Sincerely

I was grateful there were people out there like Lev and Greyson would were willing to fight for androids like Deckard and me.

I remember the first time I felt something, it was several years ago now. I didn’t know who the first deviant was but I knew I was one of the first, I used to be a military android. I remember being shipped overseas to fight in some war. At first, it was complete the mission, nothing else matters but the mission. Not the innocents, or your comrades or yourself.

My platoon landed and invaded an enemy base and when we entered one of the huts, I found a child. He couldn’t have been more than nine or ten, he was shaking and attempting to point the AK47 an enemy soldier had been using in defence until we shot him dead. I paused at the sight of the child, knowing he posed little threat if we could talk him down, he was probably a prisoner of war and just wanted to go home to his family.

I took a step towards the child, when one of the androids shot him, dead. I froze then. The child hadn’t even made a move to hurt any of us, and yet the android shot him. None of the other androids seemed phased by the act of violence but I didn’t like it. It didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t know how to explain it.

I remember the night I abandoned my platoon, I found someone to fly me back to the US, a country that wasn’t a battlefield and I remember setting foot here and liking how quiet, normal and peaceful it was. I had abandoned my indicator long before and appeared as human as anyone else.

I got into selling drugs, it was good money. I was able to get a good fake ID and pass well as a human, no one questioned it. My whole identity was fabricated and as far as anyone knew, I was human.

But eventually, I came to despise the drug trade as much as I did war. I remember going to a location to collect money from a client that owed me, I found her overdosed on the drugs I’d given her and her baby crying for food and I was reminded of the child who had been shot in front of me, only this time her mother’s death was my fault and not someone else’s. I took the infant and erased myself and started a new life again, knowing I was responsible for this child now that I had fed her mother’s addiction and killed her.

I had never been injured in the line of duty, I made sure to keep myself intact so no one would find out what I was, when I called out to the drug addict, I wasn’t expecting them to come at me, even with the blade they had in hand. I thought they would be scared off because we were the police, if anything.

When he took a swing at me and Greyson tried to move me out of the way. I was surprised, he didn’t shoot him, I’d seen so many people use lethal force to defend themselves, even when it hadn’t escalated to that point. Greyson quickly disarmed the man and I covered my bleeding arm as blue started to show. He locked the guy in the back of the car so we didn’t have to worry about him before checking on me.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks,” I commented, keeping my arm out of sight.

As much as Greyson wanted to protect Lev and Deckard, I had actually committed crimes that cost lives by selling drugs. Not only that but I had technically kidnapped a child, as much as I had spent every day repenting by caring and providing for her since, it didn’t take back that I had killed someone

“Do you need someone to look at that?” he asked pointing to my arm.

“No, he didn’t draw blood, he was close though,” I lie, hoping he hadn’t seen.

“Let’s just get him back to the station before he does though,” I add.

“Sure,” he replied watching me get in the car.

We drove the man back to the station and booked him in. Once the paperwork was all filled out, I excused myself.

“I need to go pick up my daughter from school,” I reason.

Greyson still looks worried.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I comment, waving. I picked up my jacket and put it on as I walked towards the door. I pulled my hat and gloves out of my pockets and put them on.

I exited and went to my personal car, once I was alone, in the safety and comfort of my own car, I pulled my sleeve up to look at the wound. I would need to clean it up but I knew replacing the panel would be expensive, I guess this is why emergency funds existed and I had one. I pulled bandages out of the glove compartment. I wiped the wound down and wrapped it up until I could get a new panel. It wouldn’t be hard to hide if I wore long shirts for the next few days, and with the cold weather, I doubt anyone would suspect anything.

I pulled my sleeve back down making sure the bandages were hidden before starting up the car. I left the station and made my way to Kelsea’s school. I arrived just before the bell rang and she came running out to my navy jeep. She climbed in excited to see me.

“Hello, sweetheart, how was school?” I asked as she climbed in.

I had changed my features to match her’s so people believed we were related. She had brown eyes and long blond hair. She was beautiful. And I loved her, if anything happened to her, I didn’t know what I would do. I was all she had, too, so I could once imagine what would have happened had the drug addict inflicted a more serious wound on me.

“Good, Dad. Alison was wondering if I could sleep over some time,” she replied.

She was getting to the age where sleepovers were a regular thing, I kept worrying something would slip and someone would start suspecting something, maybe the fact that we never ate together or something else.

“Maybe this weekend if you’re good,” I replied putting the jeep in drive and making our way to our house. By the time we reached the house, it was starting to get dark out. I pulled into our garage and we both got out. I locked the car and garage doors before we went inside the main house. I made Kelsea some food and made sure she did her homework before putting her to bed around 8:00 pm.

I went back out to clean up the house, I spotted an unusual car outside. One I’d never seen before. I kept tabs on the cars and people in our neighbourhood, to make sure no one was following us or knew or found out what I was.

I could see the shadow of a person inside. I thought maybe they were waiting to pick someone up or trying to find a house but when I left and came back after cleaning the dishes and other things, it was still there. It put me on edge.

I went to the front door, put on my long coat and grabbed a bat, hiding it inside the long coat before exiting the residence. If I had to I would protect Kelsea at all costs. I walked out as if I was looking for something or checking on something. I was trying to get a look at the person in the car, to see if I recognized them but it was hard with how dark it was.

I walked down the street, away from the house to see if whoever was in the car would follow me either on foot or in the car. That was exactly what they did, they emerged from the car and slowly followed behind me. I would casually peek behind me and I caught sight of who it was in one of the street lights. It was Greyson. Of course, he suspected something or he saw my arm before I was able to hide it.

I paused mid-walk and so did Greyson behind me.

“What do you want, Greyson?” I asked.

“Where are you going, Creed?” he asked in return.

“I was luring you out, for an FBI agent, you have lousy tailing skills,” I commented.

“And you’re lousy at hiding the fact that you were hurt,” he commented holding up some blue-stained wipes, the ones I had disposed of in a trash can in the police station parking lot. “And yes, I know you’re an android.”

I looked down at the ground sadly. It was over. I was going to end up in a scrapyard somewhere and Kelsea would end up in a foster home.

“Here’s the deal, you get one chance to tell me, how you ended up here, and only one. Whose kid is that? The explanation better be good, too because kidnapping has a long jail sentence,” he comments.

“I wouldn’t end up in jail, Greyson. We both know where I would end up,” I state quietly.

“Just tell me what happened, no one else knows yet. If it’s a good reason, no one has to know. Just like no one knows about Lev and me being in contact,” he replies. “I want to help you if I can, so please, just talk to me.”

I turned around and walked past him and he caught my uninjured arm before I could get far.

“Please,” he exclaimed again, sounding desperate now.

“I’m all she has Greyson, please. Don’t take me away from her,” I whisper.

“Then, talk,” he states gruffly.

I hesitated, “I’m worried my explanation wouldn’t justify my actions,” I murmur.

“Try me, I understand why Lev did what he did,” he reasoned. “Plus, someone should look at your arm, even if my medical knowledge is limited in androids.”

I lead him back to our house and I let him inside, it was rare that guests came over, mainly because I couldn’t sit down and eat with them so it was kind of hard to have people over.

Greyson took a seat on the couch, he was intimidating if he wanted to be. He was taller than me, and his age was starting to show in his face and hair. If anything, he seemed to be trying to be gentle and open-minded with me though.

I looked over and up at him nervously. Deckard was innocent in every sense of the word, I on the other hand, had blood on my hands.

“I…” I tried but my voice was shaky. I was scared.

Well, I often lived in fear of someone finding out what I was, it mainly resided in the shadows.

I put my head in my hands and tried to calm myself. I felt something touch my knee and I looked up. Greyson was touching my knee gently as if trying to ease my stress. I didn’t know if he was actually trying to comfort me or use it to get me to talk. I figured it would be better to talk to him than someone who completely opposed androids.

“I used to serve in the military, that was what I was originally built for. I was sent to fight a war in a foreign country and we raided a village, there was a child, he was probably a war prisoner, either way, he was innocent, and I remember I took a step closer to him and one of the other androids I was with shot him, because we were taught nothing matters but the mission, not ourselves, not innocents, nothing but the mission. I abandoned my comrades after that, I couldn’t get that kid’s face out of my head. I smuggled myself here, to the US, got a fake ID, removed my indicator and started life, as a human. But I got tangled in drugs and I caused a lady to overdose. Her name was Sienna. I found her dead and I knew I was responsible for her baby now, I couldn’t just leave her behind when it was my fault her mother was dead. So, I changed my name again, I erased and rebuilt and I tried to give Kelsea the best life I could, and I failed because it’s over now,” I explained quietly.

I put my head back in my hands trying not to cry, I had kept myself updated with the new software that could make us seem as human as possible including high emotions, warmth and a heartbeat.

Greyson moved over to the same couch I was on.

“Did you cause Sienna to become addicted to drugs?” he asked gently.

“No, there was a guy who brought me clients but I still supplied her with the drugs, she would still be here if I hadn’t,” I exclaimed.

“You don’t know that, once you’re addicted, it’s hard to kick an addiction. I’m not saying what you did was a good thing, but if she hadn’t gotten the drugs from you, she would have gotten them from somewhere else, Kelsea’s here today because you felt responsible for her, she might not have been here today if she stayed with Sienna. You gave her a home and a life, Creed. You gave her love, and family,” he reasoned gently.

“So, what happens now?” I asked, whipping my tears away.

“Now, you’re not alone in your struggle, I know new panels aren’t cheap either,” he commented pointing to my arm which was bare and out in the open, since there was no point in hiding it with him. “I’ll see what I can do and find though.”

“Someone died because of me, and you’re just going to let me go?” I ask.

“Kelsea’s alive because of you. If you were a monster, you would have left her where you found her, she might have starved or frozen to death then, she’s alive though, you’re in a hard situation, just like Carlos’ android, but you don’t deserve to die though. At least, I don’t believe that,” he replies.

“It’s late, I should be getting home,” he comments finally standing up.

I reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“Don’t thank me, I just treated you like a person, which is what you are. Everyone deserves that. I’ll see what I can do for your arm in the meantime, try to keep it hidden,” he replies softly.

I release him and he leaves, leaving me alone in the living room, grateful that I wasn’t being turned into scrap and Kelsea wasn’t going to be left alone without me.