FULL NOVELXO SIN-BIN: Chapter 30
COLTON
I’m sitting up straight on the couch in my living room, having a hard time calming down. What the fuck was that? Why on Earth was I dreaming about Helen? About her kissing me in my car? I haven’t had a dream like that for a while now, and I didn’t see it coming.
I rub my face with my palms, shooing away the remnants of sleep. I raise my arms, stretch them over my head, and stand up, grasping my phone from the table. Eight forty a.m. I listen to the quiet of my apartment. She’s still asleep, and I don’t want to wake her up. Not until breakfast is ready. Maybe I should just admit to myself I would do anything to get her to stay longer? To persuade her to spend the day with me?
I’ve never been as whipped as I am right now. It’s ridiculous.
I smile to myself and silently head to my bathroom. I close the door and quickly wash my face. Drinking yesterday was a bad idea. The stubble on my cheeks has become more visible, and I’m not sure if I like it…because I’m not sure if she likes it.
Jesus Christ. Someone needs to help me navigate my shit. So far, I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle—which in my case is Ava’s Triangle. For the first time in my twenty-one years of life, I feel like a lost puppy. A very lost and hopeless puppy.
Once I’m in the kitchen, I open the fridge and scan what I have in here. Fried eggs with toast will do. Hopefully she likes that. I don’t want to ruin my chances with her by cooking something she’ll refuse to eat.
For the next fifteen minutes, I’m busy preparing food for us. The kitchen is filled with different sounds, but I hear her. She tiptoes from the bedroom and then stops in the doorway. I feel her gaze on me, and my lips involuntarily stretch into a smile. My skin warms up, and my heartbeat accelerates. The effect she has on me is just…wow. I never thought it could be possible for someone to affect me like she does.
“Good morning,” I say without looking at her. It’s almost time to place the eggs on the plates, and I don’t want to wreck them.
“Good morning,” Ava echoes and walks up to stand by my side. “Smells delicious.”
“Hopefully it will taste good too.” I squint at her. Ava has this look on her face, one I struggle to interpret. Mischief, happiness, and…damn you.
As soon as I lower my gaze to her chest, I know she wants me. Her pebbled nipples poke through my tee, and I suddenly don’t want to eat. At least, not the eggs I just fried. I breathe out through my nostrils and clear my throat. “Can you please grab two plates from that cabinet?”
“Sure.” She moves away, brushing her fingertips over my hand. It takes all the strength I have not to send everything flying and toss her over my shoulder. I have a plan, and I desperately want to stick to it. I can always fuck her later…or now?
“We got to bed pretty late. I didn’t expect you to be up so early. Or are you always an early riser?” she asks.
“Depends. If I need to be somewhere, I’ll be up way earlier than I need to be. But if I get a chance to sleep in, I will.” I turn the burner off, round the kitchen island, and edge to the table. I serve the eggs and then go back to grab the toast with Nutella. I want to pat myself on the back for buying all this stuff. This morning would have been disastrous if I didn’t have anything in my fridge. “Do you want coffee or tea?”
“Coffee would be great.” Ava takes the plate with the toast from my hand and puts it on the table. “Do you need help?”
“Nope.” I expected her to want coffee, so it was the first thing I made once I got to the kitchen. I pour some into two mugs and return to her. “Do you need—”
She waves a fork, and I chuckle. She’s always one step ahead of me. I plop myself down on the chair and take a fork in my hand, holding her gaze.
“Enjoy your meal,” Ava murmurs, taking a bite of toast.
“Thank you. Enjoy your meal too.”
We eat and talk. About college and our majors, about movies we watched recently. Small talk with her is easy and effortless. She doesn’t pretend, and I enjoy the conversation to no end. I’m not playing anyone as well; I’m just being myself around her. I ask her questions about her hometown and realize it’s thirty minutes away from my own. If she were older, I probably would have met her already, just like I already knew Drake before we got to college. Our high school teams played against each other more than once.
“My dad is the coolest man I know.” She takes a sip of her coffee, cocking her eyebrow. I put our empty plates in the dishwasher, so there is only a bowl of M&Ms cookies left. “He set my standards pretty high.”
“I’ll try to live up to your expectations.” I take a bite of cookie and wash it down with my coffee. “Never thought I would be competing with someone’s dad.”
Ava pauses, and her eyes round slightly. She sets her mug aside, puts her elbows on the table, and lowers her chin into her palms. Her gaze is intense and penetrating, but I don’t look away. I let her see me. “I have a question for you, but you have to promise not to lie.”
“I never lie.”
“Everyone lies.” She rolls her eyes, and I clench my jaw.
“I keep things to myself when I think they don’t concern anyone but me. I’m not really open with people or talkative,” I say simply, placing my mug on the table and leaning in. “But I’m not a liar.”
“And you’ve never lied?”
“In the past, but not anymore.” My body relaxes, and I sigh. “My lies led to something horrible. Someone incredibly dear to me suffered because of it. The consequences of my actions will haunt me forever, and I don’t have it in me to lie ever again. It’s not worth it.”
She’s silent for a moment, gawking at me without blinking. Then a hasty smile stretches across her mouth. “That makes me wonder how many people know the real you. Because something tells me I wouldn’t even need all the fingers on one hand to count them.”
“No one,” I confess, and her lips part. I’m sure she thought I would at least say Clay, but that would be a lie. Even my best friend doesn’t know everything about me. “But you’re getting dangerously close to the ugly truth, the one I hide from everyone.”
“There is nothing ugly about you, Colt.”
“You don’t know—”
Ava interrupts me, grinning. “True, but I intend to fix that.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Looking forward to it.” I lick my lips. “What did you want to ask?”
“Do you like me?”
Do I tell her the truth or laugh it off? If I want her in my life, there is only one option.
“Yeah, I do. I like you. I thought I’d made it embarrassingly obvious.”
“And confusing,” she utters, smacking her lips together. “I like you too, but—”
“But?” I pinch my brows together.
“You don’t date anyone,” Ava blurts, grabbing her coffee mug between her palms. “And before I went to college, I promised myself I’d do the same. Hookups are the only thing I’m interested in right now. At least in my first year.”
“It’s my last year here.”
“And that’s another reason why I don’t want anything serious.” She brings the mug to her lips, but instantly lowers it to the table. “Can you imagine falling for someone and then saying goodbye as soon as they graduate? I don’t know about you, Colton, but my feelings can’t be changed with a remote control. I can’t turn them on and off whenever I want.”
“No one can.” The weird feeling in my lower abdomen whirls and grows, filling my insides with sorrow. “After graduation I plan to sign a contract with the Thunders and go to Cali. Or any other state if I can find another team.”
“And I will stay here. For the next three years.”
We both fall silent, and I feel the wheels in my head turning. They’re painfully slow, but that’s exactly what I need to find a solution. If my past taught me anything, it’s that everything can change. Nothing is set in stone. Except for one thing: I refuse to accept her not being in my life.
“Then how about being my enemy with benefits?”
“Why enemy?”
“Because they make the best lovers, don’t they?” My smile blooms, and I wink at her. She’s far from my enemy, but teasing her feels amazing.
“We haven’t tested that theory.” And that’s how I know she’s back in the game. Her emerald eyes are full of amusement, but with how dark they are, I know her desire is there.
“We have the whole day ahead of us.” I stand up from the table and take a step closer to her. “To test the theory.” She lets me pull her to her feet, and I lift her, wrapping her legs around my hips. “Besides, I’m still hungry.”
“And what are you going to eat?” she breathes, winding her hands around my neck.
I ignore her question, wheel around, and saunter to my bedroom. We still have one thing we need to settle before I’ll answer her.
“Colt?”
“Being enemies with benefits means being exclusive. I’m only yours, and you’re only mine,” I muse huskily and feel her shudder. “Are you okay with that?”
Her gaze is feverish, and I feel my skin becoming hotter with each second. I slam the door to my bedroom closed and lower her onto my bed, standing up between her legs. I put my palms on her thighs, moving them up along her skin and taking off her panties in one swift motion. Spreading her legs apart on the bed, her knees wide, I groan seeing how wet she is. I swallow hard, boring my gaze into hers.
“Are you okay with that, Ava? Ready to be mine?”
“Yes,” she purrs, and I kneel, hauling her ass to the edge of my bed.
“Then get comfortable. I’m going to eat my dessert.”