SILENCE

He looked at her as she held the kids tighter – more like her entire life depended on this one hug. The nightmare she just had must have torn her apart because she was still shaking and looking like the weight of the world had come crumbling on her shoulders.

‘Do you want anything?’ he asked

‘Just call mum, tell her that I am going there.’ She said wiping her tears

He looked at her one more time before going out of the room.

‘Hello.’ Elisha said

‘My son what a pleasant surprise.’ She responded on the other end of the line

‘How have you been?’

‘Well you know your father has been on and off drugs of late, but we are doing alright.’

‘That is great.’

‘So how is Larna and the kids?’

‘They are doing just alright mum.’ He said with a smile

‘When do you plan on bringing the kids here?’ she asked

‘Well I am hoping soon.’

‘Why does this phone call sound like it isn’t ordinary?’

He sighed

‘Larna asked me to call you, she will be coming later.’

There was silence

‘Is everything okay?’ Mrs. Chishala asked

‘Yes mum, everything is okay.’

They chatted more for a while before he dropped the line, he too wanted to know why all of a sudden she wanted to see her parents but he had learnt that trust was the most important thing in any relationship and he had to trust her to make the right and concrete decisions.

Larna got up from bed and went to take a bath, as the water poured on her skin she couldn’t help but feel the reality of the dream. She had done well by burying her past but with the dream she knew it was time to face her father.

She allowed the tears to fall one more time before washing her face.

Once done, she settled for a white high waist pencil skirt with a yellow blouse. On her feet were gold stilettos matching her nails and she nicely pulled back her hair into a pony tail.

‘I am on my way now.’ She announced when she got into the kitchen

‘Mummy let me go with you.’ Saidi said

‘No baby, mummy has some important things to tell grandpa okay.’ She said bending over to kiss his cheek

‘Are sure you are okay?’ Elisha asked

She moved forward and hugged him real tight as tears fell.

‘I love you and I will never do anything to destroy what we have.’ She said between sobs.’

‘Baby is there something you are not telling me?’

She shook her head and signaled for the kids to come forward where they got into one big hug.

‘I love all of you.’ She said before walking out

The drive to Chelstone was quiet, Larna kept replaying the dream she had had; everything about it was so real. She could have sworn that if narrated to someone else they would think it had actually happened.

She drove into the compound and spotted her mother working in the garden; she had heard from Elisha that her father was not very fine and spent most days inside and so she was guessing he was on his own.

‘Larna.’ Her mother said trying to shield the shock written on face her face

‘Hello, mother.’ Larna responded clearing her throat

‘It’s good to see you.’

Larna just smiled

‘Is he home?’ she asked, the word dad a little too heavy for her and so she chose not to say it.

‘He will be glad to see you, he is in the bedroom.’

She walked away from her mother’s presence to the house, her heart was in so many places but she knew she had to do this now or never.

She knocked once on the door and his frail voice responded asking her to go in.

He was shocked as well to see her.

‘Child.’ He said extending his weak hand

Larna stood in one place not sure of what to do, she was in conflict with herself.

‘How have you been?’ she managed to say after clearing her throat

‘Come over here child, I guess my days are numbered because how possible is it that after years of not talking you decided to show up?’ he asked with a weak smile

‘I know what you are.’ She began

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I said I know what you are.’ She repeated a little louder this time

He moved himself steadily with so much effort and sat in a position where he was facing her.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I was there the day Sasha came into the house and you beat her up.’

He flinched

‘Larna what else did you hear that day?’

‘Everything I needed to hate you, everything I needed not to believe in you anymore. Everything I needed never to trust you again.’ She said tears pouring out

‘Larna listen to me, whatever you heard that day is not as it is. Whatever you heard that day has a second story to it.’

‘Stop it! Just stop it! It has been more than fourteen years already. I have lived in pain and disappointment, don’t you think the least you can do is just being honest with me?’

Just then her mother walked in.

‘What is going on here? You know your father is sick and you are not supposed to be upsetting him.’ She rebuked

Larna stood there debating on what to do, she had the choice of telling her mother the kind of man she had been married to all these years but she chose not to.

‘If this is why you came, I suggest you should just leave.’ She said strongly

‘Please let her stay.’ Her father begged

‘You are in no condition to be upset, her presence seems to be doing otherwise.’

Larna turned to leave but stopped half way.

‘I forgive you.’ She said

‘What?’ her mother asked

‘Dad I forgive you for everything and I just hope that you have made peace within yourself because trust me this silence has eaten me up. This silence has been like a cancer, killing everything good in my life. I tried to create the best thing I could call my own but I guess running away didn’t solve anything and it took a nightmare that scared the life out of me to face you.’ She said more tears falling

‘Larna.’ He said also in tears

‘It’s fine dad, you are my father after all and we all have our skeletons and had I spoken out things would have been better. But trust me I have never been the same since that day. Take care of yourself.’ She said walking out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, she could hear her mother crying inside. He was probably confessing to her, obviously he had decided to go with the secret to the grave but Larna confronting him had brought out a new spirit in him.

After a while, her mother came out and her eyes were dry but you could see that she had sadness written all over.

‘I am sorry child, I should have protected you from all this.’ She said as they embraced

‘It is not your fault.’ Larna told her.

*

It had been three days since the bereavement and now they had to bury him, Larna looked at her mother who had not shed a single tear since the time of his death.

‘Mother you have to give a speech.’

‘A speech?’ she asked with a chuckle

‘Yes a speech, a tribute so to say.’

‘What do you want me to say Larna? That I was married to a man who enjoyed having sex with dead people and I only found out about it at the time of his death?’ she asked now tears spilling for the first time

‘Mother I know it is hard for you, it was hard for me as well but I want you to look at this in a different way. Yes he made a share of mistakes but he is the man you fell in love with, the man you tied the knot to, the man who made you a mother and has been your husband all through the years.’

‘Larna how can I look past all that?’

‘He is gone, he confessed.’

‘Only because you confronted him!’ she said almost yelling

‘Mother it is done, he is gone and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it.’ She said

The two women embraced as they walked to the backyard, they had decided to bury Mr. Chishala at his home since it was a farm house.

‘Today we put to rest my husband, the man that gave his entire life to me and my child. The man that never left my side in times of need and I hope to meet him again.’ She said when it was time for her to give the speech.

‘I am glad you made peace with him before he died.’ Elisha said holding her hand as they put flowers on his grave

‘I feel better and lighter.’ She said with a smile

‘I love you.’ She added

‘I will always do.’ She responded

Winnie

🌺