Shielded

The boys were restless. Blake was barely acknowledging our presence and hadn’t eaten anything all day. My brother was obsessively cleaning and had reorganized the kitchen pantry, the garage, and my office. Connor was the worst though. Pacing back and forth in front of my desk and demanding that I do something to find Ray. And I would have if I could have without crossing some pretty big lines because I was worried too. Logically I knew that she should be fine. She didn’t survive seventeen years by being weak. Delia Ray Olsen could take care of herself, but the point was that she didn’t have to anymore. She had found us and now we would take care of her if only she would allow it.

--Elijah

The next morning I took a moment to look at the impressive-looking bruise that covered the right side of my face in the truck stop bathroom mirror. That Kyle guy really could pack a punch. After probing the puffy skin and hissing out in pain I decided to stop messing with it. I wasn’t a stranger to bruises. I looked down at my watch and saw that I was running late so I hurried to grab the coffees and juice before intercepting Jack and Amy before they got on my bus. I handed everything to Jack and ran inside to exchange my shower caddy for my school bag and then we walked together to the bus stop.

Amy was excitedly messing with her phone and talking about all the people she was going to text. Jack tried to explain that the phone was for emergencies only, but I knew that both me and him would be pitching in to keep minutes on Amy’s phone. What could we do? She was a fourteen-year-old girl and we just gave her her first cell phone. There were some things in life that just weren’t worth the fight.

Jack gave me a side look and I knew he was checking out the damage to my face. Jack was used to me showing up with bruises and he had witnessed me fight over a dozen times so he didn’t ask me any questions. But he did ask if I had any makeup to try to cover the bruise up. When I shook my head and raised my eyebrows in question he just smirked at me. I spent the bus ride thinking it over and came to the conclusion that Jack was worried about the reaction that I was going to get now that I had been spending the majority of the day uncloaked. It hadn’t even occurred to me to try to cover my bruises. I had never gone through the trouble before and didn’t own any makeup. But it had also been years since I had such a visible mark.

I looked around the bus and noticed quite a few faces pointed in my direction, but when I scanned the area everyone was quick to look away. When the whispering started I got a sinking feeling in my gut. Being visible was so much more work than I was used to. I was so distracted trying to hear what people were saying as we walked off the bus that I hadn’t even noticed the Three Musketeers waiting outside of the bus for me. But the moment I stepped off the bus I was pulled out of the stream of people and pushed between two of the parked busses.

I looked around and had time to identify that Max and Blake were standing to block other students from seeing as Connor gently pushed the hair away from the right side of my face and cupped my bruised cheek with his large palm. I felt myself leaning into his touch and had started to melt into the feeling of warmth and safety that radiated from him.

“Who did this to you?” Connor demanded to know in a low voice that resonated with power and I could feel the cloud of fog descend over my brain as my mouth opened on its own volition.

“Kyle Johnson,” I heard my voice say in an emotionless tone. The second that the words left my mouth my hard-earned self-defense skills clicked into place and my shield burst from my chest and made a small protective cocoon around me. I felt the zing of power from Connor as his hand was forced away from my skin. Then it was like there was a weight pushing down on my chest and I couldn’t get enough air. Daggers formed in my hands and I backed away as far as I could from Connor until back hit the solid surface of the bus.

“Did you just compel me to answer?” I asked in a ragged voice as I tried to get a handle on breathing evenly again.

“Yes,” Connor clipped out. “Who is Kyle Johnson and where can I find him?” I could feel the power pushing at me but years of practice had taught me how to withstand Compulsion behind the protection of my shield. I didn’t want to hurt Connor but if he didn’t stop trying to force me to do something against my will I was going to lash out on instinct. Another wave of power emanated from him and I knew that Connor was much stronger than my father had ever been.

Several things happened all at once. My shield slipped as I struggled to get air into my lungs and Connor’s power once again seeped into my system and I unwillingly said, “Some mugger I ran into yesterday. He is most likely in county holding.” At the same time, Max grabbed Connor’s shoulder and shoved him away from me while demanding that he stop.

As the Compulsion eased I pushed completely back into the void and sealed the entrance before falling to my knees. I took gasping gups of air and tried to push the memories away. Now was not the time to have a panic attack. I was stronger than that. Stronger than my past. I refused to let my father hold that kind of lasting power over me.

I focused on what was happening around me to pull my mind out of the past. Connor had shoved free of Max’s grip and now was slowly waving his hands through the air where I had just been. “What were you thinking, pushing her like that?” Max practically yelled at Connor. “She clearly was upset.”

“I was thinking that some motherfucker put his hands on her and I need to find him so that I can turn him into a dead motherfucker,” Connor growled out obviously still angry. This was good. His anger was a lot better than my fear. I got up and straightened my spine. I would not let this get the better of me.

“I don’t understand the big deal,” Blake said from behind Max. “All Connor did was ask a simple question. It wasn’t like he was hurting her.” At his words, anger started to burn hot in my belly and all traces of panic were pushed out. I walked to the other side of Blake so that I would have a clear exit and then stepped out of the void.

“My father compelled me for fourteen years,” I said with hate lacing my voice and all three of them whipped around but I didn’t stop to let them talk. “Simple things like ordering me when to eat or where to sleep turned into making me sit still without moving a single muscle for hours on end or training until I passed out from exhaustion. And that led to him forcing me to be his human lie detector and ordering me to fight to the death. I was a prisoner in my own body, unable to control my own actions as he stripped every ounce of control from me until I was nothing more than a skin and bone robot who did his bidding.

“Taking away my choice and forcing me to do something will always be a big deal. And the fact that Connor did it so easily tells me that he is no better than the monster that raised me,” I hissed out before turning and walking away. A loud crash made me jump and I looked back to see that Connor had punched the back of the parked bus and left a massive dent. The violence, memories, and lingering feeling of fog in my brain was too much and I could feel the burn of bile at the back of my throat. I used the void to run to the nearest girl's bathroom and threw up my morning coffee.

My body wouldn’t accept that I didn’t have anything else to expel and I was racked with dry heaves as tears streamed down my face. Eventually, my body calmed down and I was able to take a full breath. Shivers tore through my system and I crouched in the corner and pulled the fabric of reality around me until I was safely ensconced in my void. Memories started flooding in and I was unable to stop them this time.

“He’s lying,” I heard myself say moments before my father pulled the trigger covering the man’s young, pregnant wife in blood splatter.

“Call a blade and cut off his finger. He needs to learn not to take what is not his,” my father’s voice whispered into my ear and his laughter echoed through the large room as I compiled without a noise of protest.

The skin on my knuckles split as I forced my fist against his head over and over. I tried so hard but I was unable to swim through the fog to stop before there was nothing left but cracked bone and brain matter.

“Ray?” A clear calm voice called out into the bathroom and I snapped my head up to see Chastity peering into the apparently empty stall before moving to the next one and calling my name again. “Ray, honey are you in here? I just want to make sure you are okay. Some girls said they saw you run into a stall and that you were sick.”

I glanced down at my watch and saw that homeroom was almost already over. Some girls didn’t go to Chastity because they were worried about me. Either she heard the gossip and came to check on me or Max had sent her. The first was sweet but the second was more likely.

Sitting here on the disgusting bathroom floor wasn’t going to solve any problems. I had survived my father and I would survive those boys and this high school. I would find a way to get my own apartment that had electricity and running water. I would hopefully get a scholarship to college and get a good education so that I could get a job that allowed me to live a quiet and safe life. I was going to be in control of my own life.

But none of that was going to happen if I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. I stepped out of the void but kept myself cloaked as I washed my face and hands. Chastity turned at the sound of the faucet and tried to talk to me, but I wasn’t quite ready for that. I uncloaked enough for her to see me and reached over to give her hand a small squeeze to let her know that I was okay and not blowing her off before leaving the bathroom. I went to my English class and waited for the bell to ring and the class to empty of students before claiming my normal seat. Today I was going to pretend that none of the last week happened and get through. Tomorrow I will figure out what to do about the Valkyrie in my life.

Thankfully Connor didn’t sit next to me or try to talk to me in history and Jack and I found our little broken table empty at lunch. I wasn’t hungry but I forced myself to eat the fish sticks and coleslaw. I had a shift at Polly’s after school and if I didn’t eat now I was going to be starving later. Blake was waiting at the web design classroom door when I arrived holding a hand out so that every person had to touch him to get into the class. It was kinda funny that they still thought that I could only turn myself invisible, but he was clearly putting effort into finding me.

I uncloaked myself and looked up into his sorrowful eyes just now noticing that he had large purple circles outlining each one. Was Blake not sleeping?

“Two minutes. Please just give me two minutes,” Blake pleaded and I nodded after a moment of hesitation. I couldn’t deny his puppy dog face. He let out a sigh of relief and then walked across the hall to an empty classroom. I followed and as soon as I was through the door Blake engulfed me in a giant bear hug. Peace and warmth flooded my system as he started talking into my hair, “I am so sorry Baby Girl. I am a shit for saying that it wasn’t a big deal and I am so fucking sorry that you had to live through that kind of hell. We had no idea. I swear we had no idea. Please believe me.”

I appreciated that he didn’t try to defend his brother’s actions. I pulled away from the amazing hug but kept a hold of his hands because I really needed the peace and feelings of safety that he was providing right now. “I do believe you. But you have to realize that all of this is a lot for me. I have been taking care of myself for a long time and you guys can’t just jump into my life and expect to just know everything. Trust and friendship take time.”

“I know Ray Ray. But I just found you. I’m scared that I will turn around and you are going to just be gone as suddenly as you showed up. I don’t want to lose you,” Blake said and I could feel the truth of his words. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I hugged him again and we stayed like that for a good minute before returning to class. The whole thing, from the Valkyrie contact to clearing the air with Blake, made me feel a lot better.

When I arrived at my chemistry class later that day I saw Max sitting in my lab partner’s seat and he avoided looking directly at me while he told me that he got my lab partner to trade places with him so that we could work together. He told me that he could undo it if I didn’t want to work with him but I just shook my head. We didn’t have a come to Jesus moment like Blake and I had but after working through the entire experiment together I knew that Max and I were going to be just fine.

When the bell rang Max asked what I was doing after school and I told him that I had a work shift. “Can I give you a ride?” he asked and I could tell that it was an excuse to get me alone. I searched his eyes and didn’t see any pity or assumptions so I agreed to let him drive me to Polly’s. I was relieved when he led me over to a Toyota Corolla instead of the mini monster truck I had hitched a ride in last week. I was even more relieved to see that Connor wouldn’t be joining us.

After giving Max some simple directions of how to get to Polly’s we descended into silence and I could practically cut the tension with a knife. We were about three minutes from the restaurant when Max finally spoke. “You said that your father was dead, but I would like to know how sure you are of that fact,” Max said in an overly formal voice that piqued my interest.

“Why do you want to know?” I asked.

“If there is even the slightest chance that he is alive, I am going to make it my life’s mission to hunt him down and make him suffer a very slow and painful death.” I turned in my seat so that I could fully face him. Was the sweat and shy boy that only wanted to heal people serious about murdering the sorry excuse I had as a father? Yes, yes he was.

“You would do that?” I asked in a small unsure voice.

Max pulled over and also turned in his seat before he said, “Ray, what he did to you is so unforgivable and unacceptable that I don’t have words to describe how evil he must have been. I would do almost anything to protect you because it is in my nature to do so, but I would go against everything in my nature to try to get even an ounce of justice for you. Someone who is willing to do what he did to you has no right to exist in this world.”

“Thanks, Max,” I murmured while holding back tears. I was done with showing emotions for the day.

Max searched my eyes for something before asking, “can I heal your face?”

I gave him a soft smile before replying, “Won’t people notice that I am suddenly bruise-free?”

“I don’t really care,” Max said before turning back to face the road and pulling back into traffic. A few minutes later he parked in Polly’s parking lot. I couldn’t let Max risk exposing us just for a bruise but I could give him some reassurance.

“I watched as the morgue attendant pushed my father’s dead body into the cremation chamber and stayed until he was nothing more than a pile of ashes. He is dead and can’t hurt anyone ever again.” Max reached over and squeezed my hand and we sat holding hands for a few minutes before I figured it was time that I got out of the car. I was halfway to the door when I remembered something and did an about-face and returned to the passenger side. Max rolled down the window and I said, “I forgot. I got a cell phone on Saturday. What’s your number?”

Max smiled at me and gave me his number. I plugged it into the phone’s contacts and sent him a text because I still hadn’t figured out how to get the damn thing to display my own phone number. Max reassured me that he would give my number to the other guys and they would send me a text so that I would have all of their numbers. I briefly wondered if Connor would text me but decided that was a problem for future Ray to deal with.

The first couple of hours of my shift were rough. Every person and their mother wanted to know what had happened to my face. I knew from experience that it was going to take the better part of a week for the bruise to completely fade so I was going to have to look into buying some coverup at the very least. We were right in the middle of the dinner rush, which was pretty manageable because it was a Monday when Leah told me that a man at the bar was asking for me by name.

I put in my most recent table’s order and stepped behind the bar to search for my mystery caller. I didn’t see anyone that I knew, but tucked away in the corner was a man that had very familiar chocolate brown eyes. The same color eyes that Max, Blake, and Connor had when they were wearing their contacts. Four years of not running across a single Valkyrie and now there seemed to be everywhere.

I walked slowly over to stand across from the mystery man and looked him over. At first, I thought he was older but the closer I got I estimated that he was only twenty or twenty-one. He was ruggedly handsome with medium-length light brown hair and a close-cut beard and mustache that emphasized his strong jaw and cheekbones. His eyes were slightly hostile and I could tell that he had something he wanted to get off his chest. He was also wearing an Oakland Police uniform complete with a shiny badge pinned to his broad chest.

He took the opportunity to assess me in return and I had a suspicion that he deduced more than the average joe would from a single glance. “Hello,” I stated warily and attempted to mentally prepare myself for whatever was going to happen next.

“You must be Ray. My name is Derik Risberg and I am a part of the Oakland Clan.” He made no motion to shake my hand so I stood awkwardly behind the bar and wondered if there was some formal response that I was supposed to give. Maybe Max had a book on Valkyrie culture and customs.

“Hello, Derik. What can I do for you?”

“You can get your ass over to the clan house and apologize to Connor,” he said in a completely serious voice and I felt my eyebrows lift as the shock of his statement fully sank in. He had to be fucking kidding me. I was not going to apologize to Connor when he was clearly in the wrong. I was still unsure if I ever wanted to interact with Connor again. People with the power to force others couldn’t be trusted.

“Excuse me?” I asked and let my disbelief bleed into my voice.

“I showed up to the house today to find that boy completely wrecked. He explained what happened and how he was a monster that didn’t deserve forgiveness. Connor Berg is a loyal, kind, hothead who doesn’t deserve to have some female Valkyrie walk into his life and pull this shit on him. You know as well as I do that our Gifts are driven by our emotions. Connor was worried about you and stopped by your so-called foster house and couldn’t find any evidence that you ever even lived there. He was strung out on worry all weekend and the first time he sees you, you look like you got hit by a Mack truck. All Valkyrie are protective in nature but Connor takes it to a whole other level and he feels that unbearable urge to keep you safe. Of course, he overreacted when he saw your busted-up face.

“But everything that happened after that is on you. You understandably let your fear and past trauma get the best of you and lashed out. I can understand that. But punishing Connor for something that he didn’t do and had no control over is malicious and I won’t allow it. Connor would never hurt you or force you to do something against your will. He is not your father and insinuating that Connor would do anything remotely close to what he did, is not acceptable. So you need to get your ass over to the house and make things right before this does permanent damage to his psyche.”

Derik had maintained eye contact with me during his little speech and I had to clench my jaw and grip the edge of the bar to keep from calling a blade and teaching this son-of-a-bitch some manners. How dare he come in here and make assumptions about me and what happened. He didn’t understand shit about my past trauma. And he wasn’t there this morning. He didn’t feel how Connor’s power breached my shield and invaded my mind. I was about two seconds from saying fuck it and showing him how much an emotional Valkyrie could do and then force him to apologize to me when Tara came over and leaned over the bar to talk to me.

“This isn’t your section Ray. Stop trying to steal my tips and go see to your own tables,” Tara breathed under her breath but I knew that Derik heard every word. I turned my pissed-off gaze to Tara’s makeup-covered eyes and she was smart enough to step away without saying anything more.

I took the moment to stare down at my shoes and tried to get a handle on my anger. I counted to five and then thought back over what Derik had said. I tried to pull his attitude out from the equation and hear what he was trying to tell me. I had told Connor that he was no better than the monster that had raised me and he had taken it to heart. Derik was right. That was an overreaction and in my heart of hearts, I knew that while Connor was powerful, he would never allow himself to do the vile things that my father had. I couldn’t allow Connor to believe such a thing about himself.

“Okay. I will take a cab over to the house after my shift,” I told Derik before turning and walking away. I may agree with the man, but that didn’t mean I needed to stay and see him gloat about it.