She Cried Wolf (OLD)

*Not Edited*

~Ashley~

It’s been a month and a half since I’ve been back and I refuse to let anyone touch me. Nobody else needs my filth. Jacksons worried, I can see it in his eyes. I lie daily and tell him I’m fine but I don’t think he believes me. When I first came home I learned how to block him out. I didn’t want him to know exactly what happened in that basement so one day, I imagined a wall. The wall has been in place ever since. I haven’t been letting myself feel anything though, so I’ve not cried. At least, not willingly. I do find my face soaked in tears after waking from nightmares. My throat is always hoarse from screaming. I’ve resorted to forcing myself to stay awake. It’s the only thing I can think of to keep the nightmares away. Jackson lays next to me sleeping peacefully. I watch him until my eyes become heavy. I find myself drawn into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Later, Jackson is in a meeting with Hunter and Kyle. I’m sitting in his office absently staring out the window. I no longer have the energy to keep my wall up. My thoughts roam free and stop in a dangerous place. I suddenly feel the need to leave. I quickly stand from the couch. Everyone’s eyes shift to me. I keep my gaze trained on my hands which are clasped in front of me. “I’m just going for a bath,” I tell Jackson quietly before heading to the bedroom. I lock the door of the bathroom before starting a bath, stipping as the tub fills. I turn the water off as I step into the warm water. I sit in the bathtub and for some reason, finally allow the tears to fall. I let my head fall back and stare at the smooth white ceiling. I thought being alone would make me feel better but It only sends me spiraling.

As my emotions build I feel Jackson come into my head. I build up the mental wall in my head to block him out. I suck in a breath before sliding under the water. I stare at the ceiling which appears to be rippling because of the water. Eventually, my lungs begin to burn from a lack of oxygen. My mind finally clears for the first time in almost two months. The absence of dark thoughts tempts me to stay under. So I do. Soon black spots appear, blocking my view of the white ceiling. The burning increases, as well as the spots but I still stay under. I close my eyes and basks in the quiet of my mind. The longer I stay under, the freer I feel.

Jackson

Ashley hasn’t been the same since we got her back. She’s constantly staring off into space. Sometimes you have to call her name two or three times before she’ll even register that you’re talking to her. Sometimes she refuses to even let me touch her. Dark circles have formed under her eyes. I know she isn’t sleeping but I can’t do anything to help. When she does sleep she always wakes up screaming. It kills me to see her like this. She’s currently staring out the window as Kyle Hunter and I have a meeting. We are talking about how we are going to punish Sydney for betraying not only her pack but her Luna and Queen. It will most likely have to go before the council. Ashley stands suddenly as a wave of anxiety shoots through our link. She stands staring at her hands for a moment before she speaks.

“I’m just going for a bath,” she mumbles before walking out. We carry on with the meeting. After a few minutes, a stronger wave of anxiety comes through the link. I push through our link to talk to her but only moments later a wall pushes me out. “Jackson? Everything okay?” Hunter questions. I shake my head. “I don’t know. She blocked me out,” I reply. I try to turn my concentration back on the meeting but Luce paces and whines. A sickly feeling settles into my stomach. I stand quickly and my chair slides back. I quickly make my way to my room. I try the handle and see it’s locked. I knock softly on the door but get no answer.

I knock again a little harder but still get nothing. “Kitten? Are you okay?” I knock harder and jiggle the doorknob. “Ash!” I shout in an attempt to get a response. I wait a second before I ram my shoulder into the door. It takes three times before the door opens. My heart drops at the sight before me. Ashley’s body is submerged under the water. Her body is completely still. I rush forward and lift her body out of the water.

Her eyes fly open and she gasps deeply. I pull her out of the bathtub and slip a shirt onto her body. I pull her into me and hold her tightly. After a long silence, her breathing finally slows. I shove her away. “What the hell Ashley?!” I exclaim utterly dumbfounded. “What the actual hell were you thinking? Were you trying to kill yourself? Do you want to die?” I growl as I stand and begin to pace. She sits silently for a while. “I-I just wanted m-my mind to q-quiet. I-I can n-never s-stop thinking a-about-” her voice cuts off.

My heart twists when I notice her eyes have welled with tears and her body has begun shaking. I drop to my knees and she averts her gaze. I grab her face and force her to look me in the eyes. “Ashley, why didn’t you talk to me? You don’t talk to me and It kills me to know that your suffering. To wake up night after night because your screaming, and know that I can’t take your dreams away. But the one way I can help is to listen and you don’t talk. I feel useless and I hate it.” My eyes fill with tears as I speak. “Talk to me Ash,” I plea softly, dropping my hands to my lap.“I-I’m scared you’ll h-hate me,” She whispers as she looks at her hands.

“I could never hate you kitten,” I say quickly. She looks up and her lip trembles. “Let’s get you changed then we’ll talk okay?” She nods and stands on shaky legs. I mind link Hunter and Kyle and ask them to leave us the house for the night. When they leave and Ashley changes I help her down the stairs to the family room. We get settled on a couch and she faces me, sucks in a breath before beginning.

Word Count: 1174

03/24/2021

And she’s back, with a third chapter this week!

Okay, so I know I said probably 5 more chapters but I’m thinking less than that. I don’t have anything else to add. I do know however that I have some major plot hole to fill in. I will be doing reconstruction after I take a break. (I mean MAJOR reconstruction)

Please know that this book is my baby. I’ve been working on SCW in one way or another for about 3 years now. I’ve fallen in love with Ashley and Jackson and Raja and Luce and everyone else. They all have a special place in my heart. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not getting board. Because to tell you the truth, I totally am. I have like five other Ideas and I’m excited to dive deeper into them. Okay, well I'm going to go now because I have like a billion other things to do.

--Thank’s for reading, and as always, Stay sweet :p

P.s Don’t be afraid to like, comment, follow or review!