Shadows Lurking

August 13th, 2005 - Saturday, 7:00am

Pain. Pain spreads through different parts of my body. A dull throbbing is present in my head, just on the right side, deep back behind my eyes. The feeling is enough to cause nausea. Rubbing at my eyes, I do my best to blink away the pain, but it persistent.

There’s nothing but darkness as I look around, not even a shape can be made out. After a few seconds, the lights start slowly filling my vision and the hallway becomes clearer. It’s dark, like always, but there’s a different smell in the air. The air is rancid and reeks of copper, as if the room had been filled with a million rusty pennies. Slowly and painfully, I force myself up onto my hands and knees, but instantly jump back at the sight before me.

Noah’s head lies just in-between me and the kitchen doorway. His pale brown eyes now lifeless and staring at nothing. The sickening part, the thing that has me retching, is the fact that his head is the only thing there. No body is to be found in sight.

This can’t be happening. No.

There’s no way this is actually happening. No.

Did I- Did I kill Noah? Yes.

Bile spills from my lips and splatters all over the floor beneath me. My arms shake as they struggle to hold up my weakened frame. My legs feel as though they’ve been put through a taffy puller for hours on end and my arms don’t feel too far behind.

Looking down at my hands now, I remember how they had been morphing before passing out, how my nails had curved into long, black claws. They’re normal now. Maybe they had been normal the entire time. Maybe I had only imagined the whole thing as a way to cope with the beating I no doubt received last night. Maybe I didn’t do this to Noah.

A cold chill hits my entire body and it’s then that I realize I don’t have any clothes on. No pants, shirt, not even my socks and underwear. Where had my clothes gone? This wasn’t the first time I had awoken with no clothes and no recollection of the previous night, but it’s the first time that it’s happened on my birthday.

Steadily, I make my way towards the kitchen, taking notice of all the destroyed furniture in the house. The walls are smeared with blood, the same blood that stains my own hands. Pain shoots through my feet as I hear glass crunching under them. Lifting a foot, I see the photo from before, the one of the smiling children. Their faces are now smeared with the blood of my father, but they still have those carefree smiles plastered on their faces.

Finally making it to the kitchen, I see that wood is scattered about the floor from the crushed table and chairs. The door to the refrigerator is torn off the hinges along with the majority of the doors in the house. Blood splatter patterns decorate the tiled flooring of the kitchen just as it had in the bathroom. Past the fridge, I can see the basement door off it’s hinges. That’s where Noah had planned to take me and keep me for my entire birthday.

In the corner of the kitchen, I can finally make out an assortment of Noah’s familiar body. The clothes he had been wearing last night are now tattered and the faint marking on the back of his neck from a tattoo he’s had his whole life has been cut through. The rest of it is no doubt on the rest of his neck out in the hallway.

A shaking hand clamps over my mouth to keep from throwing up again, knowing there’s nothing left to throw up. Everything from the last few meals I’ve had are gone and I’m not sure if I’ll ever want to replace them after smelling and seeing everything that I have today.

I had never seen anything like this before. The stench is overwhelming, and my face feels wet as the tears stream down my cheeks. Noah is gone. I’ll never have to fear him again. But I’ll also never know whether or not he would’ve started to act like the dad I once knew. He’ll never get the chance to make things right between us, but I’m not too sure if he would’ve even tried if given the opportunity.

The floorboards creak until footsteps can be heard just outside of the kitchen. I can’t even be bothered to check who it is. Watery eyes stay trained on the torn-up body in front of me. Blood no longer spills from the jagged wounds. It’s all dried up and coated on the tiled floor.

“What did I do?”

My words are no more than a whisper. Were they for me- for Noah- for God? There’s no telling.

“Rylan-” A voice I don’t recognize. The man doesn’t even sound convinced that he’s saying the correct name. “Rylan Evans?”

He’s got the name right, alright, but he still sounds so unsure. Probably because I’m naked, covered in blood with a dead body in front of me. A normal person would be running for the hills or calling the police. He’s probably already called the police. He’s probably from social services, come to take me into foster care, or jail.

“I did this...” My hands no longer look like something from a horror movie, normal blood covered nails, and smooth pale skin. “I- I don’t know how- I don’t understand any of it, but- I did this.”

“Not on purpose,” the man says quietly. “It was an accident.”

A soft material begins covering my shoulders and I grasp it firmly. A blanket. The stranger had put a blanket on me, covering me up so that I’m no longer naked.

“More like self-defense.” A chuckle escapes my lips, but it doesn’t sound like it belongs to me. My hands find the tile and push myself upwards and off the floor. “He was a bastard, but- He was my father.”

Finally, I turn to face the stranger in my house and notice that he’s tall, taller than I thought he would be. He nearly touches the doorway with his tousled brown hair, peppered with grey throughout. His white button up is tucked into his grey trousers and his sleeves are rolled up to show strong and hairy forearms. He looks like he’s pushing sixty, but he’s built like someone Noah’s age.

“Are you alright?” The man creeps forward, seemingly keeping his distance though. “Are you injured?”

“No.”

“Did he hurt you in any way?”

“N-” My voice falters, but I quickly take in a deep breath, clutching the blanket around me tighter. “No.”

The man looks unsure now as he no doubt takes in my bloodied state. My breath is uneven as I admit out loud, “None of the blood is mine.”

“Alright.” The man’s deep-set brown eyes meet mine and he gives me a small smile. “It’s amazing how much you resemble her, your mother. I had thought Adam was overexaggerating once again, but it’s true. You have her nose, her cheekbones, and even her eyes.”

I only stared at him with a guarded expression. The man clearly needs professional help. He’s talking to me as if he knows me when I know for a fact that we’ve never met before. I’ve just murdered my only family in the entire world and he’s asking me if I’m okay. He’s insane.

“Look man, I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about, but you need to get out of here.”

He steps closer with his large hands outstretched. “Rylan-”

“No!” I stand on my feet now. “You’ve seen what I’m capable of- I’ll kill you too! Leave!”

The man now quietly chuckles before resting his arms at his side now. “Rylan, we both know that you are no killer. You were defending yourself. No one will ever believe that you wished to murder this man.”

“Yeah, well that won’t stop them from locking me up for what I did.”

He moves closer towards me but passes me without a single motion of touching me. Now, he’s leaning over Noah’s body, what’s left of it, examining it closely. “I believe you’ll find that us Lycan’s follow a fairly different set of laws. They are not as harsh as human laws, but they are to be respected and followed just the same.”

“Lycan’s? What are you talking about? Look, you need to get out here or I’ll- I’ll-”

The man stands now before extending his hand to me, as if I didn’t just give him a super lame threat. He seems sure of himself, like he knows what he’s doing and what he’s talking about, even though he makes absolutely no sense.

As I grip his hand in a firm shake, he says, “Kerum Grey. Professor Kerum, actually. I’m the headmaster of Rienridge Academy.”

“The looney place everyone whispers about- Where the kids eat rabbits in the woods?”

Kerum laughs now, full belly with no hint of offence. “My goodness. Children sure do have a wild imagination. I can assure you that we do not eat raw rabbits, at least not while in our flesh forms. We do believe in unity through pack runs though, so your townspeople might have seen us from time to time during one of those activities. However, we are not dangerous, unless provoked.” He gives a slight grimace before glancing at Noah’s dead body on the tile. “As you may have learned firsthand, provoking a Lycan is not recommended.”

“What the heck is a Lycan!” My frustration is growing close to overdrive at this point. My skin feels hot and itchy. I want to run, run away from here, run away from the body and the smell of death. “You’re not making any sense and it’s really starting to tick me off, old man!”

“Perhaps calming down will prove beneficial to us both.” The man, Kerum, holds an arm out towards me, crooking his elbow for me to grab. “I do believe the sheriff is outside, waiting to speak with us about what’s happened and what’s to come. Shall we?”

Stepping back away from the stranger, my insides begin to burn. “What makes you think I’ll go anywhere with you? I don’t even know you!”

“Your only other option is that I, how is the term put, man-handle you all the way to the front door.” His blue eyes shine in the darkened room now as he offers his arm once more. “Not to mention that much like you, I am a Lycan. And Lycan’s are not to be provoked, remember?”

Staring between his arm and the bloodied carcass of what used to be my father, I’ve realized that I don’t have much of a choice at this point. I have to face whatever music will be playing when I leave this house. I’m either going to jail or the looney bin. Neither seem like all that great of an option, but they might just be better for me than the life I had been living with Noah.

Swallowing my words of potential cursing and hatefulness, I walk past his outstretched arm, walking towards the front door. No way am I touching him again.

“I need some pants first.”

After collecting everything I needed into my bag, I made my way back downstairs. My hands shake now as they grip the railing at the bottom of the stairs. I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me after leaving this house, but I do know that it won’t involve Noah. And a part of me feels a weight lifted at the thought and another part feels sick. No matter what happens, I have to deal with the consequences of my own actions.

Outside, Sheriff Goodey waits patiently with his arms crossed, a look of worry etched over his stoic features. Dark hair, graying in certain areas, gray eyes with a hint of blue when the police car lights hit them just right. He’s been here at my house more times than I care to admit. Our very first week here, a neighbor had called him, explaining to him that they witnessed Noah shoving me into the dirt after I came home too late. Of course, Noah explained everything away and it didn’t help their case any when I lied and said that I was fine.

“There was no meanness behind it, Officer. Dad was just playing around with me.”

That was the usual line of excuse that any law enforcement officer got when I was questioned. A deep part of me wanders now; What if I had just told the truth? Sure, Noah’s my dad- was my dad- but he was a piece of work. Fear, I guess. Fear of the unknown. The fear of what the foster system would be like. Noah had always said there was a big bad wolf around every corner, and he was the little red riding hood compared to them. I had believed him, but now it would seem that I’m the big bad wolf and he’s the helpless victim.

“Why Rylan, what big insanity you have.”

“The better to murder you with, my father.”

And this is how it starts. If they could hear my thoughts right now, I’d definitely be going to the looney bin.

“Rylan-” Sheriff Goodey reaches his hand out but stops himself. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I barely mumble.

Goodey gives me a once over before grunting out, “I should’ve locked that bastard up the minute he came back into town.” He sighs while running a hand through his hair. “No matter now, I guess.”

His words remind me of Noah mentioning that the town should be safe to move back to. So, we had lived here at some point, and I just don’t remember it. Or maybe he lived here before I was born.

The sheriff’s eyes look back behind me, widening a bit as he says, “Kerum. So, it’s true then.”

“I’m afraid so, Adam. I’ll need to take him with me.”

So, they know one another. Thomas did say that Sheriff Goodey wasn’t a fan of the looney school, but they seem to be standing each other just fine.

“Of course, I just-” I feel Sheriff Goodey’s hand tentatively touch my shoulder. “-I just want him to be safe for once. You’ll take good care of him, right?”

“I swear it.” Kerum moves now and ushers me away from the house. “He’ll be in good hands, and you may visit him on the weekends once he’s settled in.”

Sheriff Goodey’s hand tightens on my shoulder, not allowing me to leave with Kerum. I stop and stare up at him expectantly. His gray eyes cast a downward glance of nothing but uncertainty and fear. Whatever he’s worried about, it’s got me worried now.

“Just give me a minute with him,” he says in an almost pleading way and Kerum nods before walking off just a bit.

He then places himself on his knees, putting me just a couple inches taller than him now. “Rylan- If you ever need me, if you ever need anyone while you’re there- I’m here, okay?”

“Alright.”

Goodey has never been this close to me and I’m only just noticing the thickness in his eyebrows and the creases in his forehead. Thomas and I had separately pranked quite a few houses and shops over the last couple of months. I’m sure we’re responsible for a couple of his wrinkles.

“Did he hurt you?”

“My dad?” I can feel one of my brows quirk now at his question.

Goodey looks almost pained now before sighing out, “Yeah, him.”

He looks so honest, open, and trustworthy. But trusting people is dangerous. If Noah ever taught me anything it was to never trust someone, even when they seem like they’re only wanting to help. Their help could always cause more problems rather than solve the ones I already have.

“No, he didn’t. I’m fine.” The lie comes easy, like usual, but something feels off about it this time. I feel dirty for once, guilty. “Can I go now?”

Sheriff Goodey moves to the side, releasing my shoulder in the process. He’s lucky that he has a badge on, or I would’ve socked him right in the mouth. Anger in-check, I join this Kerum guy as he walks away from my house. That house hadn’t been much, but it was the first place that I actually felt comfortable at. I was getting better in school, growing closer to the kids on the playground, closer to Thomas.

It all seems pointless now. None of those kids would ever actually want to be friends with someone like me. A murder. A monster.

The academy was only a fifteen-minute walk from the edge of town. The woods had been terrifying, creepy shadows that felt like they were watching us as we walked and then there was a horrid screeching noise. Kerum had said it was a bird, but I had never heard one sound like that- like it was being murdered.

The creepily long winding road opened up to a wrought-iron gate. Just down the dirt path, a cobblestone building stands tall. Four twisting towers, two on the left side of the building and two on the right side. Each one tall and wide with metal roofing and ancient–looking windows littering them. The place has to be a mansion with how huge it is, but it looks outdated, as if it was around back during the Middle Ages.

“Welcome to Rienridge Academy, Rylan.” Kerum holds the gate open as we walk through it. “There are a few things you must know before entering the academy. Are you ready?”

I can only nod.

“You are a Lycan.” He ignores the glare I give him for using the stupid word that I’m still confused about. “For lack of a better word, a Lycan is much like what the world refers to as a werewolf. Your body can morph into something that no man could ever explain away with science, but they may try. And oh, how they have tried.” He has a ghost of a smile now on his lips before turning to face me. “Not many young Lycan’s such as yourself, a pup, have been discovered this far after their first change. You are the first to enter this academy as a new student who is over the age eleven.”

“E-Eleven?”

“Yes, eleven. Lycan's enter their first transition at the age of nine, but they become enrolled here at eleven.” He stares down at me for a moment, a thoughtful expression showing through his eyes only. “The year you should have been enrolled, yes.”

“Today was the...” I stare off at the tall building and my skin crawls now knowing it holds other kids that are just like me. “It was my first time going through whatever that was.”

“That’s not possible.” A hand touches my shoulder. “You may not remember any of the previous shifts, but I assure you that this morning was not your first time.”

Shrugging his touch away, my eyes are set hard now. This man doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through. I think I would’ve known had I changed into some giant monster and torn people apart.

“It was my first time this morning. I’ve never been like that before. I’ve never even been awake for my birthday’s until today.”

“What?” Two hands grip both of my upper arms, squeezing them roughly as I’m forced to look at his face. “Rylan, tell me now. Have you ever shifted before this morning? The truth, Rylan. This is very important.”

“I- I don’t know anymore! I thought this was the first time! Get off me!”

The shout turns into nothing more than a low and guttural growl, catching us both by surprise. Neither of us say anything else for a moment. Kerum seems to be collecting himself as he rubs the stubble lining his ticking jaw.

“I’m sorry, Rylan.” He now stands at a distance from me, not too close like before. “I hadn’t meant to scare you. I only needed to know the truth for the sake of the other students attending the academy.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Of course, you’re not.” His tone shows that he doesn’t believe me, and I don’t like it. “But if this truly was your first time shifting, then that would indicate you’ve had your true self suppressed for four years now. Something like that will no doubt have negative effects on both the body and the mind.”

“What- What kind of negative effects?”

“Walk with me.” He walks us up the dirt path and I follow. “When a Lycan is forced to part with their inner wolf, we experience a type of psychotic break. Our wolf is who we are, an extension of ourselves if you will. The only sure way to know what type of damage has been done to your psyche would be to have you shift without using emotions.”

“What do you mean without using emotions?”

“You see, when you’re close to shifting- Take just a few moments ago for example, you nearly shifted out of fear- anger. Shifting like that, in that mind state, is not ideal.” He sighs, a deep and thoughtful action. “If we were to train you on how to shift without an emotion like anger, we could very well understand how not shifting has affected you. Do you understand now?”

“Sort of.” Not at all. “When you say ‘we’…”

“The other professors and I.” Kerum briefly smiles, proudly, as he stares at the academy doors now. “I do believe that Professor Helman and Professor Dawes are most eager to meet you. And your godfather it would seem, is eager as well.”

“Godfather? W-What do you mean? My father is dead.”

Kerum stares down at me for a moment and I start to feel just a bit self-conscious. “A godfather is not the same thing as a parent. A godparent is someone who is appointed by your birth parents to have guardianship over you in their passing. Your mother left you in the care of Nicholas King, a dear friend of mine actually. He was very close with your parents when they were younger.”

I never knew anything about my mother. And Noah certainly never mentioned anything about a godfather. Maybe this is all just a big misunderstanding. Maybe they have the completely wrong kid.

“Is there any chance that, maybe, just maybe, you’ve got the wrong guy?”

“Rylan August Evans, the only child of Emelia Autumn Evans.” His eyes shine in the dark a bit, as if there are tears threatening to spill at just the mention of this woman’s name. “I am certain we have the right guy, Mister Evans.”

“Right.”

Staring at the tall building now, my nerves feel as though they’ve tightened significantly. Emelia Autumn Evans. I’ve never heard that name before, but a part of me feels as though it’s accurate. That the woman could actually be my mother. Noah never mentioned her, and he made it clear that asking would only lead to a punishment. Hearing someone say her name and telling me that I look like her, it creates a flutter feeling in my chest, as if my heart is struggling to beat like normal.

Being here will no doubt give me the chance to learn more about her, considering at least one person has already made it clear that they knew her. And Noah is no longer around to keep me from discovering the truth about her.