Shades of Grey

SHADOWS TRIBAL CAMP— MAY 1844

I spent the better part of that afternoon in the washroom of our chamber, disgorging the contents of my stomach. Forma and Freyja (who had taken it upon herself to visit me every two hours or so) assured me that this was normal, that my body just needed to grow accustomed to the change it now had the ability to make. I wasn’t so sure.

“Forma this is ridiculous,” I said, retching for the fifth time. I sat back and took a healthy gulp of water from the cup that Freyja offered to me.

“It will get better. I was bed ridden for three days after my first attempt at transformation,” Freyja replied, trying to be comforting.

The very thought of being bed-ridden made the nausea return. I retched once more and sat back against the wall trying to breathe.

“Freyja, would you mind leaving us alone for a while?” Forma prodded, sensing my irritation at her presence. “Grey needs to rest.”

“Of course! Would you like me to get you anything?” she offered.

“No, thank you.”

I flashed Freyja a smile, which was all I could do at the moment as she stood and left the room. I exhaled in relief.

“I need to go outside,” I said, using Forma’s shoulders as leverage to pull myself up.

“Alright. We’ll go for a walk,” Forma replied, supporting me around my waist.

“If Freyja offers to go…come up with something…” I muttered, taking one more gulp of water from the glass by the sink.

“Understood,” Forma laughed as she changed into a Lequus. I climbed atop her back and she raced smoothly through the wooden city to the staircase leading to the tree trunk entrance. She blasted right through it, barely stopping to let it open for her. I was grateful for her speed.

The late afternoon was beautiful, possibly even more so because I felt so terrible. Once Forma stepped into the crisp forest air, I felt a virtual Promethean spark shoot through my worn body. I stood still for a moment, revelling in the energising smells of the forest and the warming rays of the waning sun. Forma gave a roar of equal bliss and quickly changed into an eagle, flying high over the forest canopy, singing gaily.

“Grey, turn around and walk twenty paces forward,” Forma said a few seconds later.

“Why? I’m perfectly happy standing here in the sun.”

“And you’ll enjoy what is located twenty paces behind you equally as much!”

I rolled my eyes, turned around and entered the dense forest, stepping over roots and rocks for twenty paces until I broke through a thick tuft of bushes to reveal the most beautiful river I had seen in quite some time. The water was clear as glass and ran over the smoothest rocks I had ever seen in the riverbed beneath. Forma stood in the middle of it, completely soaked and completely happy. She splashed around in the waist-high water and laughed, fluttering her wings along the surface when she saw me standing on the edge.

“Come in, Grey! It feels wonderful!”

I looked down at my feet and stepped forward, gasping at the shock of the cold; having completely forgotten that I was still in the training uniform. After a few seconds of acclimation, the cold water felt incredible on my worn, overheated body. I instantly felt a sense of rejuvenation, as though Boann herself washed away the nausea with each pass of the current.

“Feel better?” Forma asked.

“Much,” I said, sinking slowly beneath the gentle current and feeling the waves wash over me. I opened my eyes and marvelled at the clarity of the water: every curve of every rock and the movements of every creature were visible to me. I found myself captivated by the underwater world before Forma swam in front of me in the playful form of an otter, startling me and causing me to gasp involuntarily.

I broke the surface and coughed violently while Forma floated gently around me in a circle.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did I frighten you?” she said playfully.

“No, no, I’ve just developed the ability to breathe underwater,” I snapped, running my fingers through my wet hair. “Thought I’d test it out.”

Forma rejoiced in short, high-pitched otter laughs. It would have been cute had I not been so irritated.

“Yes, death by drowning is always hilarious. I’m sure Hamlet had a right good laugh when Ophelia took her fateful swim,” I remarked adroitly, bringing my right hand quickly over the water and creating a wave that sent Forma downstream several feet where she crashed unexpectedly into a rock.

Now it was my turn to laugh and I did so, even as Forma changed into a very intimidating Aquataur and roared at me in discommodation.

“Oh come now,” I scolded. “It wasn’t that bad.”

She swiftly changed back into herself, glaring at me and rubbing her side.

“That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t just collide with a boulder.”

“No, I just inhaled water and nearly drowned,” I retorted with a Puckish grin.

Forma tightened her lips playfully and flew out of the water, landing in a clearing on the opposite side of the river.

“Come Grey, you need more practice with transformation,” she said, wringing out her hair.

I rolled my eyes.

“Forma, I just recovered from the last attempt. Can’t I have a little time to rest?”

“No. Your body needs as much practice as possible which means lots of nausea and lots of pain for you,” she retorted in waggish sadism.

I narrowed my eyes through a grin as I ascended the bank and joined her in the clearing.

“Let’s get started then,” I said, walking across the clearing to stand across from her.

“Alright, now, just relax your body…don’t think of anything…”

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing, slowing it down…loosening all my muscles…

I twitched as I felt the energy shift inside of me again.

“That’s it,” Forma encouraged as she saw it too. “Don’t fight it!”

I frowned, my eyes still closed, twitching several more times as the energy rose from my heart and began to spread to my limbs.

“Wow…Keep going! I can see it happening!”

I opened my eyes as my breathing became more and more laborious. Forma flinched briefly in surprise, but gave me a laugh of support.

“Yes! Let it go!”

I looked down at my body and saw the energy pulsating through me in time with my heartbeat, which had grown steadily louder with each minute. A searing pain then shot down my spine, sending me to the ground. I fell to my knees, gasping for larger gulps of air as my voice became dark and rough again.

“Don’t fight it!” Forma cried. “I know it is intimidating, but your body has the ability to do this now! You must let it do what it wants to!”

I looked up and tried to retort, but all that came out was a great roar that rustled the wildflowers and echoed through the forest. Forma’s eyes were wide.

“Brilliant! Keep going!”

I tried to stand, but I ended up roaring once more as a sudden, painful shift in my bones caused my right shoulder to jut out and enlarge suddenly.

“Yes! That’s it, Grey!”

I managed to bring my right leg to a standing position just as my left shoulder followed in the same manner. Forma laughed and cheered with overzealous excitement.

“Yes! You’re so close!”

I gave another roar as my neck and head suddenly grew. My legs buckled as they attempted to catch up to my upper body, growing and changing sporadically into hideously muscled creature legs. Before long, I stood taller than Pantagruel, at least thirty foot high. I looked down and gasped as I beheld a deformed, muscular caricature of myself, when my body suddenly snapped back to normal and I collapsed to the ground unconscious.