Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos

I run my fingers through my hair. "She just confessed to killing Camila in cold blood."

"Rueben, I love you, man, but sometimes you can be so stupid."

What is that supposed to mean? I take a second or two to think. Maybe more. Until it dawned on me that Olivia was trying to provoke my anger.

I let out a big sigh. "That makes two of us." I pull out a cigar. "How things change in a couple of hours."

"Levi was right, you know. We should start getting our knees ready."

I take a few puffs from my cigar. "But we still don't know for sure what happened."

"Even if she fucked the entire country out of her own volition or if she killed countless innocent people, I don't care. Not anymore."

I want to call out Tyson on his bullshit, but then I see how he looks at Olivia. "You love her."

Tyson takes his time thinking and replying. Meanwhile, he tucks Olivia into bed and sits back at his desk. "My mother changed her boyfriends more often than her socks. I never understood what love was because I never received a hug or a kind word while growing up. Then, your mother had enough grace to take me in after I ran away from home and found my way to...you guys. She was the first person to hug me. Did you know that Camila was the first to tell me, 'I love you.' It took me a while to understand what love means. Do you remember our first Christmas together?"

"Don't you?"

Tyson laughs. "It was the first time I received gifts or celebrated Christmas. It was the first time when I realized what a true family means. And I wanted that for myself. I wanted someone to love me and only me. Now I see how selfish I was." Even after so many years of living together, there are still new things that I'm learning about Tyson.

"You asked if I love Olivia. It took me a long time to realize that I do, but I don't know how to love her. What is true love? I don't have a fucking clue, but I'm determined to find out." For years, Tyson hated Olivia as much as I did, and now we are talking about love. "What changed?" I ask.

"Having her under the same roof as us. Seeing how happy Ansel and Jasper were around her. How even Mose started being attentive to her." He frowns. "I didn't like when Jasper fucked her in front of us, making her wince in pain. It felt like he was raping her, you know. And then what do I do? Shove a gun in her mouth and a bottle up her ass because I was enraged at the thought that she would dare leave with Levi! It took me seeing that video that Levi showed us to realize I was turning into one of those Dukes."

I let Tyson's words sink in as I think about my life.

Olivia whimpers in her sleep and Tyson goes to her. As soon as he holds her in his arms, she calms down.

I don't like the man I turned into, either. I let my hate turn me into a...monster. But how do I become human once more?

Hell, Camila would be so fucking disappointed with me. She would probably beat the living shit out of me for how I treated Olivia, regardless of what happened between them.

"I'm going to kill all those who harmed Olivia," Tyson says. "Do you think presenting her with their heads will be enough to forgive me?"

"Nah man, because then you'll have to chop off your head as well. And mine. Tyson?"

"Yeah?"

"I still can't accept that she is our soulmate."

Tyson sighs. "Olivia is right. You are a fucking coward."

Maybe.

I turn off the light before getting in bed, Olivia in the middle.

"This is awkward as fuck," Tyson grumbles.

"I wish I could sleep in my bed but Ansel trashed my entire room. He put horse dung all over my stuff."

Tyson chuckles bitterly. "And Jasper got rid of all my pets. Now I have to get new ones."

The conversation dies out and despite being tired, I can't sleep, as I keep thinking about shit. Olivia is right. I am a fucking coward. Not because I didn't kill her but because I'm afraid of living. Is she the same as me? Afraid of being alive? Otherwise, why would she be so adamant about me killing her?

When dawn comes, I'm still wide awake. When the hour for Ansel and I to go to work comes, I feel like I'm on autopilot. And it goes like that for a few days.

"Is she still not eating?" I ask Tyson one night.

Olivia has refused to get out of bed for the past three days. Or drink or eat. Or see Ansel, Mose, or Jasper. She is slowly killing herself and no one knows how to help her. Fuck. I don't know how to help her. But do I want to help her? "This has to end today," I say. "Tyson, go get the bathtub ready. Olivia is going to get cleaned and then she will join us for dinner."

Olivia looks at me with big, round eyes. "You said my name."

Her first reaction in days.

"I've been saying it for a few days now, but you haven't noticed it," I snort.

Tyson lets out a small sigh of relief. "Dinner sounds like a good idea," he says before leaving the office.

Since it will take a while for Tyson to prepare the bathtub, I sit next to Olivia on the sofa bed, trying to keep her company or something like that.

"Did you kill Camila?" For the first time in ages my tone is calm when asking this question.

Olivia sits on the sofa. "Will you avenge her if I said yes?"

My first instinct is to get angry but then I pay attention to how Olivia is answering. Not her words but her tone. There is remorse there, but what draws my attention is the raw pain that aches in my chest mingling with my own. My pain is but an echo of her own.

Maybe Tyson is right. What if she is our soulmate? Otherwise why have I been feeling all her emotions for the past few days?

Instead of replying to her, I pull her into my lap and press my lips to hers. She stiffens. I move my mouth on top of hers. Shit. I'm hooked.

"Tyson will give you their heads and I'll present you with their hearts," I say against her sweet mouth.