Sentilia

“Here we are!”

He got out of the car, came around and grabbed the handle of the passenger door. As the door opened, I was already talking under my breath: “What is with you guys trying to give me assistance, opening doors, picking me up; I can figure out how to open it, I just need to find the right button...” I rolled my eyes, and then started examining the car door; I had been pushing every button to find the one that opens it since it had stopped moving.

As his face changed, I realized I might have overreacted a little.

“Well...sorry. I was just trying to be a gentleman.” He looked muddled. And disappointed.

“Don’t apologize. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just don’t understand why you keep doing that.” I was taking in a softer tone now, but I regretted saying anything in the first place.

“Wait. What do you mean ‘guys picking you up’? Did Kleio pick you up?” he asked with a tone of mockery, but I could sense a hint of irritation.

“No! I mean...yes. Yes, Kleio picked me up when I got in, and he tried to pick me up when I got out of his car. It is surprisingly undermining.... HEY! What are you... put me down!” He had just scooped me up in his strong arms to get me out of the car, and into the house. He completely ignored my protest. “If Kleio does it, then I will too!” He laughed, teasing.

“What is with you two...?” I began to say, but the closeness, the smell of his intoxicating perfume, cut my breath off. My pulse seemed to accelerate at an impossible speed. My exasperation seemed to have entertained him. He was beaming.

“Elis...” I said in a much feebler voice. “Yes?” he said in a low deep voice, putting me down right passed the entrance door, but keeping me close, his arms still around me. He was looking into my eyes, and our faces were inches apart. I was breathing heavily and my heart was palpitating. I felt his breath of my face and my lips trembled lightly. I pushed myself away from him with a nervous faked chuckle; he let me go, his face still intense, and I caught myself on the small stand in the entrance. I took a deep breath to calm myself, but before I could say anything, my attention was redirected elsewhere. Everywhere.

The house was beautiful. I hadn’t noticed that it was so big from the outside. On the inside, there were barely a few rooms; it was an open area. All the furniture was made out of wood or glass; the high ceilings reflected the light of the setting sun, beaming through the back wall that was entirely made of glass. There was a flight of stairs in the middle of the space, and from what I could glimpse, the second story was as naturally lit as the first floor.

“So, do you like it? I built it,” he said. My mouth was opened and my eyes were wide, I looked at him and nodded. “I hoped you would,” he whispered. I was walking away from him, going into the living room, so I wasn’t sure if I had heard him right.

I sat down on a turquoise blue chair in front of the back wall, and watched the sun set for a few moments. Then I realized that I was still here, in my dream, and it was almost night. “Um...I know I’m...unexpected here, but...I don’t really have a place to stay for the night.” I didn’t exactly know when I would wake up, but just in case, I needed a place to sleep. Or whatever it was that you do when you’re already asleep. My brows furrowed.

“What exactly was your plan coming here Maxine. Why are you here?”

“I don’t even know where here is, Dr. Skythe.” It suddenly felt like more than just small talk.

He cleared his throat, straightened himself up — he was the doctor again — and stated that I would sleep in his house because he had to keep an eye on me. He said he’d be continuing his research and testing to know why these “slips” were happening. He babbled something about anemia and blood samples before saying: “Well, I don’t have a guest room here, so you can take my room, it has a double bed, and I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

I swung around to look at the couch: it was way too small for him. Plus, it looked hard and really uncomfortable. “Are you serious?” I asked. “I’ll take it, it’s fine. I’m not even supposed to be here. This couch is too small for you anyways.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” he answered, looking down. He turned towards the living room, but tilted his head back and added: “You know, the picking up, opening of doors, now this... if you didn’t know, it’s all to try and please you. Putting you first, so you see that you’re important; that’s the goal.”

Then I said to myself: “This is my dream, I can control it. I can control the people in my dreams, can’t I? This is a making of my own imagination.” I took a step towards him and hesitated: “Um... thanks,” he caught me staring at his perfect, soft lips, and I blushed, “You know, we could share the bed if you want.” I paused. His eyes widened. “I just think it would be ridiculous to waste the space if you’re going to sleep on that stiff-looking couch.” I blurted out the last part in one breath. I saw him turn bright red and I quickly added: “Of course, I’d stay on my side and you on yours. It’s no big deal: purely platonic. It’s just more practical.”

I didn’t think I could regret saying something so much in an imaginary world. Turns out I didn’t control anything or anyone.

“Max... I don’t think... I really think I should just stay downstairs.” He looked away and said: “Do you...um...want something to drink, or eat? You must be hungry.” He turned around and headed to the kitchen.

Wow, so this was what rejection felt like. I felt so embarrassed; I wanted to hide under the rug. I was just standing there, feeling like an idiot, so I found the bathroom and locked myself in. I was telling myself it wasn’t a big deal, but I couldn’t stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I was just realizing I had experienced love at first sight, like I’ve read in my books. Something I once thought was so childish. But I felt it now, and I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to assume that he would feel the same way. But maybe it was just that sharing the bed was too much of a big step. Maybe there was too much implied, maybe he thought I would expect something to happen. Maybe it was nothing and I was misinterpreting this.

I took a moment to compose myself; I had to come out of the bathroom eventually. I had to face him again even if I just wanted to disappear.

My hand hovered over the handle, I hesitated. I glanced to my left and saw my reflection in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I really saw myself.

My hand lifted to brush my rosy cheeks, and glided down to my full, peach lips. I had a perfectly symmetrical face, and I was beautiful. I truly felt it for the first time, and that realization gave me the last bit of confidence I needed to walk out and look at Elis again.

I turned the knob, pushed the door, and stepped out of the bathroom. He was sitting on the floor a few feet away. When I approached him he looked up, and I could see some sort of agony in his eyes. He got up and took a step closer to me, his face changing. I hoped he wouldn’t notice the faint redness in my eyes.

I didn’t move so he took another step; and another one, until he was a foot away from where I stood and I could smell his fresh perfume, mixed with the beautiful scent of his skin. He took my small hands in his, and lifted my chin up so I was staring straight into his eyes. I felt the floor quavering beneath me but I didn’t look down. My heart stopped for a moment, and raced back into my chest. I felt feeble, and honestly thought I was going to faint again. But I didn’t want to, so I focused all my energy on not waking up. I fought until my knees felt stable again, and I was melted into his eyes. This was the first time I was actually paying attention to his piercing eyes, and I was counting the colours in them when he whispered in a husky voice: “Maxine Costa, I do not want you to think I...”

Before he could finish, he was interrupted by the computer. We both jumped. K was at the door.

Elis muttered intelligibly and turned his back on me to face the front door. He pivoted to say: “This isn’t finished,” then turned back and said, “let him in.”

“Hey, Elis!” I recognized Kleio’s enthusiastic voice.

I rolled my eyes.

“Kleio, what the hell are you doing here?” Elis asked, under his breath.

“Woah! Calm down Doc! What? Was I interrupting something?” his voice took a sour tone. He peaked over Elis’s shoulder. “Oh, hey sweetie, I was just coming to check up on you. How are you doing?” He flashed his smile at Elis before winking at me, pushed passed Elis and came to stand in front of me. Where did his confidence come from? Was I too nice with him?

He suddenly lifted my chin — a little rougher than Elis had — and inspected my face. “Are you ok? Were you crying?” he whispered, his face full of concern. “Kleio,” I heard Elis call, I pulled my face away from his hand and answered: “I’m fine, I’m just tired.” I couldn’t believe he could see through me like that. I took back all negative thoughts that I had when I saw him walk through the door.

I’d had more than enough for one day though, and I didn’t want to deal with the two of them anymore, so I took a few steps back, gave them a half-hearted smile and turn to climb up the stairs.

I heard them angrily whispering again, then the door shut and Elis called out to me: “Yeah, I had a long day, I’m going to sleep too. If you need anything just wake me up. Oh and...you can borrow one of my t-shirts to sleep...if you want.” I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Sure, thanks. Goodnight.” I answered with a hollow pit in my stomach.

I entered his vast room. It looked cozier than the rest of the house. The huge bed was covered in white linen; the wooden floor was patched with cream-colored, long-furred carpets. There was a large plant in the corner of the room that added a little life to it. On the opposite corner, there was a small fire, in a white brick fireplace. Finally, a small lamp on the bedside table gave the room a dim light. I loved the whole room; it was romantic and simple.

I rummaged through his drawers, and managed to dig out a faded old black t-shirt with a blue chest pocket. It was made out of soft cotton and seemed ample enough to be comfortable, so I got undressed and pulled it on. I closed the lights and glided under the covers; his bed felt like a cloud, I was covered in a puffy down, and everything smelled like Elis’s delicious perfume. I didn’t feel tired, and I knew I wasn’t going to fall “asleep” so I laid my head on a pillow and waited to see what would happen now.

About hour later, I started to get cold. I sat up and was going to go turn the fireplace on, but when I turned towards it, I saw someone standing in the doorway.

I gasped, and I heard Elis’s voice: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, or creep you out or anything... Can I come in?”

“S...sure. I couldn’t sleep. I was going to...um...” I pointed towards the fireplace, but I couldn’t speak anymore. My heart was already racing because he had scared me, but then I realized he was in the bedroom, we were alone, and I was wearing nothing but a t-shirt on. My throat seem to tighten, making it hard to breathe.

He turned the fireplace on. There was a beat of silence, and it gave me the time I needed to regain full control of myself.

I pushed the covers away from me and got up. I was surprised by my sudden boost of confidence, but there was something about the ambiance—the silence, the tension, the fire throwing dancing light in the room, subtly lighting up his features in echo—that made me feel different than I’d ever felt before.

He walked towards me, and looked at me from head to toe. He exhaled and said: “Wow, I’ll never look at that shirt the same way again.” We both snickered and then his face became serious.

“I can’t keep myself away from you,” he whispered.

I placed my hands around his neck, and he pulled me closer. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. We stayed like that for a minute, until my heart rate was back to normal.

I glided my hand onto his neck, then into his hair. I felt him take a deep breath, and then he lifted my head back up straight, and slowly began to bring his face closer and closer to mine. So I guess I could control what happened in my dream after all.

I couldn’t focus enough this time, tough, not to faint.