Seer

Natalie’s

Natalie goggles at me when I finish speaking. “The presence of God?” she asks, dumbfounded. “You mean, like, they are actually feeling God? Is God hanging around here too?” She glances around the room as though expecting to see a deity. Her mind is spinning with the concept, and I must set her straight at once before she goes too far with this idea. I certainly don’t want her to be disappointed when she learns the truth.

“No, my darling, they are sensing only their Guardian. But since other humans don’t know about Guardians, they interpret the sensation in a way that seems more familiar to them, based on what they have been taught. That is why they think they are feeling the presence of God.”

I wait while Natalie relays all of this to Timothy. I am both eager to hear what they ask next, and afraid of what their reaction will be.

Timothy frowns in concentration, mulling this new information over in his unique mind. “Well,” he says, “it is a very interesting feeling, to be able to tell that Guardian is right there.” He pauses for a moment, consciously opening his mind again, to confirm that he can still sense Guardian. His control over his mind is increasing with practice, and he is quickly able to detect the sensation of his Guardian focusing on him. He continues, “I guess I can understand why someone would think it was God if they didn’t know about guardians.” He considers further, then adds, “Does anybody ever actually feel the presence of God? When they are praying or in church or whenever?”

And here it is. The thing I have been reluctant to share, and should have seen coming long ago when the children first started “experimenting” on me. “No, my dearest children, they do not ever feel God. They cannot.”

When I don’t go on, hesitating due to my fears of changing their world views forever, Timothy of course prompts me. “Why can’t they? Is it like feeling Guardian, where they have to learn the right way to do it, and it’s just super hard for humans to figure out?”

I look at Guardian, who indicates that I should proceed. Guardian does not seem as concerned as I am about the reaction the children will have, probably because Guardian has an unshakeable faith in Timothy’s ability to comprehend anything, and to benefit from all possible knowledge.

I look down, then back up at Natalie. “No, my dears, they cannot truly sense the presence of God, because there is no such thing. There is no entity such as what humans have traditionally understood as ‘God’.”

Natalie pauses for a moment before repeating this to Timothy. Both children are stunned into silence. They look at each other, Timothy making rare eye contact with Natalie, so great is his astonishment. Natalie then turns to me, opens her mouth as though to ask further questions, but remains silent as she cannot formulate her thoughts.

Timothy is quicker to recover, naturally. “Ok, let me get this straight. You’re saying there isn’t any such thing as God?”

“No, my dear, God only exists in the imagination of humans.” I look over at Guardian while Natalie repeats my words, and am confounded to see that he appears to feel some amusement in my discomfiture over relaying this serious information to the children. When did Guardian learn to find humor in situations where I see none?

Timothy is not taking notes as he usually does. The pencil and notebook lie forgotten in his hands. “So, God didn’t make Guardians? Like, you aren’t Guardian Angels working for him?”

“No, darlings. Guardians exist entirely independently from any God, although some human religions and fairy tales come close to describing Guardians. Hence the concept of Guardian Angels is familiar to many humans.”

Guardian is still bubbling over with amusement, unconcerned that Timothy will find this data any more difficult to assimilate than any of his prior learning. Perhaps it is because Timothy has never been indoctrinated into any religion, and therefore the concept of God is quite abstract to him. His parents do not attend church.

Nor do Natalie’s parents. However, when she has visited with her mother’s parents she has attended church with them many times over the years. Also, of course, she has never forgotten the painting of the Guardian Angel that she found so long ago in her grandmother’s house in Albuquerque. That moment had a huge impact on her development, and on the structure of her relationship with me. It has informed my manifested appearance, which I composed based on Natalie’s perception of the painting.

Timothy scrunches his face up, and literally scratches his head as he thinks about this new concept. “So, the whole idea of God is just made up? How?”

“You have both studied some mythology in your reading. You have even seen some movies and cartoons with such stories. For instance, the ancient Greeks worshiped an entire pantheon based on their concept of different Gods. As did the Norse people, and nearly every culture throughout history. Humans today view historical religions as mythology, nothing more than fairy tales. But at the time each society took their own religions just as seriously as people do today.”

Natalie has finally gotten over her initial shock and found her voice. “Yeah,” she says, contemplating, “we’ve both seen the movie Hercules. And you have that book of Greek mythology right here,” she adds, indicating Timothy’s bookshelf. She thinks of the film they watched earlier today, in which medieval religion played some part. “None of it was ever real? Not ever in history? People just made the whole thing up?”

“Yes, but remember that humans always have wished to find explanations for what they sense around themselves. You are both perfect examples of this human need for understanding, with your constant experimentation regarding the world. And when humans have occasionally felt that sensation which Timothy experienced this evening, when they could sense the presence of their Guardians, they wished to explain why. Thus were many world religions founded over the centuries.”

Natalie looks over at Timothy. “This is so crazy!” She is starting to adjust already to the concept that religion is a human invention. I should have listened to Guardian, and been more confident that these extraordinary children would be able to adapt to this information without experiencing any trauma as I had feared. “It’s all because some people can feel their Guardians?”

“Not precisely. Although there are people who have learned to sense their Guardians, and those people are often the ones who invent the stories of Gods to explain what they are feeling, the vast majority of people never experience that sensation. However, because humans long to understand their world, they often easily accept the stories of gods as legitimate explanations for natural phenomena. If there is a famine, or flood, or even good fortune, it is easy to imagine that these things are caused by a God.”

“But, I’m not sure that makes sense,” Timothy muses. “I mean, people get really really into religion. They build churches and write books and spend money on it. There’s lots of other things to think about too, so why would they care so much about it? Just because someone invented a story about God to explain what one person was feeling?”

“Sadly, the power of religion is another aspect of human nature. Although humans universally wish to understand the world, many humans also wish to exert control over others. And humans learned long ago that convincing others of the truth of a religion is an excellent mechanism to gain control, power, and riches.”

Natalie’s mind returns to a scene in today’s movie, in which the characters encounter a priest in a church. “Like the priest in the movie?”

Timothy confesses, “I wasn’t paying that much attention to the movie. What happened?”

Natalie explains, “When Jocelyn was in the church, the priest told her that she should wish she wasn’t pretty, so that she wouldn’t be bothered by men. Then later when a priest tried to make her be quiet in church while she was talking to William, she told him don’t shush me but not him. The priests kept trying to be in charge of her.”

I smile at Natalie. “You remember it all very clearly, darling. Your memory has always been remarkable. You are correct, these are examples of a member of a religious order attempting to use their position to exert control over others. History is full of stories of religious leaders gaining power because other people believe that God is speaking through them.”

“But,” Natalie concludes, “the whole time it isn’t God at all. It is just the priests wanting power for themselves.”

“In many cases, yes.”

The children lapse into silence for a few minutes, contemplating the deep subject that has been introduced. Their minds are both spinning. Guardian and I watch as they try to come to grips with what they have learned.

Suddenly Natalie gasps. “Wait a minute. On September 11, didn’t the people crash the planes because of religion? They killed all those people for something that wasn’t even real?” She is overcome with a growing sense of horror.

“Sadly, yes, they are believed to have been motivated in part by their religious beliefs. Again, history is full of examples of humans harming each other in the name of their religions.”

“And none of it is even real?” Natalie is suddenly filled with outrage and sorrow, appalled at the idea of people being harmed over an imaginary concept. “I mean, it’s awful enough that people ever hurt each other, but they do it sometimes because they believe that some fake God is telling them to?”

Now the trauma that I feared begins to manifest, as her eyes fill with tears while the realization of what she has learned washes over her. She begins to be overwhelmed with grief, thinking about not just the September 11 attacks, but other religious conflicts over the years, being caused by the human thirst for power and the misinterpretation of Guardians. It is all too horrible for her to accept. She is entirely overcome. She weeps silently, tears streaming down her face, struck to her core. This is the child who has never cried tears for herself. Her outburst is unprecedented. Never before have I seen her so emotionally affected. I helplessly attempt to comfort her, aggravated anew at my inability to achieve any physical contact.

Guardian, however, is determined to help, in a way that I would never have contemplated. Timothy has been attempting to keep his mind open throughout this afternoon, even while learning the weighty news we have been discussing. And Guardian uses that connection, directing much additional energy into his effort, to suggest that Timothy reach out to Natalie.

Timothy of course has seen Natalie’s distress, but his reactions to social situations are never typical. Also, he has never seen her cry before. This is shocking to him. She has often helped him when he was upset, especially when they were younger, but this outburst is a startling and even terrifying development to observe. He has frozen, seeing her tears, distressed on her behalf but unable to conceive of what he could do to help.

But then, the thin thread of contact that he has maintained with Guardian blossoms into a fuller manifestation, and I sense it when he feels the message Guardian is attempting to convey. He doesn’t exactly hear it, couldn’t exactly describe what he senses, but somehow he knows what Guardian is saying. “Go to her, Timothy, comfort her, hold her.”

And suddenly he understands what to do. He leans over, wraps his little arms around her, and presses her head down against his shoulder. This physical contact is something he would never before have been able to achieve, it would have caused intense sensory overload. He has not wished for this sort of physical connection since he was extremely young and enjoyed being held by his mother. He has always kept himself apart from others since that time. But now, with the support of Guardian, with the connection between them holding steady at a subliminal level, he finds it not only possible but acceptable. He holds his friend, comforting her.

I have witnessed a true miracle.