Second First Impressions: A Novel

Knowing the Parlonis are without an assistant, I go up in the hour before the Christmas party. I find keeping busy is the key to sanity these days. If I let myself stand still for one second, Teddy’s voice rings in my ear.

I called Always and Forever Tattoo Studio in Fairchild, and he’d answered the phone, sounding so unspeakably proud of himself that I had to hang up. He did it. I must love him a lot, because I’m so happy for him that I cry myself to sleep.

I find the front door of the Parloni town house unlocked, but it doesn’t affect me like it once might have. The sisters are dressed and ready, practicing their dance moves in their living room. Achingly slowly, they step out a box on the carpet. It’s the slowest waltz I’ve ever seen.

Each woman is dressed in a lovely prom gown. They are strappy affairs, and the vibrancy of the fabric is juxtaposed with their loose, wrinkled skin. Aggie looks unwell, barely moving her feet as Renata steps around her. I have a strange feeling I’m interrupting something I shouldn’t. What is this piece of bad history between them, connected to their prom, all those years ago?

“Your chaperone has arrived,” I call to them, breaking the moment.

“Good, you’re here. Come get dressed.” Renata points at a hanging garment bag with CHANEL printed across the front. “I went down to your thrift store again.”

I gape at her. “You found this at the thrift store?”

“Of course not,” Renata booms. “Boy, she’s gullible. No wonder Sylvia fleeced this place right under her nose.”

“Who told you that?”

“A little bird told me.”

Dammit, Melanie. It’s not right to gossip. I unzip the bag. Inside, it’s ivory feathers and satin edging, and a price tag I’m too afraid to flip over. “I don’t understand why you did this for me.”

“It’s a thank-you,” Aggie says, just as Renata says, “It’s a goodbye gift.”

“How did you know?” I have my resignation letter typed, printed, and signed. After the Christmas party, I’m going to send it to Rose Prescott and help her find a replacement. I’ve got somewhere I need to be, and some risks I need to take. “I can’t accept this dress.”

“You will take what I give you,” Renata snaps. “And you will say thank you every day until you die. Thank you, Renata Parloni, for changing my life. Honestly, she’s the most difficult girl I’ve ever met.”

Aggie pats Renata’s cheek. “She doesn’t understand. How could she? Just let her alone.”

I don’t know why she’s so annoyed. “I’ll borrow it. Thank you very much.” I think that’s the best compromise I can broker at this point.

“The salesgirl said you can’t sit down in it. You’ll bend the feathers if you do,” Renata yells as I go into the spare bedroom to strip down and carefully pull the magical dress down over my head. I would have loved for Teddy to have seen me in this, but when I walk into Always and Forever, I will be wearing my cool-girl cardigan. The one with foxes and mushrooms on it.

“I’ll zip you up,” Aggie says from the doorway.

“Are you unwell?”

“Just an acute lack of youth.” Even pulling the zip causes her to grunt. “There. You look how I feel on the inside.” A faint smile touches her mouth. “You know that you’ve done something extraordinary tonight, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Melanie did all the work.”

“You’ll be helping us set something right.” Aggie pulls my ponytail out from the neck of the dress with care. “Thank you for taking the dress. It means a lot to Ren that you did. We never had children. But you, dear Ruthie Maree, are the closest we ever got. You and Theodore. We’re going to leave the door unlocked tonight. In case he comes back.”

I exhale and nod. I pull my hair tie out and my hair tumbles around my shoulders. “Shall we go?”

“We’ll be along shortly. You go ahead.”

It’s eerie, walking through Providence in my miraculous swan princess dress. The air buzzes with the sound of electric mobility scooters. Weaving side to side, the residents dodge the tortoises. I open the rec center doors, switch on the sparkling lights and mirror ball, and the walls fracture into every color, spinning around us. My phone has a text from Mel: Running a bit late, just hit play on the playlist. I do, and the first song is an old one. I hear voices whoop in excitement.

My residents stream in, dressed to the nines. Some have dates. Some have brought their families. I get to hug each one hello, but also goodbye. When they find out I’m leaving, they’ll say it’s a shame. Once they find out I’m running away to try to recapture the heart of the tattooed boy who cleaned the gutters shirtless for the Parlonis, they’ll give me full endorsement.

“I have never in my life seen anything so beautiful,” Mrs. Whittaker tells me in the doorway. I can’t tell if she means the glittering room, or my dress. “If only I had a date. I bet you can’t tell looking at me, but once upon a time, I had plenty of options.”

“Three boyfriends at the same time. Yes, you told me. And I’m in awe. I’m hopefully about to get just one boyfriend, but he’s a special one.” Electric, dazzling, beautiful Theodore Prescott. Please hold on for me. I’ll be there soon.

It’s only when the room is mostly crowded that I notice the Parlonis are nowhere to be seen. I’m just walking to the door when they step in, and they are hand in hand. Now that I am in love, I understand everything.

The Parlonis are not sisters.

How have I never noticed the way they look at each other? The hands folded together, the times I’ve walked in to find them leaning together on the couch? They walk in together, backs remarkably straight, heads held high.

Renata looks around at the room, eyes defiant. I know now what their old wound was: they couldn’t go to the prom with each other, and it’s been carried around on their relationship like a scar.

If they were expecting a scene, they don’t get it. If they were expecting judgment or disgust, there is none. The Parlonis are glanced at and then forgotten in favor of the refreshments. I walk over to them as they halt underneath the mirror ball that has somehow transformed the entire world tonight.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Renata used the word gullible earlier to describe me and I feel it now. “Didn’t you trust me?”

“She finally gets it.” Renata smiles, and in this light she looks about twenty years old. “My beloved wins yet another bet.” She lifts Aggie’s hand to her mouth and kisses it. “I owe you twenty dollars.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask again.

Renata replies. “Your father is a reverend. At first we didn’t say, because I didn’t want to find out that you’re a jerk. And it’s just easier. People have assumed we’re sisters our whole lives. But not anymore.” Renata looks around the room. “This feels like what I thought it would. Even if I’m old.”

I smooth down a feather on my dress. “But you know I’m not a jerk. I really did think you were sisters. Did Teddy know?”

Aggie says, “He knew the first day.” Both smile. “We weren’t trying to keep a secret deliberately. We’ve just lived this way for a long time. It hasn’t been …” She can’t think of the word. I think it hasn’t been easy.

Renata gives me a look. “It’s our business. But times have changed. And your prom was just in time.”

“You should get married.” I hope I haven’t overstepped as they carefully exchange looks. Then they smile.

“You’re starting to get it,” Renata tells me. There’s approval in her eyes. “You’re starting to realize that life is too short. You’ve got to find that person you love.”

“I think I lost him.”

Aggie speaks. “Then find him.”

“I’m so glad she’s not a jerk,” Renata says as they walk to the dance floor. Her shawl slips from her shoulder and I see her tattoo: AGATHA FOREVER. It’s perfect.

Together, they step into an easy waltzing shuffle. Other couples join them, and soon the dance floor is a slow-motion, creaking sway. There are walking frames. Some dancers sit down periodically to rest. It’s the tamest, sweetest little party. I take the box of corsages that Melanie handmade and begin to tie them to frail wrists. Tonight, everyone feels twenty-five.

Tonight is a miracle.

I lean against the wall, just watching, and a woman walks in. She’s tall, powerful, and would be chosen first for a school sport.

“This is actually quite lovely,” Rose Prescott says as she sets down her overnight bag against the wall next to me. “You’ve got a nice taste level. I was just coming up to let you know my father is arriving in the morning. I wanted to go through the audit findings here, seeing as though he’s always going on about how important that is.” Rose isn’t one to say something like, thanks for the invitation.

“Melanie says that you’ll recommend that the site be developed once the tenancies expire.”

“It’s what we do. Surely you’ve realized it. Don’t be looking so accusing,” she adds defensively. “And don’t take your anger at my father’s son out on me.”

“Why don’t you ever call him your brother?”

“Because I don’t want a brother.”

“He loves you so much he’s got a rose tattooed on himself. But you’ve probably never spent enough time with him to notice it. He’s been heartbroken since he was a kid that you don’t want anything to do with him.”

Emotion flares in her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“Working here, I’ve realized that it doesn’t have to be. And that life goes by quick. One day you and I will look like them.” I nod at the crowd. “I think it’s time we both make peace with a few things.”

“Teddy said he’d be here, didn’t he,” Rose says like she’s making one last pitch to change my mind. “He promised you, I bet.”

No, he didn’t. I’d hoped. “He did. But if he has somewhere more important to be, I understand.” I see a tall man in the doorway and my heart leaps.

But then Rose says, “Oh, there’s my dad.”

Jerry Prescott walks up to us, pulling a carry-on suitcase. “I just got into town, thought I’d come and see what all the fuss is about. This is amazing.”

He turns around us, smiling at the slow-dancing seniors on the dance floor. His gaze does catch on the Parlonis and their romantic clinch, but if he’s surprised he recovers well. “I want to congratulate you on a fantastic year of hard work, Ruthie, despite everything that’s happened.”

“Don’t congratulate me too soon,” I reply glumly. “Rose has bad news.”

“Oh, yes. She briefed me quickly on that.” Jerry’s face grows serious. “Did she tell you that we never believed you were involved? The matter is now with law enforcement. Sylvia is disembarking in Noumea tomorrow morning, and she’s going to be met by police. It looks like she was embezzling from the previous owners of Providence, too. Since she’s been working here for over fifteen years, we’d say a loss of $400,000 is conservative. If only I’d taken a tour with you, like you offered, the day I arrived here, we might have picked it up sooner. Forty little town houses.”

Rose sighs like she’s beaten. “I already know what you’re going to say, so I’ll just agree and say that from now on, I will personally walk every site we ever buy.”

The mirror ball turns, my eyes are dazzled by a starburst, and when they readjust to the dark room, I see a new silhouette in the doorway. It’s another man I don’t recognize. He’s tall and dressed in a suit that looks like it was made for him. He’s got a sharp, edgy haircut, the sides shaved close to his head and some length on top, shining blue-black in the scattered disco ball lights.

It’s Teddy. He’s come back, and—

“He got a haircut.” Both Jerry and Rose gasp in unison.

Teddy spots us now and begins to walk over. The Parlonis see him and begin to make their way over to us, too.

“My, my, don’t you look sharp,” Jerry exclaims, clapping his son hard on the shoulder. “You wouldn’t be out of place in PDC corporate headquarters, would he, Rose?”

Teddy’s eyes are only on me. “I came back. I’m not too late, am I?”

I gesture around us. “I’d say you’ve got perfect timing, like always. Where’s your beautiful hair?” He’s so handsome and grown up, I stare at his polished leather shoes. It seems that Fairchild has changed him in a way I didn’t anticipate. Now, the half-full packing boxes in my living room are terrifying.

He steps to stand beside me, and the warmth of his palm on my shoulder is a relief. “I did what Dad said to do. I got a haircut. I’m here to tell you that you win. I’m ready to grow up and be what you want me to be. Add me to the payroll.” He’s not speaking to me. His eyes are only on Rose.

“Wait a minute,” Rose interrupts, but Jerry holds up a hand.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’ll do whatever business course you want me to do, then I’ll start work for PDC at the bottom of the ladder. In exchange, I want you to leave Providence how it is.”

“I’ve just completed an evaluation that shows this place isn’t a great deal for us,” Rose says. “Once we give Ruthie appropriate back pay, the position is even worse.”

I interrupt. “What back pay?”

“Sylvia has been paying you under the minimum wage for six years.” Rose explains it like I’m a tad simple. “Haven’t you ever wondered why you make so little?”

“But that’s because I have accommodation here.”

Rose sighs like, Oh Ruthie. “As part of my review, I also looked at your duties. You’re performing a role much higher than your duty statement. We’ll work out what all this means, but I’m sorry that you were taken advantage of. We’ll do what we can to make it right.” Rose looks at her father, who nods.

Teddy turns to her. “I’m sorry I exist. I mean it,” he says when she goes to argue. “Me and Mom ruined your life, and I’m really, really sorry. All I’ve ever wanted was to impress you. I don’t know if this will do it, but I’ve got to try, because I’ve tried everything else.”

Rose is turning red. I can’t tell if she’s angry or upset.

“This is quite a sacrifice, Teddy,” Jerry says. “What about your studio?”

“I’ll sell my share. If it’s what it takes to let this place survive, then it’ll be worth it. Look at them.” He encourages his father and sister to look around the room. “How can I let these people be uprooted from the last home they ever planned to have? All Ruthie has ever asked me to do is care about this place. Well, here I am, doing it.”

The Parlonis have completed their arduous trek across the room to us.

“What did we miss? Holy shit,” Renata splutters when she looks up at Teddy. “Vogue Italia, eat your heart out. Was he always that good-looking?”

I laugh. “Yes.”

Renata has her arm hooked into Aggie’s. “I’ve never been into men, so I’ll take your word for it. Where’s your hair, Theodore?”

“I donated it to someone who needs a wig more than you do.” He smiles at her patent disappointment. “I’m here to do the right thing for once. I’m making a deal.”

“Is this in regard to the future of Providence?” Aggie asks Jerry.

“Yes, ma’am. Nothing has been finalized, however,” he adds with a glance at Rose. “Please, just enjoy your lovely evening.”

Aggie won’t be treated like an old dear. “I hope you’ve conducted environmental impact assessments?”

Rose fields that. “Of course, that’s part of my evaluation.”

“And you know that this site is home to an endangered species of tortoise, and there’s been a care and rehabilitation program happening on-site for the last six years?” Aggie speaks calmly and deliberately and I see a glimpse of her as an attorney.

“What, the turtles around the place?” Rose scrunches her face in distaste, even as her mind pivots to a new position. “We’ll make sure that whatever work happens here, no animals will be impacted.”

“We need to go through the impact that any works will have on the golden bonnet tortoises. They’re listed as critically endangered and there’s more here than anywhere else on the planet. If you’d visited the site earlier and taken my tour, you’d know that,” I tell Rose quietly.

Rose is flustered. She looks at her brother like she’s having a bad dream. “This place means this much to you? You look like a goddamn lawyer or something, Teddy.”

“Not quite,” he replies, gesturing to the tattoos on his hands. “And yes. This place means this much to me, and Ruthie means the most.”

I put a hand on his sleeve. “I don’t want you to give up your studio for us.”

“If it’s what it takes. Well? You can start me at the bottom, as long as I can work out of this office.” He says this to Rose. “I’ve got a lot of experience with menial tasks and humiliating requests.”

“It’s true,” Renata says. “He barely complained.”

Rose’s face shows her struggle with various emotions, but then, with a look of resolve, she makes a decision. “All right, I’ll recommend that Providence remain as … is. On the other side of that hillside is a vacant field. Maybe it doesn’t have an endangered species. I think we should build affordable retirement housing, linking both sites. It’ll be the best of both worlds; something changing, something staying the same. It was my second recommendation in my report,” she adds. “The first one was to redevelop. But now that I’ve come here, I can see that it wouldn’t be right.”

Teddy nods. “I think that’s a good idea. This is a nice place to live, and it shouldn’t be exclusively for the insanely wealthy. I think you should also make sure that there’s a plan in place to get a bit of diversity. This place is a little …” He trails off, aware of the Parlonis’ stare.

“You can say it. This is where rich old white people come to die.” Renata cackles at her own joke, then sobers. “I think that’s a very good, mature suggestion to move us forward into the … what century is it? I don’t know. But I’m impressed with you. There is a brain in that handsome head.”

“And a big heart.” Aggie pats his chest.

“Great, so everything’s settled,” Teddy says, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s lost his life’s dream, to secure mine. I bet he feels how I did when my college fund was emptied. Like me, he’s planning on making the best of it. “Thank you, Rose. I promise I won’t let you down.”

“Ah, shit, Theodore,” Rose groans. “Why’d you have to do this?” When he doesn’t know what she means, she says, “You had to make a grand gesture. I’ve always thought you were the most self-centered person.”

“He absolutely is not,” Aggie defends. “We have employed in excess of one hundred young men. None of them are a patch on Theodore. I can assure you, no one cares more than he does.”

“I’m sorry,” Rose says to him unexpectedly. “I was horrible to you when we were kids.”

“And adults, by the sounds of it,” Renata adds.

Rose ignores that and says to Teddy, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was my fault,” Jerry says. “It was my fault, and I left you all to sort it out yourselves. I was just too busy.”

“You tried so hard to make me love you,” Rose says, and her composure breaks. Tears fill her eyes. “And I wanted to. You were the easy target for how miserable I was. How miserable I am,” Rose amends. “I’m sorry, Teddy. Ruthie said you have a rose tattoo.” Her voice breaks. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Of course you do. I couldn’t leave you out of the garden of sisters.” He’s so open and kind and that’s what completely breaks her. She steps into his arms. It’s the kind of hug that’s twenty years in the making. He makes eye contact with me over the top of her head, and I see the emotion in him.

“I’ve been the worst sister to you. It’s been really hard to resist you.”

“You held out so long I think you’re superhuman,” he agrees with a smile. “Hey. If you’re my sister, what does that make me?”

“Brother,” Rose says like it’s a weird word. She tries again and her voice is stronger. “Let’s be brother and sister from now on.”

He swirls her on the spot to the music. “Well, we’re going to be working together now, so we can even be friends.”

She shakes her head, and Jerry does too. “We’re not going to make you do that.”

“What?” It’s Teddy’s turn to be flustered. “But we just made a deal.”

“We saw the commitment and passion we’ve been hoping to see in you for years,” Jerry says. “But I’m not going to hold you to it. You’re a tattoo artist, not a property developer. I know it now.” It’s his turn to hug his son.

“Could I bother either of you to help me get a drink?” Renata says, her voice old and feeble. “Over at the refreshment table over there?”

“We’d appreciate it,” Aggie adds, and there’s no way Jerry and Rose can say no. The two old ladies smile at us over their shoulders as they are escorted away. And now Teddy and I are alone.

He touches his thumb under my chin. “I’ve never seen anyone this beautiful. This dress. You look like an angel.”

“And you look like a devil. A really hot devil. Your hair.” I raise up my hand and run it through the short cut. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“I hope it wasn’t what you loved best about me. What? You love me, don’t you?”

“What’s it like being this self-confident?” I lean into him and he wraps me carefully in a hug. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

“I know. I just needed to get myself sorted. I thought you’d understand.” Then he goes still. “But if I’m too late, and you continued on with the Sasaki Method— ”

“Relax. The Sasaki Method is a success, because I fell in love.” I tip my face up and I get the kiss I’ve ached for every minute of every day since he left. What a privilege, to be so young. I have my entire life to know him, to laugh at him, to let him care for me in his sweet, clumsy ways. I can teach him how to give, and he can urge me to take.

I can have this kiss for the rest of my life, if I’m really careful.

The music changes, he takes my hand in his and we walk to the dance floor. “Oh, look,” Teddy says to me, pointing discreetly. Renata is holding a square ring box behind her back. When they slowly move around, we see that Aggie has a ring box, too.

“It’s a race to propose.” He smiles. “Who will win, do you think?”

“I think they’ll call it a draw.” I’m smiling, too, when he kisses me again. And again. We only break apart when we hear someone clearing their throat.

It’s Mrs. Whittaker. She leans in and tells me with feeling, “Well done. Oh, hello dearie,” she says with her eyeline behind us. “What a fancy … costume.”

“I am only thirty minutes late.” It’s a breathless Melanie, dressed in a traditional Japanese yukata, teamed with an elaborate fifties beehive. She looks back at her watch. “Okay, more like forty-five minutes late. What the hell is going on here?” She’s noticed Rose and Jerry, mingling with the residents. She definitely notices Teddy’s hand on my waist. “I really didn’t think you’d show up.”

“I came back to rescue Ruthie. But I think the tortoises are going to rescue her, and this place. Their little way of saying thank you.”

“My Sasaki Method. What a waste of a brilliant concept.” She points at our joined hands. “Ruthie Midona, you wrote a list that would not describe Teddy in a million years.”

“Lists aren’t always right.” When I say that, they both make identical theatrical gasps.

“So you decided to charm her for good. All the cheese you can eat. I was all set to pick out a bridesmaid’s dress, and you had to just come along and ruin everything.” Melanie unknowingly says something very hurtful to him, but Teddy doesn’t flinch. Maybe one hug with his sister has balmed that wound.

He tells her, “Nothing’s ruined. Ruthie’s world is going to remain exactly the same.”

I have something to tell them. “I’m leaving Providence. You’ve both given me some really good advice. It’s time for me to see the world outside this place.”

“So you’re not planning on staying here until you die anymore?” Teddy asks with hope.

“No, I think I need to find something new for myself.” I think of my forum, my clothes, the tortoise-littered paths I’ve walked a thousand times. “It’s going to be scary, but I want to do it.”

We are all distracted by the scene unfolding on the dance floor: two elderly women, offering each other rings. The semicircle around them breaks into applause.

“We’ll help you,” Melanie says without thought. That’s the kind of friend she is. She walks toward the Parlonis and begins taking photos.

“And will you help me, too?” I ask Teddy. “I mean, I can probably do it by myself, but if you were there, I wouldn’t be so nervous when I go to the Reptile Zoo with my internship application.”

His smile is brilliant. “Yes, I am going to help. I will do everything for you. It’s my turn to give. So let me.” He cups my jaw in his warm, tattooed hands, and as his lips touch mine, the mirror ball glitters me blind. I’m dazzled, I know I am. And I don’t ever want it to end. And for a long time, it doesn’t.

In the lull of silence between songs, Melanie screams in horror: “Oh my God, Teddy got his hair cut.”