Sebastian The Traveler

The sun was shining in my eyes. I threw my pillow at the window, hoping it would move the curtain in such a way that would stop its attempt to wake me.

It didnt work.

I stared at the ceiling. Sebastian hadnt come last night. I was hurt and confused. After that one time he didnt show, he was always there from then on. Even the dream in the woods, he was there he told me, he just couldnt get to me.

He never left. He promised and he kept that promise. Until last night.

My cell phone dinged. I had a text. I decided to ignore it for now. I needed a shower, I felt gross. And disappointed?

I had the day off so I wasnt in a rush to get moving. But maybe getting ready would help take my mind of the abandonment I was feeling. I forced myself out of bed and into the shower.

***

I grabbed a poptart and sat down on the couch. Milo jumped on my lap. He pushed his head into my chest. Hard. He started meowing. Crying. Rubbing his face on me aggressively.

"Milo! Stop!" He had never acted like this before. He ran around the room. Crying. I was puzzled. What was wrong with him?

My phone dinged again, reminding me I still had not checked my messages.

I clicked it on. It was from Carolyn.

He's awake.

My heart skipped a beat.

He's awake.

I stared at the screen rereading the words over and over again. But it just wasnt setting in.

Sebastian.

Awake.

Was this really happening?

He's awake.

I felt excitement course through my body like a wave. I was going to see Real Sebastian!

I ran to my closet.

What do I wear?

I couldnt think.

Jeans. Obvioisly.

A tshirt? A nice top? Casual? Oh my God, why am I overthinking this? He knows me, I could wear whatever. He wouldnt care. And yet I felt as if I needed to look good, his real eyes would be on me now.

His eyes.

I felt sick.

***

It took me forever to decide on a top. Finally, I just grabbed a red short sleeve tee, nikes and jeans ripped at the knees. I wasnt going on a first date for Christ's sake, it didnt need to be this hard.

A quick check in the mirror and I was out the door, thankful I had gotten ready before I read the text.

The drive was painfully long. Longer than usual. What normally took me ten minutes had turned to thirty with traffic. Just my luck.

The elevator slowly climbed to the 5th floor. Was it usually that slow? I jumped up and down attempting to help it move faster. It didnt make a difference.

Finally at the 5th floor, I didnt wait for the elevator doors to fully open before I stepped out. I rounded the corner past the nurses desk and started to slow down as I reached his hall. I stopped before turning the corner.

I leaned against the wall and tried to breathe. My stomach was in knots. I was anxious. My nerves were on edge. I needed to calm down. I inhaled deeply a few times trying to get oxygen into my lungs.

I stood straight up, ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. This was it.

It was now or never.

I made the long trek down the hall to his room.

I practically bumped in to Carolyn as she was leaving.

"Avery! I'm so happy to see you!"

We hugged.

"I was just going to get Sebastian food. Everyone has left already so you should get some time alone before I returned."

I smiled "Thank you."

She hugged me again and walked away.

I took another deep breath and went through the door.

He was watching tv. He turned his head, eyes meeting mine, the same eyes that had looked at me every night for the last two months. But he appeared confused by my presence.

"Um, hi?" He spoke. It was the same voice I remembered from my dreams.

"Sebastian." I said breathlessly.

His eyes looked back and forth around the room. He raised his brows "Yeah?"

My heart sunk. I could feel it pounding in my head. My cheeks felt flushed.

He didnt remember me. He looked at me as if he had never seen me before a day in his life.

"You d-d-dont... remember me?"

His eyes were sad, he shook his head, "I'm sorry, I"--I waved my hand cutting him off. I wouldnt let him see me cry. However if I didnt leave now, he would.

I forced a reassuring smile, "You know what, its no problem, my mistake," And I quickly left.

Once in the safety of my car, I cried. Really cried. Like I had never cried before. My heart felt like it was literally breaking inside my chest.

He didnt know me.

I wasnt sure how I made it home. I didnt remember the trip. I could hardly see to drive, tears in my eyes.

Carolyn had called me. I let it go to voicemail as I was in no condition to talk. Especially, about her son.

I cried for days.

I called off work, I just didnt care. Nothing mattered to me anymore.

I spent all day in bed. The tears wouldnt stop. The pain in my chest was unbearable and it didnt let up.

I was experiencing my first heartbreak. Broken by the only man I ever loved. The only man I ever trusted with my life.

Sebastian broke my heart.