Say You Swear

Thanksgiving at my house has always been a big event. My aunt and uncle would come down from Alrick with our cousins, and Brady, Chase, and Cameron’s families would be there too, plus or minus a few additions they’d bring, depending on the year.

My dad would set up the garage, which served as nothing more than his man cave for him and the boys on a normal day. The wives took care of the indoor food while the men had contests on who could cook the best turkey. We weren’t allowed to know who made which one once it was plated but voted on our favorites at the end—Uncle Ian, Nate’s dad, won every year.

Pretty sure he’d wink at his wife to swing her vote when she served her plate.

It might be my favorite holiday, tradition-wise, so there’s a little sadness this year knowing our parents won’t be here… but we would never tell them that.

Their once-in-a-lifetime adventure ends just after the first of the year, when Brady’s dad has to report back to base, so there is always next time.

This year, though, we’re trying to ignore the difference by hosting our own at the beach house, and when we leave, we’re bringing my brother back with us.

“You didn’t get to come inside the place last time, huh?”

“Nope.” Noah reaches over the side of his truck for our bags. “You left me out on the sand.”

Spinning to face him, I lift a brow. “You shouldn’t have hit me in the head with that football.”

Noah drops our stuff, rushes over and wraps me up. He spins me around, planting a hard, quick kiss to my lips. “Best thing I ever did was miss that pass.”

“Mmm.” I peck at his lips. “And here I was thinking the best thing you ever did was toss me on the bed and—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

I whip around, my smile stretching at the sight of my brother. I kick my legs and Noah sets me on my feet. I rush Mason, throwing my arms around him, and he groans, his jaw clamping shut.

My hands fly away, my eyes wide. “Shit. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Come here.” His arms pull me in, a long exhale slipping from him. “I’m okay, baby sister. Promise.”

“Yeah?” I blink back my emotions.

“I was fucked off for a couple weeks,” he admits. “But I’m good now.”

“Thank god for that.”

I turn to find Payton leaning against the doorframe, her belly swollen and looking ready to pop.

“Oh my god,” I coo, rushing over. “Look at you.” I hug her, and when I look to her stomach, she giggles.

“Go ahead, feel me up.”

Grinning, I place my palms on her belly, feeling the firmness of the left side and gliding my palm right, where it smooths out again. I then move it back right. “Is this him?”

Payton nods. “He likes to squash my lungs.”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Mason steps up.

I cut him a curious glance. “Yeah, it is.”

“When are you due? I feel like you’ve been pregnant forever.”

“Next week. Your cousin and I just finished getting the nursery together. You’ll have to come see it.”

“Kenra?”

“No,” she sighs playfully. “Nate.”

A laugh flies from me, and she grins.

“Trust me, I was just as surprised while it was happening.”

“I bet.” I nod, turning to Noah as he steps up, taking Mason’s outstretched hand.

“Riley.” He raises a brow. “Looks like my sister’s still in one piece. This shit serious now, or what?” He frowns.

“It’s whatever she wants it to be.”

Mason’s lips curl up. “Good fucking answer, my man.” He chuckles, turning to Payton. “Payton, Noah, Noah, Payton.”

“Hi Payton.”

Her cheeks grow a little pink, and I hide my laugh.

“Hey.” She eyes him.

“Okay, intros are over. Inside. It’s getting cold as fuck out here.” He turns, slipping in front of me and we follow behind.

“Ari, did you know your brother is the bossiest person on the planet?” she calls out.

“Yeah, you get used to it.” I grin.

Mason groans, flipping me off over his head and I can’t help but smile. He’s feeling better.

Cameron runs around the corner, jump tackling me onto the couch, and Mason takes Noah into the kitchen, re-introducing him to the gang, in case his small stopover during the summer is out of their minds.

“Sara and Ian didn’t make it,” Cam tells me of my aunt and uncle. “Nate said his mom hurt her back when they took the quads out a couple days ago, so he lied and said they’d be out of town for Thanksgiving so that she wouldn’t feel bad and still travel while in pain.”

“Sounds like Nate. Why didn’t he tell me?”

“In case you blabbed about coming this way, I’d bet.”

My head jerks her way, and we laugh, because yeah. I might have done that on accident.

Payton pushes to her feet, only moments after sitting, and puts one hand on her lower back, the other lowering onto the table. Mason beelines her way, passing a water and pulling over the chair with cushions stacked inside it.

“I’m fine,” she tells him, but Mason being Mason, doesn’t move.

Payton lowers into the seat.

“He looks good.” Cam nods.

“Yeah. I think so too.”

“Think it has anything to do with the pregnant mama he’s hovering over?”

“Cameron. Stop.”

“I’m just saying,” she whispers. “He hasn’t left her side.”

“She’s about to pop. Her brother and Kenra probably asked for help.”

“True. I didn’t think about that.”

Piling into the kitchen, I hug everyone hello as Cameron goes over the tasks for tomorrow.

Everyone is assigned a job, and I flip the others off when I’m stuck with peeling potatoes.

“One day, I’m going to knock all your socks off with a Riley family recipe.”

Several eyes widen, teasing glints flicking along the others, and I stutter.

“I meant… I was only saying I can cook something he—” Grins pull along their faces, so I laugh. “Oh, fuck you guys.”

Noah squeezes my thigh under the table, but I don’t look at him.

I’ll blush like a mad man if I do, and he knows it.

“Well, we’ll see just how good the man’s family recipes are cause he’s on turkey.”

“What?!” Brady whips around, half a breadstick hanging from his mouth. “I wanted the turkey.”

“You got the ham,” Cam argues.

Brady nods and turns back to the open fridge.

We chat a little more, enjoying the fact that we have nowhere to be and no need to rush around.

A little while later, Mase takes the others home, since it’s dark out now and they didn’t want to walk the half mile in the cold with Payton.

Once Mase gets back, Brady looks around, realizing the third piece of their puzzle is missing. “Where’s Chase?”

“He went to bed an hour ago,” Mason tells them, pushing to his feet. “Speaking of bed. I’m beat.”

Everyone nods in agreement, and we make our way to our rooms, but not before Mason pins Noah with a glare. “You’re in the guest room, fucker.”

“That’s what he’s trying to do.” Brady rocks in his chair, eyeing us.

Noah simply laughs. “My bags are already in the extra room. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Um, it’s my house too, and so not up to them.”

With a smirk, Noah says, “Yeah, it is.”

I give him the evil eye and Mason pushes on my head, clamping a hand on Noah’s shoulder, as he repeats his earlier comment. “Good fucking answer.”

“Go to bed already,” I tease, relaxing into the space beside Noah.

Several of us settle into the living room for a movie and not an hour after we’ve split for bed, does Mason’s shouts wake up the entire house.

“Payton’s in labor, and she’s scared!”

Just like that, to the hospital we go.

“Does it always take this long to have a baby?” Cameron stands, stretching her neck.

“I don’t know.” I shrug, lifting my head off of Brady’s shoulder. “When’s the last time Parker came out with an update?”

“About an hour ago?”

“Here he comes now.” Nate nods his chin toward the double doors as they begin to open, Payton’s brother on the other side.

He shakes his head. “Nothing yet. They gave her something to speed things along, and she’s crying a bit now.” A pained expression blankets his face. “They wanted to check her so she kicked me out, but she wouldn’t let go of Kenra’s hand.”

I nod, rubbing my eyes.

“This baby is already stubborn and he ain’t even born.” Lolli grins.

Parker scoffs a laugh. “Right?”

Cam sits back down, knocking her knee into mine. “You heard from Noah?”

“Not since I sent him to the house. Is Trey there yet?”

She nods, showing me a picture he sent her of them sitting by our fire pit on the back patio.

I chuckle, shaking my head.

After the first eight hours, I sent Noah to the house. He tried to refuse, but I insisted. Especially since Trey was driving in alone. He needed someone there to welcome him and who better than his friend?

“Where’s Mason?” I look around.

“He was just here…”

“He snuck in the door when that doc walked out.” Chase looks up from his phone, his attention going right back. That’s about the most he’s said today.

Parker sighs, frowning. “Course he did. I’m gonna use the restroom and go back in.”

Five minutes later, when Parker’s headed back through the double doors, Mason comes bounding out from the other side.

“Baby’s coming!” he shouts, clapping his hands.

“What?!” Parker’s eyes widen, and he starts jogging down the hall as we all jump from our seats.

We crowd the doors, waiting for them to come back out with some news, and it’s not long before my cousin Kenra steps out with a smile. “It’s a boy!”

“Aww!” I fuss. “She was right.”

“Can we go in?” Cam darts forward.

“Yeah, but only two at a time.”

Me and Cam don’t bother looking to the others, but dash through the door and around the corner, jerking to a stop in front of her room.

Payton looks up.

“Hi.” We quietly enter, coming to her bedside, Mason and Parker standing just behind her.

The little cocoon in her arms is so tiny, and as I reach Payton’s side, his little face comes into view, a little beanie already on his head.

A little baby boy, so precious.

Payton is pale and tired, a mix of emotions written on her face, love being the most obvious.

“Does he have a name?” I whisper.

She nods, tears pooling in her eyes. “His name is Deaton.”

After his daddy, who he’ll never get the chance to meet.

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful boy.” I smile, running the tips of my fingers over his soft, little hand. He stirs, the sweetest little sounds slipping from him that melt my heart. “Happy Thanksgiving, Deaton.”

Exhausted, we pull ourselves out of Mason’s Tahoe and head up the deck to the front door.

“Guess it’s Door Dash for dinner?” Cam huffs.

“Are they even open on Turkey day?” Brady yawns.

“I don’t know. I’m fine with cereal at this point. I’m freaking starv—”

Stepping through the door, we’re hit with the most comforting of smells, a fresh fire burning and my grandma’s stuffing.

I rush into the kitchen, my stomach swirling as I hit the corner and come to a jerky stop.

The island is covered in Thanksgiving tradition, and my smile broadens.

Cameron comes around as fast I did, her chest bumping into my back, and she gasps. “Holy shit!”

The others file in around me, slipping forward and examining the dishes alongside me.

There’s mashed potatoes and gravy, yams, and green bean casserole. A glistening ham, covered in pineapple rings and a bowl of stuffing.

Noah pushes through the patio door then, and in his hands, there’s a turkey.

He freezes when he sees us, but a smile curves his lips a moment later, and he continues to the counter, setting the large platter down. “Hey.”

“Dude, Noah. Are you fucking serious?” Brady grins, sticking his finger in the side of the mashed potatoes, and getting swatted away by Cameron.

“Bro.” Mason steps toward him, clamping his hands. “Thank you, man. This looks fucking good.”

I curve around the island, the others still checking out the food, and step into Noah. “You made us Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Did you really think I’d leave you at the hospital just to come back here and rest?”

I pause. “Well, now that you mention it, that was a very unlike you thing to do.”

“You were excited for today, and I didn’t want you to miss it.” He turns me, hugging me to him from behind, and toward the food, the others already pulling plates and drinks out. “Some of this I’ve never made before. I hope it’s decent.”

“Google?”

Noah chuckles, pushing me forward. “Eat.”

We don’t argue.

We eat.

Noah had nothing to worry about, everything was amazing, and while I couldn’t possibly tell my mom, Noah’s mom’s yams’ recipe was to die for, the crusted marshmallows on top a dessert all their own.

Almost everyone goes back for seconds of something, and it’s not long after that, we’re stuffed and enjoying some mixed drinks by the fire.

I slip away for a moment alone, stepping down the patio and out into the sand.

Leaving my shoes behind, I smile at the sea, moving closer and closer until my feet are at the water’s edge. I dig my toes into the wet sand, tugging my sleeves over my hands as the wind picks up, whipping me in the face as if to welcome me back.

I walk a little farther down, until the dock comes into view, and standing right beside it, in the spot we once stood…

“Chase.”

I didn’t mean to speak his name aloud, but it slips from me anyway, and his attention snaps in my direction.

He doesn’t move, so I shift a little closer.

“Hey.”

He frowns at the ocean.

“Are you okay?” I wonder.

At first, he’s quiet, but then his head falls back on his shoulders a bit.

“No, actually,” he says into the air, a heavy sense of frustration in his tone. “I’m not.”

I wait, folding my arms into my chest.

“I thought you understood.” He takes a step toward me.

My head pulls back. “Understood what?”

“Me.” He jabs his finger into his chest, and I realize he’s buzzed. Maybe even drunk. “I thought you understood me. I thought you got it.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“That’s the problem.” He bends, stressing every word, nearly right in front of me now. “How did this happen? How can you not see?”

“See what, Chase. You’re not making any sense. What am I supposed to see—”

“That I want you!” He cuts me off with a shout.

Every part of me stiffens, but slowly, I shake my head.

“Yes, Arianna.” His brows jump. “I want you.”

Oh my god.

My chest caves in, and I turn away, but he grips my arms, twisting me back. “Chase—”

“I want you,” he hisses, his entire being softening in the next breath. He whispers, “I want you…”

My teeth clench, my mind spinning. “Please don’t say that.”

“Tell me you want me too. Tell me you didn’t give up on me.”

“Chase.” My voice is a broken murmur, attempting to tug free. “Let go.”

But he only shakes his head, pushing closer. “Ari, look at me. Listen to me.”

“I’m going to need you to take your hand off her.” Noah’s voice breaks through the night.

Chase instantly flushes red, anger slipping over him as his eyes point past my shoulder.

Calm as ever, and with his hands pressed into his jean pockets, Noah slowly steps up, his eyes on Chase. “You should go.”

“You should fucking go,” Chase spits back.

My pulse pounds out of control as I look between the two.

“You’re drunk,” Noah tells him.

“So?!” Chase throws his hands out. “She safe with me regardless. She knows that.”

“You should sober up, try again tomorrow.” Noah’s voice is void of emotion.

My brows crash and I whip around to face Noah, but Chase is still holding onto my arm.

Chase scoffs. “I’d never hurt her.”

Noah stares him in the eye. “You already did.”

My spine stiffens, and Chase blanches, releasing me as he stumbles back a step, shock drawing up his features.

“You told him.” He gapes at me. “You told this fucking stranger?”

My chin lowers with guilt, but I force my eyes not to fall.

“That was for us! That was ours!” He shakes his head in disgust, then jerks around and staggers off.

“Chase!” My body aches. “Wait, I—” I jerk forward, but freeze mid-step, whipping around to Noah. “Noah, I just…”

“It’s okay.” His face is blank as he nods. “Go after him.” His tone lowers. “I know you want to.”

“It’s not like that,” I swear, my throat clogging.

He steps to me, cupping my face as he presses his lips to my cheek. Pulling back, he looks me in the eye. “Isn’t it?”

I shake my head. “Noah—”

“Last time I’m going to say it… go.”

“I don’t want you to misunderstand. I—”

“Juliet,” he warns.

Clenching my teeth until they hurt, I bite back tears, then turn and chase after Chase.

It takes a few minutes, but I spot him about fifty yards in the opposite direction, head dropped in his hands, sitting on a boulder.

“What the hell was that?!”

His jerks upright, glaring past me, and once he realizes I’m alone, his eyes come back to mine. Something flickers across his face, but he only stares at me.

“Chase,” I snap, darting forward. “You wanted to talk, fine, here I am. Talk.”

“I’m sick of this shit.” He gets right to it.

“Sick of what?”

“Of him. You. All of it!”

“Wha—” I throw my hands out confused. “What do you want me to do, Chase? Hide away?”

“No—”

“Let you enjoy the life that I belong in just as much as you do so that you feel better—”

“Ari, that’s not—”

“Because I did that already and you know what? It sucked! I missed out on so much, and I’m not going to do that anymore so you can stop trying to make me feel guilty for choosing to be happy.”

“I want you to choose me!” he screams.

My words evaporate, my body turning to stone on the spot.

His eyes soften, and he comes closer. “I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me.”

My insides swirl, tighten and pull. “Don’t do this.”

“I want you to want me again.”

“Chase.” Everything aches.

“I want you to look at me like you used to.”

“Stop.”

“I want you to pick me,” he whispers, reaching toward my face, but I tip my head, avoiding his touch. “Arianna…”

I shake my head, a nauseating feeling fighting its way through me, but he’s right there.

And then his lips are on mine, pressing, stealing.

Begging.

Pick me…

Stunned, I stand frozen, but my mind shakes me free, screaming no.

Hell no.

That this is wrong.

My hands come up, and I shove him away.

“You… are an asshole.” My voice shakes, tears instantly pouring down my cheeks. “Why would you do that?”

His features pull, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

“I told you I’m with someone, that I’m with Noah, and now you do this?” My words crack.

Chase’s spine straightens. “What am I supposed to do when I feel you slipping away from me.”

“Oh my god.” I swallow beyond the knot in my throat, but all it does is rise again. “I can’t believe you right now. How can you be so selfish?”

Anxious, he reaches for me. “Ari.”

“Don’t.” I jerk back. “For months I sat around wishing you’d show up at my door, knowing in the back of my mind you never would, so don’t stand here and say you felt me slipping away when I was right in front of you for months, years even if you really think about it. You just didn’t see it.”

“I saw you.” He shakes his head, brows furrowed. “Ari, I see you.”

I clench my jaw, anger slipping over the sadness and burying it.

“Yeah, well, it’s too late.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Yeah, you do.” I swallow, taking backward steps. “You wouldn’t have kissed me if you didn’t.”

The torment of standing before him is too much, so I walk away.

“I see you, Arianna.” His repeated words are defeated, broken.

While my feet pause in the sand, I don’t look at him, but stare straight ahead at nothing.

“I don’t want to be seen anymore, Chase.” Emotion fights its way up my throat, but I push it down. “I want to be loved.”

Slowly, I begin walking again, tension winding around my muscles with each step, but thankfully, Chase says not a word, and he doesn’t try to follow.

I want to fall to the sand and cry, to scream into the night around me and beg for understanding I’ll never find and that I’m unsure I even want. I don’t do any of those things, though.

I head back to the house, my lungs shriveling when I find Noah sitting on the last step.

He looks up then, and as slow as ever, pushes to his feet, the lanyard his keys are clipped to hanging from his right pocket.

Panic whirls through me, but my feet don’t move.

I shake my head, tears pricking at the back of my eyes, and he tips his head in encouragement.

“He kissed me.” Guilt burns through my veins, and my hand presses against my stomach.

His jaw flexes, but his tone is soft. “And?”

“I didn’t kiss him back. I pushed him away.”

He nods again, dropping his eyes to the sand where he stands, and when they come back up, the uncertainty within them is almost debilitating.

He comes to me, the pads of his thumbs brushing under my eyes, wiping the tears I didn’t realize were falling.

“I pushed him away,” I repeat desperately.

“I know.” He presses his mouth to my forehead, speaking against it. “I know you did.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I pull back, forcing him to look at me. “No. It’s not. Tell me.”

“Come on, Juliet,” he murmurs, the ache in his tone crushing my soul. “I can’t compete here, not when everything you ever wanted is in reach now, just waiting for you to take it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Are you sure?”

My lips clamp shut, but I nod, and all that comes out is his name.

“It’s okay,” he promises.

“No, it’s not.” I take Noah’s hands, pulling them into my chest. “It’s not. He doesn’t get to do this to us.” I shake my head, breathing him in. “I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have gone after him. I should have come back inside with you. I should have left it alone.”

A shadow falls over us, and he strokes my cheek. “Some conversations have to be had. Even if they’re tough.”

“I know.” I lower my forehead to his. “But I don’t want any part of anything that could hurt this.” My nose begins to tingle. “Noah, I want this. I want us.”

“Baby.” His hands frame my face, his palms shaking.

“I want you. Only you.”

His lips throb against mine, his eyes closing, only to open, satin blue piercing mine as he whispers, “Say you swear.”

My chuckle is more of a cry, and I smash my lips to his, my emotions whirling.

He kisses me back, the sweep of his tongue against mine serving as a promise.

An unspoken whisper from his heart to mine.

A whisper I’m ready to answer with one of my own.

“I swear.”