Chapter 78
Chapter Seventy-Eight: Sleeping with Tillie
Jason
I didn't deserve her. I had fucked up and I knew it.
Maybe that was why the goddess had not given me a mate sooner? She must have known that I was a monster.
I wasn't deserving of someone soft and sweet like Tillie. I had hurt her. I had pushed her too far.
Even when I had put her through too much, she still held her hand out for me. Letting me slip into the bed behind her. I hadn't wanted to touch her, afraid that I would hurt her again. But she had reached out. Taking my hand in her much smaller one and pulling me closer to her, Ryan, and Travis so that I wasn't alone.
Now she was sleeping peacefully between the three of us. Holding my hand, her body pressed into Ryan's side. Travis' hand rested on her side. Each of us were connected through her. It soothed my wolf to be like this with all of them. We were a family and I just hoped that I would be able to make it up to her.
That tomorrow, she would still want to be around me. Still want to give herself to me.
She let out a sleepy little groan, moving between us and I couldn't help but smile. She settled back into place, her breathing evening out. Relaxing me, but there was no way that I was going to be able to fall asleep.
Was
Thad hurt my mate.
"Stop it." Ryan said, letting out a long sigh. He looked over the top of Tillie's messy curls at me. "I can feel you brooding."
"You can't feel me brooding and I'm not doing anything." I said, letting out a sigh of my own.
"You are. You're beating yourself up." Ryan whispered. "You don't need to be doing that. We should have talked to her before we started. We should have laid out some ground rules and boundaries. We didn't We, Jason. It wasn't just you."
I knew that he was right, that didn't make his words any easier to hear. There were so many things that we should have done. We should have talked about this before. I should have asked her to give me a safe word instead of just telling her to let me know when it was too much.
She had told me, but I hadn't realized. Hadn't really heard.
"Go to sleep." Travis mumbled from behind Ryan. "We can do the touchy-feely talking thing in the morn ing after we've all slept. Tillie was probably exhausted.
"You're right. Her ex did break up with her tonight, she got mated to three wolves, and she learned about shifters." Ryan said, and Travis let out a growl of frustration, but Ryan ignored him and kept talking. "That's got to be a lot to process."
Thad forgotten about her ex-boyfriend. That was going to be something I needed to talk to her about before she found it out on her own.
"Funny about that. He's mated to Nicole." I said, dragging my hand over my face to try to ease the ache that was building behind my eyes. I moved closer to Tillie so that her back was pressed against my chest. The warmth of her skin soaked through the t-shirt that she was wearing and I closed my eyes.
"Seriously?" Travis asked.
"As a heart attack. She brought him for me to meet tonight. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, he just got sucked in with that mate pull."
"Nicole will probably be keeping him busy, that temper of hers." Travis chuckled, "I guess being with Tillie was a way for the goddess to get him prepped for your sister."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and he looked over Ryan's shoulder at me, his green eyes sparkling.
"Our sweet mate is a feisty one. Nicole might be just what he needs."
"Do we need to be worried about him not being over Tillie?" Ryan asked.
"I don't think so. He threatened me, but it wasn't like he was trying to scare me off. More like a friendly warning." I said, closing my eyes, trying to will my body to relax. I couldn't seem to let go of the worry that was building inside of me. The worry that I had messed things up with my mate.
The worry that it would spill over to Ryan and Travis.
With a loud groan, Travis rolled off the bed. He walked around the bed, making his way to the bath room.
1
"What are you doing?" I asked, opening my eyes to look at him.
"Well, if we're not going to sleep, then I'm going to take a shower." He looked over at us, his hand mov ing over his chest. The thin metal rings in his nipples caught the light, a smirk played on his lips. "You're both welcome to join me.
I shook my head, I just wanted to stay here with Tillie. To let her presence soothe my wolf.
"No, not you sir. Then how about you, Ryan?" He asked and Ryan's blue eyes met mine. "Or should I say daddy?"
I could tell that he wanted to go with him but he was worried about me.
"Ryan, go with him." It wasn't an order, just me simply telling him that he could. "Tillie and I will be okay."
"You sure?" His voice was soft and I could understand why he was worried. She was out though and I was too stressed to do anything, even if she were awake. I didn't trust myself right now. Maybe later, after Tillie and I had talked, we could try again. For now, though, I needed to take things slow. She was my mate and she was worth it. Worth getting to know, worth learning what she liked. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Good, I'll get the water ready." Travis said, leaving us alone as he walked into the bathroom.
Ryan unwrapped his body from around hers and Tillie moved closer to me. Snuggling her body close to mine.
Standing from the bed, Ryan shot me a lopsided grin. 'Thanks, man.”
"No problem. So you and Travis, huh?" I asked, my lips twitching.
The tops of Ryan's cheeks heated up and he looked down at the floor. "Yeah, me and uh, Travis." He answered, dragging his fingers through his long black streaked hair. "I never thought I would say that." "I never thought I would see it, but I mean. I did." I grinned. "I'm happy for you guys."
Ryan looked up at me. "Thanks, alpha."
"None of that in here. Ryan, we share a mate. I think you can use my name." I said, knowing that if he kept calling me that, it was going to get old real fast.
His lips twitched and he looked at me, dimples flashing in his cheeks. "I mean, I could always call you sir..." He teased me and I shook my head. Waving him off towards the bathroom.
WS
The water had turned on and I knew that Travis was getting things ready for them.
"Okay, I'm going." He said and I closed my eyes. Listening to his soft footfalls as he made his way to the bathroom.
!!
I could hear the low hum of their voices as the door closed behind him with a soft snick.
Despite what had happened, my beta was happy.
It was only a matter of time before he and Ryan claimed each other. I doubted that the two would even make it out of the shower without having left marks on the other. I wondered how that would change things for the two of them. If it would change this for us.
I tried not to think about it too much. Instead, I focused on the way that Tillie felt in my arms. How her heartbeat was a steady rhythm that comforted both me and my beast. Tomorrow, I would make things right with her.