Sanctuary's Fiend

I walked along the sidewalk, kicking at the ground as I went. I was feeling the thirst again. Maybe that happened in high-stress situations. Like when the love of your life’s dad tells you he’s going to shoot you the next time he sees you. That seems pretty stressy. I decided that I’d pick up a cup of the next best thing to blood. Coffee. Right? Adults love it, so I should too. Okay, maybe it would be an iced frappé. I’d ease myself gently into the lifestyle of bitterness.

The nearest The Grind was close to the hospital, and I still had time before I needed to meet Johnny. It was just another block, and it was another lovely day. The sun was on the way down, the carefully cultivated trees and flower planters were out in full force, and I was about to have a nice refreshing drink.

Now if I could just figure out how to convince Mr. Anderton that I wasn’t as dangerous as he thought, then I’d be all set! I mean, I was as dangerous as he thought, because he seemed to know more than me. At least until that Ms. Raich turned up. But I wasn’t that dangerous to him. Or Rick! Or any human, I hoped. I just had to learn to control myself. Discipline and determination. That was all I needed.

I pushed open the door and the air conditioning hit me in the face while the smell of coffee assaulted my senses. Every The Grind was the same. There were lights hanging at random heights from the ceiling, providing enough illumination for me, but I had no idea how anyone that wasn’t a Draugr could see in these places at night. During the day, the giant window that ran all the way round the circular building blinded you if you sat there at the wrong time. The square counter housed the laid-back staff in the middle of the coffee house, and there was a trap door in the floor for them to move stock. And the floor, unlike the modern looking, windowed walls, was wooden. And just like in every Grind, the floor creaked as anyone entered. It only happened at the door, nowhere else on the floor. As the squeak of floorboards cried out, one of the baristas threw me a wave and a cheery, ‘How’s it grinding today?’ without breaking his milk fluffing routine.

I joined the queue, which also seemed like a carbon copy of every other The Grind. The businessman that had just taken off his tie after work. The two girls who hadn’t seen each other for a week so were catching up on the latest gossip. The three guys that couldn’t come as only two because they thought that was like a man date or something, and they’d only order the manliest of drinks, just so no one doubted how straight they were. And at least three people scattered around with a minimum of three Apple devices splayed out in front of them.

I was in my own little world when it was finally my time to order. I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to order! “Coffee please.”

The guy behind the counter laughed. “Good one.”

I wished I had been joking. “Umm, can I get a… coffee that is cold and kind of sweet.”

“I gotcha. You want The Grind special, an IV of triple shot soy cinnamon frappé, with a long shot of mocha, right?”

I nodded, having no idea what I just agreed to. He gave me a wink and a thumbs up and got to work.

As I prepared to hang around for the twenty minutes I assumed it would take to make that order, I took a closer look at the guys. Apparently they’d managed to push past their fear of looking like they were on a man date, as two of them had left. The remaining guy was sat on his own, legs spread wide, arms out as he leaned back against one of the long tables, taking up three seats instead of the socially approved one.

His sports jacket had my school’s colors, the blue, yellow, and white, noticeable anywhere. I finally stopped looking at how annoyed he made me just with his posture, and realized who it was. Chad.

I remembered hearing the pain in Bhav’s voice at the inevitability of people like Chad. And seeing Peter’s broken nose from the other end of the corridor. But I could do something about this. I was strong now. After this I was going out to try and kill a ‘Fiend’ as Mr. Anderton called it. Chad would be nothing to me. Just a bug beneath my foot. If I was wearing shoes, obviously, otherwise it would feel weird.

I walked over to him. As he saw me coming, his gaze ran over my body, judging me, and fell away, uninterested.

I was standing right in front of him and he didn’t even register me. All right, Rel, do this properly! I pulled my shoulders back, and lifted my chin. I planted my feet squarely, and put my hands on my hips.

“Chad, we need to talk.”

After a few seconds he managed to pull his gaze away from whatever he had been looking at. His blonde hair dropped into his eyes, and he shook his head to get it out. “I know you?”

“We go to school together.”

“Lot of people at school.”

Hang in there, Rel. “Then no, you don’t know me.”

“Cool. Sup?”

“You hurt my friends.”

He scratched his chin and leaned back so far I thought he’d fall over. “Who?”

“Are you really saying that you hurt so many people that you can’t remember who?”

He shrugged.

“Peter and Bhav.”

His shoulders jerked and he smiled. Like a laugh, but no noise came out. “Oh yeah. And?”

I didn’t even know where to go from here. “Do you not… care? At all?”

“Nah.” He went back to looking out the window.

This son of a… he was so arrogant! “Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you. You hurt my friends!”

His head snapped back to me, and although he stared at me, it was like he wasn’t looking at anything. I suddenly felt tired and drained. I really needed that coffee.

“Well, answer me!”

“Yes. What do you want to know?”

That was a sudden attitude change, but okay, good. “Why did you hurt my friends?”

“Dunno. Because they’re different.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“It makes it easy. Anything different is scary, and making others join in against someone I can tell them is different is easy. And then it makes me feel better.”

Umm… huh? I took a step back, shocked at how self-aware he was. And more shocked that he’d admit it to me. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you told me to.”

I felt something pulling on me. A tug. In my head. As soon as I noticed it, it was gone. Chad shook his head, and his eyes focused again. He looked at me suspiciously.

“Hey, why are you still here?”

“Because we were talking.”

“We’re done now.” He shooed me away with a lazy hand and looked away again. “See ya, loser.”

“What?” This guy was just so… grr! “Don’t be so rude!”

My head jerked as I felt the tug in my mind again. I’d felt the opposite before. Where Johnny’s glamor had been a wave hitting me, this was a wave pulling me under, sucking me down into depths that I could get lost in. I knew the pull was Chad’s mind, and if I gave in, I wasn’t sure I’d still be me. I snapped out of it. I had swayed and almost fell over, but I caught myself. I focused on my body, not my mind, and pulled my shoulders back again, and planted my feet firmly.

“You hurt my friends,” I continued. “Say sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, but he was devoid of emotion.

“Say sorry and mean it.”

He looked at me, and his eyes watered. A single tear rolled down his cheek. “Rel, you can’t understand how sorry I am. I don’t want to be this way. I really don’t, but I just feel things, and I don’t know what to do about them, but when I get in fights, and have friends backing me up, I feel like I belong and my feelings are justified. I don’t hate people that are different from me, I just don’t understand them, and that means I don’t have to imagine how they feel once I’m done.”

“I… I don’t even know what to say.” So this was glamour. Wow, Draugr could do glamour! I didn’t know how I’d done it, and I was feeling weaker than a minute ago, but damn if that wasn’t a comprehensive answer.

“Well, I want you to apologize to Peter and Bhav.”

He stood up and started to walk out. “Not now!” I shouted, quickly. “Tomorrow at school. And promise me and them that you’ll never hurt them again.”

“I promise I’ll never hurt them again.”

I felt the swell of his mind pulling at me again. I could tell he didn’t want to promise that. He really didn’t want to. I focused inside myself. Could I tell why he didn’t want to? Could I read his mind? How deep did this connection go?

A vision flashed into my mind of a man’s fist. There was a lance of pain in my gut and I couldn’t breathe. I pulled myself out of the vision, and crumpled onto the nearest seat. The pull was still there, I hadn’t lost Chad’s mind. But that vision definitely wasn’t mine. I’d felt fear. I gasped for air. I might not have actually been punched, but I sure did feel like I had. Easier to just ask the question.

“Why don’t you want to not hurt them?”

“I have to hurt someone. If not them, then someone else. If not someone else then… me.”

Oh come on! I just wanted him to not bully people. Now I was a therapist, or something. This wasn’t as simple as I’d thought it was going to be. “Okay, well, hang on, we’ll work something out. But I’m busy now.”

“Okay.”

The guy from behind the counter shouted out my name. While I was here… “Chad, go and get my drink.”

He sprung up and dashed to pick my drink up, like if he didn’t do it, something terrible would happen to him. He walked back and placed it gently on the table in front of me, and then stayed standing, watching me.

I took a sip. It was cold and soothing and bitter yet sweet. That was pretty much what I’d asked for. Good job, The Grind! And yet, it didn’t hit the spot. I’d already been feeling thirsty from the stress of Mr. Anderton, and accidentally using glamour had taken a toll on me, I could tell. Going out hunting tonight like this… I knew how that would end.

Oh, that was a bad thought. No, I couldn’t do that. It was wrong. I looked at Chad, doting on me with his blank expression. I mean, doing it now would be better than waiting, right? I was in control of myself, so I wouldn’t take too much. Assuming I didn’t black out in some blood frenzy…

And I was in control of him, so I could just make him want it. This made sense!

I shuddered at what I was thinking. How easy it was to imagine hurting someone and using them for my own needs. But… it was for a good cause. I’d be stopping a real monster tonight. Right? Rick - hurting Rick - had been a mistake. An accident I didn’t even remember, and if I didn’t learn how to do this properly and safely, then I’d be the monster that needed to be stopped. I’d have to turn myself over to Mr. Anderton.

Yes, this made sense.

I stood up and headed for the door. When I got there I checked behind me and… he hadn’t moved. “Chad, follow me.” He darted over to me, like a dog that had been told to heel, standing closer than I felt comfortable with.

I was about to open the door, when I decided that hey, if I was already going to drink his blood, I may as well get some other perks from this. “Chad, open the door.”

He dove around me and pulled the door open. I smiled at the power I now wielded. Wielded? Okay, Rel, take it down a notch, jeez. The floorboard creaked on the way out, and an absent minded, ‘Good luck on the daily grind!’ floated over from an unseen barista.

Chad was practically stepping on my heels as I walked down the street.

“Hey, Chad, do you know anywhere quiet and secluded? You know, no-one around kind of thing,” I asked him.

“Yes.”

I stopped to look at him. Okay, apparently being specific was a requirement. “Where is that place?”

“Ninth street, halfway between Grove and Crescent.”

His monotone voice and distant eyes was starting to be kind of a drag. A bit too creepy, even for someone who was hoping to suck his blood.

I started walking, him still in tow. “Walk next to me, not behind me.”

A single large step brought him level with me, and at least it looked a bit less like he was stalking me to anyone looking over.

“And look… happy, or something.”

He opened his mouth wide, so wide I thought he was going to dislocate his jaw.

“Woah, stop. What was that?”

“Something,” he said.

“Was that… a joke?”

“Yes.”

“Ha. Ha. Look happy.”

A natural, effortless smile spread over his face. Well damn, when he wasn’t being a total asshole and pouting at everything like he was in a Calvin Klein ad, he looked kind of… cute.

We were walking from Fifth and Trench, so this wasn’t a quick walk, but at least it was in the right direction for me to meet Johnny afterward.

“’So… Chad. How does it feel being mind controlled?”

I felt a pull on my connection with his mind. I braced myself against a wall, and focused my will. He was fighting against the question, and against the self awareness it brought, and the realization that he wasn’t in control of himself. His thoughts rebelled against the idea. But then the swell subsided and he stayed by my side until I was ready to walk again, weakened further by the mental struggle.

“It’s nice.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh yeah, I need to be specific, don’t I? Why does it feel nice?”

“Being specific would help. It feels nice because I don’t have to think. I’m not worried anymore. I’m free.”

“That is… well, I think my parents would probably have some safety lecture for me about submission like that, but okay.” Actually it was kind of creepy. But I’d made up my mind, and I was going to go through with it.

After another fifteen minutes we were on Ninth and Grove, and I told him to show me the way.

It was a small alley between two nondescript buildings, with piles of wood and soil stacked everywhere. “Why this one?” I asked.

“These two buildings close early every day, and no one picks up the trash until Mondays. They’re building supply companies, so all these pallets block the view from the street. Also it’s a dead end, so there’s no reason for anyone to be down here.”

I decided not to ask how or why he knew all of this.

I walked to the very end of the alley, and turned. Just as he’d said, I couldn’t see the street from here. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Although the smile stayed plastered to his face, his eyes were still vacant.

“I want you to…” I had no idea what I was doing. Obviously I had an instinct for it, Rick had proved that, but now that I had to figure it out for myself, I felt awkward more than anything else. For starters he was too tall. “Umm, kneel down.”

He knelt before me, and I bent over to reach his neck. My mouth hovered an inch away from his pulsing neck, but… “I’m not feeling it,” I said.

Without a direct question, he stayed silent.

“Well, this is underwhelming. I am thirsty.” I looked down at him. “What’s different here, Chad? Hmm? I mean, sure, I’m not on death’s door. That’s a thing. Umm, I guess I like Rick, but you’re a dick.” I winked at him, but the joke was lost. “Right, my bad. Anything else?” I tapped my foot as I thought. “No. Nothing. Okay, so let’s do a run down. Well, having to almost die every time I feed just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, evolution wouldn’t do that to a species! Wait… have Draugr evolved, or have we always just…. been?”

“I don’t know,” Chad said, still kneeling.

“No, I don’t suppose you would. But that’s a bit outside the scope of this conversation. So, maybe I need to actually like the guy I get blood from. Right? That could be a thing. But… if I’m honest, Chad, I don’t think Rick could handle it!”

Chad stayed staring at the wall. “I like Rick.”

“Well who doesn’t, Chad! Everyone likes him. Get with the times, jeez. Okay, okay, maybe I need to get myself psyched up for it. Maybe I need to see the blood, and then my instincts will kick in. That makes sense!”

I looked around for a rusty screw or jagged piece of wood that I could cut Chad with. Then I stopped myself. “Woah. How insane am I? I am going into serious, creepy, murder territory here. I’m not going to cut you. Damn, Rel, get it together. I mean… I suppose I could ask you to cut yourself?” The tugging at my mind increased. “No, no, calm down. Don’t worry.” The pull subsided.

“All right. Get up.”

He stood.

“This has been a total waste of time. All I’ve done is made myself even weaker and thirstier than when I started. Hopefully I’m still a bit stronger than last time when I hadn’t fed at all. I guess we’ll find out.”

He stayed staring at the wall. I sighed. “Right. Mind-controlled slaves, not the best at conversation. Come on, I’ll drop you off somewhere and let you get back to your life. But with no hurting anyone, obviously.”

I took a few steps, but had lost the constant shadow that was Chad. I felt his mind, not pulling at mine to get away like it had before, but definitely doing something odd.

“Emotion,” he said.

I turned. “Huh?”

“Maybe you just need emotion.”

“Oh? And what do you know about it? I didn’t realize I was speaking with a Draugr expert.”

He tapped the side of his head. “Oh right. You’re feeling stuff in there too. Okay. I guess that makes sense.”

“When you’ve been angry or happy, my mind has been more – free. You feel stronger. It’s nice.”

“Okay. Okay, good! Now, how should I become emotional? Got any ideas? I’m feeling rather blasé about the whole ‘I want to suck your blood’ thing at the moment.”

He stepped forwards, and his right hand swung hard at my face, slapping me. My cheek burned like hot coals were pressed against it, and my ears rang. For a split second I saw red. He’d hit me so hard I almost fell over.

“Damn it, Chad! What the hell? I said no more violence!”

I let my instincts come. The thirst wanted it to happen. He wanted it to happen. Even I did. I jumped into him, wrapping my legs around his waist. One hand slid into his hair as he fell backwards into the alley wall, ripping his head to the side. Without thought, my fangs were out, and they’d found flesh. But I was myself. I was conscious. I could feel the spurt of blood hit my tongue, and the subsequent pulses of his heart, forcing his blood into my mouth. I sucked hard to gorge myself.

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Chad had slid down the wall, no longer able to hold me up. I had to control myself. I couldn’t leave a trail of pain behind me like I had with Rick. I stopped sucking, and I pulled my fangs out of his skin - they’d done their job. My heart was racing. His was slowing. I needed to stop. The taste of his blood was sour, like sucking on a penny. I didn’t like it at all, but at the same time I felt alive. I felt a rush of… something. Power, life, magic, The Force, I didn’t know what!

I wanted to pull my mouth away, but the thought of missing a drop stopped me. I punched my fist into the wall at Chad’s back, and pushed myself off. After the first tiny break from his skin and his blood, I was free. I threw myself back.

It wasn’t neat and clean, leaving behind two perfects dots in the jugular. It was messy and ragged, like the emotional rush I’d been in when it happened. But it was nothing like what I’d done to Rick. I rushed forward and put my hand over his neck, hoping that would stop the blood.

Chad’s eyes opened, and his hand went to mine at his throat. His smile was still in place. “Did I do good?” His voice was weak.

“What? Yes, you were very good at biting me, thank you. Now stop bleeding! You’re a dick, but you’re not dying, understand?”

His eyes lost their vacant foggy stare, and they focused on mine. He pulled my hand away from his neck. “Have more.”

I looked at the thin drizzle of blood still coming from the puncture marks in his neck. Why not have more? It would just be going to waste otherwise. But I wasn’t sure that if I started again I’d be able to stop in time. I leaned away from him. “No. No, I can’t. I mustn’t.”

He nodded. “I understand. But that was great. Can we do it again?”

“Uhh… huh?” I felt for the swell of his mind in mine, and sure enough it was there, but there was no pull anymore. He wasn’t fighting it.

“Those were the best few minutes of my life.” His smile grew.

Few minutes? Damn, where did time go when I was… feeding? I thought it had been a few seconds! And actually, last time I’d then been stuck in full speed mode. But not now? I focused on making the change. This was all about control. I had controlled myself and hadn’t killed Chad, now I could control my powers.

There wasn’t a special feeling, or a pop, or a sound, or anything. But Chad had stopped moving. The blood didn’t flow. A tear that was running down his cheek stuck stubbornly to it. I got up and looked around. Well, everything had been still in the alley before I’d gone super speed, so that didn’t mean anything. I walked to the street, but didn’t need to go that far. An old leaf hung in the alley. Wind had blown it into the air, and no doubt it was caught in a violent flurry. But it stayed still, right in front of my face. I gently touched it, but instead of pushing it along, my finger ripped a hole in it. I guess in reality, my finger was moving faster than a bullet. I blew on the leaf, and it disintegrated into dust.

I focused on slowing myself down. Or speeding the rest of the world up - who knew how it all worked. Something hit the back of my throat, and I coughed. I guess the leaf got me back.

“Rel?!” A panicked Chad’s voice came from behind one of the pallets where I’d left him.

I jogged back to him.

“Oh good, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I was right there. Chill out.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

I checked the time on my phone. This had taken longer than I’d expected. I needed to get to Johnny soon.

“I’m okay. You can go,” Chad said.

Wait… had I said that out loud?

“I don’t know. I just heard it.”

“Okay, reading minds is not cool, Chad! Get out of there!”

“’Oh, sorry. I don’t know how.”

I felt for the lump of his mind sitting in mine. I wasn’t trying to hold on to it like I had been before. I closed my eyes and pushed it away from me. There was an odd feeling. My mind getting lighter, and then his mind was gone from mine.

I looked down on Chad. “Are you still… happy? With everything that happened?”

“Oh yeah, baby.” He growled in contentment. “You can do that to me any time you like.”

“Hmm. I kind of preferred you not being a weird creep actually. Oh well. Do I need to get you to the hospital or something?”

He waved me off. “Nah, I’m just tired. Kinda used to this alley, so I might just kick it here for a bit. Have a good one.”

“Sorry, you’re just going to sleep in an alley with a neck wound?”

“’You know it, sexy. Quick nap, then I’ll meet up with my boys. Text me.”

Not even a question. Just a command to text him.

“Chad. You’re kind of a dick.”

He nodded. “Don’t have to tell me.” He winked at me and shot me a thumbs up.

“Okay, well I don’t have time to figure out what’s up with you, so… bye!” I turned and headed to my meeting with Johnny and Gareth.

“I hate it when you leave, but I love watching you walk away!” he shouted.