Ryan Renewed: New York Ruthless: Book 5

Mikey takes Hayden to the bathroom to fetch the first aid kit and help him get cleaned up while Shane, Conor, Liam and I sit at the kitchen island.

“What the fuck are we going to do about that kid?” Shane asks with a sigh as he looks at the doorway. “He has seen and knows far too much.”

“I agree,” Liam says.

“You can’t kill him,” I warn them.

Shane rubs a hand over his jaw. “I know.”

“So what then?” Conor asks.

“Can you let me handle it?” I whisper.

They three of them look at me. They are used to making the decisions like this and ordinarily I have no problem with that, but like it or not, Hayden is my family.

Liam lets out a long slow breath and Conor shrugs his shoulders as they wait for Shane’s answer. He will always be the head of our family unit.

“Do what you think is best, Jessie,” Shane finally agrees and I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him on the lips.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Hey, we agreed too,” Conor says with a laugh and so I pull him and Liam to me too and wrap my arms around all three of them as far as I possibly can.

Hayden is cleaned up and has some strip plasters on the cut above his eye. He is wearing one of the twins’ t-shirts and it dwarfs him but at least it’s not covered in blood. He sits opposite me at the kitchen table while my husbands hover nearby but they at least give us the illusion of privacy.

“I’m so sorry, Jessie,” he says again.

“I know,” I reply, placing my hand over his because I do believe that. “You’re a good person, Hayden. You don’t belong in this world.”

He swallows hard. “I want to make it up to you though. I want to be your brother, and an uncle.” He looks down at my rounded belly and I rub a hand over it protectively. Maybe if I didn’t have these two little babies to think about I would handle this differently, but I do. And they are the most important things in this world to me. I wanted him to be my brother so much. I was desperate for some family I could call my own, but I realized that I already have the best one I could have ever hoped for.

“I can never trust you, Hayden. I know you had your reasons, but you betrayed me.”

He chokes down a sob. “Jessie!”

“This is hard for me, too.” I wipe a tear from my eye. “But I can’t have people I don’t trust around my children. They will not allow people they don’t trust around their children.” I look over at my husbands. “I would never be myself around you, Hayden, and that is not the kind of relationship I want. It would be unfair to all of us.”

“But I can prove myself, Jessie. Please let me,” he sniffs as tears roll down his cheeks.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Hayden. I love you just as you are, but I can’t have you in my life.”

He blinks at me but he nods his understanding.

“I’ve paid off your mom’s medical bills and there is fifty thousand dollars in your bank account.”

“What?” he shakes his head. “No. Please don’t. I don’t deserve that.”

I squeeze his hand in mine again. “You deserve a good life without the worry of a debt that should never have been yours. Go do some of that traveling you dreamed about.”

“Thank you,” he sniffs as he wipes his cheeks.

Conor walks over to us and places a hand on Hayden’s shoulder. “Time to go, kid.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says to me again and I stand up and pull him into a hug.

“I know. I forgive you. Go live your life without any regrets. Okay?”

“Okay.” He nods and then he turns and walks away, with Conor escorting him.

“Kid,” Shane says as he walks past.

“Yeah?” Hayden stops and looks at him.

“Your sister is the best person you will ever meet. She saved your life today, because every single one of us would prefer to carve you into pieces and toss you into the Hudson.”

Hayden swallows hard.

“She is also the smartest person you will ever meet, and make no mistake, if you ever speak her name to anyone, or discuss anything of what happened here, she will find out, and I will kill you.”

“I w-won’t… e-ever…” Hayden stammers.

“Good. Now have a nice life, kid,” Shane smiles at him and then Conor escorts him out of the room.

“You think I did the right thing?” I ask once Conor and Hayden are gone.

“Yes,” Shane, Mikey and Liam say in unison.

After Hayden left and we all took a shower – separately to my disappointment, we are sitting in the den waiting for our take-out to arrive.

I’m sitting on Liam’s lap and he is holding on so tightly to me, I can barely move.

“Liam,” I squirm in his grip but I smile at him. “I’m not going anywhere. You can relax a little.”

“Sorry, baby,” he whispers before he kisses my forehead.

“I think we can all agree, you are never leaving the apartment again without at least one of us, Jessie,” Conor says as he flops onto the sofa beside us and his brothers mumble their agreement.

I suppose they expect me to refuse and to assert my independence like I usually would, but I’m kinda over getting kidnapped. Besides, there’s not just me to think of now.

“Fine by me,” I breathe as I snuggle against Liam’s chest.

Mikey snorts laughing while Conor stares at me. “Did you just agree to that with no arguing at all?” he asks with a flash of his eyebrows.

Liam places a hand on my forehead. “She’s delirious,” he says with a smile and I nudge him in the ribs.

“I am not. I’m just not overly keen on being kidnapped by some psycho again is all. I mean three kidnappings is enough for any woman to take.”

“And that’s not including the times we kidnapped you,” Mikey adds with a chuckle.

“Exactly.” I grin at him.

“I’ve already decided I’m sticking a tracker in your ass,” Shane says with a completely straight face.

“The hell you are!” I snap.

“Now, there’s our little firecracker,” Mikey chuckles.

“Yes, the hell I am, sweetheart,” Shane goes on.

I look at Mikey, Conor and Liam and they’re nodding their agreement. “Fine! If I’m having a tracker in my ass then so are all of you.”

“Fine by me,” Liam says.

“Me too,” Mikey agrees.

“Seems like a good idea,” Conor adds.

“You’ve already decided this then?” I fold my arms across my chest in feigned indignation but actually a tracker is a great idea.

“Yep,” Shane says with a nod.

“And you’re getting one too?”

He winks at me. “Yup.”

“It’s not going in my ass though!”

“I agree. Jessie’s ass is like a work of art. What if it causes a lump or something?” Mikey agrees with me.

“Your arm then,” Shane says with a shrug. “I don’t care where as long as it is somewhere in that hot little body of yours.”

The heat between my thighs makes me squirm in Liam’s lap again.

“Careful, Shane,” Liam chuckles. “You know it literally takes nothing to have our girl on the edge these days.”

“Hmm,” Mikey says as he walks behind the sofa and bends down to kiss the top of my head. “Pregnancy makes you even hornier than normal, Red.”

“I am not horny,” I insist.

“You are,” Liam whispers against my ear before he presses a kiss against the spot on my neck that makes me weak at the knees.

“Well, I am now that you’re kissing my neck,” I moan softly making him laugh. “You all tease me about being horny but that is because between the four of you walking around here half-naked, the kissing, the filthy talk, the ass grabbing, it’s like I’m being constantly edged.” I pant, blowing a strand of hair out of my eyes.

“Edged?” Shane arches an eyebrow at me. “You’re never kept waiting long enough to be truly edged, sweetheart.”

“True,” Conor agrees. “We all love making you come too much.”

“But if you want to keep complaining about being edged, we can make that happen,” Shane adds with a wicked grin.

“No thank you,” I whisper. “I’m pretty sure orgasm denial is bad for the babies. Isn’t that right, Mikey?” I smile sweetly at him.

“If you say it is, Red, then it is,” he winks at me.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Orgasms in general are good for the babies though, right?” Shane asks.

“Actually, there is some research that suggests the babies experience the positive feelings of an orgasm,” Mikey says. “And they can also strengthen the pelvic muscles which is good preparation for labor.”

“Fuck! Jessie’s pelvic muscles must be strong enough that those babies will just slide out with no effort,” Liam chuckles and I give him another nudge in the ribs.

“Where the fuck do you read all this, shit, Mikey?” Conor asks.

“On the internet, dumbass.”

“Oh, well it must be true then,” Conor replies.

“I don’t care where he read it, I’m willing to believe it,” Shane chuckles too.

“Are you planning on giving me plenty of orgasms then, Mr. Ryan?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Not just me,” he stands up and walks over to me, cupping my chin in his hand. “We’re all taking a week off and going to the lake house. So, you’re gonna be on bed-rest, sweetheart.”

Warmth and wetness floods my pussy at the thought and I actually gasp out loud making all four of them chuckle.

“We’re all taking a week off?” I whisper.

“Yeah, baby,” Liam whispers.

“I figure we all need it,” Shane says as he straightens up and the sound of the intercom signals our take-out is here.

“I’ll get it,” Mikey runs toward the door.

“I’m starving,” I say as my stomach growls in agreement.

“Me too,” Liam groans.

“Food and then bed, Angel,” Conor says with a grin.

“Sounds perfect to me,” I sigh as I snuggle against Liam’s chest again. The events of the day are heavy on my mind and this is the perfect way to deal with them.

Shane strolls to the window and I wonder how he is holding up after what happened with Erin. He always takes care of everyone else so well.

I climb off Liam’s lap and walk to stand behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rest my cheek against the warm skin of his back. “Are you okay?” I whisper.

He turns around and wraps his arms around me too. “Yes,” he says before kissing my forehead.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” I remind him.

“I know,” he says with a nod. “It’s never easy to take someone’s life, Jessie.” He brushes my hair from my face. “But it was the only decision to make. I cannot have my family put at risk. I am one hundred percent okay with the choices I made today and I would make them every damn day to make sure you and our babies are safe.”

I feel a huge kick in my abdomen and to my surprise, Shane looks down at my rounded belly The babies are constantly kicking me but they haven’t been felt by anyone else yet.

“What the fuck?” he whispers.

“Did you feel that?” I giggle.

“Fuck, yeah I did,” he laughs, his eyes shining as he steps back and puts his hands on my belly and they kick again, right where he is touching me. He keeps one hand on my stomach and places the other on my cheek, rubbing the pad of his thumb softly over my skin. “I can’t believe you’re making me a dad, sweetheart.”

“I can’t believe it either,” I breathe.

“I hope you know you are stuck with me for all eternity, because I will love you to the end of this lifetime and into the next. We really are from the same star,” he says, his voice cracking with emotion.

I have never seen him so raw and vulnerable and it makes my heart sing. “I love you so much,” I say as a tear rolls down my face and he brushes it away.

“Boys,” he shouts. “Get your asses over here.”

“What?” they shout back as they come running over.

“I felt the babies kicking,” he tells them with the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life.

“Fuck! For real?” Mikey asks as he stands beside his older brother.

“Yeah, right here,” he takes Mikey’s hand and places it on my stomach and then he does the same with Liam’s while Conor stands behind me and slides his arms around my waist, resting a hand near his brothers’.

“Hey babies,” Mikey shouts. “It’s your daddies here.”

We wait a few seconds and they kick again and the looks of pure joy on their faces makes me start to cry.

“This will never get old,” Liam says as tears fill his eyes too. “Do they do this all the time?”

“Yeah. Kind of,” I sniff as I smile at him.

“I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off you now, Red,” Mikey grins at me.

“No change there then,” Conor mumbles in my ear.

Shane cups my face in his hands. “You are so fucking beautiful, you know that?”

“You’re fucking incredible, baby,” Liam adds.

“You fucking are, Red,” Mikey agrees.

Conor kisses my neck softly. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Angel.”

My cheeks flush red at their praise. I spent so long trying to fade into the background. Trying not to draw attention to myself. Making myself look small and unremarkable. But from the moment these four men laid eyes on me, I have been neither of those things. So when they tell me I am beautiful, or incredible, or any of the other wonderful things they say, I believe them.

“Thank you,” I whisper.