Ryan Renewed: New York Ruthless: Book 5

We’ve been back from the lake house for two days and Jessie has stopped with the ovulation testing. I know that she wanted to continue, but I hope in time she sees that it’s the best for all of us if we take our feet off the gas a little. It’s not like we fuck her much less when she’s not ovulating anyway.

I look up from my computer screen to see her walking into my office and closing the door.

“Something wrong?” I look behind her at the door. She rarely closes it, no matter what we’re doing.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she says, biting her lip as she takes a seat opposite me. It’s not the sexy lip biting she does, either, but the one when she’s feeling anxious about something. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. An anxious Jessie is never a good thing.

I close my laptop and rest my hands on top of it as I look at her, trying to read her mind so I can be prepared for whatever bombshell she’s about to drop, because she looks to be in that kind of mood. She stares back at me, her bright blue eyes fixed on mine as I give her my full, undivided attention.

“What is it?” I ask.

She sucks in a deep breath before she speaks, another sign that she is nervous. “I’ve been thinking about the baby thing.”

I try to keep my face neutral as I groan inwardly. I’d been wondering when she’d bring this up and I suppose two days of her not doing that was more than I’d hoped for. Every month when her period arrives I watch her get upset and disappointed, but each month her disappointment grows deeper, and because I know her so well, I see the feelings of guilt creeping in too. Not that she has anything at all to feel guilty about, but there is no telling her that.

I lean forward slightly. “What about it?”

“About why it hasn’t happened yet,” she whispers.

“Because it takes time,” I remind her.

“I know that, but…” she swallows hard as though the words are lodged in her throat.

“But what, sweetheart?”

“I know it can take time for like normal couples…” Her voice trails off.

I keep staring at her because I don’t know where she’s going with this bit.

“But there are four of you. I ovulate every month. I’m always full of…” Her cheeks flush bright pink and I can’t help but smile at how she blushes so easily around me and my brothers, like she isn’t as much of a horny deviant as we are.

“Cum?” I offer.

“Yes,” she whispers. “So why hasn’t it happened yet?”

“You were on birth control for years. Doesn’t that shit take time to leave your system?” I ask with a shrug.

“It’s been seven months, Shane.”

I stare at her. Do I tell her Mikey’s theory, or will that only make her more upset?

Since we decided to try for a baby, my younger brother has researched baby-making with a fervor that would put a Harvard student to shame. Jessie’s periods aren’t entirely regular and can come anywhere between four and five weeks. They’re pretty heavy too and she gets bad cramps that incapacitate her for at least a day a month until they ease off. On our second month of trying, her period arrived after five weeks and one day. Her bleeding was even heavier than usual and the worst of her cramps lasted a full two days.

She put it down to the birth control hormones coming out of her system, but Mikey has a theory that she may have been pregnant and it was so early that we didn’t notice that she lost it. It’s just a theory. We will never know if it was true, but apparently it’s much more common than people realize. But as Jessie is upset enough, I don’t land that one on her today.

“We spoke to Lisa about this,” I remind her. Lisa is our personal physician. She removed Jessie’s implant and then talked us all through what to expect. Not getting pregnant immediately was a part of it. “She said it could be up to a year before we conceive. I know it’s upsetting, sweetheart, but it will happen when the time is right.”

She leans forward in her seat as her eyes search my face. “But that’s just it, Shane. What if it doesn’t?” she asks quietly and the anguish on her face almost breaks my heart.

What the fuck do I say to that? “Then we’ll deal with it,” I offer.

“But wouldn’t it be better to deal with it now?”

I rub a hand over my jaw and sigh. “What are you talking about, Jessie?”

“There are tests—”

“No,” I interrupt her before she can finish the sentence.

“Not for you guys, for me,” she says with a frown as though I’ve mistaken her meaning.

“I know what you mean, Jessie, and the answer is still no.”

“But…” She stares at me, her mouth opening and closing like a fish in a bowl.

“You are twenty-seven years old. We have only been trying for seven months.”

“But if there’s something wrong?”

“Why are you so convinced there’s something wrong with you?” I frown at her. I fucking hate seeing her driving herself crazy like this. I knew this baby-making would bite us in the ass. We shouldn’t have started those damn ovulation tests.

“Because it can’t be all of you, can it?”

“It’s probably not you either, Jessie. Why is it such a big deal that you’re not knocked up already?” I snap and regret my tone.

“Because it just is, Shane! Are you sorry you even agreed to try now?” she snarls, her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched at her sides.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” I snarl back.

“Then I’m getting the tests done.”

“The fuck you are!” I shout, louder than I had intended to and she blinks at me in shock. I don’t know why this pushes my buttons so damn much, but the fact she immediately jumps to the conclusion that something is wrong with her makes me pissed.

She pushes herself up from her chair. “You’re an asshole!” she snaps as she heads for the door.

“Is that the only comeback you ever have for me?” I challenge her. I’m irrationally pissed now and that was probably uncalled for, but I don’t care.

She spins on her heel until she’s facing me again and flips me the bird. “Fuck you!” she snaps before she storms out of my office leaving me staring after her wondering how the hell we just got into an epic argument again.