Run With The Wolves

I was staring at the ceiling when I finally noticed I was laying down. It doesn’t feel like I just woke up, it’s like... I’m finally paying attention. My eyes felt sore and swollen. The light was beginning to bother me but I felt this overwhelming weight that made it hard for me to move.

It was jarring to find myself in a hospital room. What’s worse was that I could barely move. I tried but I couldn’t even shift myself up more. There was something around my arm, keeping me from moving it. As I looked down, there was a dull sensation to my neck.

I had a cast on my right arm, extending up further than my elbow. All I could do was move my fingers, though even that was a little painful. I couldn't think of how I got a cast on my arm.

I could feel bandages around my torso.

I used my left hand to pull at the hospital gown to check if I really had bandages around me. They were definitely there along with white gauze in other places, too.

It seems like I got roughed up a bit.

I just... couldn’t remember how.

The last thing that comes to mind was leaving the house to bring my mom her badge. I don’t remember if I actually made it. Did I get in a car accident? I can’t remember. Someone has to tell me how I ended up here.

“Gabriel.” An older man in a white coat walked into the room. I was quick to look over to him, hoping to get some answers about why I was here. “Glad to see you focusing.” He said to me and set some papers on the table at my bedside.

I was still gripping my hospital gown. My fingers loosened so I could let go. He was calm, and that made me settle down a bit. If he wasn’t stressed out then maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe something terrible didn’t happen. He has to know.

“Um...” I really didn’t know what to say. “What happened to me?” I asked.

How did I get hurt?

“I was hoping you would know that.” He took a seat in the chair next to my bed. “You were brought in three days ago by two young men.” He paused, giving me some time to let it sink in but I still don’t remember. “You sustained a fracture of your right arm, multiple broken ribs, and twisted your left ankle.”

I don’t remember.

“After reviewing your chart, I saw that you’ve hit your head a couple times in the past, too.” He added. Did I hit my head hard enough that I don’t remember this time? That’s incredibly frustrating. “How do you feel?” The doctor asked me.

“I’m not in much pain.” I said truthfully.

“Means the medication is working.”

Thank goodness for that. I had this intuition like I would be in excruciating pain if it weren’t for the medications. But I think that the doctor was referring to something different. Not just whether I feel pain.

“Did I hit my head again?” I asked. He didn’t give the answer away. Or maybe he thought I would know. “I don’t remember anything. The last thing I remember was leaving my house.”

I tried to think past that, but everything was blank. It’s like I hit a wall when I try to think about what I missed, how I got injured.

“I’m worried that you’re going to have amnesic events due to so many head injuries over a short period of time.”

That’s a real concern.

I had to take a moment to process that. I know I’ve gotten hurt a lot. I’ve hit my head a lot, too. It’s not like I do it on purpose. But now I feel like there’s something I should’ve been doing to avoid that.

I didn’t know how to respond to the comment. As much as I wanted to be an adult about this, I also wanted my parents to be here. They’d know more than me.

“Are my parents here?” I finally asked.

“They’re speaking with the police.” He said. By the way my facial expression changed, the concerned look in my eyes, he answered the question I was just about to ask. “They think your assault has something to do with the serial murders that’s been happening.”

Something...clicked in my head. It’s not like I remembered what happened, but I knew that I got in between something I shouldn’t have. I started to think about Ty and his family, hoping they were okay because of what they planned for that night.

The doctor continued to speak to me calmly. “I’ve been adamant about keeping the police away from you for the time being considering you weren’t in a vocal state for a few days.”

“What does that mean?”

“You were awake. You just weren’t responding to anything, almost like a vegetable.” He said. “That can be common in neurologic disorders. So it’s definitely a good thing to see you moving around and speaking.”

All of this is...weird. Despite him sharing the good news, I didn’t feel that settled by the situation. I tried to not let that show on my face, but none of this was making sense to me. If I knew what happened, I’d be able to grasp all this but I can’t. There was an obvious chunk of my memory missing.

“I’ll let your parents know you’re awake.”

When the doctor left the room, I had a few seconds to myself to think about what I was going to say to my parents. The past few months have been hard on them because of how many times I’ve gotten hurt. Adding this on top of it will pile up stress on them. I could literally feel my dad trying so hard not to pop a blood vessel. I shifted in bed a bit, sitting up more so I wouldn’t look helpless...or like I was on my death bed. I don’t want my parents to think I’m going to be scarred for life.

My mom was the first to come in to the room. She had her arms wide open for me and rushed to hug me tightly. She looked absolutely terrified. There was this look in her hazel eyes, like she thought the worst had happened to me. When she crushed me in a hug, I tried to calm her down, though I couldn’t move much.

“Mom, I’m okay.” I wanted her to believe me.

She moved and put her hands on my face. Tears were filling her eyes. “I don’t know why you keep getting hurt. I feel like the universe hates me.” She meant that. There was this sadness I haven’t seen in her before.

I couldn't see her like that. It hurt.

“I just broke a few ribs-” Apparently saying that did not make her feel better because she just bursted out crying. “Mom! It’s okay.” She was making me panic.

Then my dad came in the room and my anxiety really got to me. His face was slightly red. The way his brows were furrowed and his hands were balled up at his side, someone said something to him that he found unpleasant.

Did he see the hospital bill?

I’m grounded.

“I’m so tired of the harassment.” He said angrily and closed the door behind him. “The police have been nothing but a nuisance for the past few days. We told them we don’t know anything but they won’t leave us alone.” He complained.

It’s not like I’ll be much help either.

He had to pull Mom away from me since she was still crying. “Anne, let him breathe-”

She pushed him away and hugged me again. My left arm wrapped around her gently, and I wanted to make her feel better but there wasn’t much I could do when I looked a mess.

My dad was trying to keep it together.

If he falls apart then no one will be able to hold the family together.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” My mom held on to me tightly. “I can’t believe this happened to you.” she had to have been terrified. I have no idea what she went through these past few days. I didn’t mean to scare them. Whatever happened, I think it’s over now. “What happened?” she asked.

I couldn’t answer that question because I really don’t know. “Last thing I remember was walking outside in the rain.” I said.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave the house.” Dad said, regretful.

“It’s not like you knew what was going to happen.” I didn’t want them to think it was their fault. I got injured because I got involved in something I shouldn’t have.

They didn’t do this.

“Anyway, the doctor said I was a vegetable for a few days.” I told them, wanting to focus on something else, though me being in a hospital bed with multiple injuries was the elephant in the room.

“All you would do is stare at the wall.” Mom was still worried about me. “You wouldn’t talk, you wouldn’t eat, you barely slept.”

“I...don’t remember it.” I tried to think through it, but I really don’t remember. “I hope I didn’t hit my head again.” I sighed.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Mom pressed her hand against my cheek gently.

“I still have to go to school.” Having memory issues is going to make graduating that much harder.

Dad laughed dryly. “I really don’t think that should be a concern right now.” He said and sat down in the empty chair. Mom was still touching my face, having this need to hold on to me just in case another awful event happens.

Dad was watching. He wanted to say something but he was giving Mom time to calm down.

At least she stopped crying.

“So...” Dad started slowly. “We almost lost you there, son-” he stopped abruptly when Mom turned back sharply to look at him. I had to hide my smile so I didn’t make the situation worse. “What? I’m just pointing it out.” He got defensive.

“He’s only making jokes in attempt to repress his fear.” Mom said to me.

“Okay.” Dad said however, not too pleased by the comment.

“I’m fine, Mom.” I took her hand from my face and held it, hoping to make her feel better. “If I’m being honest, being shot still hurt worse than all this.”

If I make jokes, then maybe it won’t be so bad. They won’t be so worried. I wanted them to smile because I’m actually alive. If I could tell them what happened, I would but nothing came to mind. So for right now, I just wanted them to know that everything was okay.

“Your piercing is gone.” My dad said.

That’s when I lifted my hand to my ear to find the silver bar missing. If my piercing is gone then that means...someone messed with my head. That has to be why I forgot everything, why I can’t remember what happened.

“I was thinking about getting a nose ring like the one Mom had-”

My mom squeezed my hand tightly so I would stop talking. She even shook her head so I wouldn’t suggest getting another piercing. The look on my dad’s face, like he almost wanted me to finish so he could have an excuse to yell at me was reassuring, despite the fact that there’s a chance I might get in trouble again.

“Gabriel?” One of the nurses chimed as she came into my room. Heidi is one of my mom’s friends, and she’s been sneaking me chocolate for the past day. It was late in the evening when she came in so I figured she was working a night shift. “How’s your pain?” She asked as she came over to my bedside.

I was eager to ask for more pain medication. “If you want to give me more of that stuff, I’m okay with it.” I said. They’ve been giving me the strong stuff and I really like it. When it wears off though, my chest starts to hurt. Like right now. When I take deep breaths it feels like my chest is about to explode, and it’s unpleasant.

Heidi scoffed at my request as she fixed my IV bag. It was like she had no intention of helping me out. “Your mom doesn’t want you on that stuff." She laughed, though I groaned. It was fun while it lasted. “I can get you some Benadryl to fall asleep.”

"Benadryl!" I thought she was disrespecting me. “Heidi, I’m almost eighteen. I think I can handle Fentanyl-”

“You’re lucky you got some morphine.” She turned to me sharply and put her hands on her hips. “I can’t believe someone would rough up such a sweet kid.” she said as I pulled open the top button of my gown. She had to redo the dressing over my chest.

I have a feeling it was more than that.

“I was probably at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“That’s what Tony Shaw’s kid said. She didn’t remember anything either.”

It’s probably a good thing we don’t remember anything. It’s frustrating, but I feel like knowing would hurt much worse.

“Anyway, you have a visitor.” she said. I opened my mouth to ask who it was, but she didn’t give me the chance. “I shouldn’t be letting anyone in at this time, Gabriel. It’s almost midnight.”

It’s so quiet though. I’ve been bored all day because I can barely do anything. I don’t feel like sleeping either. I tried to pout, and she stared at me for a solid moment. When she began to crack, I smiled.

“Fine.” she rolled her eyes. “I’ll go get him.”

I didn’t have to wonder who it was that came to see me. A smile rose to my lips as Ty came in my room. I was so relieved to know that he’s okay. After all this mess, he’s okay. I have no idea what happened and as much as I wanted to ask him, I just wanted to hug him instead.

If I could move, I would go to him.

He hugged me a little tighter than I thought he would. There was a dull pain to my chest when he squeezed me, and it just about knocked the breath out of me. I groaned from the pain and Ty pulled away abruptly when he remembered how strong he actually was.

There was this look of terror in his eyes. “I’m sorry!-”

“It’s okay.” My left arm stayed around him so he wouldn’t move away. I wanted him to stay close. “I can still breathe.” He doesn’t have to worry about me. Well, I didn’t want to scare him. He didn’t believe me though. He looked absolutely terrified.

I was hurt badly. I wouldn’t be in the hospital if I wasn’t.

The way Ty looked at me, it was almost like I was close to getting killed.

Whatever happened, he knows. “I’m so sorry.” There was so much weight to his voice that it worried me. “I wasn’t fast enough and I let them-”

“Ty, it’s okay.” I didn’t like seeing that horrified look on his face. My hand pressed against his cheek, feeling the intense warmth of his skin. His face was slightly flushed, too.

He has a fever.

“You should be in bed.” I said. “I don’t want you passing out.”

“I can’t believe you’re worrying about me right now.”

“I can’t exactly remember what happened to me.” So I wasn’t sure if there was something to worry about for myself.

Ty had this expression like he was guilty. “I asked Henri to do that...” he admitted, almost ashamed. I can’t see why though. “You were screaming and crying and I didn’t want you to remember how they hurt you.” With how desperate he seemed for me to understand, I figured that whatever happened was terrible.

I did end up in the hospital.

“Gabriel, I’m so sorry. I should’ve stayed with you. This wouldn’t have happened if I was by your side.”

I couldn’t stand seeing him like this, scared and frightened. He was sick, too, and exhausted. He was an absolute mess because he feels guilty about what happened. He’s probably not taking care of himself at home because I was here. I don’t want him going through that.

I wanted to smile at him, but for the first time I thought Ty was going to have a mental breakdown. I wanted to make him feel better but it was as if whatever I said wouldn’t remove that terrible feeling he had. I must’ve been in a lot of pain if it’s stressing him out this much. I don’t even remember what happened but it’s still causing him grief.

Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.

Maybe I should give him time to get used to what happened.

Telling him I’m fine wasn’t going to make him feel better.

“Stay with me tonight.” I hoped that none of the nurses would kick him out. “I have a feeling your fever won’t go away unless you stay.”

He needs to sleep more than I do.

By the dark circles under his eyes, I could tell he hasn’t had much rest. Add a fever on top of that and Ty could get much worse. I felt more at ease with him here, but its a much bigger deal for him to stay with me.

He liked my suggestion.

It’s heart breaking to see him in so much distress.

He put his head down on my bed and sighed, though he was still holding on to all that bottled up pain and guilt. He was so tense. What he needs to do is relax. My hand moved gently in his hair, feeling the curls around my fingers. I wanted to put him to sleep.

Hopefully being with me calms him down enough that he can get a few hours of peace.

I was praying that when I woke up, I was in my own bed.

I wasn’t.

I was staring at the hospital ceiling when I finally realized that I was probably awake the whole time. I had to remind myself that that’s a side effect of Henri’s little trick on me. I black out and forget where I am and what I’m doing.

Thank goodness I’m not wandering around.

It had to be early morning with the faint light that was coming from the window. I don’t know how long I was out, but strangely enough I don’t feel exhausted. Though I have been in a hospital bed for a few days. I’m also lucky I didn’t wake up to sudden pain. There was a dull throbbing, but it wasn’t terrible enough for me to ask for medication. I figured I was going to have to deal with pain at some point.

Ty’s head was resting on my thigh. I lifted my hand out of his hair slowly and he began to move around. He sat up in the chair, his eyes opening lazily as he looked around. When he turned towards me, I smiled. He probably didn’t sleep that well, and I could tell by the grumpy look on his face, and how he tried to stretch but flinched from the pain.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I should be asking you that.” he put his head down on my thigh again.

“I know. But I worry about you, too.” I let my hand brush his cheek. “It seems like your fever went down.” I was thankful that he wasn’t burning up.

“I feel okay when you are.”

We both know that. If I had to be honest, today was the first day that I felt...fine. I know I said it to my parents before and to everyone else that asked, but now I truly did feel fine. I have injuries and I probably won’t be able to do things by myself for a few weeks, but I really did feel okay.

Having Ty here was reassuring.

“If we could both fit, I would tell you to get in bed with me.” I said, and I saw him smile as he closed his eyes.

“We can do that when you get home.”

“Oh?” I sounded interested.

He opened his eyes quickly and looked up towards me. ”That is not what I meant.” He knew what I meant and that’s all that matters. “You can’t exactly set the mood with a broken arm and ribs.”

I wanted to say he was wrong. I’m adorable, and I can set the mood at any time. It’s just that Ty was probably more concerned about me getting better and not interfering with that. So I gave in. “Fine.” I pursed my lips. “I can’t wait to get out of this stupid cast.” I can’t do anything with a broken arm.

“Since you’ll have to stare at it for a while...” He got up, looking around my room. He went over to the counter and picked up a sharpie marker. When he sat back down, he pulled off the cap and began writing on the cast. “I know you like this cheesy stuff.” he said as he drew a heart around the letters.

T and G.

I can’t believe he actually did that. As cliche as it was, I think I fell more in love with him. I was about to start fantasizing about writing our letters all over my wall and in my notebooks.

“My heart is literally quivering right now.” I laughed and he rolled his eyes, though I saw the faint blush on his cheeks. “You love it.” I said.

“I love you.”

“That, too.” I said as he leaned closer to kiss my cheek.

I’m glad that he’s in a better mood. I wanted him to believe that I was okay because I truly was. Having him here and knowing that he’s safe makes it all better.