Rivers of blood and sand

I don’t know how long I slept, but when I awoke, the storm had ended. I was alone in bed, my top half still clothed. Sitting up in bed, I glanced around the small cabin, looking for Ander but didn’t find him. The bathroom door was open and from my vantage, I didn’t see him in there. Worry settled in my chest as I contemplated where he could be.

He wouldn’t just ditch me out in the Wilds, would he? I’d like to say no since he’d been so adamant on joining me out here, but that was before he fucked me. Chances were that he regretted it and wanted to be as far away from me as possible.

My jeans were on the floor next to the bed and my panties were clear across the room. After pulling them on, I went into the bathroom and attended to my needs. I had a feeling that if I didn't have my speed healing, I would’ve been sore and possibly bruised from my session with Ander.

My body heated at the reminder. Never before had a man touched me the way he did. They never were that rough with me and I’d never expected I’d enjoy it as much as I did. Mixing pain and pleasure never seemed like something I’d like. Normally, I preferred men that were attentive and made sure I was comfortable. To some that may seem boring, but I always preferred it. Or at least I thought I had.

I was still baffled that Ander had been so ready to fuck me. If someone would’ve asked me a few days ago if I thought I’d ever sleep with Ander, I would’ve said hell no. Not with how he never tried hiding his feelings about me. Hell, I never thought he was attracted to me. Usually, when someone treated you the way Ander treated me, they didn’t usually end up giving you two orgasms. It was most likely a hate fuck on his part.

I wasn’t able to dwell on this any longer, not when the front door opened and Ander entered. “Good, you’re awake.” He said this like it was my fault for sleeping so long. Nice to know he decided on being an ass. He was wearing a new blue t-shirt, and his hair was tousled, probably from him running his hands through it. His expression was closed off, but at least he wasn’t glaring or showing disdain.

Rather than comment on his words or make a retort, I chose to check my wristband. It was almost three in the morning and I had several messages from my brother, and then Jade when I hadn’t answered him. I usually put my wristband on mute when I was doing reconnaissance, so I wouldn’t get a call or message that could distract or put me in danger.

Based on his messages, Koa wasn’t too happy. Far from it.

I debated asking Ander to leave again or maybe heading outside myself to find some privacy, but I did neither of those things. Rather than give him power over me by showing he made me uncomfortable, I called my brother knowing he would answer right away. He’s always been a light sleeper and with my not answering for hours, he answered right away.

Ander couldn't hear what Koa had to say or see him when he appeared on my screen. His shoulder-length wavy hair was in disarray from sleep—or something else I wasn’t willing to think about. “Starling, why the fuck haven’t you been answering? I had to find out from Seth you ran into trouble. You should’ve called me right away.”

Biting my lip, I looked off to the side, trying to find a way to diffuse this situation. “You couldn’t have helped anyways, and I didn’t want to bother you.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were the wrong ones.

“I need to know these things, Star. I shouldn’t have to hear from someone else that you were in danger. It’s not right to keep me out of the loop on these types of things. We’re a team. You don’t get to run off alone. I’m not trying to make you feel incompetent, but you need someone looking out for you.” Koa’s voice rose as he spoke, his agitation apparent as gold became the dominant color in his swirling amber eyes.

My brows pulled together as I cocked my head to the side. “I’m not.”

Now it was Koa’s turn to look confused. “You’re not what?”

I shot a glance at Ander as he sat in the chair next to the bed, intently watching me. I’d already known he was watching, his gaze like a physical caress over my body. Because it was Ander and he was a master at hiding his emotions, I had no indication if it was a good or a bad thing.

“What did Seth tell you?” I asked instead of answering since it was clear Seth had been vague on the details.

“You know Seth, he gives as little detail as possible over messages. All he said was that you ran into some trouble and called him for assistance.” Koa’s shoulders were tight with tension, but they began loosening as distinctly feminine hands rubbed his shoulders.

After shooting another glance at Ander, only to meet his steely gaze again, I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Well, you should tell Jade she’s misplaced her overprotective, annoying friend because he won’t seem to leave me alone.” I met Ander’s gaze at the last part, and to my annoyance, he smirked.

He fucking smirked.

This had Koa jolting in shock, making Jade ask him what was wrong. “Ander’s with you?”

I overheard Jade ask Koa, “Ander’s there?”

Koa glanced over his shoulder at her. “When was the last time you saw him?”

“Right after your training session.”

Koa returned his focus to me, his shrewd gaze studying my face. I was confident he wouldn’t know what occurred between Ander and me. As luck would have it, the bathroom had a brush and a hair tie, so I could tame the mess that was my hair.

“Why did you ask Ander to come with you and not me?” Anyone that didn’t know Koa as well as I did wouldn’t have realized how much the thought that I didn’t ask him, but asked Ander, truly bothered him. I’d go as far as to say, it hurt his feelings, although he’d never admit to that.

I snorted, shaking my head at how ridiculous this whole situation was. “I didn’t.”

Koa studied me some more and the longer he watched me without saying anything, the less confident I felt in my assessment that he couldn’t tell what happened with Ander. “Okay, so tell me, what did you find on your errand?”

Biting my lip, I looked away from the projected screen. I knew I should tell him, but the only thing I knew about the scene we found was what Seth told me. That it was a crude sacrifice. I couldn’t—shouldn’t—drag him, and subsequently Jade and the rest of them, into this dangerous mess when I didn’t know what it was or if it was connected to the rift. Hell, I already felt bad enough for almost getting Ander killed, and I hadn’t even been the one to drag him into this. If something happened to one of the others because I asked for help, I would never forgive myself.

“I’ll tell you when I figure it out myself,” I vaguely answered, watching the frustration grow in his expression.

“Dammit Starling! Don’t try and handle this shit alone when you don’t need to.” He shoved his hand through his hair, his movements rough. Jade’s rumpled blonde hair came into frame when she pressed a kiss on Koa’s bare shoulder as she continued giving him a massage. She whispered words I wasn’t able to catch, but that was probably for the best. It was safe to assume she was trying to soothe him.

She was the one thing that grounded him and could pull him back from the brink. I didn’t say anything, I didn't need to. Glancing between him and Jade with a pointed look, I made it crystal clear why I was hesitant to drag him into this mess, at least for now.

During our first mission in the creature’s realm, each time Jade nearly died, I was forced to watch my brother quickly unravel as panic and fear overtook him. I witnessed how seeing a hallucination of her being killed had affected him. When he tried living without her as a way to keep her safe, I saw how broken he was. I knew what she meant to him. Just like, I knew he wouldn’t survive losing her. I also knew she would never let him go off on a dangerous mission without her.

Understanding and then resignation filled his expression, followed by a long sigh as he shut his eyes. He may not like my reasoning, but he understood it. “Star, please be safe and don’t put yourself in any unnecessary danger.”

“And take Ander with you,” Jade cut in, lifting her head from Koa’s shoulder.

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’d better keep you safe,” Koa added, but there wasn’t any anger in his tone.

My eyebrows shot up as my mouth gaped slightly. Yes, he had sort of threatened Ander, but it was in more of a joking kind of way. It was too weird to see them not hate each other. Don’t get me wrong, I was glad they weren’t at each other’s throats. But it was still weird.

“I’ll let you know if I find anything substantial,” I said, rolling my eyes while avoiding making any promises of bringing Ander along. If I had it my way, we’d be going our separate ways as soon as we exited the Wilds. “And don’t get all pissy if I don’t respond right away.”

Koa huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re a real brat, you know that?”

I let out a light chuckle. “Love you too.”

“Why didn’t you tell him what happened?” Ander asked as soon as I powered off my wristband. He remained in the chair, somehow looking at ease and comfortable, lounging back with his legs carelessly spread.

I shrugged looking away from him. He didn’t need to know my reasoning. I didn’t owe him an explanation.

The last thing I wanted to do was stay in this damn cabin with him anymore. Not when I could smell our combined arousal and lust lingering on the bed sheets. Something I refused to dwell on because it was a one-time hate fuck that would never happen again.

Not saying another word, I spun on my heel and exited the front door. Shafts of moonlight peeked through the tree branches, highlighting the cabin and the damp grass. Mud squelched under my boots as I stepped from the cabin, making me cringe ever so slightly. After the mud incident in the dark forest, I’d been wary of it ever since. With good reason too, that shit almost pulled me under and suffocated me. It probably would’ve had it not been for the others.

Memories of how Ander whispered soothing words to me as he fought to keep me alive tried invading my thoughts, but I shoved them aside. It had been the first time he was ever nice to me, and I couldn’t think about him like that right now.

At this point, I wasn’t surprised Ander followed me from the cabin. Right away he took the lead, claiming he knew the easiest path out of here. He ended up being proven right when not even an hour later, we were exiting the forest in a different area than behind their house. Probably for the best since I wasn’t planning on going back there. No way did I want to risk being ambushed by Koa and Jade. I would have to head home for some extra supplies, but it was a better alternative.

To my utter annoyance, Ander continued walking beside me as I followed the pathways headed into town. His stride was unhurried as he looked anywhere but me. He appeared calm and relaxed, but from what I’ve witnessed from Ander, I doubted he ever truly relaxed.

“You don’t have to follow me anymore. We’re out of the Wilds and away from danger.” I spread my arms wide to emphasize my point as I made a show of looking at the buildings surrounding the walkway.

He didn’t give me a response other than rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“There’s a good chance nothing will come of this and I’ll end up finding a dead end,” I tried again after several minutes of silence. Spending more time with the sulky, rude bastard was unappealing, and that wasn’t factoring in how we were both pretending nothing happened between us. At least, that was what I assumed he was doing.

He shot me an incredulous look. “That shit nearly killed me. There's no way in hell I’m not getting to the bottom of this.”

Shit. I had no argument against that. Based on his infuriating smirk, he knew it too.

There was a small and stupid part of me that was disappointed that he was only coming because of the mystery and not to make sure I stayed safe. The thought was stupid as hell and something I immediately shoved to the side, telling myself I wanted to be rid of him.

I couldn’t let myself become more attached to him than I already was. He has proven time and again, that he didn’t respect or care for me. Giving any piece of myself to him was a recipe for heartbreak. No matter how much I desired him physically and wanted to get to know him, I needed to keep my distance. Physically and emotionally. After we figured out what the hell was going on, we’d go our separate ways, and I’d give myself a nice long vacation far away from him.