Right of the Victor

The day was coming closer and closer that either the Larua would sabotage us, or we would blow them to pieces. Audent knew their location already, and they were too invested in it to try and move elsewhere like Markus Accipiter had with his resources. It felt as if they were calling our bluff; they didn’t expect we’d actually try something. Nobody wants to believe their way of life is endangered, and will deny it when possible. From what I knew, the Larua had kept themselves secret for years, and were a bit smaller than the Torris. How, then, did Audent know where they were? If she was lying for some reason, all of us were at risk. If not, she may be playing an entirely different game. With the intent of finding out which of those it was, I went searching for her and found the woman on the roof.

The only way to the roof was a shaky wooden ladder in the alleyway that held the entrance to the hideout. Climbing my way up, I stuck my head over the edge and scanned it for a second before pulling the rest of my body after. I had to be careful now, never knowing when I would be plagued by further visions and hallucinations. Didn’t want to show everyone what was wrong. For some reason, I felt an indescribable need to be part of the next important thing happening with the Torris.

“Audent.”

She spun to face me, pulling a knife from…I wasn’t sure where she pulled it from. It seemed she always had a weapon ready somewhere on her body. Putting me hands up as an extra assurance that I wasn’t a threat, I kept approaching.

“Lengin. What do you want this time, little man?”

“Stop calling me that,” I responded by default, “I have questions. About you.”

“About me? Get on with it, then.” She raised an eyebrow, opening herself to the questions. Maybe she had nothing to hide after all.

“How do you know where the Larua are? Why would they be so stupid as to tell you that?”

Audent’s expression immediately shifted to one far more serious than before, and her grip on the knife she’d held also shook. As if she was trying to convince herself not to use it and it was taking all her energy. Fight or flight instincts flared up faintly inside me. Flight was a better option this time if it came to one of those two.

“I’ve got a better question, actually. Why should I tell you?” she smiled, but it was defensive. The suspicions I had were only getting stronger, and I wasn’t happy about it. Was Audent a traitor? How and why would that be possible?

“Even you can see how obviously suspicious it is. I don’t need to explain that.” I was sure that my point stood, but even then, I didn’t want to directly say I thought she might be tricking everyone. Audent wasn’t someone I wanted to be on the bad side of, for a variety of reasons.

“I can.” She sighed, then turned her face towards the horizon. Whether she was considering telling me or simply dismissing me, I wasn’t sure. For another ten minutes, we stayed in a stalemate of unspoken wills.

“I started the Larua. They’re just an offshoot of the Torris that chose to break away, stick to the shadows… it wasn’t much of a problem until recently, but we all know what’s happening now.” Audent revealed her reasons for knowing where the Larua were quite simply. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d been surprised by information since I joined this group of people. More surprising was the fact that Audent could simply handle such a huge thing in her mind. There was no winning for her. One of the two groups she had been a part of had to fall, and people would die.

“You tell nobody of this, got it? You’re one of the only ones to know, and neither of us would like what happens if you break my trust.” Audent looked down on me, sliding her knife back into concealment as she stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder. I was still processing what she’d told me. It made some sense, but not as much as I’d hoped. Part of me was disappointed that I’d been wrong, but more was gladness that Audent wasn’t a traitor to us all.

“Why haven’t they moved if you know where they are?” I ignored her request that I hold my silence. I didn’t plan to tell anyone, but didn’t want to make a promise in case I had to break it.

“So nosy…They don’t think I’ve got the nerve to do anything to them.”

“Sounds like they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“Oh, they don’t. They certainly don’t.” she let go of my shoulder and went back to sitting on the edge of the roof, staring out. This was one of the few buildings in the city that didn’t have tiled rooves slanting upwards ornately, but at least it gave those of us who came up there a good view. It was also a shorter place, but due to its location near the sea there was a clear gap between two buildings that let us watch the massive blue expanses shifting endlessly.

“Have you ever sailed?” I asked, switching the topic to avoid awkwardness. While it wasn’t the most intelligent or impressive question I’d asked, it was something I was genuinely interested in.

“No. Not all of us have got time or money for things like that.” She smirked, clearly assuming I’d been overseas before due to my noble background. “What’s it like?”

“I’ve never been, idiot.” I shook my head, “Not all nobles have a perfect life.”

Audent chose not to ask about that. She knew I probably didn’t want to talk about my past, and I appreciated her silence. There was no point in going over the same information everyone already knew about.

“Well do you want to sail someday, little man?” she said instead, “After this business with the Larua, maybe that can be figured out.”

“Yes,” I responded too fast, probably seeming like an overly excited child. “I would, yes.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Stunned by the simple kindness from Audent, I couldn’t say anything. Sometimes words aren’t necessary, though. I sat next to her on the edge of the roof and simply watched the sun turn the sky and water red as it sank into the sea.

I’d have loved it if the next few days could be as pleasant as the end of that one. Unfortunately, I still suffered from the visions of a mask, albeit less frequent and smaller. Even worse, people noticed. Everywhere I walked, whispers and rumors jumped around. They called me the insane noble. I hated it, needless to say. Especially when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to be part of the Larua expedition.

I guessed what was about to happen before it actually did. First, I was called into the specialized meeting room, finding myself alone with Audent and Allazo. Vargos wasn’t there, probably because of his reputation for harshness. As if they knew I wouldn’t take this well.

“It has been seen that you are not recovering,” Allazo started off slowly, eyes focused on mine. That was something I admired about him. He was always direct and stood firmly, even if the topic was a sensitive or problematic one. I couldn’t bring myself to respond, because I knew he was right. I also knew Audent was going to follow it up. When she did, it still hurt.

“Your condition just isn’t good enough. Hate to say it, dear, but you can’t come with us. I’m sorry.” Audent’s eyes and tone reflected regret, but also a faint hope that I wouldn’t fight her decision. I wanted to, but I knew it wouldn’t help. It wasn’t only my safety that would be put at risk, but that of the entire team if I was allowed to join them. A swordfighter going insane was a risk, especially if it was the best swordsman in the world. So, I didn’t argue for once.

“I understand.” I managed to keep my voice from cracking. Disappointment was the main thing I felt; it was tearing me apart inside, eating at me. Not disappointment at Audent or Allazo, no. They were just doing their jobs. Rather, it was a crushing disappointment directed at myself. I wasn’t able to fix my own mind, nor was I willing to let others help. This wasn’t like my swordsmanship, and I couldn’t simply work harder to get better. Until I killed the one who haunted me, at least. But that was much easier said than done…my thoughts were overwhelming me again, and I’d zoned out in front of the two people I respected most. Their stares almost hurt.

“I guess I’ll see you when you get back, then.” Tersely, I gave my reply and spun on my heel to quickly walk out, filled with anger and devoid of hope. On my way out, I heard one last thing from both Audent and Allazo in conversation.

“Really not sure what to do about that one.”

“We will do whatever we must. After the mission.”