Remembering You

It will be better tomorrow. I will finally be able to wake up and not feel any more pain. Tomorrow will be the day everything comes together. Tomorrow I will be happy. Tomorrow will be the best day I have had in a while. These are all lies.

Tomorrow... It may come. It may not. But I know for a fact this pain I feel will not go away. Tomorrow may just be another day I feel like a zombie in a fast-paced world. But then again it may not be that I feel like a zombie. I may just feel like a robot every day. Doing the same thing, never changing it up. Never going on an adventure. Tomorrow I may never be able to go on a new adventure. Tomorrow I may not be able to change up my ways and do something new. Tomorrow may never happen.

But then again, I could wake up and it all be a dream. I would have never gotten a call from your brother telling me you were in the hospital. I would have never moved down here, nor would I have told you to let go. But I never did say goodbye.

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and see you at my door one more time. Have you laugh at me and tell me I look like such a mess, but I need to go get dressed. Tomorrow I will wake up and you tell me that you love me. That we are going on an adventure. You always did that when you came to town. You always said that. That is why I always called out sick when you came to town. So, I could see you one last time. So, I could be with you. I would give anything to see you again tomorrow.

I would be happy once more. I would do anything to hear your voice one more time. Telling me how your drive was down here. How much being sober has changed you. How you loved the feeling of not being on the drugs you were on or drinking the alcohol you were. How you loved that I would just randomly look at you and smile. How I would smile when you kissed me. Or even how everything that happened between us made you believe we were soul mates; and trust I know that we were.

We literally went through hell and back. You had a rough life. From your troubled abuse to your drug abuse. I was there to help you get better. You were there to bring me back from the brink of my slow death where I starved myself in order to become beautiful to the world. We loved each other with all our hearts. And maybe tomorrow I will wake up and you will be here.

Tomorrow I will wake up from this dream. I would have never felt my heart and soul be torn in two. I would have never lost you. And I just wish I could see you tomorrow for one last time.

Tomorrow... I could tell you goodbye.