FULL NOVELXO Chapter 57
Chapter 57
-Dorothy-
Life went back to normal soon after the reformation. Ten young shifters had been appointed leadership roles on the council board and Ignatius was the spearhead of the new operation.
We weren't able to relax just yet, however. The threat of the Tally still loomed over our heads and already, a mere four months since Ignatius stepped in as the new Alpha, Angie had gotten word that other packs hard their own schemes to attack
The rival packs saw us as vulnerable and unstable. They were sorely mistaken. The Bielke was stronger than ever and working hard to come up with plans of our own in order to defeat our enemies. "Dorothy, you're not paying attention
I jumped on the spot as Rita's voice brought me back down to earth from where I was daydreaming up in the clouds "Sorry. sorry. My mind is all over the place today
It wasn't a lie either. I had been restless and irritable all day long snappish enough to drive Ignatius out of the house.
He said he was heading to a council meeting but I suspected he just wanted an excuse to get away from his murderous mate for the day. It was very likely he'd be arriving home with chocolate and ice cream in order to combat my unnecessary rage.
I tugged at the collar of my shirt as Rita waited for me to perform a shift for her. We had begun training again soon after the reformation. Even though I had already managed a perfect shift from human to wolf, Rita was insistent that there was still much to be learned.
"You're not acting like your usual self today. Rita commented, as she eyed me from a few feet away. "The look on Ignatius face when I ran into him earlier tells me you've been a little nightmare lately
"I don't mean to be so upset all the time. I mumbled, lowering myself down onto my haunches and clutching my stomach at the sudden pangs of pain that had been tormenting me all day.
I thought that maybe I was getting sick. "I've just been getting these weird stomach cramps and all of my clothes feel itchy
and uncomfortable.
"Is that so
Rita was looking at me with an odd expression in her birdlike eyes.
She knelt down next to me and felt her hands along my stomach "Interesting. How long have you been feeling like this!" "It started a few days ago
I swatted her hands away in incomprehensible frustration. Im sorry I don't know why everything is passing me off”
Rita stroked her chin deep in thought for a minute before asking "Have you been having any cravings recently?"
"I have an overwhelming urge to eat dirt. Does that count?"
The old woman lifted her finger to my face, suddenly excited. One last question. When was the last time you got your penod
1 gawked at her for a good long while my bram tried to catch on to what she implied with her questions. I tried to remember the last tour I had dealt with period cramps and all the achars and pains that came with my monthly cycle
It was usually a canal aflat in which Iguanas would keep has distance from ine for a day or two so as not to have his head. bitten off and then would comfort me with tea and cuddles while I cried over something inconsequential like the color of
the curtains
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I couldn't remember exactly when the last time was, nor could I recall exactly when my next period was due. All I knew that it had felt like it had been absent for a long time. "Rita, what are you saying?"
She felt my stomach again and took my hand to press my own palm against my belly. There was the tiniest bloat that I hadn't noticed before and Renee was reeling with excitement in my chest. My eyes widened in shock and I looked up at Rita in disbelief.
"Dorothy, I think-" Rita was smilling with tears in her eyes, tripping over her words in her excitement. "I think you're pregnant.
I didn't need a pregnancy test to know that it was true. From the moment Rita voiced it, all of the clues fell into place and I cupped a hand over my stomach in disbelief.
Rita was right, I could feel something nestled within me, something that I was determined to protect with all of my heart. From the way Renee was crooning in my chest I knew without a doubt that I was carrying Ignatius' child within me..
With the same influx of euphoria, that burst forth within me came a desperate and primal fear. I felt more vulnerable than ever out there in the open and immediately all of my senses told me that I needed to get inside and start preparing my nest- whatever that meant
I had a fierce drive to protect the infant inside of me and the threat of outsider attacks suddenly seemed to be looming directly over my head like there was danger around every corner.
I fought the instinctual parts of me with reason and logic. I was in no immediate danger sitting in my own garden outside of our house. My child was not in danger for the time being. There was no reason to panic just yet.
Once I had finally managed to calm my nerves, there was room for excitement to bloom. Rita hurred with me back inside where I stood in front of the large bathroom mirror to inspect my belly.
It was small, but there was definitely a bump between my protruding hip bones that hadn't been there before.
I was nervous to contact Ignatius, unsure of what he would think about the news, but Rita assured me that he would be ecstatic. I tentatively tested the curtain of his mind. "Ignatius, are you there?"
"Dorothy," his voice in my head was a soothing balm. "What's the matter? Do you need me to come home!"
"Well, um. Thave news
He was silent, awaiting my reveal. I was shedding nervous beads of sweat.
"Ignatius, I'm pregnant.
No response. His silence went on long enough that every nerve in my b*dy was tingling with unease. Then, all of a sudden
"You're pregnant?" has voice was small and astonished. "We're having a baby?"
My nerves were wrecked as I tried to read his energy. "How do you feel about that?"
"This is the happiest day of my life"
-Angie-
"What exactly is going on Lasked hesitantly, pressing the cell to my ear with my shoulder as I drove to the cottage on the cliffs. "Has something happened? Is Johan back?"
"No, nothing like that," Dorothy's voice cra ckled through the phone. "Just get here already! It's urgent," her voice buzzed with excitement and stirred the butterllars in my stomach that I had tried so hard to keep
still.
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I had no clue what all the fuss was about but Dorothy had called me and insisted I come over and so that was exactly what I was going to do.
I turned up the winding driveway and hurried to park my car. Dorothy came running out of the front door in a blur of red hair and an oversized sweater and leaped into my arms.
"We have good news!"
Ignatius followed Dorothy out along with Rita in tow. Both of them were smiling but Ignatius especially seemed aglow with excitement and childlike joy.
"Alright, tell me this good news then? What is so important that it was worth dragging me all the way over here on my off day?"
Dorothy released her arms from my neck and both me and my wolf ached internally at the departure.
She shuffled back and stood next to Ignatius who put his arm around her. Dorothy herself had her hands on her stomach like she was cupping something precious. Her grin was a mile wide.
I looked between her and Ignatius in bewilderment. "I don't understand"
It clicked a second later and my eyes settled on Dorothy's small stomach. "Oh."
Dorothy's gleeful laughter burst forth before she could contain it I'm going to be a mother! A useless one probably-but
Dorothy was pregnant. This new information hit me like a truck and I struggled to patch my face together into a smile. That's amazing.
I was conflicted, wrestling internally with both my duties to protect the Luna and my own personal feelings towards Dorothy. I had already accepted that we would never be together like my inner wolf wanted. My mind had accepted it, but it seemed my heart had not.
Dorothy noticed immediately that something was wrong and she tilted her head slightly in question. At that moment I hated that she knew me so well, I hated that we had grown so close in the first place. It would have been easier to let her go.
I forced a bigger smile and it felt like my face was cracking in places, the mask slipping even as I tried to force my composure. "You're going to make a great mother, Dorothy. I don't doubt that for a second." She still seemed skeptical about my reaction but she gave me a small smile and a grateful nod.
Ignatius picked Dorothy up and placed her on his shoulders while she protested in alarm. The reason we called you here was to ask you an important question," he said as Dorothy clung to his face in an attempt to find her balance.
"Put me down! What about the baby?"
"I would never drop you or the little guy, Ignatius patted her leg
"How do you even know it's a boy?" Dorothy huffed. "Up until an hour ago, you weren't even aware I was pregnant. Some mate you are."
Jenatios sampled at me and there was genuine compassion in those pale blue eve you if you would agree to be the godmother."
Iblinked at him. "You can't be seriou
"The reason we called you here was to ask
"If anything happens to us, Ignatius cut me off. "If anything happens to the both of us and let's hope it never comes to that you're the only person we trust to take care of our child."
I was speechless. Treacherous tears threatened to roll from my eyes and I wiped at them roughly. "What about Kita?"
The old woman shrugged my comment aside. Tim getting old. And besides. I've never been great with children. That was a
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lie, she had basically raised post of the young generation as if we were her own.
Dorothy and Ignatius had chosen me specifically. It was an honor. And a double-edged blade. I had their trust, enough of it for them to confine their child to my care if they were to be taken down.
It hurt to consider that I had been harboring my own feelings for the stubborn red-headed girl. It was wrong of me to want to tear apart such a beautiful budding family,
"Ignatius," I struggled to keep my voice even, holding back hot tears all the while, "I'm honored, really I am. Both of you have been kind to me."
I directed my next words at Dorothy personally, "You had every right to kill me on the spot after what I tried to do to you. But you showed me mercy, you even saved my life. The fact that you gave me room to prove myself even after all that is a gift I didn't deserve
I hung my head, unable to look into her glimmering green eyes a moment longer. "But I can't accept this. I'm sorry. I can't do what you're asking of me. It isn't fair on either of you"
Dorothy reached for my hand from on top of Ignatius shoulders. "What do you mean?"
"I just can't. I'm sorry, I need to go."
I couldn't stand to be there a moment longer, not when she was looking at me with such gentle eyes. My heart was breaking and I feared they might just hear the cra cks if I allowed a moment of silence "Don't go. Dorothy insisted. She climbed down from Ignatius shoulders and put a hand on my shoulder. I flinched at the electricity that p rickled on my skin wherever her fingers lay. "Let's talk." "Dorothy, no. 1-"
"Shut up!" she spoke over me, dragging me away through the garden by the arm "We talk
Ignatius and Rita can entertain themselves by discussing baby names. Ignatius has the worst taste in baby-naming."
"Hey!"
"Ignatius, darling, I love you but we are not naming our child Thor"
I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. "Thor, because it rhymes with Tor?
"Listen, Ignatius yelled as I was dragged around the house and out of sight, "Thor is a great name and I stand by that Tor agrees too."
"Whatever you say
Dorothy waved a hand over her shoulder without looking back. Her playful demeanor was dropped however when we rounded the corner and she turned to face me with her arms folded "What's going on, Angie? You could have said that you didn't want to. But that wasn't the case. You specifically said that you couldn't. Why? Why do you stillen every time I touch you?" "Dorothy, I seriously don't want to get into this right now, okay? I can't." The tears I had been holding back finally broke loose and trailed down my face like a shameful branding
"Why can't you?" Dorothy blocked my retreat. "What's going on with you, Angie? Do you still secretly resent me or something? Because you've been acting weird around me and I can't explain it. Don't think I haven't noticed"
"No!" I dropped to my knees and covered my face. It was all too overwhelming. I couldn't admit it. I couldn't lose her for good. "It's not that"
Dorothy stood over me. "Then what is it?"
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"I love you. Okay?" Thadn't peant to shout it but my voice rang out around the garden and sp ooked a few birds from the nearby trees. "I love you."
Dorothy dropped her arms to her side, confused for a moment.Angie what are you talking about. I already know that. I love you too. Why would that be a problem?"
Her jaw slacked when I didn't respond. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at her. I stared to the side as tears turned my vision watery and blurred.
"Oh, Dorothy said quietly. "Oh I see?
I expected her to yell. I expected her to condemn me and run back to Ignatius with news of my treachery. I did not expect her to sit herself down beside me as she had back when she had me in handcuffs. Dorothy plopped herself down at my side and fiddled with the long tendrils of grass at her feet. It was cool in the shade that the house provided for us
The strong scent of earth and midnight showers filled my nose. I could hear the ocean waves crashing in the distance. I thought I could hear the cogs turning in Dorothy's mind as she turned over my words, "How long?" she asked suddenly and I flinched.
"What
"How long have you felt this way? How long have you been holding these feelings about me?"
H ooked down at my dirty, beaten sneakers. It was time for a new pair.
"Honestly? Since you sat down with me that night of the New Year's party- before I was attacked. That night you saw straight through me. I had never been seen like that before."
Dorothy looked deep in thought as she twisted the strains of grass around her fingertips. "Okay"
We were silent for a while and I waited with bated breath to see how she would react. The last thing I wanted was to lose such a loyal friend. Both her and Ignatius meant the world to me.
"Angie, Dorothy finally spoke and I tilted my head to look at her sideways. "You know that my heart belongs to Ignatius,"
I do. That's why I've kept my feelings quiet until now. I just wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting a baby. It's like sealing a deal, although I know your heart belonged to him long before this." She nodded slowly. We watched a lizard scurry away along the will of the house. Somewhere nearby we could hear a bee droning
"I understand why you've kept quiet," Dorothy said. "You didn't want to get in the way of what Ignatius and I have. I know you care deeply for him 100,"
"Yeah"
Tm sorry I can't be what you want me to be. I can't be that person for you." Dorothy turned to face me and I forced myself to hold her gaze. "You mean the world to me Angie but I can't love you the way that you love me"
"I can understand that. I always have, really. The heart is just a tricky thing it doesn't care for logic and reason"
Dorothy smiled wryly. "Isn't that the truth"
I looked away from her. "So what now? Are you going to tell Igutius" I broke a twig in my palm. "Do you want me to leave? I can do that."
"Of course I don't want you to leave. And as for Ignatius, that's something we can discuss in our oven time. But I don't see it making a difference in how much he cares for you.
577
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"He can be stubborn and possessive, yes. But he can also be deeply empathetic and he trusts you more than most. It was Ignatius who proposed that we name you the godmother of our child. "I don't deserve that title"
"But you do, Angie. Dorothy was still looking at me, I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my skull. "And I would appreciate it. There's no one I would trust more with this burden"
"Even now? Even after you know the truth?"
"Of course. You're still the same Angie. I'm sorry there isn't anything I can do to fix this."
I tossed the broken twigs at our feet. "No, don't apologize. You've done enough."
"I heard you're going to he going away soon."
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Tensions are building up to the east of us. Some pack has caught wind of our new leadership and thinks they can strike while we re vulnerable, Fae and I are going to lead a small group to shut down their attacks."
*Be careful," Dorothy whispered, taking my hand in hers. "And come back in one piece. We need you now more than ever."
I closed my fingers around her hand. "I can do that. I'll be here to protect you until the day I die. All three of you."
Dorothy laughed and placed her free hand over her small belly. "Don't go dying anytime soon. And thank you, Angie. I appreciate that?
The birds I had scared away earlier returned to the nearby trees and picked up their chirping as I looked from Dorothy to the hand on her stomach. I could never be with her the way my heart longed to be. I could accept that
I thought that maybe then. I could be satisfied in protecting her. I could watch over her growing family and stand at her side when she needed me most. That would be enough.
1 steeled myself in my resolve. In my new decision, in my vow to protect the little redhead at my side.
I had watched her grow from an outsider runt with no credit to her name, to a beloved and mighty Luna. I couldn't have been prouder to call her my friend. There was one thing I had to do first though
I leaned forwards slightly and pressed my lips to hers. Dorothy didn't pull back. Our lips touched softly and the same electricity from her touch pr ickled over every pore on my skin,
She tasted like apple juice and salty sea air. I wanted to lace my fingers into her hair but I withheld my hands.
I loved her. I would always love her. But she wasn't mine.
I pulled away slowly and looked into her eyes. Dorothy looked back at me, her gaze steady. She had the most beautiful eyes.
"I'd be honored to be the protector of your child. You can count on me." I whispered, unwilling to leave this tiny piece of perfection she had given me. But reality was waiting, and this was a fantasy that could never be.
I got to my feet shakily and turned to go without another glance at the red-headed-girl I loved so much. "See you around. runt. Don't get yourself killed before I get back."
"Later beanpole."
I left the mansion that day with a lighter heart. It had hurt, it still hurt. It was a wound that would take time to heal. But Dorothy had relieved me of the burden of loving her. For that, I was beyond thankful There were many battles ahead of us, and I was ready to fight them all at her side.
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