Refusing my Alpha mate

Arthur

"I ask for your rejection." Her words didn't come out as firm as always, on the contrary, they came out broken, as if something inside her didn't want to utter even a syllable of what she said.

I opened my mouth to accept, it was the right thing, right?

That's what my reason tried to say, but my wolf went into such absurd, gigantic despair, that it was impossible, he couldn't handle it, and I wouldn't dare do that to him. At the same time, it didn't seem like exactly what she wanted, I mustered up all the remaining dignity I had, to say.

"I don't accept your rejection." Some of it I was conscious of saying, but some of it was my wolf, it caught the thought dancing through my head and held on to it. And it was only after I said that my wolf calmed down, I exhaled in relief, but I couldn't feel relieved. If I were to succumb to my instincts I would take the 4 steps that separated Clair and me, wrap her in my arms, kiss her right there, and take her right there, in front of everyone if I had to. It was what I wanted, what I needed. But it was far from happening, especially with her asking for rejection.

I didn't really know what to do, I stared at Clair, who looked at me with wide eyes and lips parted in astonishment, it was as if she had planned everything, except that I wouldn't accept rejection from her.

She even took a step back, confused, without understanding, she looked at me again with her eyebrows furrowed.

"You can't, you need to… accept…." That's what she managed to say, but each word had a pause, a hesitation.

"I don't need it, there is no law that forces me to accept it," I responded looking directly at her, I couldn't look away, it would be too much to have to see familiar faces looking at us in astonishment, but the atmosphere of tension was so enormous, and the silence was so deadly, that I could feel it in my bones.

She released the air from her lungs and left.

I turned my back, there was simply no way I could continue at a ball after that. I thought about going after her, but I knew it wouldn't do any good, I slowly walked outside, while finishing a shot of whiskey, and when the cold breeze hit my face, I threw the glass against the wall, shattering every inch of the glass on the floor, the same way my chest was. The scream that came from my chest was more animal than human.

And I let him come, my wolf came with all his anger, pain, and resentment, tearing the suit I was wearing to pieces, and I ran.

I ran as fast as I could, I ran until I felt my blood go to my paws and leave my brain that I couldn't reason, but when I reached a hill something told me to look back, it was like a magnet, I turned around.

The Pack House and the ballroom had their lights shining, and we could still hear laughs in the background, but a blue and red dot on the balcony to the left was where my gaze went, it was looking at us, I knew, he knew. I turned around, and ran harder, faster, as if by running I could dilute what I felt, as if the wind in my fur could erase the resentment in my heart, but I couldn't, nothing could, only she could.

I simply don't remember exactly how long I ran, it was dangerous to run at night among the Packs, but I didn't care, my wolf didn't care, I started to consider accepting Clair's rejection and ending this agony, but something told me that It wasn't right, my wolf screamed that it wasn't right, and I, more than anyone else, honored my wolf's opinion.

I returned to my Pack House, and the sun was already starting to rise, I found my parents having breakfast, along with Jacob and Renne, the Betas, and Monica's parents, no smell, no sign of her, I didn't dare ask, she must have spent the night with her current partner, I don't blame her for that, and in fact, at that moment I envied her.

It was as if my entire body was itching, there were constant needles of agony, that something was screaming inside me that would only happen with Clair nearby, it was as if just thinking about her gave me chills, and at that moment I feared the time when I needed to see her face to face.

"Are you okay son? Where were you?" My father asked me, staring at me, naked, near the door, I had just transformed and entered.

"Yes, I think," I responded by running my hands through my hair. "I don't know for sure. I spent the night running, my wolf needed it, and now I need sleep." I said, taking a loaf of bread from the table and going up to my room.

No one dared to wake me, and I didn't feel like leaving, but I heard a loud knocking on my door, I didn't even need to ask, I knew from the smell, that it was Tommy.

I got up and opened it for him.

"Come in, friend," I said and went straight to the shower, Tommy followed me to the bathroom and leaned against the door frame while I got into the shower.

"You don't smell like sex, so you didn't find your mate this time, right?" I asked feeling the drops of hot water run down my body, but I couldn't feel relaxed.

"No, not this time," Tommy said running his hands through his hair.

"But believe me, it's better not to find your mate yet than to ask for your rejection in front of the whole ball," I said, still with my eyes closed, letting the water run down my face.

"Are you okay?" I know his question was just out of concern because I was visibly unwell.

"I will be," I responded by turning to him and actually starting to wash.

Tommy knew me very well, and he stood there, just being, silently keeping me company. I thought the shower could wash away some of my feelings, but it was in vain, at least I felt better. I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my waist.

"What's your plan? What to do now?" Tommy asked, moving away from the door and giving me passage to the room. He knows me too well and I always need a plan, I always have my next steps planned.

"I'll wait for her to come and talk," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"How are you so sure she's coming to talk?" Tommy asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I know her, and I just know, I know she's coming," I responded and with the most perfect timing in the universe her sweet, floral scent flooded my nose and was so strong that my wolf almost came, I knew it was Clair before the little hands knocked on my door.

"Arthur, it's Clair I wanted to talk to." Her velvety voice made me sigh.

"Okay, I know the stories about mate bonds, but this is almost scary," Tommy said shaking his head. I didn't even think when I opened the door, little Clair looked at me with wide eyes seeing me only in a towel. "I'll let you guys talk alone, I'll see you later Archie," Tommy said waving at Clair and walking out the door.