Redeeming 6: Boys of Tommen #4

Aoife

“MAM!” I screamed, throwing the front door open, and barreling into my house on Thursday afternoon. How I had managed to drive home from school without crashing, I could only put down to my desperation to get to safety. To get to my mother. “Mam!”

“Aoife?” With a tea towel in her hands, and a startled look on her face, my mother appeared in the kitchen doorway. “What’s wrong?”

“Mam!” I cried, moving straight for her. “He lied.”

“Who lied?” she demanded, sweeping me up in her arms, as I collapsed against her. “What happened, Aoife? Who lied, pet?”

“Kev.” Crying hard and ugly, I wrapped my arms around my mother’s neck and clung to her for all I was worth. “He told Paul, Mam. He told everyone at school.”

“He did what?”

“Joey knows – he found out in class,” I cried, tightening my hold on her, as my entire body racked and heaved with sobs. “I didn’t even get a chance to tell him myself.”

“Oh Jesus. How did he take it?”

“How do you think?” I cried. “Horribly. He’s furious with me for keeping it from him.”

“Oh, Aoife.”

“He didn’t deserve that, Mam,” I sobbed. “To be told like that in front of everyone.” I shivered violently at the memory. “It was so wrong.”

“I can only imagine.”

A few moments later, the front door swung inwards, and my brother appeared, looking red-faced and flustered.

“Aoif.” Holding his hands up, Kev approached with caution. “Before you say anything else, just know that I didn’t know that Paul was going to—”

“You bastard!” Not giving him a chance to finish speaking, I swung around and lunged for my brother, scratching and clawing at his face, as I stooped to a level of despair I had never felt before in my life. “How could you do this to me?”

“You did this to yourself,” Kev roared back, snatching my wrists up and pinning my arms to my sides. “Keep your goddamn hands to yourself, Aoife.”

“I hate you,” I screamed, ripping my hands free only to shove him in the chest. “Do you hear me? I fucking hate you, Kevin.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not too crazy about you, either.”

“Stop it, you two,” Mam snapped, coming to stand between us. “That’s enough.”

“She’s the one throwing slaps.”

“Because he told our entire school that I’m pregnant.”

“I didn’t tell the entire school. I told a few close friends.”

“Since when is my ex your close friend?”

“Since always,” my brother roared back.

“Bullshit,” I strangled out. “Paul was only ever nice to you because he was with me.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

“Because it’s true.”

“You don’t have authority over who I’m friends with, Aoife,” Kev sneered. “And if you took your head out of your ass long enough to see what’s happening around you, then you’d know that I’ve been friends with Ricey since first year. We actually got a lot closer this past year.”

“I wonder why?” I rolled my eyes. “You are such an idiot.”

“Not everything is about you, Aoife,” Kev snapped. “He actually gives me the time of day – unlike that asshole you’ve attached yourself to who can barely muster up the energy to acknowledge my existence.”

“Why should Joey acknowledge you?” I demanded. “It’s not like you’re even remotely friendly towards him to begin with. You never have been. Every time he comes over you act all superior around him, all the time, and it’s disgusting. Seriously, you talk about me having my head in my ass, when you’re the one with your nose cocked in the air, walking around thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

“I am better than him.”

“Because you’re school smart, and he’s not? Because you’re going to university, and he isn’t? Because you’ve been given the luxury of concentrating on your studies, while he’s had to work since he was twelve? You think that makes you better than him?”

“See, you’re trying to insult me, when all you’re really doing is listing off positive characteristic traits.”

Ugh.

“Kevin, Aoife,” Mam tried to interject. “Let’s just back up a second and breathe.”

“Newsflash, asshole, there’s a whole big world out there that won’t give a crap about how many points you get in the leaving cert, or how high you rank in your class,” I shouted, ignoring our mother’s request. “And if you keep this holier than thou attitude up, I guarantee you won’t last a week in the real world. So, you can go on thinking that you’re better than my boyfriend, but the truth is you couldn’t hold a candle to him,” I spat. “You’re a spoilt, pampered, little boy and Joey is a real man. You could try your whole life and never come close to being on his level!”

“If not being on his level means not having to slog it out under the bonnet of a car for the rest of my life, with permanently oil-stained hands, for a shitty wage at the end of the week, that won’t secure a decent mortgage, then you won’t hear me complaining.”

“Oh my god, you are such a snob,” I screamed, throwing my hands up.

“Why?” Kev demanded. “Because I’m a realist? Because I’m stating facts? Because I’m pissed that my sister has thrown her future away for an asshole from Elk’s Terrace, with no decent prospects?”

“Because you’re ungrateful,” Mam interjected, looking beyond hurt. “All of those fancy computer games lining the shelves in your bedroom were paid for with oil-stained hands. Every stitch of clothes on your body, and every morsel of food you’ve put in your mouth since the day you were born came from those same hands. Your father’s hands. Your father the mechanic, who has spent most of his life busting his bollocks to give his children a better life than the one he had.”

“Which is exactly why you should be praising me for appreciating the sacrifices that you and Dad have made for us, and berating her for throwing them back in your face.”

“How have I thrown anything back in their faces?”

“By being thick enough to let that scumbag drug-addict between your legs,” Kev snarled. “You do realize that the father of your grandchild is a fucking junkie, don’t ya, Mam?”

“Shut the hell up, Kevin,” I hissed, lunging for him once more.

“Stop,” Mam warned, separating us again. “Calm down, Aoife. This isn’t good for you.”

“He isn’t good for her.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!”

“Look at you,” my brother roared. “Look at the state of you. Picking fights in your condition. You know why, don’t you? It’s because he’s after rubbing off on you. You had everything going for you, and you threw it away.” He shook his head in disgust. “For him.”

“What’s going on in here?” Dad asked then, strolling into the kitchen, lunchbox in hand – and yes, his hands were stained with engine oil. He looked from me to Kev, and his brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you all shouting about?” He looked to Mam. “It’s lunchtime, Trish. Why are the twins not at school?”

“Nothing,” Mam was quick to interject, moving to our father. “It’s nothing, Tony.”

“Enjoy becoming his mother, Aoife,” Kev continued, ignoring our parents, as he glowered at me. “Because the entire town knows what kind of a doormat she is. You should take some tips from her sometime, because that’s all you’ll amount to now.”

“Shut up, Kevin,” Mam hissed. “Not another goddamn word.”

“Mother?” Dad blinked in confusion. “Whose mother?”

“This is your fault,” Kev snapped, turning his accusing glare on our father. “You brought him into our lives.”

“Please, Mam,” I groaned, dropping my head in my hands, while Mam tried and failed to silence my furious brother. “Just make him stop talking.”

“Who?” Dad demanded, looking wholly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Aoife’s pregnant!” Kev roared, jabbing a finger in my direction, and with those words, he blew my world to smithereens. Again. “Off that piece of shit that you’re so hellbent on seeing the best of.”

My father reeled back like the words my brother spoke had physically struck him.

“Kevin,” Mam strangled out and then quickly placed her hands on my father’s chest. “Tony, breathe. It’s alright, love, just take a breath.”

“Yeah, golden boy doesn’t seem so perfect now, does he?” Kev taunted, looking angrier than I’d ever seen. “Not when he’s knocked up your daughter, huh, Dad?”

“What are you…?” My father’s panicked eyes flicked to me. “Aoife?”

“Dad, I didn’t mean… I’m so sorry,” I sobbed, hands hanging limply at my sides. I looked at my brother and shook my head. “I hate you.”

“I tried to tell you about him,” Kev continued to shout, aiming his pain at our father now. “But you wouldn’t be told. I warned you about what kind of person he was, but you insisted on hiring him – on treating him like the son you always wanted but never got with me!”

“Kevin.”

“Well, congrats, Dad,” Kev croaked out, voice breaking. “You finally got your wish. You’ll have a grandchild off him soon enough that will cement him deeper into the family. You’ll finally have the son you always wanted.”

Unable to handle another second of watching my world fall around me, I bolted from the kitchen, ignoring my mother’s pleading and father’s shouting, as I made a beeline for the front door, desperate to escape.

“Aoife,” Kev called out, hurrying after me. “Wait up.“

“Don’t touch me,” I spat, yanking my arm free from his hold, and I glared up at him. “And don’t ever speak to me again.”

“I didn’t…” my brother began to say, but then jutted his chin out defiantly and hissed, “He had to know.”

“It wasn’t your place to tell him,” I countered shakily, feeling the ultimate form of betrayal at the hands of the person who’d shared a womb with me. “It wasn’t your place to tell anyone. It was mine, and you took that choice away from me.”

Regret flickered in his eyes.

“You’re so jealous of Joey’s relationship with Dad that you threw your own twin under the bus to get one up on him.”

“Aoife.”

“You literally destroyed my entire world, Kevin.” I shook my head, not bothering to wipe the tears from my cheeks. Fresh ones would just take their place. “Why?”

“I didn’t…” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Look, at least it’s out in the open now. If anything, I did you a favor.”

“You told my father before I could,” I choked out, chest heaving. “You told Paul who told my baby’s father before I could.”

Confusion filled his eyes. “Joey didn’t know?”

I shook my head.

“I didn’t know that.” Sighing heavily, he reached for my hand. “Shit, Aoif, I didn’t—”

“No.” I held a hand up and warned him off. “Stay back.”

“Aoife.”

“I mean it,” I snapped. “I’m ashamed to call you my brother.”

“And you think I’m proud to call you my sister?” he shouted back, cheeks reddening. “Proud to have a slut in the family? You’re the embarrassment here, Aoife. You’re the one bringing down the tone. You’re the screw-up, not me,” he tossed out defensively. “It’s not my fault that you didn’t tell the guy. He’s the first one you should’ve told.”

“Not your fault?” I gaped at him. “This is all your fault. You might have the brains when it comes to school, but you’re a cruel, spoilt, jealous bastard, without a shred of heart, and I will never forgive you for this. Do you hear me, Kevin? I will never forgive you!”

“Fine,” he shot back defensively, tone thick with emotion. “See if I care.”

“Oh, you’ll care, you spiteful little shit,” I growled, backing up the garden path towards our gate. “And you’ll be sorry.”

“What are you going to do?” he called after me. “Set your guard dog on me? Again?”

“I pulled him off you the last time,” came my heated reply. “Don’t think I’ll make that mistake twice.”

“And I let him off the hook the last time,” my brother reminded me. “Don’t think I’ll make that mistake twice.”

“No, Kev, I won’t set my boyfriend on you,” I hissed, shoving the gate open. “Because, unlike you, I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’ve never fought your own battles a day in your damn life,” I practically screamed. “You’re too busy hiding behind Mam’s skirt.”

“Bullshit.”

“Oh, you think you’ve just sailed through secondary school based on your stellar personality alone?” I demanded. “No, asshole, you’ve been wrapped in bubble wrap for six years, because I’ve had your back the entire time.”

“I never asked you to do that for me.”

“You didn’t have to ask me,” I bit out. “That’s what family does. They look out for each other. They protect each other. They have each other’s backs.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Or at least, that’s what I thought we were, but clearly, I was wrong.”

“You’re overreacting here,” he muttered, rubbing his jaw.

“No, you’re underestimating the damage you’ve done to our relationship,” I corrected, pointing a finger at him. “I’m done having your back, Kev. I’m done being your sister. It ends today. And good luck getting Mam back on side now that she’s finally seen you for what you truly are – a fucking brat!”

“I was upset,” he tried to defend himself, throwing his hands up. “You and Mam were keeping secrets, and spending so much time together—”

“And poor little Kev spat the dummy because he wasn’t getting his mammy’s undivided attention like he’s used to getting every second of the day since we were born,” I filled in, tone laced with sarcasm. “Well, boo-fucking-hoo, you sap. So, Mam gave me a sliver of attention for once after you’ve spent eighteen years monopolizing her time. Get the hell over yourself!”

“Like your boyfriend has done with our father?”

“If you have a problem with Dad’s relationship with Joey, then take it up with Dad,” I shot back, wholly enraged. “Don’t ruin my life because you want to put a wedge between them.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do.”

“That’s exactly what you were trying to do,” I snapped. “And yeah, you might have achieved it, but you also lost yourself a sister in the process.”

“Aoife, come on,” he called after me. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Don’t come too close, Kev,” I called over my shoulder, as I stormed down the footpath away from my brother. “You wouldn’t want the neighbors seeing you associating with the family slut.”

“What did you say to her, ya little bollox?” Rushing into the garden, with Mam hot on his heels, Dad called after me, “Aoife, get back here in your condition.”

“Don’t go running off like this,” Mam added. “Come back inside, love. Your father’s not going to shout at you.”

“Leave me alone!” I screamed, breaking into a run, as I raced down the footpath, needing to get as far away from my family as possible.

Because I couldn’t do this.

It was too much.

I couldn’t handle the emotions rushing through me.

I was too close to my breaking point to take another hit.

However, when I rounded the corner at the end of my street, and smacked into a hard chest, that’s exactly what happened.

“Holy shit.” A familiar pair of hands came around me, moving to grip my shoulders and steady me. “Molloy.” Joey was breathing hard and fast, clearly having sprinted all the way over here from school. “The fuck are you running off to?”

I couldn’t answer him because I had no idea where I had intended to go.

I only knew that he was exactly where I needed him to be.

“Joe.” Unable to shoulder this crippling weight by myself for a second longer, I slumped against him, needing to feel his arms around me in this moment more than I needed my next breath. “Joe.”

“It’s okay.” His arms came around me, tight and full of comfort, as he pulled me into his embrace. “Shh. It’s okay.”

Burying my face in the front of his school jumper, I clutched the fabric at his back, and let him take my weight, taking every ounce of support he was offering me. Because I needed his support. I needed him.

“I’ve got you, Molloy.”

“Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t.”

“I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner,” I cried. “For you having to find out like you did.“

“Listen to me.” With his hands on my cheeks, and his fingers tangled in my hair, he forced me to look up at him. “Don’t apologize. I get it, okay?”

“You get it?”

“I get it.” He nodded slowly. “Why you didn’t tell me. What you were trying to do. I don’t like it, but I get it.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “I’m just so fucking sorry for being the kind of person that you felt you needed to protect, when it should have been the other way around.”

Unable to tear my eyes away, I watched as Joey absorbed the brunt of the metaphorical axe that I had just swung down on his neck – on his entire world.

I could see it all in his eyes.

Everything he wanted to say, everything I wanted to say, but never would.

All of the fear.

The regret.

The hurt.

The guilt.

Expelling a pained breath, Joey lowered his face to mine and gently rested his brow against mine. “I’m so sorry, Molloy.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and my breath came in short puffs, as I reached up and covered his hands with mine. “I’m sorry, too, Joe.”

“I don’t know what to say here,” he admitted in a hoarse tone. “I’m scared to fucking death right now, so I can only imagine how you’ve been feeling. But I’m here, okay?” He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “I’m here and I’m going nowhere.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, eyes locked on mine. “I won’t run.”

“You swear?”

“I swear,” Joey replied, tone laced with sincerity. “I won’t leave you alone in this.”

“Then that’s all you need to say,” I sobbed, nuzzling his cheek with mine. “Because that’s all I need to know.”