Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 3)

He held me for so long that time basically had no meaning. Days could have passed and yet neither of us moved. Maybe we were in competition for who could hold on the longest, and for once, it was a competition I hoped we both won.

“I’m going to need you to explain everything to me,” Shadow eventually rumbled from above. “My memory is still clouded with events that I believe have been falsely planted there to confuse me.”

It made sense that Dannie would have used different methods to mask our memories. We were all vastly unique individuals with differing powers. She was far too freaking smart, and that in and of itself was terrifying because it had only been the spell Shadow had already layered on me, and my own tenacious personality, that had kept her from fully succeeding.

“Dannie, your mother, has been corrupted by the sunburst stone,” I said, leaning back to see his face. I kind of never wanted to stop looking at his face now that it was in my life again. “She stole all of our memories to restore the balance. I was never supposed to be created, so she sent me back to Torma to be the alpha-mate—”

Shadow’s grip tightened as he slowly drew me up off my feet until we were near eye level. “To Torma? With no memories?”

I swallowed hard because his beast was so close to the surface.

His jaw tightened. “Did Torin touch you?” He said it slowly, without inflection, but the cold detachment was far scarier than shouting could have ever been.

I didn’t pretend to misunderstand what he was asking. “He never touched me sexually. I didn’t remember you, but I sure as fuck remembered what a piece of shit he was.”

There was a slight thawing in his gaze, and the grip lessened enough that feeling returned to my limbs. “Why would my mother allow you to keep those memories when she wanted this plan to succeed?”

I’d thought on this a lot during my endless cycle of overthinking last night. “I have two theories,” I said. “One, she still held some love for me, even with her transformation, and in that regard didn’t want me to be completely vulnerable against beings who had hurt me in the past.”

Shadow’s expression grew darker. “And two?”

“Two, the promise that you made to me, where I would never be vulnerable to my pack again, was a strong bond that Dannie either didn’t know about or couldn’t break. It was what allowed me to remember as much as I did and fight them off when I needed to.”

His chest was rumbling now, and with the beast hovering close by, I had to calm the situation. “Shadow,” I said firmly, drawing all of his attention to my face. “Thanks to you, I’ve never touched, fucked, or orgasmed from any man except you.”

That was exactly what he wanted to hear, and when his lips met mine, a sigh so deep, it was near a groan escaped. “How the fuck…?” I murmured against his lips. “Dannie must be scary powerful to make me forget you.”

Shadow didn’t like that reminder, his kiss turning harder, and my brain went on a little vacation from thought. “My beast knew you,” he finally said, his voice a husky rumble. “Even if I didn’t remember, my instinct knew you were mine. Nothing in any world would have gotten through to me except you, Sunshine. I need you to know that.”

I nodded, my lips trembling again. “I know. I felt that so fiercely, and as soon as I remembered, I came for you.”

His body stiffened, and it was clear that what I’d just said bothered him. “I should have been strong enough to remember you.”

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, holding on with all of my strength. “The only reason I remembered was because of your spell. You did save me… or more accurately, we saved each other.” He didn’t appear satisfied by this response, so I pushed on. “More so, you did remember me without any outside help. You destroyed every damn doorway from this place except the one to Earth. There was only one reason you’d have done that.”

Shadow made a disparaging sound. “Maybe that was for the shifters.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “Don’t even try to play. You love me. I knew it from the first time you threw me over your shoulder.”

He went very still, blinking down at me, and I wondered if maybe I’d gone too far. I mean, I had been joking around, and while I knew I loved him, Shadow had never been particularly forthcoming with those exact words. It didn’t matter to me because actions spoke much louder, and his told me that I was important to him.

“Love,” he repeated, and I didn’t bother to look away or be embarrassed. If he didn’t love me, it wouldn’t break me. Mostly because he’d get there eventually. My plan to grow on him like some sort of exotic fungus was in full swing.

“Love is a human word,” he rumbled. “A human word they throw around with such careless abandon.”

Where was the lie? Torin had told me he loved me more than once, and I knew for a fact that he didn’t love anyone except his power and reflection. And maybe Jaxson, because… bros, man.

“I don’t have a better word,” I said to Shadow, “but for what it’s worth, I do love you.”

His jaw was as tense as the rest of him, and normally, that expression would be worrisome, but I saw that this was shock. Shock that was soon replaced with fire as he cupped my face.

“You’re the match to my soul, Sunshine,” he rumbled through the power surrounding us. “You are my one. The only being I would destroy worlds for, and I’m afraid I did just that.”

I snorted. “Yeah, Gaster is not very happy with you. You’re going to have some cleaning up to do when you get out of here.”

My library could not be collateral damage in this war. It just couldn’t.

“I was no more than rage and cold, cruel intent,” Shadow admitted. “I would have killed everyone.”

My chest grew so tight. “Do you know what happened to Midnight, Angel, and Simone? And the rest of your crazy band of brothers? You… You didn’t kill them, right?”

Shadow’s brow furrowed, and I had a feeling he was sorting through memories, trying to figure out what was real and what had been falsely planted by Dannie. I relaxed a little when I saw no devastation on his face. “Simone is with Lucien,” he finally said, “on Valdor. And Angel is back in the Honor Meadows. I sent them to their lands, broke a lot of energy barriers through those lands, and then destroyed the Solaris system.”

“And Midnight?”

“I have no idea,” Shadow admitted, with reluctance. He really hated not knowing everything. “I can’t sense it anywhere close by, so maybe still in the realm?”

That had been my thought too. My hope. Because I refused to believe it was gone-gone.

“Can you get the Solaris System back?” I tentatively asked, not sure I wanted to hear the response if it was a no.

I felt zero reassurance when Shadow huffed. “It took me hundreds of years to establish it originally, but I can sense that the base of the power is still intact, and I’m a lot stronger than I was back then, so… I believe I can.” His eyes darkened into pits of golden lava. “But before we try that, there’s one thing I need first.”

My pussy spasmed because she knew what was going on.

Shadow walked me back until my legs hit his bed, and when I was crowded between the massive mattress and an equally massive being, I felt no fear or claustrophobia. I felt alive. The parts of me that had been ragged and broken were finally moving back into the places they’d originally been before Dannie had taken a sledgehammer to us.

Dannie.

She was an issue we’d have no choice but to deal with later, but for now, the focus was… elsewhere.

Shadow’s hands closed around my waist as he slowly dragged me up his body. I attempted to wrap my legs around him, but he was having none of that, his power holding my limbs. Even as I arched to try to rub my naked parts against his naked parts, desperate to ease the ache inside, he stopped this as well.

His power held me; his hands controlling every move I made.

“I cannot change my nature for you tonight,” he warned.

I knew what that one sentence meant. I was getting the full ride, pun intended. An experience that was almost certainly going to destroy parts of me, but it was all good. That wasn’t a glib, throwaway statement either. Having lost Shadow once, I would take any sort of physical pain before I’d do that again. Whatever happened today was a gift.

His fire surged, as did mine, and I felt the scrape of his tongue and five o’clock shadow across my sensitive skin as he dragged his tongue and mouth down my stomach, following the line of my body. He held me up off the bed as he devoured every part of me he could touch, and only a god would have the strength to do what he was, using nothing more than his triceps, chest, and shoulder muscles to keep me elevated.

When he released some of his control on me, my hands scraped across his skin, searching for traction, until I managed to slide them into his hair. It was only as I tugged on the short strands that I realized Shadow was no longer in possession of his signature tousled wave. My eyes flew open, and despite his intensely pleasurable journey, which had now reached the junction of my thighs, I forced myself to examine his shorn locks. Now, with the light of our fires burning around us, I saw him clearly.

Holy fuck me sideways.

Shadow was always beyond hot, dangerously sexy, and incredibly perfect, but this new haircut was… damn. It was like every plane of his masculine face was on view for me, giving him a scarier vibe, while taking away nothing of his beauty.

“Your hair,” I whispered, sounding like an awestruck teenager who had just met her favorite rock star. “What happened to it?”

He rumbled, power vibrating my clit, and I clenched my legs to try to stave off an orgasm. It was always so fast. Too fast. And despite knowing I’d probably have ten orgasms tonight, I wanted to make this first one last.

I tugged on his hair again, or at least attempted to, my fingers slipping through the short strands. “Shadow, what happened to your hair?”

“I cut it.”

Just as I was running that simple statement through my head, he bit into my thigh. A hard, punishing action, which I fucking loved. To return the favor, I wrapped my thighs tightly around his head, waiting for him to take control of me again.

Which he did, his hands closing around my waist as he bit into me again, over and over, across my thighs and along the sides of my pussy. It hurt, but with each bite of pain, followed by a swirl of his tongue, my body forgot everything except feeling the dual sensations. When his teeth finally closed down on my clit, I screamed, unable to stop the heavy swirls of arousal from exploding through my body.

Before I even had a chance to ride out that orgasm, he shifted positions, holding my body above him as he buried his face in my pussy. His happy groan as he tasted me properly was enough to have me crying out again, and as I thanked the fucking gods for this moment, I found myself flat on my back, Shadow crowding over the top of me.

Staring up at him, I felt the swelling of heat in my chest as all my feelings tried to make themselves known at once.

“Why did you cut your hair?” I asked softly.

I needed to know what he’d gone through when we’d been apart. I needed to fill in the blanks of what I’d been missing.

Shadow’s expression didn’t change, the flare of arousal in his gaze about as strong as I’d ever seen from him. “Nothing was the same without you. I didn’t know why, but I knew that I was missing something vital to my survival. I searched, and I destroyed. More than just the Solaris System. I stripped myself bare so I could build myself up again and find the fundamental part of my soul that was missing. Only you weren’t there.”

Fuck. He might not think the word “love” meant much, but he spoke a language of love without even realizing it.

“Never again,” I said fiercely, reaching for him, and for once, he allowed me to drag him down to my level. Our kiss was bittersweet and perfect.

A kiss to soothe and heal.

A kiss to cleanse our pain from many bitter nights apart.

A kiss to break the final dredges of Dannie’s spell.

A kiss of love. No matter what my beast might think.