Queens and Monsters: Chapter 52
“Are you headed back to the cottage?” Gigi pulled down another bottle of wine and inspected the label. I agreed to help her gather supplies from the Wren wine cellar. They were hosting an old-fashioned Blood Falls picnic over the weekend.
“Yep. I miss it. I’m looking forward to getting back in class.”
She added the bottle to the box and selected another from the rack. “I miss my research. I’ve never taken such a long break before and I’m worried I’ll have to start all over.”
“Never?” I pulled up onto the table and let my legs swing. Help was a relative word. I wasn’t so much physically helping her with supplies as I was providing emotional support.
“No.” She replaced the bottle and moved to the next rack. “I love my family and I know we’re a very community focused species, but I really enjoy getting away from them. I think I need the freedom to be myself, not just Georgiahana Wren, member of the House of Wren. I’m Gigi. Reader, researcher, genius.”
I laughed. “Genius?”
She shrugged. “What? I was trying to go for a play on playboy billionaire genius and ran out of ideas.” Then she tapped her chin. “I’m not not a genius.”
“Okay…so can I catch a ride?”
“Of course.” Then she turned and narrowed her eyes. “Dray isn’t taking you back?”
Not having a car had never been an issue before, but now that I had to rely on Gigi or Dray for rides between the House and school, I was starting to think a car of my own might be a priority. It would be a good use of that money my grandfather insisted on giving me.
“No. And I’d just shift back, but I have a lot of stuff to take with me.”
“I’m happy to give you a ride. Why isn’t Dray coming?”
I should have known Gigi would have questions. She was nosy and insistent and I loved her…except when she directed all that nosiness on me. “I need time to sort out my shit. Dray being there will just confuse me.” It was a lot to take in. My humanity status had changed. That alone was a huge thing I hadn’t truly digested, and then on top of it was the whole two families, a war, and then death. And possibly a much bigger war that might end the universe as we knew it.
As much as I loved Dray, I needed some time to get my feet under me without his physical presence constantly overloading my senses.
“Ah.” She grabbed one more bottle of wine, filling the box. “That makes sense. He’s…overwhelming.”
Understatement of the year. “Besides, he has his own business to attend to. I don’t want to distract him.”
She paused, eyebrows rising. “Business?”
I shifted on the table, wondering how much everyone already knew, versus how much I knew because I slept beside him each night. “He and Cass are going to the Black Forest.”
Gigi’s mouth opened a little. “Really.”
“The ghost sightings around the world already had all the Houses on alert, but given our own recent events—”
“Reaching out to the main House makes sense. Got it.” She picked up the box. “How do you feel about that?”
I shrugged and hopped off the table. “It will give him something to focus on while I’m away. And I think there’s a lot of information out there, different Houses have seen or felt different things that need to be catalogued.”
“That makes sense.”
“What about Ryddyck?” My question stopped her in her tracks before she reached the stairs. The mysterious male remained…mysterious.
“What about him?”
“Is he going back to school with you?”
She balked. “Of course not! He’s staying here to help with research.”
“But you’re the woman from his dreams.” I teased.
“And he’s the man from mine.” She bit out, not enjoying my playfulness one bit.
I felt a little bad about that.
She sighed. “I don’t know how to be a key for a lock. I don’t understand most of what he says. And since he doesn’t know who he is or what he is, I figure some time apart is good. He can figure himself out while I go back to my research. When he can form a coherent thought, I’ll listen.”
“Makes perfect sense.”
“Grab the basket of vegetables.” She spun and started up the stairs to the kitchen.
“Hey Gigi?” I really did feel bad for teasing her. Clearly she wasn’t dealing well with being part of a prophecy. I knew a thing or two about that, which made it worse.
“Yeah?” She paused and sighed again.
“Book club?”
She froze and then a smile slowly lit up her face. “Tonight? You and me?”
“Yeah. Just you and me.”
We turned the library into our own personal dream come true. A fire roared in the fireplace. Every candle was lit. We even strung up some twinkle lights for added effect. Then we spread thick blankets and pillows out on the floor. For book 1 of Mysteries, Mayhem, and Murder we chose red wine as our drink of the night, and pizza and chocolate cake in honor of our auspicious beginnings at University Books and Brews.
The pizza box laid open on the blanket between us with the wine bottle and glasses resting on the lid. The cake was half eaten and moved to the nearby coffee table for later. Gigi sat with her back against the couch as she read from chapter five while I laid on my stomach, feet in the air, reading along in my copy.
“And with that, Mrs. Crabtree disappeared into the night.” Gigi slammed the book closed and tossed it aside with a sigh. “I love this series so much. I think it’s because, if there were a world I could escape to other than this,” she waved her arm through the air, “it would be Triple M.”
I pushed my book away and rolled onto my side. The wine had gotten to my head a little, the world just a little fuzzy. “Absolutely. I think it’s what got me through high school, actually. I just pretended that was my real life sometimes.”
“It was that bad?”
I tried to be objective when I looked at my past but found it harder and harder the further I got from it. “It wasn’t terrible. But it was very lonely. That’s what I feel when I look backward, you know? Just…fucking…lonely. The blackness I see hovering around us on the Plane is very similar. Inevitable. All encompassing.”
Gigi slid closer and grabbed her wine, finishing the glass with a gulp. “I’m so sorry. I know your mother did what she thought was best, but I can’t help wondering what your life would be like if we’d been able to protect you.”
I wondered sometimes too, but then I had very different thoughts. “Well, for one, we probably wouldn’t be as close. I would still essentially be a child.” I pushed my glass closer and she refilled it, then hers.
“True. Very true. I know it was all done for a reason. You needed to be grown and quickly to fulfill your prophecy. You needed Dray.”
“Or he needs me. Whatever. All that really matters is I am grown. I am who I am. And that means I’m Fated to Dray, who I love with all my heart and soul, and you’re my best friend, who I love with all my heart and soul.”
“Is it strange? To go from such loneliness to so much love?”
“Yes.” I stared at the way the fire and candles danced in the glass in my hands. “But also no. I’m just so happy. I don’t want to lose this. I never want to be lonely again.”
“You won’t be,” she whispered. And then, “I’m scared. I don’t want to be part of a prophecy or a dream or whatever it is that ties me to Ryddyck.”
And she probably felt really shitty about that considering everything I was going through. “It’s a lot. I’m here though. You can always vent to me.”
She smiled a little. “It is nice that my very best friend is going through something similar.”
“Do you think your connection to him is…more?” Ryddyck was strange but sincere. And the way he looked at Gigi was nothing short of adoring.
She shrugged a little. Drank some more wine. “Maybe. It’s hard to know what I feel. I’m too shocked still. I don’t even know what he is.”
That did make things more complicated than my situation with Dray. “Does it matter what he is? If you fall in love?” Love wasn’t love if it was conditional.
“Probably not. It’s an excuse, I know. For my fear.”
I set my wine aside and move over beside her, putting my arm around her shoulders. “You’re allowed to be scared. It’s scary.”
She laughed a little, the firelight dancing across the features of her delicate face. “Is that Rhysa the psychologist talking now?”
“Yes. And she happens to be your best friend. So the advice is sound no matter what.” I never wanted her to feel sad or scared. All I wanted for Gigi was happiness.
I understood now what drove Dray and Bo into my bookstore that fateful night. Gigi’s happiness was pure, as was her excitement. She wasn’t naive, but that special kind of optimistic that sees the good no matter how dark the night. It was the kind of special that was so rare it had to be protected because the world never had enough of it.
“You will get through this. And we’ll be by your side the whole way. Just like you’ve been by mine.”
She rested her head on my shoulder. “And we’ll always have cake.”
“And pizza.”
“And wine,” she giggled. “Oh Rhysa. You always make me feel better.” She suddenly sat up. “I don’t think I realized…”
“What?”
She shook her head, eyes unfocused. “You grow up in a big family with wonderful brothers and sisters who tease you and love you, and something can still be missing. It feels wrong to think that, so I’ve ignored it for years.” Then she turned to face me, her eyes locking with mine. It took my breath away. “I’ve always been just a little bit lonely in this big house full of love. I felt guilty wanting more. Wanting someone who understood me without judgement or appeasing my whims like my brothers do.”
“Someone who wants to do book club picnics in the library?”
“Someone who loves the books I love,” she whispered.
The air in the room felt thinner, heavier. “Someone who loves you just because they love you.” The Plane didn’t tell me to love Gigi. There was no Fate pulling me to her. We were just two bookworms who found each other.
She took a ragged breath that matched my own. “You said once that we were soulmates.”
“I think we are.”
“Dray is your Fate and I’m your soulmate?” She cupped my face and pressed her delicate lips against mine.
My heart took off racing. It was different than drinking or even being near Dray. It was still love, but it was something else entirely. “I don’t understand anything anymore.” I kissed her back, hungry for something I couldn’t name.
She ran her nose along mine and sat back, a drunken smile on her face. “Human hearts are too small, I think. They can’t conceive of all the love there is because it’s too much. Too painful for their short lives to encompass it all. You’re Samhain, Rhysa. Your heart is big enough for all the love there is and it’s not painful. It’s beautiful.”
Then she stood up, cleaning up the pizza box and bottle of wine while I sat there dazed and confused. “What…what are you doing?”
“Cleaning up. Did you need to talk more?”
Talk? My lips still tingled and my head wouldn’t stop spinning. I was more confused than ever! “I–I’m confused.”
She picked up the cake. “Rhysa, we just had a lovely moment, but that’s it. Maybe that’s all it will ever be. Maybe it’s the beginning of something new. No one has to design a ten-point plan or map out a future. It doesn’t change anything either. You’re still Fated to Dray, who you love. And that love is a special love no one can touch or change. It’s more powerful than anything in the universe. You’re still in charge of saving all of us. And I’m still dreaming of a male who might be sharing my dreams each night. Go get some sleep. I’ll see you at the picnic.”
My head wouldn’t stop spinning, but she was right. I was thinking like a human. I knew that. And she was probably right to leave me now to process. “We didn’t finish the book.”
She paused at the door, cake still in her hands. “We know how it ends, don’t we?”
“Yeah. Everything works out in the end.” Just thinking that made me feel better.
“Exactly.” She held up the cake. “I’m taking this, by the way. Good night!”