Chapter Trauma and Tantrums
I opened the room door, and there it was again.
The carnage that soiled the usually immaculately kept room.
The first thing I saw was the blood, splattered, dripping, slowly rolling down towards my shoes. I heard a heartbeat, slow, uneven, dying. Two bodies lay motionless, the other, only slight movements of the chest separated him from the others.
There was also a pinkish orangey liquid, coming from the mouth, mixed with the blood. Vomit. I wanted to help, but how could I, when I myself was helpless.
“Summer, Summer?” called my mother. I looked up as her blurry image became clearer. My eyes were refocused from their look into the past. “I’m going to the hospital today to look at Frank and Sonya.” her voice cracked and she looked away. She cleared her throat. “I am also going to see how Caleb is doing. The doctors say that he is stable now. Are you coming?” she said lifting her eyes back to my face.
I examined my mother as she stood there. Her eyes were puffy and had dark circles bordering them. Edifices added due to the lack of sleep and prolonged crying. The rock had finally cracked. I probably looked like that, without the puffiness as I hadn’t cried as yet. I’d forgotten how to.
“No I’m not coming.” I said before dipping my head towards the sofa.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure.” I said nodding my head and fixing a lock of hair behind my ear. She came closer to me and touched me on the shoulder.
“Aurora, you know that you’ll have to face this. I hope you know that you are not alone. We are all going through the same loss and suffering, through the same grief. It has been two weeks and you haven’t shed a tear.” she said in a placating tone.
“I am fine. Can we not talk about this right now.” I said furrowing my brows.
“You are not fine. You’ve like a ghost these past few days. You sit around sulking all day. You don’t speak. You don’t eat.” I rolled my eyes, as we both knew that eating was always optional for our kind. “You . . . you don’t do anything.” she said almost shouting.
I snapped my head up sharply. “What do you want me to do? Go around crying all day and every single night, just to prove to you that I am grieving? Well if you are waiting for that, you will be horribly disappointed.” I replied acridly, before walking towards the kitchen.
“Summer please. I just want to help you through this.” she said following me.
“I know and I thank you for that. But this is something that I have to work out on my own, in my own way.” I paused. “There is something that I’ve been thinking about.”
“What is it?” she asked tentatively.
“I want to go to school tomorrow.”
“Summer,” she said as if I’d wounded her.
“I can deal with it. As you said, I need to face this. This is a way of dealing with it. Please?” I added pleadingly.
She sighed heavily.
“Please?”
“Yes, you can go, but you will call me if . . .?”
“I will call you if I need a shoulder to cry on.” I said weakly.
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay,” I said waving slightly. I watched as she exited through the door leading up to the garage.
I climbed the stairs leading in the opposite direction. I was about to step into the room where I was staying, when I noticed that Thorn’s room was open. I pulled up the door and walked over to it.
I closed the door behind me and gingerly hopped unto his bed. I smiled as I landed softly. Seidon had allowed my mother and me to stay here as my aunt’s house had been cornered off pending further investigations. They’d agreed for me to stay here until the end of the school term. Mom would be going home at the end of the week.
I folded my legs and pushed my hands in the pockets of my sweater. I had to bring one with me as I was still unaccustomed to the frigid temperatures presented, due to the icy nature of the house.
I spotted a thick book lying beside the framed picture of Thorn’s mother. It was queer that I hadn’t noticed the book before. I took up the frame and looked at the black-haired beauty. Her face seemed to offer some sort of solace like it was acting as a panacea for my troubles. I’d never asked Thorn her name, I would this evening. I placed the frame down and took up the book.
I rubbed my hand over the cover. It was layered with dark, soft leather. There was no title on the outside, so I assumed that it was ok to open it. If it was anything private like a journal, I would put it back. I slowly cracked the cover open, when the door was pushed open.
“Thorn,” I said surprised that he’d caught me snooping.
“Summer hi,” he said sounding equally surprised. “I didn’t see you in your room so I thought that you were gone.” he said putting his bag down and coming over to me.
“I, ah, no. Mom went to the hospital earlier. I saw that your room was open, so I came in here. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No I don’t.” he said smiling slightly and sitting beside me. “Is that mine?” he said pointing to the book, which I held.
“Yes, I saw it there and I picked it up. I haven’t opened it as yet. If it was something private I wouldn’t have read it.” I stammered.
“It’s ok.” I unfolded my legs and shifted over as he came to sit beside me. “There is nothing in this album that I wouldn’t share with you anyways.” he said holding the book and opening it before us. He swung one arm around my shoulders and I pulled in closer to lean on his chest.
The first page had pictures of him while he was a baby. The rest of the album contained photos of him and his brother when they were growing up. Seidon also featured in some of the pictures. He vividly described the events unfolding around each. From his first steps to graduation from prep school. Parties, camping trips everything was covered and recorded in the album.
We finally flipped around to the last page. It was the oldest photo in the album. It was a picture of all four of them (Thorn of course was still encased in his mother’s overly engorged stomach). It was my favourite picture so far. Everyone seemed so happy. Seidon had his hand placed over her stomach and a look of wonder and enchantment was etched in his features. Nick was sitting on Seidon’s lap, with some toy in his hand. While there she was sitting and smiling at them both.
“You’ve never told me your mother’s name?” I said tearing my eyes away from the photo.
“It was Rain. Dad named me after her.” he said looking back at the picture.
“Rain,” I repeated the name and smiled. “Beautiful, soft drops of liquid sunshine.” I whispered softly. “So how did your parents meet since . . .?”
“Our family was exiled from the Lune community.” he said finishing my question.
“Yes,”
“They met somewhere in Europe. I don’t remember which country specifically.” he said furrowing his brows.
“I guess meeting in any country in Europe is kinda romantic anyways.” I said I thought of all the movies I’ve watched about Paris and the Eiffel Tower and sailing on the French Riviera. The rolling hills of Granada to name a few. The centuries worth of Graeco-Roman history of the continent were interlaced with plight, but so much magic, that it could influence romance.
“It wasn’t quite that way. It hasn’t been all magic and romance for my family. We’ve faced some very hard times, my dad especially. I’ve told you that my mom was exiled from the Lune community, but I’ve never actually told you why.” he said with an intense look on his face.
“You know you can tell me anything.” I whispered as he’d suddenly fallen silent.
“I know I can.” he said with his face relaxing a bit as he looked at me. But it regained its prior intensity as he stared back at his walls. “My mother was expelled from the Lune community because she killed someone. It however, was in self defense.”
“What happened?” I asked becoming more intrigued.
“Some Lune had raped her. He was a member of the Royal Guard, so they came to look for her and of course found her guilty. But since she’d proven that it was in self-defense, she wasn’t killed but was told to leave and never return.
“A few months after she and my dad met. She was pregnant. But my dad understood, he still loved her and they got married. Soon after, Naeht was born and dad raised him as his own. Then three years later, she died while giving birth to me. Usually, spouses would die soon after the other did, but my dad’s still alive because mom wasn’t chosen for him like we were for each other. So that bond joining them was missing.” he said with a deep sigh. “I hope that this doesn’t diminish what you thought of my mother.” he said with his eyes boring deep into mine.
I’d always wondered how it was that Seidon was still living, but I’d never had enough courage to ask. Questions like 'How comes your mom’s dead but your dad‘s not?’ weren’t exactly kosher.
“Your mother’s actions don’t cause me to think any less of her. In fact, it actually caused me to admire her even more for the courage that she’d shown. If it were me in her position, I don’t know what I would have done. I hope that one day maybe I too could be that brave.” I said smiling slightly. “Rain,” I said using his real name for effect. “It is not your fault.” I saw him frown a bit as if trying to figure out what I meant. “Your mother dying. I know you blame yourself for that. I can see it in your eyes and I can feel it too. You’re not to be blamed for any of that.
“I know that your mother loved you. She loved giving life to you. Look,” I said flipping to the picture at the back of the album. “Look, see how happy she was. And I can bet that if she was to die a thousand times over so that you could live, she would.” I said clasping my hands around his jaw and stroking his cheeks with my thumb.
“You know that you’re amazing right?” he said as he rested his forehead on mine.
“I know, you remind me so often.” I said softly and I was glad to see a small smile playing at the edge of his lips.
I didn’t know when or how I’d returned to my room. I gathered myself from under the thick sheets. Although the house was near freezing, I still had traces of sweat trickling down my neck and chest.
The room was dark and had an eerie glow given off by the icy blue walls. I listened and heard nothing. I slight shudder ran up my back. I quickly slipped from the bed, pulling the covers around my shoulders. I quietly stalked past my house slippers and out the room door. The floor was cold, but I didn’t put on any shoes as they would squeak too much, and I didn’t want to wake anyone as I walked through the halls.
I finally made it to his room and tapped on the door gently. I heard a slight stirring coming from the other side, so I didn’t bother to knock again. I anxiously looked up and down the hall to see if anyone else from the other rooms were disturbed, before resettling my eyes on the door, which slowly creaked open before me.
“Summer?” he asked confused, muffling a yawn with the back of his hand. I was taken aback as he’d appeared wearing nothing more than a pair of boxers.
“I’m sorry to wake you, but I can’t sleep. I was having a bad dream. I promise that I will leave before anyone else gets up. I even brought my own blanket.” I whispered, rocking back and forth on my heels, as the ice had began to cramp my feet after standing in one place so long.
“It’s alright. Come in.” he said allowing me to pass. “Why didn’t you wear shoes? The ground must be freezing to you.” he said closing the door. He must have noticed my awkward strut across towards the bed.
“They make too much noise and I didn’t want to wake anyone else. Which side of the bed do you sleep on, because I don’t want to displace you from that position.” I said perching lightly on the bed.
“I sleep in the middle, so you wouldn’t be displacing me.” he said tilting his lips slightly into a smile.
“Oh, ok. Then I’ll stay over here then.” I said snatching a pillow and patted it before I swung my feet up and lay down. I pulled the blanket that I’d brought up around my neck and closed my eyes.
I felt the mattress sink slightly on the other side as he lay down. I could feel his warmth radiating towards me from the other side of the bed and like a fly drawn to light, I felt compelled to move closer towards him.
“Sorry for crowding your space, but I was drawn to the heat. Probably a Corona thing.” I whispered.
“I don’t mind this kind of crowding.” he said putting his arm around my waist and pulling me in. “So you want to tell me what the dream was all about?” he whispered softly.
“I don’t know if it was a dream exactly, but it must have stemmed from our conversation earlier. I was dreaming or thinking about my father.” I started, before slightly biting my lower lip.
“Your dad? I’ve never heard you speak about him before. Did something happen to him?” he asked sounding concerned.
“I’ve never said much because there isn’t much to say about him as I hardly knew him. He left when I was younger. I only remember his face from the pictures that mom has of him at home. And we rarely ever spoke about him. I know that he isn’t dead since mom is still alive.
“I don’t know what could have possessed someone to just decide one day that he was going to leave his family, people he supposedly loved. I sometimes wonder if he even loved us at all.” I whimpered.
“Then I think about what they did to my uncle. He was a good man, both he and Aunt Liz took good care of their family. They were always so happy, laughing, talking and teasing each other. Although it got annoying sometimes, they were good people. They didn’t deserve to be bludgeoned like that. Uncle Frank left dangling from a rope, blood coming from his mouth and nose. My aunt with multiple stab wounds, from head to foot. Caleb with his head mashed in . . .” I inhaled deeply.
“They didn’t deserve that, maybe my dad does, but not them.” I said hissing.
“Summer you don’t mean that. I am sure that your dad loves you and your family. Maybe he had to leave as a way of keeping you safe.” he said soothingly.
“Safe? I mean what could be so dangerous that he couldn’t manage to pull away even once a year to come and see us.” I said seethingly and twisted around to face him.
“You know the type of danger out there. We have not only heard of it but have experienced it first hand, on more than one occasion.” he said knitting his brows, while his eyes held an intense gaze into mine.
“I don’t know, maybe you are right.” I said propping up my head on my arm while using my other hand to trace small circles on his exposed chest.
“Everything is going to be ok. Your dad might not be here right now, but you still have your mother and sister, my dad, Naeht, me . . . We are all family.” I closed my eyes and smiled slightly as his warm lips pressed gently against my forehead.
“And I can’t wait until the day when that deal is made official.” I smiled. “That is if my wild temper and tantrums don’t scare you off by then.” I added.
“It would take a hell of a lot more to pull me away from you woman. We, this is permanent.” he said earnestly. “A man cannot live without his heartbeat; and you are my heartbeat.” he took my loose hand and placed it firmly against his chest. I could feel the accelerated thrumming against his chest as my hand landed.
That was all I needed to hear before I lost all my resolve and has soon tightly interlaced in his embrace. Somewhere between soft kisses and more passionate ones, I fell asleep.