Pregnant and Rejected By My Alpha Mate: Part 2

Selene’s POV

My first thought is of Bastien.

I remember Drake’s attack, the horrible battle which followed and the terror of watching the odds turn against my mate. I remember Luna’s primal instinct to protect him, and the panic which spurred me to shift faster than should have been possible for someone of my experience. I remember wolves charging toward me with their fangs bared, and then there are only dizzying flashes of color and sound; distant voices and vivid waves of pain.

It’s all a blur of fear and torment which my overloaded brain can’t seem to hold onto. The details slip through my fingers like water as consciousness returns, and the aches covering my body make themselves known.

Where is Bastien? My thoughts entwine with Luna’s voice, our questions circling and alternating in a maelstrom of worry and confusion.

Is he alright?

Surely they didn’t kill him.

What about Lila?

Is she still asleep?

What happened?

I feel strangely paralyzed, unable to move or open my eyes, like I’m awake yet trapped in my own body. I manage to summon a feeble moan, a small sound that sounds weak to my own ears. Immediately I hear movement on my left, and then I smell him.

Bastien.

His scent wraps around me like a warm blanket straight from the dryer, and I automatically relax. He’s alive, and that means I’m safe.

“Selene?” His deep bass penetrates the clouds of memory muddling my thoughts, and his wolf calls to Luna. She responds without hesitation, more subdued than usual but instantly comforted by his presence. “Are you awake, sweetheart?” Bastien murmurs, stroking my hair.

Goddess I love him.

In all our time together, I’ve never had to worry for Bastien’s safety. He’s always seemed so invincible to me. This is the first time I’ve ever feared losing him – not to another woman or through some rejection – but to the otherworld. It was a dread and despair unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and one I hope to never feel again.

I still can’t open my eyes, but I find the strength to raise my hand, latching onto his arm with utter elation. “You’re okay.” I revel hoarsely, the corners of my mouth twitching towards a smile.

Bastien huffs out a heavy sigh, and then tender kisses are raining down on me. From my eyelashes, to my nose, cheeks and hair, his lips leave no skin untouched until they finally settle on my own. “You scared the hell out of me, little wolf.” He rumbles against my mouth, extracting a few lingering kisses in between his words and keeping my face framed between his huge hands. “I thought I was going to lose you again.”

The anguish in his beloved voice rips my heart into pieces. I did that. I caused that suffering. “I’m sorry.” I croak, feeling tears burn in my throat. When I finally find the will to open my eyes they fall freely. “I’m so sorry, Bastien.”

His silver eyes shine as he stares down at me, searing me with affection. “I’m sorry, too.” He vows, brushing my tears away with his thumbs. “More than you’ll ever know.”

I hate lying here with Bastien leaning over me. I want him closer, I need to feel his skin against mine. When I tell him this he tsks gently, “I don’t think you’re up for that, little wolf.” Regret is heavy on his tongue, “You’re healing well but you’ve got a ways to go. Drake’s men didn’t hold back.”

The reminder prompts me to finally ask the question I’ve been dreading. “What happened?”

“You mean before or after you jumped into the middle of mortal combat between Alphas?” Bastien’s tone remains unchanged, but the disapproval in his words comes through loud and clear.

“They were going to kill you.” I argue meekly.

“And instead they almost killed you.” He counters sternly, “Which do you think I would prefer? Which do you think would have been better for Lila?”

Suddenly feeling like a terrible mother for not asking after her sooner, my guilt pours out in a bevy of rambling questions,  “Does she know? I mean, was she… how… Where is she?”

“She’s with my mother.” Bastien assures me, reading my anxiety, “I told her that you have an owie but it’s nothing to worry about, you just need a few nice long naps to feel better.”

“Thank you.” I breathe, feeling strain from even this tiny movement.

“Of course.” He responds easily, searching my face. “How much do you remember?”

I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or not, but I sense a facet of trepidation in Bastien’s inquiry. He visibly relaxes when I explain how little I recall, before sharing the highlights of the last 24 hours with me. “Drake took a few major losses between the fight and the firings, but he also felt badly enough about you getting hurt that he’s allowing us to stay despite everything that’s happened. I haven’t spoken with him in depth, but I will.”

Only a fool could miss the threat in his voice, “It wasn’t his fault, Bastien.” I say, feeling caught between my own guilt about causing the upset in the first place, and my frustration with Drake for attacking my mate.

“His men, his responsibility.” Bastien states coldly. “He threw the first punch, he fought dirty, and he nearly got you killed by not keeping close enough watch on his guards.”

“You’re right.” I concede, “He behaved terribly and there’s no excuse for it. Just please don’t hurt him.”

Why not? Luna interjects, still infuriated that the Eros Alpha tried to kill her mate. You ought to be begging him to give that bastard what he deserves.

Hush now. I urge her. Drake has been a good friend to us for years, we wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for him.

Bastien studies me for a long while, weighing his options. After a few painfully intense staring contests, he agrees. “I’ll promise, as long as you promise me you’ll never do anything like that ever again.”

I don’t need any cajoling, thinking about what might have happened to Lila as the result of my foolish actions was lesson enough. “I promise.”

He nods in thanks, “Then you have my word. I won’t hurt Drake… no matter how much he deserves it.”

“Thank you.” My insides are little more than a puddle, completely melted in by his dominance. “I know I’ve put you through a lot, and Drake doesn’t make it easier.”

Bastien hasn’t taken his hands off me since I woke, but this is the first time they’ve gone still. “Is that to suggest you aren’t going to put me through any more?”

Gnawing on my lower lip, I nod shyly. “I meant it when I said I was sorry, Bastien.” The separation is starting to drive me crazy, and I shift towards the edge of the bed. He lets me, guiding my body with his hands and easing my sore limbs from the mattress and into his lap. “You know this would be a lot easier if you just lifted me.”

“It would.” He concedes, “But this is safer for your injuries, not to mention more entertaining.”

I shove lightly at his chest, prompting him to wrap his arms around me so I cannot repeat the action. “My point is that I’m starting to realize just how badly I hurt you,” I carry on solemnly, feeling cozier than I can remember being in years.

Of course you do. Luna gloats. We’re home; this is where we belong.

I think we are. I agree. Goddess I’ve missed this.

“I was wrong not to trust you after everything you did for me.” I confess, “I can’t even tell you why I couldn’t.”

“I know why, Selene.” Bastien washes away my worries, “And it’s alright. I wasn’t a good enough husband to you. I should have told you how much I loved you every last day so that you could never doubt it.  If I had, maybe you wouldn’t have believed Arabella.”

“I still find it hard to believe.” I admit. “I mean, I’m…”

“I would be very careful what you say next, little wolf.” Bastien cuts me off in his strictest tone. “If you say anything other than, ‘the only woman I have, and will, ever want or need,’ I’m going to be very disappointed in you.”

“I’m trying.” I tell him, barely heading off an eye roll. “I’m trying to trust you the way you deserve. And I’m trying to see myself through your eyes rather than my own.”

“Good.” Bastien approves, “Because I love you more than anything, and I don’t want to spend another second apart from you.”

“I love you too.” I profess, blushing deeply.

Bastien draws me in for a deep kiss, stealing the air from my lungs and setting my heart to a gallop. “No more secrets.” He declares, “no more lies.”

“No more.” I agree, leaning into my mate and tilting my chin up for more kisses.

He doesn’t disappoint. I disappear into the moment as best I can, positively spinning with the endorphins rushing through my blood.

I’m trying to absorb as much good feeling as I can in these incredible moments. For whatever we say, all good things must eventually come to an end. Besides, there is at least one secret remaining between us, and it’s the most precious by far: Lila.