Pa'an

Earth skewed around the side of the Sun facing the Pa’an construction project on September 21, the autumnal equinox. Every media station announced it. As daylight crept round the planet, people awakened to a hopeful new feeling, subtle but almost universal. As predicted, things began to happen, both good and bad.

The Ayatollah of Iran was publicly martyred by all four of his wives acting in concert. He was hanged by his unwound turban from a balcony in a public square.

132 US Congressional members decided to forego re-election. Some joined monastic orders and gave their fortunes to charity. There was a public outcry when the size of those fortunes was revealed by the media. Others simply disappeared into obscurity. A few committed suicide or murder. The same pattern, with cultural differences, occurred in every country. The Japanese seemed to prefer public humiliation. EU Ministers had fistfights in Parliament. Russians attempted immensely complicated coups which usually failed spectacularly. A few, however, succeeded well enough to create a constitutional Russian government.

A Big Pharmaceutical company announced a process to extend human life span up to 200 years. The price was $100,000 per year.

Potholes were filled in every major city, but road traffic declined. The Los Angeles freeways became six empty lanes with a straggling of cars and bicycles. A taxi could drive cross-town New York at any time of day in 12 minutes. Speed limits were eliminated in Texas and New Mexico and no one cared.

A group of animal rights folks took up the cause to send their Dogs to Heaven. It was imitated shortly by Cats’ Reward and Save the Whales.

Every religion bloomed. Catholic masses were jammed, even Muslims attended. In a spirit of brotherly love, Jews smote their own backs during Muslim Ashura. The Thuggee cult in India went public. You could tell people’s beliefs by their T-shirts, beads and collar emblems. Everyone had a variety of those, one for each occasion. One never knew which religion was correct, so why not try them all?

Three of the four hardest problems in mathematics were solved, one by a juvenile locked in a detention hall for committing rape.

Wardens and jailers released their prisoners. The Kremlin was invaded by half-starved, glassy-eyed individuals with no place to go. North Vietnam prisoners promptly turned around and jailed their jailers, then took the next train to South Korea.

And that was only the first month.