Our Future

We held each other’s hand as we slowly walked to Gabriel’s house. Neither of us said anything. How were we supposed to have kids thirteen years from now if my mother didn’t accept us and wanted to kill us? Tommy hadn’t mentioned this, why hadn’t he mentioned this? Did it not happen in his reality or did I not tell him?

The walk was painful in a mental sense. My thoughts were on Tommy and Cameron, I wanted them to live, I wanted kids but as all was now, unless things were sorted out it seemed to lessen the chances of it happening.

“Nathan,” I heard Melody call from behind us. I let go of Gabriel’s hand nervously.

I turned slowly and saw her. She looked worried and apologetic.

“I heard what happened from your dad. I’m sorry,” she exclaims. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, I think we just need a quiet place to think,” Gabriel whispered.

“I texted my friends and told my parents that we broke up. They don’t know why, they just know it happened,” she whispers.

“I’m happy that you had the courage to tell me how you felt and didn’t keep lying to yourself,” she whispered smiling.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“I hope things get better, I’ll see you guys at school,” she says waving goodbye.

“See ya,” Gabriel comments.

We walked the last few blocks to Gabriel’s house. We let ourselves in. His parents wouldn’t be home till six-thirty.

He hugged me from behind, tightly. I placed my hands on his arms. I leaned my head back on his chest. I can see his eyes.

“It was always you,” he whispers nervously. “You were the one who made me question myself and become myself. At first I hated you but I soon realized it wasn’t your fault, it was just who I was.”

“Gabriel,” I whisper.

He hadn’t told me that in the other reality. I wondered if it was the same there.

We quietly made our way up their spare bedroom. We settle into the bed comfortably, far enough apart so that if his parents walked in on us it wouldn’t seem like anything was going. We turned the TV on and started flipping through channels. We weren’t really interested in the TV. Gabriel kept side glancing me. He was nervous. He did realize he’d have to bring one of his boyfriends home eventually, but he probably thought it wouldn’t be till college. I hoped his dad didn’t hate him more after this. Gabriel was walking a fine line with him. A very thin, breaking line, and if he lost his balance he’d get kicked off. We didn’t know how far his dad was willing to go and we both didn’t need to be homeless.

It used to be him who had the problems, now it was me.

Gabriel kept rubbing the spot he’d been shot in by Farren. It was odd because it never happened, Farren was still alive here. I wonder if he was the same kind of person now.

It was all very confusing, adjusting to school again after not having gone in three years, my mind still to be that of the sixteen-year-old me before the apocalypse, I still remembered most of the things I’d learned.

Gabriel looked over at me.

“Is it weird being back?” he questioned.

“Kind of, I feel like the TV shouldn’t be working and we should be worrying about Sam and Anna,” I whisper.

We heard the door open downstairs. I was nervous that his parents would suspect our relationship. I didn’t know if we were going to tell them. I just needed a place to stay till smoothed things over with my mother.

Gabriel rose slowly and so did I. We slowly descended down the stairs to where his parents were in the doorway.

“Hello, Nathan,” Grace greeted me.

“Hi,” I replied nervously.

“I was wondering if Nathan could stay here. He’s having some family issues and needs a break for a few days,” Gabriel inquires.

“Sure,” replies Grace. “He can use the spare bedroom.”

“Thanks, Mrs...” I reply.

I hadn’t used my or Gabriel’s last name in quite a while. I’d almost forgotten them. Mine was Quince, and his was Frazer.

“You’re welcome,” she replies smiling.

I return her smile nervously and then glance at his father whose face is blank. You know how a cop stares at criminal in an interrogation, it was like that.

“Are you boys hungry?” Grace asked.

“No,” Gabriel answered.

He moved towards the stairs.

“No, but thanks,” I reply chasing after him.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Gabriel’s father watch me chase after his son. If he didn’t suspect anything now he might. I really hoped he didn’t hate Gabriel more if he ever found out which was bound to be soon since our parents shared almost everything. There were no secrets between our two families. It was like our two families were married to each other. Then again, my father might keep it quiet till he sorts things out with my mother.

Once we’re upstairs, back in the bedroom and out of earshot Gabriel speaks, “He knows, I know, he’s going to kill me.”

“Did you read him?” I ask.

“I can hear him; I don’t need to read him. That’s how much he disapproves of me... His mind is so loud. He’s practically screaming at me to snap out of it and act normal. I am acting normal for I am,” he exclaims.

“At least he won’t murder you over it,” I whisper.

“No, but he might kick me out and at this point that would be worse,” he replies. “We have nowhere to go.”

He’s right, we’d be homeless. If we asked Melody we’d eventually have to tell her parents the truth and we personally weren’t ready to tell more people, yet. Even if we’d told over a dozen people in our apocalypse world, they were all accepting and that was because many of them were under the age of thirty and we were in less danger because there were a lot less people to be attacked by if they didn’t like us.

“I guess we have to be careful then,” I whisper.

“I don’t want to be careful though. I love you it shouldn’t be something I have to hide. Love is a right,” he whispers.

This was when I wanted to be back in the apocalypse world, sure millions of people were dead but at least we were free to express ourselves and the only thing we had to worry about was the real life issues outside the warehouse.

He comes closer to me and I sway nervously. He places a hand on my forehead.

“Vision?” he asks.

It would be a first if it was. It had been a while.

He led me to the bed and he sat down, I nervously lay beside him. He pulled a few strands of hair off my forehead. My hair was a lot shorter and I wasn’t as thin as when I was in the apocalypse. It reminded me that Sam and Anna were going to look completely different when we saw them. Anna was going to be a toddler and Sam a first-grader.

Everything began to get bright so I closed my eyes. Everything was blurry and not a lot of it made sense. I saw a splatter of blood and the flash of a knife. I heard a scream and some hissing. Things cleared and everything was normal again.

“Nathan?” Gabriel whispered with a hint of concern, he’d seen my ‘visions’ before but he knew what they were now.

I starred up at him, the light in the room still felt bright and my mind was racing and hurt. I laid a hand over my eyes. Sensing my discomfort he got up and turned the light off and the television.

He lay beside me nervously. I felt him place an arm over me. I curled into his side. I felt his forehead against mine. I hoped his parents didn’t come in to check on us. Gabriel didn’t seem too worried, though.

“What did you see?” he asked nervously.

I opened my eyes and let them adjust to the darkness of the room. I could just make his face out in the light from the window.

It made me remember the dark gym when I first told him I was gay. It all seemed so simple then. Now I had to finish another two to six years of school, find a job, home, and worry about real life things. In the apocalypse all of that was pointless so it didn’t exist.

Why were there issues wherever you went?

I just wanted a peaceful life where I could love Gabriel and live my life.

I felt Gabriel’s forehead leave mine.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered.

I stared after him silently; concerned I’d scared him off. I hoped I wasn’t burdening him by being here. Normally couples don’t start living together till college or later.

I toke off my sweater and shirt and lay there quietly in the dark. It was lonely without him. And quiet. I was used to one of us speaking or mind-communicating with the other.

At least he was as understanding now as he was in the apocalyptic future. He came back about twenty minutes later with a flashlight in hand and some ice cream. He pulled a wax candle out of his pocket along with a match. He struck the match against his bedside table and then lit the candle which he placed in a candle holder. I stared at him confused for a second.

“Do you not remember what today is?” he asked.

I nervously shake my head.

“It’s your birthday,” he whispers holding out the candle so it’s right in front of me.

I’d forgotten the apocalypse had happened right after my sixteenth birthday. I hadn’t celebrated my birthday in three years so I kind of forgot it existed at all.

I sign and watch the single candle flicker. I didn’t really want ice cream right now but I didn’t want to upset Gabriel either. I blew out the candle and then he set it aside. He grabbed the bowl of ice cream and offered me a spoonful; I accepted it and he fed it to me. It was cold and it tasted like strawberry.

It was kind of cute. I got to see the side of Gabriel who would have took me out on dates if the apocalypse hadn’t been going on.

He takes a bite of ice cream and offered me another. We did that till the bowl was empty. Then we got under the covers and lay in each other’s arms. He kissed me gently on the neck. I laughed quietly because it tickled.

We heard his parents coming and we fell silent so they didn’t come in. Their room was at the very end of the hall so hopefully any further noise we made wouldn’t be heard. The lucky thing for Gabriel was if they did hear us he could escape through the bathroom which connected both to his room and the hall from here.

He made me forget about my mother and the issues that had been caused since the Rewind. I enjoyed my time with him because it could be short lived. There was no telling if his parents were suspecting us of anything. Just because I hadn’t come out didn’t mean I wasn’t gay and they might have learned that when Gabriel came out.

I placed my hands on the sides of his head and pressed my forehead to his, nervously. My eyes were closed and I didn’t want to open them because of my nervousness. Our noses touched, and finally I kissed him. I released and breathed nervously opening my eyes. I stared into his who were starring back, searching.

He sensed my nervousness.

“I love you,” he whispered reminding me.

I sighed; I both loved and hated his power. It made it easier to communicate. But I could hold none of my own secrets or worries.

“I really do, Nathan,” he whispers.

I lay my head on his bare chest and stared off into the darkness.

I was worried, more now than ever, about losing him. During the apocalypse the only way I really could have lost him was through death. Now he could break up with me, die, his parents could find out and ban him from seeing me. He had also made the first move in the apocalypse, and since he had been the one who did that I was used to it and now I didn’t want to be too forceful with my moves.

“None of it’s going to happen; I love you and who you are. Don’t be so worried, we not just going to all of a sudden break up, we’ll talk if we have problems, okay?” he whispers.

Hopefully we communicated better than in the apocalypse.

I didn’t say anything, just intertwined my hand with his own. I loved him but I was afraid of saying it, even though he’d said it like three times already.

I fell asleep like that and awoke to an empty bed. I looked around nervously, my shirt was on the floor but there was no trace of Gabriel. At least he’d made a safe get away before his parents came to wake us up.

I looked at the clock; it was 9:00am. What day was it today? I tried to remember, it had to be Friday, otherwise me and Gabriel would have been at home when the apocalypse happened. Great, I was late to school. Why hadn’t Gabriel woken me up? Why hadn’t anybody?

I was confused.

Gabriel burst though the bedroom door scaring me.

“Oh, you’re up...” he mumble surprised, “We don’t have school today. It’s a holiday.”

That was impossible; we were at the school when the apocalypse happened.

Was the Mandela effect happening or something?

But it made sense, chronologically. Today was Remembrance Day.

I was unsure and confused.

“What?” he asked.

I shook my head. It’d be pointless. He wouldn’t be able to explain it any more than me.

When he saw that I didn’t want to be questioned he seemed to understand.

“So what do you want to do?” he asked sitting on the side of the bed. His hand found mine.

Nothing, really. But if we stayed in the bedroom all day his parents would become suspicious and probably come and check up on us. And if we just happened to be doing something at that moment it wouldn’t be good. But if we went out we’d have to act discrete too just in case someone spotted us, sure Melody and me were broken up but kids spread rumors like wild fire and Gabriel’s parents were bound to hear about it somehow. It sucked not having the freedom to express your feelings.

“We could tell them,” he whispered leaning closer to me.

I froze, the door was still open and it made me nervous.

I could hear Anna laughing downstairs, last night; she must have slept over at one of her friend’s houses last night since she hadn’t come home with Gabriel’s parents.

“They won’t kick me out. They don’t hate me so much they’d disown me,” he whispers.

I didn’t know why he was asking me, it wasn’t really my choice, they weren’t my parents. But I guess it did involve me, because I was the secret.

“You have to say it, you know I have a hard time telling people for the first time,” I whisper.

Grace had known, but his father hadn’t because we had no idea where he was.

“We know Grace will accept us to say the least, right? We just have to see my father’s reaction,” he replied.

Gabriel’s father disliked his son being gay but wasn’t going to do anything like attempt to kill him like my mother, hopefully.

“I love you, no matter what, okay?” he whispers.

I nod nervously.

He peaks cautiously at the door and then kisses the top of my head.

He leaves me to get dressed and fix my hair.

I emerge slowly from the bed and my body meets the cold air. I pick up my shirt and pull it on. I walk into the bathroom and close the door. I stare at myself in the mirror. I didn’t know what I expected, probably my nineteen-year-old self, but what I saw was a sixteen-year-old that I remembered but was no longer.

I fixed my hair and washed the sleep out of my eyes. I exited the room nervously. Gabriel waited at the top of the stairs. He looked as nervous as I felt. We shared a glance at each other and then down the stairs where his parents were.

We slowly walked down the stairs and found Anna and Grace in the kitchen making breakfast. Gabriel’s father was nowhere in sight. It was Friday; he might have work despite the holiday. It would make this easier.

Anna was tinier than ever. The three-year-old was as thin as a toothpick but not as thin as in the apocalypse. She had medium-length reddish hair and blue eyes.

“Hi, Nat,” she squeaked.

I’d forgotten she used to call me that when she was little.

She ran and hugged Gabriel and he smiled wearily placing his hands on her shoulders. We looked at each other. It was a shock to me to see this version of Anna again but I wasn’t sure whether Gabriel was more accustom to her being like this or older.

“Hi, boys, ” Grace called, “Gabriel, you’re father got called into work. He won’t be home till seven tonight.”

“Okay,” Gabriel replied.

We glanced at each other. Unsure and nervous.

“Mom,” Gabriel called to get her attention. His eye gaze was now on the floor.

“Yeah?” she asked turning to look at Gabriel

When she saw his face, concern washed over.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Gabriel took her hand and led her into the living room.

Anna was preoccupied with a coloring book and took no notice.

I followed quietly behind.

“What is it?” she asked.

He sat down on the couch, hesitating. He looked up at me. I looked away.

“I’m in love with Nathan and Nathan likes me,” Gabriel whispers.

“So Nathan’s gay?” she questioned.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“Great. Do you want breakfast?” she asked.

“Mom, slow down,” Gabriel exclaimed.

“My father accepted me but my mother attempted to kill me so my father told me to leave till things settled down that’s why I asked if I could stay over last night,” I whispered.

“You’re saying she didn’t have a good reaction, not she literally tried to kill you,” Grace exclaimed.

“No, she took a knife and tried to stab me,” I whisper.

“We were concerned how dad would take it,” Gabriel whispers.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he won’t try to kill you because he’s, no offense, pretty civilized and sane,” she replies.

Truthfully, I didn’t know if my mother was civilized or sane.

I blinked and my vision blurred. Great. Hopefully this vision made a lot more sense than the last. I sat down beside Gabriel with a hand over my closed eyes.

“Are you having a seizure? Where’s your medicine? “She questions concerned.

“No, don’t worry about it,” I exclaim.

I saw Joey. He was dressed in a jean-jacket and burgundy pants. We were in a theater with red seats and I handed him a bookmark to sign. For some reason I realized I was late for his book signing and didn’t have the book. I raced to get my book. I was on this wide staircase when he walked into the room. I turned around because I knew he was going to leave and I called for him to wait. He said he had to go and well I was sad I understood.

The vision ended.

So Joey had a book coming out? Where was Daniel in all this? Joey said he knew Daniel before the apocalypse happened. I think back to the blurriness of the scenery around Joey and I see a man with brown hair along with two suited men. The brown-haired man must have been Daniel but his face wasn’t clear so it was hard to tell.

“Nathan?” Gabriel whispered concerned.

My eyes refocused on the real world and him. I blinked.

“Are you okay? Should we call your Dad?” Grace questioned concerned.

“No, he’s fine,” Gabriel whispered sensing what my brain wanted but was too confused to say.

Why had a vision shown Joey? We had no idea where he lived prior to the apocalypse or who he even was.

“We need to talk,” I send over the mind link.

Gabriel nods.

“I’m going to go lay down,” I state to Grace quietly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she repeats.

“Yeah, I just need some rest, don’t worry about it,” I reply.

I side glance Gabriel who looks nervous.

I don’t know if he saw the vision or if he’s not yet used to the fact that I can see the future even if he knows he’s metaphorically see it before, too.

I leave and go back upstairs.

Half an hour later Gabriel joins me after breakfast.

“What did you see?” he asked lying beside me.

He gave me as much privatism as ever.

“Joey and Daniel,” I whisper. “I was at Joey’s book tour.”

“Did something happen?” he asked.

“No, I was just there trying to get him to sign a book but he was leaving,” I whispered.

I wondered if Daniel still remembered the future. He had before but we didn’t know why.

He placed his hands on the sides of my head and we both closed his eyes. He went through the vision, I don’t know what he hoped to find. If nobody died there was no cause for concern but then again why was I shown the future if something didn’t happen?

As we were re-experiencing the vision I noticed something about the place we were in and the people around us. Some looked confused or panicked. I studied the surroundings trying to figure out what had caused their expressions.

I went over the audio and heard the crackling of a radio. I take notice of the two men in suits again. Their bodyguards, I assumed.

“Individual, knife, gunfire, take, Joe- and Dan- to the car...” it crackled.

If the vision had continued would something have happened to Joey and Daniel?

How were we supposed to warn them? We had no idea where they were or what even their last names were so we could figure out who they were.

Last names had become pointless in the apocalypse unless you ran across a person who had the same name as you and even then some of us hadn’t used or written our last names in a while so we barely remembered them.

I looked around the place to see if I recognized anything. I studied the wide staircase and the glass windows and doors, beige walls and dark wood floors. It felt familiar but I couldn’t place it.

“Nathan?” I heard Gabriel murmur.

I ignored him, where had I seen this place before? Had I been there before now or during the apocalypse? I thought about all the stages around my home or within the a few cities distance.

“Nathan,” Gabriel urged concerned.

I opened my eyes. His face was centimeters from mine.

“Yes?” I question.

“The book was about us,” he whispers. “How is that possible if he doesn’t remember us?”

“Maybe it’s a subconscious thing. Maybe he has the memories he just can’t access them. I wonder if Daniel has made the connection about the book. I looked at the walls of the place again. There was a poster of Joey’s book cover on the wall, the title: Our Future...

If he called it that to some extent he had to remember but if his book was going to come out today despite the apocalypse how had he written it if he hadn’t known the future?

Was he an angel, too? It was the only thing that made sense. Maybe a time traveling angel that was trying to stop the earth from ending. Why hadn’t Joey said anything when he found out about me, Gabriel or Daniel?

If anything it should have made his feel less crazy now that he wasn’t the only one. Maybe he found it pointless because he knew we were going to go back and forget. Or thought we would because we hadn’t.

“Do you think they’re in trouble?” Gabriel asks.

Even though we just met them in the alter reality we still felt responsible. It sometimes sucked to have compassion but it was better than having none and being considered a monster. Wait, I was that anyway or at least to my mother I was.

I wonder what was happening at home now. Had my father sorted it out? Explained it again, got her to accept me?

Why was she so against it? And why didn’t she accept us being angels either? She was half one, she could tell the future, she’d said that when we found them in the alter reality. Why was it such a crazy idea? It wasn’t normal to tell the future or read minds.

My vision blurred again. Another one? Three in the past two days was a new record.

I was walking through a mall entrance when Joey and Daniel came in. Joey was pushing Daniel in a wheel chair. I noticed them. Daniel said something about multiplication and I replied saying I remembered that but that it was different now and still easy because I was in school. I was rushing to their book signing again but somehow I ended up back home trying to find money to buy a signed copy of the book but I couldn’t find enough money.

I was abruptly thrown back into reality again just as confused as before.

Why had Daniel been in a wheelchair? Had he somehow been injured or paralyzed?

“Nathan?” Gabriel asked worried.

It wasn’t normal to have so many visions within forty-eight hours. Or at least it wasn’t for me.

“Nathan, are you okay?” Gabriel asked.

“I had another one, Daniel was in a wheelchair this time,” I murmur.

“So something happened?” Gabriel asks.

“Yeah, I don’t know what though, normally I’m shown what,” I whisper.

I wish I knew what was going to happen; I wish I knew where Daniel and Joey lived. I wish a lot of things. We can wish for everything we want but we will only get a handful of them. Some of the things I got were Gabriel, and my father accepting me. I’d lost my mother. Some of the things I couldn’t change had been reversed by the time rewind.