Our Future

Chapter 19: Suicide or Safety?



I and Gabriel exit the room with Joey and Daniel.

“We should keep an eye on him,” Joey whispers.

Daniel looked annoyed but understood.

“Why didn’t you tell him about us?” I ask.

“It’s our issue, we shouldn’t have to involve you,” Joey replies quietly.

“Why did you tell him, again?” Daniel asked. “Could you explain it in more detail, please, this time?”

Joey sighed.

“He scared me with the gun and told me to tell him what ‘at least he doesn’t lie to me’ means. I didn’t want to get shot, so I told him. I didn’t want to die, and he still shot me because he thought I was crazy. Daniel, please understand. He had a gun on me, what was I supposed to do?” Joey pleads.

We stand by listening.

“Tell him anything. You could of just said I was more honest and not a drunk and drug addict, “Daniel replies.

“He’s gotten better since the beginning of the apocalypse,” Joey yells.

“The only reason that happened was because the drugs and alcohol are in short supply, his addiction would have continued if it hadn’t started,” Daniel shouts in return.

“Guys, guys, this isn’t going to help,” Gabriel interrupts. “You need to talk to each other calmly or nothing will be resolved, okay?”

I felt responsible, if we hadn’t come here, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Their lives would have gone on peacefully. I wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t come.

I could stop time. Could I rewind it? Could I stop all this? Was it possible?

“Nathan, are you finally deaf?” Gabriel called.

“Sorry, I’m thinking,” I whisper.

I was trying to calculate what my chances were.

Five hours later...

I didn’t know what would happen if I tried. What if I went too far? What if I wasn’t able to reverse time once I rewound it? What if somebody else died because I didn’t let fate happen? What if I died and left the others it a terrible situation? They didn’t deserve to die. But I hated being a pain. I know having problems is better than being dead, but what if this still ended in their death? There was no telling what would happen, even I didn’t have complete power over that...

3 hours later...

“Nathan,” Gabriel calls.

He’d been watching me sit in silence and weigh the options for the last eight hours. I kept ignoring him. He was confused. I kept saying I was thinking but he didn’t know what about of course. That was him. Just because he could read minds didn’t mean he was going to abuse it. He had always been like that. Ever since the day we met. Just because he owned something didn’t mean he wouldn’t share it.

“Why won’t you tell me?” he asks.

What would happen to our memories if I turned back the clock? Would we forget everything, would we remember? What would happen to my power? I discovered it here, would it disappear until I recovered it again?

“Please, Nathan,” Gabriel pleaded.

How far did I want to go back? Could I stop the apocalypse? That’s crazy; they’d never give some kid that power. But what if they had and I didn’t use it? If anybody found out they’d kill me. Literally...

“Nathan,” Gabriel said annoyed with a shred of anger. “If I did something, I’m sorry-”

“It’s not you. It’s me. I have to make a choice. And I have to figure out what my choices are before I do it,” I reply.

“What are you talking about, what choice?” he asks interested now.

The next day...

I never did tell him. But that wouldn’t save him from reading my mind if he got fed up enough. Or him forcing it out of me if he didn’t want to do it that way. He went to sleep soon after he got fed up. Did he look through people minds well he slept? Accidentally or intentionally?

I got up soon after and left. Jump the fence when the guards were around front. I didn’t say anything to anybody. Once I was a few blocks away I toke flight and flew to the highest building in the area, which was an office building. I looked off over the edge of its roof.

I could prevent all of this. That was a possibility. I didn’t know if it was the truth, I didn’t know if it was a lie. And there was no proof that it was either.

Everybody was going to be wondering where I was.

What was the answer? Turn back, or go forward? What would happen?

The pain pierced my brain. The vision. Would it help me or be useless? I breathed heavily and tried to embrace the vision. I wanted to know what was right. And what was wrong...

I heard shouting. Gabriel got up and I followed. It was coming from the roof. We made our way to the nearest door and stepped out into the early morning light. We looked up and there was Vlad standing on the roof’s edge. His back was facing us.

“Vlad, you don’t have to do this,” Joey tried to assure him.

Was he going to jump? Please, God. Enough people have died. Stop him; make him see sense again, please.

“You can do something about it,” said a voice.

Why me? Why was it my choice? Why was it in my power to do it? I was just a kid. I...I didn’t know who to save and who not to. Why was it my responsibility?

Vlad backed up, centimeter by centimeter. Finally he jumped off.

I put my hand out and everything froze. Even Gabriel. He wasn’t immune this time. I felt tears slip down my face both in reality and in the vision.

Why? Why did I have to be the one born with powers? Why not somebody who had a plan or knew what to do? I didn’t want this, I didn’t ask for this. All I ever wanted was a normal life. The vision slipped away and left me to my blurry vision with tears.

I sniffled. Why? I wanted to know and nobody had the answers. What if I had died before I realized any of this? What was God’s plan? What would have happened to everybody? Gabriel? Sam? Anna? Emily? Arran? Mark? Rider? Michael? Jess? Logan?

Would they have died, too? All because I wasn’t around? There was no cure... What else would have happened?

What was the answer to all of this? I just wanted somebody to tell me. I didn’t want to have to explain it to them either. Gabriel, why did you have to be so respectful with your power? He obviously didn’t know how to tell when something was severely wrong. Only my parents would. Rarely anything was ever wrong and that was why nobody really thought much about it.

“Nathan,” I heard Gabriel call over the mind link.

I sighed but didn’t say anything. What help would he be? He wouldn’t know what to do any more than I did. I felt more tears slip down my face, I start hitting the roof of the office building. Why? Why? Why?

“Nathan,” I heard Gabriel’s voice call.

He landed beside me on the roof. He’d probably followed the sounds of my mind.

“You okay?” he asks kneeling down beside me.

I keep hitting the concrete roof of the office building. My knuckles were bleeding.

“Nathan, stop,” Gabriel said calmly grabbing my hands.

I did but I was still upset and mad.

Gabriel reached up and wiped my tears away.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Did something happen? Did I do something?” he said calmly. “What choice were you talking about? Does this have something to do with Melody?”

“No, you didn’t do anything and this isn’t about Melody...” I whispered.

I leaned closer to him. If I made the choice to go back, it could destroy our whole relationship. I didn’t even know if I’d remember this reality. If I made the choice to stay here, me, Gabriel, Vlad and possibly Melody were going to die. But who’s to say that wouldn’t happen anyway. What if I didn’t like the reality I ended up in and couldn’t come back to this one?

“Please, tell me, Nathan,” Gabriel whispered quietly into my hair.

Would he think I was crazy for suggesting it? Would he be mad? Because I was thinking of destroying what we had to save a few hundred thousand lives?

I sigh. I didn’t know what to tell him. I just pointed to my head. He obviously hadn’t picked up on much if he used it to follow me.

“No, I want you to tell me,” he whispered. “Please.”

I just shook my head and laid my head on his chest. He sighed and closed his eyes. I could see them moving about under his eye lids. He slowly opened them, another tear slipped out as I waited for his reaction.

“Nathan, there are some things that are just impossible, ” he whispered.

I shook my head again.

“There was a vision where somebody was going to die and they told me I could do something about it. Stopping time isn’t going to stop anybody from dying. The only way I could do anything is by reversing time,” I whisper.

“But what if it changes everything?” Gabriel asks nervous.

He was worried about losing me; I was worried about losing him, too. I loved him, how could I not?

“What if it fixes things?” I whisper.

“If you rewind, you’ll be back with Melody...what if we don’t remember?” he asks.

You can hear him holding back the cry.

“We have to try, it could save Quinn...” I whisper.

We all missed Quinn. She didn’t deserve to die. It would help Arran to have her back. But what would happen to Emily and Arran if Quinn returned? Arran hadn’t had any relationships well Quinn was alive.

“What if it ruins things? If we do this we’ll be responsible, we won’t be held responsible if you don’t do it,” he replies.

“If I don’t do this and people find out, they will kill me. They’ll hate me for not trying,” I whisper calmly.


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