Only Human

Stop that. Said my inner voice. Of course they know, and they’re going to be worried sick after…a week…when you’re supposed to be back…

It was hopeless. I was kidnapped by spiders, and I’d be dead in a week probably, long gone and bones and dust before anyone would find me. I prayed Enkidu’s hospitality lasted as well.

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up to heavy, even breathing over me. I grasped the arm draped around me, and sighed into the chest I was pressed up against.

I let out a deep breath, and murmured. “Sam, can you make some coffee?”

The arm shifted. “Wake up, He’na.”

I looked up, and a scream caught in my throat at the sight of a large, dark brown spider with red marking on his forehead. Gilgamesh. I backed away from him off the edge of the bed, and felt the surreal bump of my head on the floor.

“He’na!” A voice broke through my grogginess.

“Kate!” A second voice.

Two dark shapes loomed over me, and I screamed, sitting up, right into Samael’s arms.

“Be still He’na, I…nn…I am here.” Samael whispered, wrapping his arms around me. I could feel his muscles hesitate to tighten as he held me, his face in visible pain when I looked up at him, but he smiled despite the obvious pain he felt.

“Sam! By god, what happened to you?! Where have you been?” I demanded, but then the reality of where I was, and what I myself had been doing came back to me. “Wait, nevermind, don’t answer that.”

Samael nodded, still visibly in pain. “I can do that.” He sat back. “Are you…injured, he’na?’

I shook my head. “No, actually, Enkidu here healed…or tried to…a cut I had.” I gestured to where the spider crouched.

Samael growled in his direction.

“He thinks I bedded you.” Enkidu rolled his eyes.

I turned Samael’s face back to look at me. “With a slave, you jealous fiend.” I chuckled. “What about you? Are you…” I had to choose my words carefully; I didn’t want to humiliate Samael, not that Enkidu and I don't know what goes on with Gilgamesh, but still. “Are you all right?” I placed a hand on Samael’s shoulder.

The Pandinus male nodded, relaxing somewhat. “Yes, I am now.” He seemed like he couldn’t sit up much longer, so he laid down, groaning softly.

“Poor Sam,” I murmured. “I can’t imagine what they’re doing to you here…it must be torture.” If I was here, it didn’t necessarily mean I know what’s happening. Samael didn’t correct me, or say anything; not that I want him to. I sit right next to his back, and feel his tail curl behind me; prehensile, I hadn’t noticed before. His pincers lowered out of the way, and Samael turned over, his tail twisting away behind him.

“I have not been completely honest with you, He’na.” Samael looked as guilty as they come.

I shook my head. “No, you haven’t, and you’ve been unusually trusting.”

Samael tilted his head into the arm he lay against. “I have no reason to distrust you, Kate.” He stared at me.

I smile slightly. “That’s…I think, the first time you’ve called me Kate.”

Samael grimaced. “It did not feel right.”

“Oh, well thanks anyway?” A short silence fell between us, but I quickly kept the conversation moving, well aware that Enkidu was listening to every word. “Sam, I haven’t been completely honest with you, either.”

“Oh?” Enkidu interjected.

Samael gave him a growl, but I (hopefully) quelled the pandinus with a touch to his arm.

“Enough, he’s just trying to help.” I sighed.

Samael spat something that didn’t sound nice at all.

“Hey now, I don’t know what you said, but it couldn’t have been any better than growling at him, so just – can we ignore him for just a second, and have this conversation? I know you’re trying to avoid it, that’s becoming blatantly obvious. You know that I know that you know that I know.” I said. “It’s that simple, okay?”

Both Samael and Enkidu stared at me like I’d just sprouted Buttercup, or something as ridiculous out of my head.

“Oh what? Oh…” I sighed. “Okay, I meant I know about Gilgamesh, and what you’re doing here, the only question I don’t understand is why, Samael. Why are you here instead of fighting for your family, your people? I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type to just run off and passively allow yourself to be raped every month or so, that’s just not right.”

Samael didn’t reply.

Enkidu let out an impatient sigh. “The Pandinus are passive cowards. The O’o is the most cowardly of them all.”

Samael roared at Enkidu.

“You had that one coming, but please? Argue after we get out of here.” I got between them, hoping they wouldn’t fight around me.

Samael backed off.

“We are pacifists, you ignorant rock-eater! I would sooner die for the sake of my whole village than take them to war!” Samael bellowed.

“Then you are a fool, and a coward!” Enkidu shouted back. “This woman has risked her life to come after you, and all you can do is sit there and deny what is happening. You are stronger than Gilgamesh – you know this, and yet you, as the lady says, allow yourself to be violated by the monster himself.”

Samael stared at the floor, and didn't reply.

“Sam, think of your children; really think about them. How long is this supposed to go on? Hmm? Until they’re adults, and curious enough that they come after you, and learn the truth?” I asked.

“No!” Samael barked.

“Or worse, they come after you sooner than adulthood, and get killed, or even put to work, or suffer the same thing you suffer!” I exclaimed; harsh, true, but I was getting through to him.

“NO!” Samael roared at me, his face close to mine.

I coughed lightly. “Sam, I know I can learn to love you, but,” I snorted, and coughed a little. “You have got to brush your teeth.”

Samael didn’t react to my comment at all, just started muttering to himself about something or other.

“O’o, it is the right thing to do.” Enkidu said. “To fight Gilgamesh, and die, is a far better fate than to simply, literally, lay down and surrender.”

I watched Samael for a response, any response. “Fine. If you’re going to just let this happen, then I’m sorry I came all the way down here to save you; I guess I misjudged you.”

Samael started, his body tensing, but still didn’t look at me.

I rubbed my arms. “I can’t…love someone who just let’s that happen,” my voice shook. “I went through that kind of abuse once, Samael, and that was one time too many.” I shook my head. “I can’t be with you knowing that you’re going to leave every so often.”

“He’na!” Samael gasped.

“I can’t!” I exclaimed. “Don’t make me put up with this. I won’t let my loved ones hurt themselves, but if you aren’t even going to let me help you…”

Samael stared at me, hurt and abandon in his beautiful, dark cherry-colored eyes. He came to terms with it quickly, or at least acted like he did, and with his eyes heavy-lidded, nodded. “Very well, He’…Kate. As you wish.” He stepped off the bed. “Enkidu, I think it best if you escorted me back to Gilgamesh’s quarter before he wakes up.”

It hurt me to heart every syllable of that sentence, and felt the sharp stab of Samael’s cowardice.

“Know that I love you, Kate,” Samael’s parting words.

I could kill myself for just giving up on him like that, but I tried to change his mind, or maybe I didn't try hard enough. When Enkidu returned, I was still crying; he said no one would mind since they assumed I was being enslaved by Enkidu, and sobs were common.

Enkidu tried to console me, but he isn’t very good at it. I imagine he’s used to causing the tears, or maybe noone has survived this long.

“I will fight for your freedom.” Enkidu said unexpectedly.

I barely heard him through my sobs, but it made me stop instantly, though I could still feel them roiling around in my chest. “What…did you say?” I turned, and looked at him with all the confusion I could muster.

Enkidu glanced at me from where he sat on the bed next to me, but kept his gaze mostly on the hide at his feet. “Your freedom; I imagine you’ll want to leave knowing the O’o is not in need of your rescue.”

I shifted so I sat facing more toward Enkidu. “Go on.”

Enkidu glanced at me again. “Gilgamesh will not simply release you, he knows who you are, and the impact you have on the O’o’s mind; he uses you to manipulate him.”

I sniffed, and shocked myself by saying “Let him.”