Offered to the Triplet Alphas

[Xanthea]

'May you find my guilt at the right time and may it save you from your own. May you find answers to all your questions in my memories and I hope you hate me a little less.'

A woman's voice echoed in the back of my mind, weaving through the symphony of shattering glass when my eyes locked with Ezra's through the mist of showering shards and embers.

We were both frozen in time at that moment. And as the wave of an unfamiliar guilt crashed upon me, I knew we'd never be the same again.

The pain in Ezra's eyes blurred everything around me, leaving only the soft whispers of a woman singing in my mind.

Her voice floated like a lullaby, perhaps meant to soothe the child she cradled and caressed in her womb. But instead of gentle words to lull the baby to sleep, her song was forged from heartless, jagged words, each syllable a blade that pierced the child awake - splintering a life that wasn't even born yet.

'Thea, my poor child. You will carry the burden of my existence, inherit every shadow and scar I've left behind. Born from my guilt, my sins, my deepest regrets - you shall be my redemption. You shall be their cure, but there shall be no cure for the accursed fate your mother leaves you with. Forgive me, Thea... my baby...'

The words and the voice kept repeating in my head, but I failed to comprehend anything that was happening within me. At least, not until the chaos vanished, and I regained my consciousness to Asher's whisper. 'Don't worry, wife... I want you to feel this guilt because it's going to get worse.'

It did. The foreign guilt got heavier with every breath, crushing my heart. I didn't know the origin of the guilt or why I felt it so profoundly. All I knew was it belonged to my mother, but now it was mine.

'You have owned your mother's dreams, now it's time for you to own her guilt too...'

A restless, unexplained anxiety bubbled through me at Asher's words. He knew. Not just the guilt, but also my mother.

'You will never become like your mother. I will make sure you don't. But it's a burden you must bear for us. In your heart, in your soul, in your womb.'

How did he know my mother? No, what did she do? What should I do now?

'You have played your part exceptionally well so far, wife. So for now, go to sleep...'

For a second, there was nothing. I was nowhere and then the next; I found myself falling as though someone had pushed me off a cliff. I plunged into a free fall, helpless, plummeting through the thorny branches of the trees that cracked and stabbed through my skin. Pain. There was an unyielding pain.

But before I could grasp what was happening, I was falling through a narrow, suffocating tunnel. The tunnel was alive with memories that closed in from all directions as the light above me faded into darkness.

The openness vanished, and the tunnel squeezed tighter and tighter, pulling me deeper into the abyss, where there was no sound but the echo of my own frantic breaths.

There was no direction, just the feeling of endless falling, deeper and deeper, into something I couldn't escape. The further I fell, the colder the air grew, and my skin prickled with a chill that sank deep into my bones.

Shadows shifted, forming jagged, unyielding shapes, like memories of things I couldn't quite grasp but felt in my soul, each one waiting to drag me further down. They pressed closer, darker, threatening to crush me under the weight of their presence.

Something stirred in the dark walls as though hundreds of red eyes were watching me, following as I fell. Something pounced out of the tunnel wall and shot towards me. Another followed it and then another, but there was only as much I could dodge.

Their needle-like fangs plunged deep into my flesh, each bite searing as if dipped in venom, spreading a feverish burn that sent waves of nausea through me.

"AHHHH! NO!" Panicking, I brandished my hands and legs to fight them, but one after the other, they kept pouncing on me.

They latched onto me with frenzied desperation, tearing, gnawing, each bite like daggers piercing through my skin.

I knew I was dreaming, but the pain was real.

Even so, I could neither wake up nor save myself. I had been buried in a grave of my mother's memories in the middle of nowhere. Some of them were so horrifying, for a second I thought I was losing my mind.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't understand. I was suffocating, but I knew that even death wouldn't come to save me here. It was at that moment; I realized how an immortal actually felt.

They didn't fear death; they feared it might never come for them and their suffering would never end.

A scream tore out from my throat, but it was stifled down into hundreds of bubbles as I found myself drowning in a pitch black swamp being attacked, eaten and chewed apart; the only prey for the pack of piranhas. Gasping, I swam, breaking through the surface of the black water.

But before I could even open my eyes, I was dragged back into the water. I stretched out my hands out of the water, hoping someone took it and pulled me out of the swamp of my mother's memories even when I knew no help was coming in my dream.

Sparks charged through my body like there had been an explosion of stars in my soul. A firm hand gripped mine, and with it, the crushing weight slowly melted away from my soul. The black water peeled away as if repelled by his touch. I squinted my eyes at the blinding flash of light. There were fluttering white wings, and I was rising above the swamp, air filling my lungs with a comforting, familiar scent.

The white wings spread around me, glowing with an intensity that cast long, dancing shadows over the tunnel walls, dissolving the monsters, dimming the memories that clung to me.

In fleeting glimpses, I saw he was dressed in white pants, barefoot, with a snowy overcoat that billowed behind him as he unfurled his wings and flew me higher into my consciousness, pulling me out of the tunnel.

My eyes could barely take in the divine light radiating from the man, so I looked down at the swamp.

From this height, I could see a grander memory, as though all the smaller ones had converged into this singular vision. My eyes widened, heart pounding with raw fear. A chill ran down my spine as I glimpsed the silhouette of a towering figure below - his wings stretched threefold his size, with devilish horns crowning his forehead.

Another wave of light pulsed through the tunnel, and the silhouette disappeared.

My feet gently descended onto the white mist, which surprisingly held my weight. The glowing white hand released mine, its touch fading as the light surrounding his form softened, becoming gentler and more tolerable.

My eyes adjusted to his light. His pure white wings enveloped me, absorbing the lingering stains of dark memories that had tainted my soul. There were no wounds on my body, but the pain still coursed through me, relentless and unyielding, yet the tender embrace of his wings offered me just enough strength to endure it all.

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Panting and trembling, I lifted my gaze to his face, and instantly, I was drawn into a trance that felt timeless - an eternity leading to this moment. Consumed by his intense presence, I couldn't look away.

A figure sculpted from moonlight stood before me, his skin glowing as though illuminating from within. His golden orbs held the brilliance of the sun. His wings rose behind him, vast and shimmering. Each feather spun from pure frost, that sparkled with every movement.

The air around him was electrified with an energy that felt both alien and deeply familiar, a presence so immense it felt impossible to be contained within a single being.

My broken breaths hitched as I thoughtlessly crashed myself into his embrace.

"I don't want to be here. Please take me out of here," I broke into sobs, my heart racing.

Stroking my hair, he embraced me in his wings.

"I do not know why I expected her to be gentler with you. Maybe because you are her daughter. But some people don't change until the very end..." Asher's voice was like the gentle caress of sunlight in winter, contrasting the coldness crystallizing in his words.

"Please wake me up," I whimpered.

"I can't, Xanthea. I wish I could, but until you inherit all of her memories, you won't wake up. That's how your mother's experiments have always been. The only way to get out of them was to complete them. She wants you to feel her guilt, the pain she caused to others. But you are not alone in this. I'll bear this burden with you. Every step you take, I'll walk it with you."

I shook my head, tears streaming down my eyes incessantly.

I wanted to deny it all, forget it all, but even a fleeting glimpse was enough to carve it into my memory forever. The horrors I had already witnessed sent shivers through my body, and just the thought of what more might lie ahead filled me with dread.

I wanted to believe it was all a lie, but deep down, I knew it was the truth that had always lingered in my subconscious. The actual inheritance my mother had left behind for me.

Parting from me, Asher looked at me and I wanted him to keep looking at me, so that I could avoid looking at anything else.

"This is a dream. Just a dream. It can't be real. I don't want it to be real. Please say it's just a dream..." I said.

He lifted his hand, caressing my cheek.

"Of course, this is a dream, Xanthea, and I'm just a figment of your imagination. But who said dreams aren't real?" Asher said, and I shut my eyes, clenching my jaws as I lowered my head.

I glanced down at my feet, and though the dark tunnel had disappeared, its oppressive presence still lingered, like a predator waiting just beneath the surface. One wrong step, and I knew I would be swallowed whole.

I ran my fingers through my hair, breathing heavily through my mouth. Hugging myself, I knelt in the fog, my legs too weak to hold my weight.

"What is this place? Why am I here? I don't understand..." my voice cracked.

"Memories. Those monsters are your mother's memories; each charged with the worst of her guilts and guilt gnaws deep."

"It can't be. My mother would never do anything like that. She was... she is my inspiration, my idol, my-my everything. She can't even think of-"

"Is that what your heart says?" Asher asked.

Drawing my brows together, I clenched the white fabric over my chest. "Yes." The lie burnt deep inside me.

"Okay." Kneeling beside me, Asher pulled me into a hug. "In all your truths and all your lies, I'm with you. So, it's okay. You can trust your heart and I'll put all my faith in you. I trust you and I know you'll do what's right, regardless of what your heart says."

"I just want to wake up and go back to Ezra. I want to come back to you," I said, sniffling.

"I never left you, Xanthea. How could I?"

Swallowing the tightness in my throat, I contemplated him and then averted my gaze, shaking my head. I took a few minutes to gather myself and my erratic thoughts.

"Ezra is hurt because of me. It's all my fault..." I pressed my hands to my head, feeling as though it might explode at any moment.

The clouds around us thickened, slowly obscuring Asher from my sight.

"It's not your fault. None of this ever was your fault. Don't let your mother cloud your mind and your sense of self. You are not your mother. Always remember that." Asher's body glowed brighter, dispelling the clouds away from us. He glanced at the cloud circling around us and a film of memories floated across them. Those were my mother's memories flowing out of my subconscious in a controlled, gentler manner.

I saw a city bathed in gentle light. Its intricately designed buildings and statues were like marble spun from clouds, pathways that gleamed with an unearthly sheen. The air was filled with the soft laughter of children and the rustling of fresh winds through crystal chimes. Smiling blurred faces looked at us through the film.

It seemed to be a place untouched by all evil, sorrow, or grief. A place filled with hope, happiness and infinite possibilities.

"This is..."

"This is your mother's childhood," Asher said.

Unlike me, my mother's childhood was filled with love, warmth, and care. I wanted to feel happy for my mother, but I had never felt more detached.

"Your mother, Cadence Starsoul, was a celestial who fell from paradise," Asher said. "Or should I say... she was expelled from paradise."