Chapter 16 - Broken
“How could you do that? Just run off without a word! You know what? I don’t even want to hear it because there’s no excuse for that, no matter how angry you were. The thing is you didn’t even leave a message of any kind. You just left! We didn’t know what to think. Did you even stop to consider what that would have done to us? Do you have any idea how worried we were?”
Mom shouted at me as we sat in the living with the Morgans (Marcus and Salathia as well), and Hilda. We’d just arrived home, and upon seeing me my parents engulfed me with hugs and words and praise at how happy they were to have me back. Then, once they’d gotten in all they could, they started with the scolding.
It seemed I had been gone for two days, and as they would rather have my parents believe I’d run away rather than been kidnapped, Marcus and Salathia told them that I’d told Lyla I’d had enough of the island and it seemed like I ran away. They now believed Michael, Lyla, Nikolai and Hilda found out where I was and went to get me. As this was the only story we had, and somehow my parents found it easy to believe, I had no choice but to go along with it.
“Mom, I’m really sorry for what I did, believe me.” I said for what must have been the tenth time so far. Going along with this was a lie I needed to tell and, sorry to say, one I told very well. Before I found out about the supernatural, I’d never lied to my parents much, at least not about important stuff, but now it seemed all I did was lie every day about my whole life. I kept telling myself it was for their safety, and after what happened with Chris, I knew it was best.
“You keep saying that. You keep saying how sorry you are, but that’s not enough now. You really hurt us Chase, a lot.” Mom managed to say this before her voice became muffled as she tried to hold back sobs. Dad, who so far hadn’t said a word, put his arms around her and looked at me with deep disappointment in his eyes. I flinched as if his gaze somehow burned me and turned away, wishing he’d look somewhere else. I knew I had to go along with this, but it was causing so much pain. I suddenly felt a tug on the bond as Lyla tried silently to comfort me. I had to let her know just having her here was enough.
“I think you know you’re grounded.” Dad said softly. “Look, just go up to your room.”
I was about to protest, but he said “Now” in a voice so unknown to me that I couldn’t argue. I got up, intending to go straight to my room, but instead I stopped by Lyla, hugged her tightly and after a quick kiss, whispered: “Thank you.” Then I trotted up the stairs to my room and just fell down on the bed.
It felt so good to be somewhere familiar and safe again, but that didn’t stop the huge waves of anger inside me. I almost get killed and what do I get: punishment, though I would take being grounded rather than being dead any day. I couldn’t stop thinking about my parents either, about how I had hurt them. I knew it would take some time and a lot of work, but I was going to fix my relationship with them. I was going to work very hard at getting them to trust me again.
Working on me, on the other hand, was going to be more difficult as I had no idea how I really felt or should feel about what happened. I always thought people who escaped being killed by someone always felt a little out of it, and thought that was how I would have felt. But lying there on my bed, I felt fine. There was no after panic, no building fear, nothing of the sort and that got me wondering if I should be worried. Wouldn’t normal people be worried? Wouldn’t ordinary people be going through some kind of shock? Then again, ordinary people didn’t know about the supernatural and they surely didn’t have strange emotional connections with Aquamuns. What I really needed was to speak with Lyla. Even if she couldn’t explain this-- -and I was sure she could--having her reassure me would make me feel so much more at ease.
“You okay?”
I bolted upright in the bed as I heard the voice inside my room. I quickly looked around to see Lyla standing by the window. The fact that I wasn’t aware she was on her way up here puzzled me, but that flew right out of my mind when I noticed she wasn’t moving, as though she was afraid of getting close to me and was going to need to escape any second. I crawled over and sat down on the side of the bed.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked.
She very cautiously walked over and sat next to me, but left a considerable amount of space between us. Ever since we’d left the house Chris kept me at, I noticed Lyla was acting differently towards me. It was as though she couldn’t put enough physical distance between us. Even on the ride home in Michael’s truck, she’d let Nikolai sit between us and through our bond, I felt she was keeping her deepest emotions to herself. At the time I assumed she felt bad about whatever it was she did to Chris, and I tried to let her know I was thankful to her for saving my life, but she was unresponsive. So I just gave her some space. Now I was starting to wonder if there something more; maybe something about me.
“Lyla, please talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She laughed nervously before she answered. “You know, it’s funny. Even though I can feel your emotions, I sometimes have a hard time understanding what you’re feeling. Human emotions are so difficult.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
Lyla sighed and moved closer to me. I felt a little better, but still a little more nervous at
this.
“You must think differently about me now. After you saw what I did to Chris, how could you not?” She blurted out.
I detected a kind of self pity in her words that sounded out of place in her angelic voice.
“Why would you think that? You saved my life. Believe me when I say, if anything, I think better of you.”
I tried to reach out to her, but she recoiled before I could touch her as though she was protecting me from some contagious disease.
“Do you even have any idea what I did to him?”
I shook my head. “But I remember how it felt.”
“Do you remember when I told you I could be dangerous to you?”
“Yes. You said you could hurt me without meaning too. But you never really explained what you meant.”
She began rubbing her hands in her lap nervously, which was very unsettlingly for me because she was one of the most confident people I knew. It just felt so wrong for her to be acting this way. After a couple seconds, she began.
“The energy we use to perform the switch is powerful and dangerous. It isn’t power we pull from the sea or anywhere else, it’s always there, inside us. It’s an energy that’s ever constant and because of that we have to keep it bottled up inside us. Under the right conditions, which would be when we charm a human, when we release this power, it starts the switch.” A dark look settled over Lyla’s face. “But if we release this power on an uncharmed human, it becomes too much for them. The raw power is so overwhelming that it… it destroys their soul.”
Lyla’s voice broke on the last word and she turned her head away from me, her long curtain of hair hiding her face.
Admittedly I was shocked at what Lyla said. It was just so unbelievable, knowing Aquamuns could do that. Just another fate that was worse than death. I ran that over in my mind five times before I was finally able to really accept it. I remembered looking at Chris’s limp body and getting the strange feeling that there was something missing, that he’d lost
something valuable. I knew he was still alive, so I just thought he’d gone crazy, or that part of his brain had shut down.
I looked over at Lyla, who was still looking away from me. My heart began to hurt for her because I knew as much as she hated Chris for what he did, she was devastated over what she did. I knew she didn’t regret saving me, but I was willing to bet that she’d never done that to a person before in her life. And knowing Lyla, she would be thinking about how she had changed Chris’s life, even though he wanted to kill me.
“Lyla, look at me.” I reached for her hand and turned her towards me. “I still don’t think of you any differently. It’s not like you go running around blasting everyone who annoys you. You saved me, and that’s all that matters.”
She didn’t recoil or fight when I pulled her into my arms, but I did feel her unease when she said: “But what about you? Aren’t you afraid of the same thing happening to you? The thing is when I’m with anyone else, it’s not a challenge keeping this power inside me, but when I’m with you Chase, it becomes so much harder. What if I’m with you and I lose my control? You could end up like that, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself for being responsible for that.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, I want to take the chance if it means being at risk when I’m with you. Besides, I’m not so sure you can do that to me.”
A new theory entered my mind. Lyla fixed me with a curious stare. “What makes you say
that?”
“Well, look at the things that happened. So far I’ve heard your song and you’ve been in my dreams, but it didn’t enchant me or anything. We’ve been kissing for weeks now, and nothing’s happened. Lyla, we’re even linked emotionally. So even if you lose control of your power, which I don’t think you will, there’s a strong chance nothing will happen to me. I don’t think your power will affect me.”
“Chase, that’s just you being really optimistic. I’m not going to put that to the test. You’re too important to me.” She said incredulously, but that faded instantly as she noticed
how intently I was starting at her. It was amazing how the smallest amount of light seemed to make her beautiful face glow. I ran the backs of my fingers down the side of her face in an attempt to calm her. Immediately I saw in her eyes how emollient my touch was to her. Lyla always did say how incredible it was to her to be able to feel me.
I hope you’re right, I heard in my head. I actually sprang back in surprise, but quickly reassumed my position, as I didn’t want her to think she’d done something wrong.
“How did you do that?” I asked, hoping I merely sounded curious and not accusing. How could she keep that one from me?
“Do what?” She asked, alarm replacing her sadness.
“That thing you just did. You just said: ‘I hope you’re right,’ but it’s like you said it in my head.” I noticed that the look of alarm still on her face.
“Chase, you know I’m not telepathic. I can’t put thoughts into your head.”
“Lyla I know what I heard. Didn’t you just think that?”
“Well, actually yes I did.” She responded slowly, looking pensive. “But how could you have heard that? The bond between us is emotional, not mental. You shouldn’t be hearing my thoughts.”
She seemed to be getting frustrated with herself, as if some long-time belief she had was being questioned.
“Maybe our bond is still growing. Or maybe…” Another idea was beginning to expand in my head. “Maybe the closer we get, the strong our own connection gets, the deeper and more intense our supernatural one gets.”
Lyla turned this over in her head for a couple of seconds, then said: “Well we can’t leave it like this. We’ll have to see if that’s true, but we can’t test it now. I’ve got to go. My parents want to hear everything that happened. They’re not exactly happy about what I did, even though they understand why I did it.” She stood up and was about to hop through the window
when I grabbed her around the waist in time and pulled her into a tight hug that I hoped was at least some comfort to her.
“You know I’m always with you, right?” I said.
“Yeah, I know.” Through our connection I felt both relief and sadness at that. I reluctantly let her go. She left after kissing me on the cheek and I watched her speed off towards her house.
Slightly depressed, I lay on the bed and concentrated on our bond. Earlier it felt as if Lyla was trying to keep her feelings from me. The cause I didn’t know, but now with her mind on her parents, she either forgot or didn’t bother keeping her true feelings from me and I was finally able to get a sense of what she was really feeling. After shifting around, I felt the happiness and relief she felt and I was able to tell it was for me. But further down there was also confusion, pain, remorse and regret. I could tell they weren’t for Chris, so I couldn’t understand why she felt this way. But what really held my attention was something I’d never felt before. Not from Lyla or even myself. It wasn’t really an emotion by itself, but more of a by-product of her emotions. It was something sad. I couldn’t figure it out and when I got too close to it, it began to work its way into my emotions, scaring me so much, I had to instantly push it away.
It was like she dreaded it so much it came out of her fear. Just then I felt a pull in the connection. Lyla was happily acknowledging I was there. But she must have felt what I was doing, because her dark, sadder emotions suddenly disappeared as if hidden behind some cloud or fog. For a while I tried to sift around silently, hoping to pick up something real, but all I got was what she wanted me to feel: happiness, relief and love.
After a while--when she was probably still in the meeting with her family--two new, more familiar emotions appeared. Fear and anger. But almost instantly those were also pulled behind the fog. I pulled myself away from the connection, and as I lay on my bed staring up at the black roof, I finally knew she was keeping something from me.
* * *
My parents decided to keep me home for the rest of the week, but it wasn’t as exciting as it sounded. Along with being grounded, I also wasn’t allowed any company, I couldn’t use the computer, I couldn’t do anything but read. So during my time at home I had nothing to do but catch up on the assignments which my friends brought over. Maybe I should say ex-friends. The first day Brandon and the others came over to bring me my homework, I was glad to see them, but I was really hurt (though I won’t be telling them that) to hear them tell me they aren’t going to be friends with someone who thinks they’re too good to live in East Island. That was a hard blow for me. I wondered if Justin would take the same view when he got out of hospital.
My parents believed I wasn’t seeing anyone. But every night Lyla would come over and spend the night with me, and sometimes even Nikolai would and try to persuade me to sneak out, but I always declined. Every time Lyla came over I asked her if everything was alright and she always say yes with a convincingly sweet smile. But I would feel a trace of her emotions behind the fog again, and that was really beginning to disturb me.
When I returned to school everything didn’t go back to normal as I’d hoped, because even then, and even though I was with her a lot of the time, she always felt so far away. She never joined in any conversations the others started. Every now and then she’d smile or nod or chuckle a little and that seemed enough for everyone else, but it wasn’t for me. And it wasn’t even just her. Nikolai was acting really strange all of a sudden, really out of his character. He was acting unusually… normal, as if something had tamed his spirit. And I noticed he’d always give Lyla strange looks that I couldn’t understand. Too bad I wasn’t connected to him too.
I knew Lyla’s mind was on something else. I just couldn’t figure out what, which made me think it had to be something I didn’t know about. And then one day when we were at lunch, our other friends were happily discussing something and Lyla was once again staring off into space (still no one else noticed her change as long as she looked at them every now and then). I was sitting next to her, playing with my mashed potatoes and strangely enough, wishing I could read her mind.
BAM! That’s when it came to me. Maybe I could read her mind. Since that time in my room it hadn’t happened or wasn’t mentioned again, and it wasn’t like her to forget something that important, which got me thinking maybe she didn’t want me control that link. What else was a guy to do?
I looked over at her. It was amazing how still she could remain still for periods of time and just concentrate on nothing. There was a light breeze blowing; not enough to blow paper away or anything, but apparently it was strong enough to make Lyla’s jet black hair dance and fill the area with both her and her brother’s aroma. I realized I was staring at her longingly, so I pulled myself out of my stupor to concentrate on what I wanted to try.
She was distracted, which was rare, so this would be the perfect time, when she wouldn’t fight me.
“Hey, I gotta go,” I said, suddenly getting up and pushing my untouched food away. “I just remembered I’ve got an assignment to finish, so I need to get to the library ’cause Mrs. Best refuses to let me borrow the book ’cause the school only has two copies, as if they’ve never heard of the Salvation Army.”
That was supposed to be a parting joke, and it fulfilled its purpose. Everyone laughed; even Lyla chuckled. I wondered if it was real or for show. Before she could get up, I bent down and kissed her quickly.
“You don’t have to come. I can do this alone. Stay and finish your lunch. I’ll see you later,” I said to her slyly. I said goodbye to the others and left.
I knew I would obviously need to concentrate and as the classrooms were all locked at lunch, I headed straight for the library. Once there I deposited my bag and looked for a place that was both empty and secluded. Lucky enough for me, I found such a place at the very back of the room. It was almost completely surrounded by bookshelves. I took an information technology book from the shelf, just in case anyone wanted to know what I was doing. Once I was well secured in my hidden position with the book open in front of me, I leaned back in the
chair and closed my eyes to focus, because I figure I’d have to apply the same practice to the mental search as the emotional one.
As soon as my eyes were closed, my ears seemed to have become sharper because the noise around the school of people playing and others laughing seemed to boom louder than ever. But surprisingly, it wasn’t an annoyance. Usually whenever I’m submerging myself into our bond, I have to shut out all noise, but this was a great deal more than I was used to, and even though all the windows were open and the fans on, the library was uncomfortably warm. Concentrating extra hard, I ignored all noises and distractions and focused on Lyla. If there really was a mental link between us, I had no idea what would trigger our connection. So I focused on trying to bond with her mind instead of her emotions. It wasn’t exactly an easy task. At first, our emotional bond kept pushing itself toward me, as if by now it knew when I wanted to be one with Lyla. As this wasn’t what I wanted, I had to be constantly pushing it away.
After nearly twenty minutes (lunch was almost over) the only thing I achieved was drifting off to sleep for a few minutes. I got nothing even remotely close to Lyla’s thoughts in my head, and I was becoming conscious of the fact that I was still alone and hidden as if I’d done something wrong. Apparently Mrs. Best also shared this opinion, because every now and then she threw suspicious looks at me from behind her desk.
I opened my eyes, got up and kicked the desk in frustration, which earned me looks from everyone in the room, including Mrs. Best, all of which I ignored. The IT book fell to the floor and I bent down to pick it up. The second my hand touched it, a horrible pain flashed through my head. It was so intense I stumbled into the book shelves behind me, but thankfully, it was gone as quickly as it had come. When I looked up, I saw Mrs. Best hurrying towards me, her small, bony face full of concern.
“Are you all right? Do you need help?” She gently took hold of my shoulder as to prevent me from falling again.
“No ma’am. I’m alright, I just stumbled,” I said as I handed her the book.
She looked at me oddly, but simply took the book and walked away. As soon as she was behind her desk again and everyone had stopped staring, I fell back into the chair, mostly because I wanted to get off my feet in case something happened again. I’d never experience anything like this before.
I wondered if Lyla felt it. If she did she would be concerned and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples in an attempt to relax, but as soon as I did this, sounds and images I’d never had and couldn’t control began flashing through my mind and they were all of Lyla. Some were of her childhood from decades ago. Some were of her family and past friends and then there were some of me, and these were the most frequent. What surprised me the most were the flashes of memories of Kristian’s dad, which was odd, because from what Lyla told me, I figured the Somorians kept well away from the Morgans, so I couldn’t think of why they would be meeting.
In these memories Mr. Taylor always looked grave, as if he was giving some kind of bad news. The memories were incoherent and out of sequence, but one phrase that struck me was: ‘…has caused unease in the community. There needs to be a meeting.’ After this memory followed another of Nikolai telling Lyla she needed to make her mind up about me. At that moment, the bell began ringing, signaling the end of lunch, startling me and pulling me away from the memories. Along with the other students in the room, I took up my bag and headed off to my fifth lesson, giving Mrs. Best a smile on my way out as she was still peering at me.
I took my time walking to English, even as other students kept brushing me as they hurried to class. There was a lot I needed to think about and I just needed a few minutes to do it. I couldn’t believe it actually worked, it was nothing like our emotional bond, yet now that I was out of her mind, I felt that same longing to go back as soon as possible. All the memories I’d pulled from Lyla’s mind were still swimming around at the front of my head. I felt like they were just behind my eyes, like all I had to do was close my eyes and I’d start seeing them, like a quick video of her life. They seemed to be just banging against my skull, begging to be seen. I knew if I even glimpsed them I wouldn’t be able to stop, so they’d just have to wait for later.
No matter how many ways I thought about what I saw, I couldn’t make sense of it. Why is Mr. Taylor constantly seeing Lyla? Exactly what sort of meeting has to be held? Why does he want her to meet with whoever it is he wants her to see? And what is it that Nikolai keeps telling Lyla to talk to me about?
I sighed deeply. These were just more questions I couldn’t answer by myself, so I headed off straight to class. When I finally reached the third floor I was the last student there, but Ms. Harris hadn’t arrived yet. I scanned for Lyla in the class and saw her seated in the back the window. She was chatting away avidly with Charice, which was all I knew about her as we only had this class together. Lyla obviously knew I was on my way even before I arrived, but still looked surprised when I came in, probably for the sake of appearances. To my utter bewilderment, however, when she beckoned me over to the empty seat next to her, although she looked happy I felt an intense anger that was actually aimed at me, and to be honest, I was a little scared. I cautiously took the proffered seat and, once I did, she continued her conversation. Through the whole double-period, she said nothing to me. She just focused on the lesson and I decided to do the same. Not that I found MacBeth very interesting, but I knew that once the class ended she wasn’t going to hold back what she had to say. So after English was over I collected my things and tried to hurry out of the class, but she caught hold of my arm, took me outside, led me into an empty classroom and closed the door.
“You know, we’re going to be in trouble if…” Lyla held up her hand and cut me off.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare say anything,” she said in a forced soft voice, “What the hell did you do? And don’t lie to me, because I know exactly what you did. I felt it, just as you did. I know you searched around in my mind.” For some reason she now sounded scared as well as angry. “Tell me the truth. What did you find?”
I told her of everything I saw except the part about Nikolai. I thought it best not to let her know I knew she was keeping something important from me. I myself felt betrayed because she was keeping something from me.
“Lyla, why does Mr. Taylor want to see you? You’re keeping me out of everything. I know it’s your business, but not telling me what’s going on just makes me feel like I’m not a part of your life anymore, and that really hurts. Please tell me what’s going on,” I pleaded.
Lyla ran her hands through her hair and dropped into one of the chairs. Seeing her like this tore me up inside, because I felt like I should be able to help her.
“Chase, the Somorians have their own little communities and families. They care for one another. Chris was a part of one of those families. They know everything Chris did to you, and of what we did to help you. But some of them think I used my power on Chris, not as a last resort, but out of prejudice.”
“That’s crazy. How can they say that? He was going to attack us, if it wasn’t for you, one of us could be hurt, or worse right now.”
“Well Chase, they don’t see it that way, and to be honest I understand where they’re coming from. If it was the other way around, if one of them had hurt someone from my family, I’d say it was done on purpose just because they hate us. I’d want revenge too.”
“Whoa. Revenge? Who’s talking about revenge?”
“I guess that’s too strong a word. Justice is more suited. That’s why Kristian’s father has been coming to see us. He’s acting as the Somorians’ delegate. According to him, a lot of them are really fired up about this. They think they’re beginning to get restless.”
“But that makes it sound as if Aquamuns are some kind of uncontrollable creatures,” I said as if nothing could be more incorrect.
“Well, that’s exactly what they think,” she replied simply. “And to tell the truth, it’s not exactly wrong. Some Aquamuns are like that, the ones that are proud to be Aquamuns. They like to live life on the edge. They go anywhere and do whatever they want, without any repercussions. That’s how the Somorians know us to be. But my family is not like that, and have proved it a long time ago, but they don’t care about that.”
“Well maybe if I talk to them and explain…”
“NO!” Lyla shouted. “No Chase. I kept this from you because I don’t want you involved. Besides, I’m sure anything you say they’ll either ignore or try to spin it to make it sound bad. They’re just looking for an excuse to come after us.” She sighed, then said: “I was really hoping to have this settled by the time I told you this, but according to Paul, the civilians may want to attack us, but a fight’s the last thing the Somorians and my parents want. So Paul’s been trying to get me to meet with the elders to explain everything so they can have this resolved.”
Lyla said this so matter-of-factly that I couldn’t help but be amazed at her lack of fear of a potential impending attack.
“So when is this meeting supposed to happen, anyway?” I finally sat down now I was sure she wasn’t too angry anymore.
“It’s tonight. My family’s coming along with me. Of course we don’t have to go. We aren’t bound by their authority, so they can’t really do anything if we refuse, but father would prefer to have this over with now. “
“I wish you had told me all this before.” I whispered, trying to hide the pain in my voice. It was very disconcerting to learn that what I suspected was true. Lyla wasn’t just keeping one secret, it was quite a few. Truth be told, what got to me wasn’t that she was keeping things from me. I was sure she could fill a library with the secrets she in her hand over the decade, but it was more the fact that she couldn’t tell me something this important.
“Chase, don’t feel like that, please.” Lyla muttered. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to add anything more to your load. Chris was trying to kill you for weeks, and whether you admit it or not, it’s taken its toll on you. So I decided I’d handle this one on my own and let you rest. My intention wasn’t to hurt you. I just want you to have a life without all this supernatural drama. A normal life. “
“But I don’t want a normal life. Don’t you know I’d take all the horrors and drama in life as long as I get to be with you?”
Lyla opened her month to say something, but changed her mind, seemingly upon remembering something. Then she said: “Wait a minute. I’m supposed to be angry with you. I thought we agreed we’d wait awhile to try the mental link thing.”
“Actually we didn’t. You just said we didn’t have time that night.”
Lyla ignored me. “What if doing that caused some kind of brain damage to you? And most of all, why didn’t you just ask me first, before feeling like you had to go through my head to find out what you want?”
She was no longer angry. I, on the other hand, was starting to breathe harder with indignation.
“If I’d asked you, would you have told me? No, you wouldn’t. The only reason you did was because I’d already seen some of it in your head. The reason I did it is because nowadays, you don’t seem to tell me anything, even when I ask!”
I was beginning to shout, and Lyla looked completely taken aback.
“Ever since I got back you’ve been acting different towards me no matter how many times I try to make you understand--I don’t think of you any differently. You’re always so withdrawn from me now, and you’d think that wouldn’t really happen with us as we have this connection. I’m sorry, but…” I got up and turned away and lowered my voice, now feeling a little lugubrious. “I felt like it was the only way I could find out what was going on with you. But, I did violate your privacy and I am sorry for doing that.”
Lyla was just yelling at me for being nosy. You’d think I’d learn to give her some space. I knew she only minded when I found out something she didn’t want me to, but I couldn’t help checking our emotional bond.
“Chase, I’m concerned about you, me, I’m worried about what this meeting tonight could mean. It’s a lot of this.”
“Why are you still worried about me? Everything’s fine now. No one is trying to kill me and there’s no sign of the switch between us. Everything’s good, right?”
I knew she worried about me because she was afraid of inadvertently changing me. But as we got this far without much incident, I thought she would have relaxed a little. I guess I was wrong.
Lyla got up and sat on the desk in front of me. “It’s not that,” she looked at me with such intensity it felt as if her emotions were rolling off her onto me. “I’m also worried about the Somorians finding out about our bond.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m afraid some of them may react the same way Chris did. I don’t want to put you in that position. Not again. All they need to know is Chris wanted to kill you just for knowing us. That’s why I don’t want to bring you into this. I just want it to be over.”
I didn’t need any sort of connection with Lyla to know how to comfort her. I took hold of her hand and pulled her off the desk towards me.
“I want you to remember, however long this takes, or how difficult it gets, you’ve always got me by your side.”
“You know, even though I already know that, it’s still good to hear.” She paused for a couple seconds, during which I simply stared at her in awe and inhaled her amazing scent. It made me feel little light-headed.
Then Lyla muttered, “Please don’t ask me if you can come tonight. Because if you do, I won’t be able to say no, and I think that’s a bad idea. I know you want to be there with me, but this is something I have to do without you.”
She put her hand on my shoulder. Her hair felt like a kind of solid liquid. I felt like it was my duty to be there with Lyla, like I needed the Somorians to know I was going to stand by her, even if they didn’t like it or me. But after hearing what she had to say I realized I
underestimated her strength. I should have known better. Lyla was an incredibly strong person.
It had nothing to do with her being immortal. She had a strong heart and a powerful soul.
So along with being deeply in love, we were connected like no two people were and we spent so much time together, I figured maybe it was time to give her some space. I knew she would always come back to me in the end.
“Okay. I won’t ask you to go, but, you have to come see me tonight and tell we what happened. Deal?”
“Deal.” Lyla kissed me. It was so free of tension and wonderful that it immediately lifted my mood, and hers. Maybe everything was going to be fine after all. Hopefully everything would change for the better soon, I thought to myself. At that moment I embraced the euphoria that had risen inside me.
“Excuse me.” I heard from behind me. I turned around to see a bony, fourth year boy enter the room and take a seat, dropping his heavy bag on the floor.
“Aren’t you two late for class or something?” he asked as he took off his glasses to clean them. With Lyla’s hand in mine, we left the room chuckling and passed the boy’s classmates who were waiting outside, watching and giggling as they saw us leave.
* * *
That night, dinner with my parents wasn’t the tense affair it always seemed to be recently. They actually seemed to realize how sorry I was for ‘running away’ and really wanted to make amends, and they’d invited Justin, who was discharged from the hospital three days earlier. Even though he was out his doctor still hadn’t declared him fit for school yet, so he was now home most of the time, but went down to the harbour that day for the first time since he was discharged, which was how my parents saw him.
It was really good to have a (mortal) friend to talk to. Every one of my other friends in the neighborhood still wasn’t talking with me, and I was very happy when he didn’t decide to do the same after he learned what happened. He wasn’t happy to hear it, though.
Having Justin over was also an excellent way to pass the time, as I would have been stuck in my room letting the hours slide by, waiting for Lyla to come. Even after dinner my parent s allowed him to stay over longer, though I figured that was more for his benefit than mine. But it suited me just fine all the same. But all the distractions in the world couldn’t have stopped me from checking the bond every couple of seconds, and every time I did I felt nothing but Lyla’s surface emotions--mostly anxiety for the meeting to be over. That was something we both shared at the moment.
* * *
At a few minutes past ten, Dad walked Justin home, despite him saying he’d be fine alone. I was pretty worn out by that time, but very determined to hear what Lyla had to say. I’d actually become nervous because now I wasn’t feeling anything through our bond for a while now, which was causing my panic to grow by the second.
I expected her to be back by now, and her prolonged absence was made me uneasy. Even worse, I knew the reason I wasn’t feeling anything. She’d somehow closed off our connection, as if she didn’t want me to know anything unless she told me. So I had no idea what was going on. I paced up and down in my room for about twenty full minutes until I finally got so frustrated that, without thinking, I spun around and kicked the computer table. I wasn’t even phased by the fact that I’d almost destroyed it, but what did catch my attention was an object that was hidden behind all the junk on the table, which rolled to the edge and fell right into my waiting hand.
It was a snow globe. One I hadn’t seen in a long time. The glass sphere was a little dusty, but once I’d cleaned it, the little inside could clearly be seen. Distracted from my frustration and caught up in the moment, I gave it a little shake and held it up to the light. As the tiny sprinkles inside fluttered back down, the light passing through the glass caused them to sparkle in different colors, enough to make it look like a broken rainbow was falling on the village.
“Do you remember how you got that?”
I spun around to see Mom propped against the door frame. I shook my head. A dreamy, reminiscent look came over her face.
“You’ve had that for a long time.” She pointed at the globe. “Since you were five, to be precise. See at that time, you used to love swinging on the fridge door, even though your father and I kept telling you to stop. One day, it was just you and I at home, and I’d fallen asleep studying. I remember it was a crashing sound that woke me. When I got to the kitchen, you were crying and the fridge door was lying on the floor. It’s actually kind of funny now, but at that time, I was mad as hell. You got such a beating, you cried yourself to sleep.”
We both laughed the same way.
“After that you wouldn’t talk to me for a week because you felt I didn’t love you anymore. I tried everything to change your mind, and it hurt me so bad to know I made you feel that way. That’s when I bought you that. When I gave it to you, I told you no matter what, I will always love you.”
I looked at the snow globe again. “How strange I should find it at a time like this then, huh. Maybe I should give it back to you.” I held the globe out to my mother. She sighed deeply, then came in and sat on the bed. I sat next to her.
“I gave you that so you would always remember I love you.”
“Then why are you avoiding me? Ever since I got back you and Dad have barely said a civil word to me. And you know what Mom? That kinda hurts.”
“I’m sorry Chase. But it seems like these days we don’t know how to talk to you anymore. You used to tell us everything that was going on with you. But now you seem to be keeping so many secrets from us.”
Mom shook her head and looked at me sadly. Keeping secrets from my parents? She’d voiced the very thing I felt guilty about. Almost every child kept secrets from their parents. I knew that. But the ones I was keeping weren’t what the average person had to deal with.
“Mom. I’m not trying to keep you and Dad out of my life, but there are just some things I can’t tell you about.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re my situations to deal with and not something my parents can help me with. Look Mom, I’m not doing anything wrong or illegal or anything of the sort. But it is something I won’t get you involved in.”
“Does it have to do with Lyla?” I figured she already knew the answer to that and didn’t need me to tell her, so I said nothing. “Okay. Chase, I do trust you and love you. So does your father. He’s just… no. We’re just a little disappointed.”
“I know.” I whispered. It had started to rain. My mother fiddled with her fingers for a while, then got up to leave, but before she could I gripped her in a hug.
“I love you Mom, and I never wanted to hurt you.” She looked at me with a smile on her face, then ran her fingers through my hair. I shook my head slightly and she grinned.
“Sorry.” It was our old routine and I loved it.
“Hey Mom, one more thing,” I said as she headed for the door. “Am I still grounded?”
She laughed, turned to leave, then said: “Of course.” I had my Mom back.
We said goodnight and as she left I put the snow globe on the top shelf of my closet. As I did that, my hand passed across something. Leaving the snow globe up there, I pulled the
object down. It was a mahogany framed picture, but unlike the snow globe, I’d never seen this before. Just how many foreign objects can this room hold? I thought to myself. The photo was of Mom’s family. She was standing in the centre, wearing a long white dress and shoes, and her hair was in braids. She must have been about ten in the photo.
Standing behind her were my grandparents. Granddad was dressed in a black suit, and Grangran was wearing a white dress similar to Mom’s. They looked like they were going to church. But what, or who interested me the most was the young man standing in the front next to my young mother. He was black, tall, about the same height as Granddad, and looked to be around eighteen years old. He was also wearing a church suit.
He looked just like Mom, though his features were closer to Granddad’s--the chin and nose, but mostly the eyes, which had a small hint of blue, making the boy look like a much younger, handsomer version of Granddad. I had no idea who he was, but I figured he’d be family, which would explain why I felt I was somehow connected to him. I felt as if I should somehow know him, like we were alike.
“Mom!” I shouted over the sound of the rain banging against the house. My mother was back in my room within a couple of seconds. “Um, could you tell me who this is?” I held the picture up to show her. For a while, it was as though this picture was the only thing in her universe. She fixed it with such a strong look of longing on her face.
“Mom.” I said, slightly alarmed. She looked at me as though she’d just woken up. She took the photo from me and touched the part with the boy, as if hoping he could reach back.
“Where did you find this?”
“In my closet. Mom, who is he?”
“My brother.”
“I-I didn’t know you had a brother. Where is he? And why have I never met him? Don’t you guys talk anymore?”
Mom looked at me with sadness in her eyes. “Chase, Jonathan died twenty-six years ago, when he was eighteen. I was ten when it happened.”
She turned back to the photo, leaving me stunned. I didn’t expect anything like that. I’d never even heard her talk of having a brother.
“I don’t remember him well,” she said, still mesmerized by the photo, “just some small memories. Little things here and there, you know. But those are the things that keep him alive for me. This was actually taken a week before he died. It’s the only picture of him I have, but I thought I’d lost it a long time ago.”
“How did it happen?” I said carefully.
Mom took a few breaths before she answered. “We think he drowned.”
“What do you mean ‘think’?”
“Well, you see Chase, my brother loved everything to do with the sea. Every day he’d be at the beach and sometimes Dad used to have to go drag him home. Sometimes he used to go out in a sail boat he got when he was sixteen, even though my mother didn’t like it when he did. One day, he was planning to go out, but the sea was rough, and my parents asked him not to go, but he went anyway. They were so worried. I will never forgot the pain it caused them when a fisherman brought back the boat and told them Jonathan wasn’t in it when he found it. They were so determined to find him. They even went out with the search parties to try to find him, and even keep looking when Search and Rescue and Search and Recovery were both called off. Accepting that Jonathan died took something away from my parents, I could never tell what, but after that they were different. Not the normal way parents are after a child dies. I can’t really explain it, but they were never the same again. Okay, I can see that’s enough for you.” Mom said after looking at me.
She probably thought I was feeling horrible about what she’d just said and I was, but what I was really thinking about was how she and Dad almost had to go through that same
thing, if Chris had had his way. They would have had no idea what happened to me. They wouldn’t have deserved that.
“I’m okay Mom,” I simply uttered.
Mom nodded and said, “Do you mind if I take this?”
“Mom, it yours. Go ahead.” She smiled at me and left the room.
And that’s when it happened. At that moment, just like at school, a flood of images and sounds came rushing into my head. And even though at first I didn’t understand them, after a couple of seconds my brain was able to put everything in the right place so I was able see it as one whole memory. The abrupt stop of Lyla’s memories and the shock of what I’d just found out made me stumble to the floor. Mom came running back into the room, and she asked me something. I could see her lips moving, but I couldn’t hear a word she was saying and that was because the blood was rushing to my head way too fast because of the pounding of my heart.
Getting myself together, I got up and ran past my mom without a word. In a couple seconds, I was out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house into the pounding rain. All that mattered was getting to Lyla before it was too late. I didn’t have much time, because I knew, just like before, she felt what happened and would know I was on my way. That weird tingly feeling I got when I was nervous was now rushing through my body, which made me quicken my pace.
By the time I’d reached the bottom of the hill to the beach, I was soaked and I felt a horrible stitch in my side, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get to Lyla… to stop her. But by the time I got to the edge of the water (past Nikolai and Michael, who were standing on the beach looking somber) I knew it was too late. Lyla was already shoulder deep in the water when I yelled.
“Lyla don’t do this!! Come back. Please!” She only looked at me.
“Please don’t go! I’m sorry if I’ve done anything wrong,” I said as I waded into the water.
I felt someone’s hands close around my arms, but I shrugged them off. I was about to dive right into the water, but I froze when I heard Lyla shout: “Chase. I’m so sorry.” And then she was gone.
I shouted her name for what felt like hours. I ran up and down the beach looking for her (Michael and Nikolai refused to let me in the water). I even tried our bond, which was closed off to me. I fell to the ground, weak-kneed and dizzy, with a horrible sadness trying to force its way to me. Michael and Nikolai joined me, the three of us just staring off towards the empty black sea.