OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus

2121

Jai spent the next week, a mere shadow of her former self. Sean had tried his best to cajole her out of bed, but visiting her family’s remains was the only thing that spurred her to move. More often than not, she sat still, like a rigid oak, while inside she was splitting. Eventually, she forced herself to try something, anything, that might bring her peace. She looked around the room, at the paintings on the wall, and remembered. When she’d lost Dad, painting was her only respite.

She found her painting supplies, still there, in the closet. The strong scent of oils filled the room and, soon, her hands and clothes were covered with paint. She loved it. The way the paint stuck to her skin; the way it became embedded in her nails. It was messy and free, devoid of order or rules, the way she wished life could be. Canvas after canvas, she painted into the wee hours, losing all sense of time. She captured the beauty of the places she’d visited with Dad, Darin, and Mom. She felt a surge of happiness as she painted each scene. But, the more she held the brush in her hands, the more the bright, sunny skies and deep blue oceans faded to a dreary ombre of grays and blacks.

She couldn’t shake the hopelessness that had filled her mind. She would have to return to New York, to a penthouse filled with beautiful things, things that she’d enjoyed with her mother. What meaning would they have, what enjoyment could they give, now that her mother was gone? Where can I escape? To Napa? Even there, the vineyards held the promise of life, while hers felt empty. Darin, Dad, Mom. Her family was here, in that garden, overlooking the pond. Where can I go that’s home? More and more, she thought her home was there, with them.

“Jai, come with me,” Sean urged. She woke up, surprised that she’d passed out on the bed. Sean stepped over a pile of sketches to reach her. He pulled her up. She looked at him despondently. Dressed in a suit and tie, he sat beside her. “We’ve got thirty minutes to get ready.”

“For what?” Jai glared at him, wondering what could possibly be more important than holing up in her bedroom.

“I know what you’re thinking, Jai. If you think I’m going to let you languish in here for another day, you’ve got another thing coming.” He nudged her neck with the tip of his nose, and she breathed in his heady cologne. It was the only scent she’d encountered that left her boozy and, come to think of it, confused. I’ve never seen him put on any cologne. Does he even own any? “Besides,” he said, interrupting her preoccupation, “it’s rude to keep company waiting.”

“Company?” Jai cringed at the thought and rolled her eyes. “Not another surprise, Sean.” I’m content here, she reasoned. At least here, she knew what to expect. A long line of shadows ambling predictably across the room as the sun rose and fell, capturing the furniture that hadn’t moved an inch. She wasn’t prepared to venture elsewhere, to the rush of colors and tastes and sounds that awaited her, beyond that door. What company? Had she forgotten a long-lost relative, popping by?

Sean looked around the room, at the exquisitely dark paintings around them and pursed his lips. “What company?” Jai asked, aloud this time. He answered her with a beautifully wrapped box. She opened it. Light blue tissue crinkled inside. She unwrapped it, revealing a satin gown, navy with a black sheen to it. Before she could barely get out a thank you, Sean had already shot up off the bed. Throwing the curtains and windows open, he flushed the room with a mid-day breeze and the sound of birds chirping. She tried to stop the chirping from grating on her nerves. Look at Sean. He’s trying so hard. Be appreciative, Jai reminded herself.

By 5 p.m., Sean had managed to wrangle Jai into a bubble bath, then slipped the gown over her head. “Now, isn’t that better?” He smiled at her in the mirror, and placed his cheek against her own. Jai looked at the two of them, standing side by side. He gazed at their reflections, hopeful she’d allow herself the luxury of a night off from her perpetual suffering. “I know it’s hard right now. I’m here for you,” he assured. He swept her up and carried her downstairs.

Jai laughed. “I’m not an invalid, you know.”

“Despite outward appearances?” She didn’t have a chance to respond. He ordered, “Quick, close your eyes.” She glared at him. “Do it,” he repeated, a grin on his face. Jai sighed and humored him. He placed her down and held her hand, guiding her past all the rooms on the main floor. “Okay,” he whispered. Slowly, she opened her eyes and found herself standing in the atrium beside the sala, a starry sky above them. Torches and candles surrounded the banquet table, decked with a formal setting and many dishes.

“This is amazing, Sean.” She could smell the aromas from each plate and caught her mouth watering. “Is that? Don’t tell me you carved that watermelon?” She looked at him, incredulously. The green skin was carved into rows of leaves, wrapped around a delicate rose; the watermelon’s pink flesh bled into each white petal.

“What else could I do while you were cooped up in there?”

Is there anything Sean can’t do? she wondered. “It looks too good to eat.” Jai smiled.

“Nothing’s too good to eat, Jai.” He sat her down at the head of the table, and handed her a bell to ring.

“Uh…seriously?” Jai smirked.

“Yes. Can’t eat without it.”

“Okay, then,” she said and jangled it. Immediately, a set of French glass doors slid open. In walked Diana, Avena, Mach, and Borda, all dressed to the nines. Jai stared at them. “You didn’t!” she said, laughing. She looked back at Sean, then back at them. “Oh my god, you didn’t!”

“Of course he did,” Avena said, running to hug her. “I’d kill him if he didn’t invite us.” Jai’s heart burst with joy, seeing the four of them again. It caught her by surprise, how warm she felt, after sequestering herself for so many days.

“Took him long enough,” Borda complained.

Jai smiled as she embraced them all. “I can’t believe you guys came.”

“Of course we did. We wanted to be with you. You’re family,” Diana said and kissed her cheek.

“Besides, who wouldn’t want to visit, after hearing all of Joy’s travel stories?” Mach asked.

They took a seat and shared a toast, to the life Joy had lived and how she had lived it. They took turns retelling her tales, laughing and drinking until the early morning. As Jai stood to clear the table, Avena took her by the hand. “Walk with me. I have to see it,” she said. Jai led them to the garden overlooking the pond. Avena stopped at the columbarium. “It’s beautiful,” she said with a sigh.

“Thanks. I still remember designing it with Mom and Dad, after Darin passed.”

Avena linked arms with Jai. “How are you holding up?” she asked. She couldn’t help but notice Jai smiling at dinner, then see her face fall.

“Not well,” Jai admitted. “Honestly, this is the first day of five that Sean’s managed to get me out of my room. We laid Joy to rest, and I just shut myself in there. I don’t know what to do with myself. Breathing hurts. Remembering hurts. Wanting her here with me…it hurts. It’s all too painful. I can feel it in my bones. Worst part is, I have this overwhelming feeling that I failed.” She paused, and shook her head. “I should’ve done more to save her.”

Avena held her hand. “Listen, Joy told me you’d offered to give her your blood.” Jai looked at her, surprised. “Joy confided in me, and you know how she was. No contingency left unplanned. She knew you’d beat yourself up about this when she was gone. She wanted me to remind you, it was her choice. Her decision. You did everything you could, everything she wanted you to do.”

Jai shook her head again, knowing no matter how hard she’d tried to make peace with it, she wasn’t able to forgive herself. Not yet…and maybe never. “I’m sorry, Avena,” she said, trying to focus, trying to live the life Joy wanted her to live. She looked at Avena, trying to be present, with her new family, right now. “I know I should be grateful. You guys flew all the way here just to surprise me, to lift my spirits. I even caught myself laughing at dinner.” Jai frowned.

“Oh, Jai.” Avena hugged her. “You don’t need to feel guilty when you have a good time. You know Joy wouldn’t want you to feel that way.”

“It’s only been a week though. I should be mourning.”

“Of course, you’ll mourn. It may take years to make peace with it. But, we both know she’d want you to enjoy your life. That’s all she ever talked about these last few months. You should’ve seen the joy she had in her eyes, seeing you with the five of us…imagining all the adventures you’d continue to have. She made sure I knew all your favorite hot spots and your bucket list.” Avena smiled. “You know, I trained pretty hard for this. She said I made her varsity squad.”

“Her what?” Jai arched her brows and turned to Avena, perplexed.

Avena laughed. “Joy said I’m your cheerleader, from here on out.” Jai rolled her eyes and smiled, thinking, Mom certainly thought of everything.

Avena sighed and touched Jai’s arm. “Just try not to be sad 24/7. It’s not the way life works. Life keeps moving, no matter what we’ve lost. Having lost your brother and father, I’m sure you know that. It’s just different when you lose the last of your family. I know.

“When my parents abandoned me and Sean, it was a death of sorts. They’re still alive, but they might as well not be. We haven’t talked to them since the day they kicked us out. Still, Sean and I…we mourn them, the family we thought we had. I’m still in mourning. In some ways, it hasn’t gotten easier. In other ways, it has. As for Sean…he doesn’t look it, but he struggles with it a lot. Joy made it much easier on him. You know. He’s hardly kept it a secret, how much he loved your mom. When he says she’s more a mother to him than our own mother, he’s not kidding. She meant the same to me.

“It’s especially hard, when you know what a parent should be, and your own doesn’t measure up. For years, Sean and I parented each other. We’re lucky to be twins. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. But, honestly, neither of us can truly fill the void our parents left. When Sean met Joy, and I became closer to her through you, it shocked me to see how much I’d missed that warmth, that love that only a parent can give. She gave that to me, Jai. I just want you to know that. How much I cherished her, how much I’ll continue to love her. We all will.” Avena sniffled.

“I know,” Jai said, caressing Avena’s face. She wiped the tears from Avena’s eyes, the same deep green color as Sean’s. “Thank you. You’re a sister to me, you really are.” Jai looked back at her family’s remains. “All of you’ve made my mother’s wish come true. She always wanted me to have a family, especially when she was gone.”

“Our family of six,” Avena agreed and smiled. They walked back to the house, laughing at how boisterous their little family was. They climbed the steps from the beach to the atrium. “What was that?” Avena asked. They heard the sound of screams, growing louder. Jai climbed faster.

“No! What’s the point of waiting?” Borda flung himself away from the table.

“Calm down!” shouted Mach. Borda picked a wine bottle off the table and barreled past Jai and Avena. Avena nodded quickly at Jai and ran after him.

“What’s going on?” Jai asked. Diana and Mach stood silently, as Sean shot them a be-silent look. “Seriously. What happened?”

Mach opened his mouth to speak, but Diana interrupted him. “Not now,” she whispered. Mach stayed mute.

“Okay, if someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on right now, all hell’s gonna break loose,” Jai threatened.

“We don’t want to worry you,” Diana said, apologetically.

“Well, if something’s wrong, I want to help. Mom would want me to. Besides, I could use the distraction.” They stood, silent. “Just spit it out!” Jai yelled.

“Fine, fine,” Sean said, shaking his head. “Borda wants to kill them, the people responsible for the attack at Club O, the same ones who killed his parents.”

“He knows they’re connected?” Jai asked.

“Yes, he figured it out,” Mach said.

Diana explained. “The week you were spending time with your mom, right before she passed, was also the anniversary of Borda’s parent’s murder. Each year, we all go out with Borda, as a group. This time, everyone else was suddenly indisposed; I was his only babysitter. We didn’t want to tell Borda we were going to investigate the incident at Club O, in case there was no real connection between the incident and his parents’ murder.”

“That’s right,” Sean said. “It was the first time we realized that the woman who murdered Borda’s parents bore the same tattooed blade as the man who videotaped the Club O incident. It was too soon to tell if our suspicions were correct.”

Mach nodded. “We agreed Diana would stay behind, to be with Borda while everyone else went. When we returned, Borda found out we’d kept him in the dark. He was livid. But, we did it to protect him. We didn’t want to rip open any old wounds if it wasn’t truly necessary.”

“And, what’d you guys find?” Jai asked.

Sean said, “We tried to track down the person who recorded the video. We weren’t able to identify him by name. The news lumped all the onlookers together, but it turns out the videotaper wasn’t with the rest of the witnesses that evening. When we tracked down the humans who had chased the sentient away, none of them knew the videotaper. But, they were able to confirm that he was male, and he was already standing there when their group approached. They saw him from afar, as they were walking up the street. He was already standing there maybe five, ten, minutes by the time they walked up. A few of them claim he was talking to the sentient and the victim before anything happened.”

Mach chimed in again. “They said the man was pointing at the two of them, the human victim and the sentient. Nothing appeared to be wrong until their group came close. Then, suddenly, the sentient’s grabbing hold of the victim’s collar, and the victim’s shrieking in agony. The way the group described it, it went from zero to a hundred in three seconds.”

“That’s interesting,” Jai said. “The man was pointing at the sentient and the victim, like he was directing them?”

“Yes,” Sean agreed. “And, ultimately, we weren’t able to identify who that director, that videotaper, was.”

“I see. And, where’s the sentient now?” Jai asked.

“Captured by the police, or so we’ve been told,” Sean said. “But, I’ve run his specs with the likely dates and times, in all of the federal and state criminal databases, even the FBI and CIA systems. Nothing came up. No hits on intake, no fingerprinting, no DNA swab. Nothing. There’s literally no trace of him.”

Mach reminded them, “You can tell from the video how violent the attack was. The victim’s face was smashed clear across a brick wall.” He shook his head. “So, we worked our Club O contacts. The club’s shut down, but they let us in. We were able to obtain trace amounts of blood and hair, from the victim and the sentient.”

“Plenty of DNA to be had, and still no record?” Jai asked.

“None,” Diana said. Sean nodded.

“Whatever this is, it’s not kosher,” Jai said. “Too much time has passed for the systems to be devoid of any information.”

“Precisely,” Sean agreed.

“And, you had to explain that to Borda?” Jai asked. “I don’t envy you.”

Sean nodded. “It was difficult. The night we came back, he confronted us. We told him why we’d left him behind and apologized. But, it did little to assuage his anger. Of course, we don’t blame him. He wants justice for his parents. We do too, but he wanted to go back to Club O, as if that would help. We told Borda Club O wouldn’t turn up any more clues, that we’ve got to wait, to sit tight until we have a better lead. We just tried to tell him again, tonight: South Carolina’s a dead end. But, he’s got a one-track mind; he wants to murder the people responsible for killing his parents. Unfortunately, the trail’s cold. He refuses to accept that.”

Mach shook his head despondently. “He won’t listen to reason, especially so close to the anniversary of his parent’s murder.”

Diana turned to Jai. “And, he’s still pissed at us for excluding him. It’s a miracle we’ve even seen him in the flesh. Tonight’s the first time we’ve seen him since he found out we’d left him last week.”

“That was ten days ago!” Jai said, shocked. It wasn’t like Borda to go missing. Since she’d met the group, not a day had passed without him lazying around, a constant fixture. Laying on a couch, leaning against a wall, making his presence known with the occasional bad-mannered remark, he had a way of fading into the background, which was, to his credit, a feat, given his 6’5” frame. But, he was always there, with them, the only family he had left. What would Borda do, if he wasn’t with them? The only thing that had ever mobilized him to action, that Jai had ever seen, were his horses; even then, he’d only be gone a few hours, half a day, max. Absent that, it was the club to home; home to the club; everywhere with the five, and now six, of them since Jai had come along.

“I know. We’ve been worried sick about him,” Diana said. “You know, we haven’t even heard from him this entire time. Complete radio silence. No matter how many times we contacted him, no answer.” Leaning in, Diana arched her gaze upward and smiled at Jai. “The only thing that brought him around was you, apparently.”

“Me?” Jai was amazed.

Sean smiled. “We sent word we were all coming here and asked that he join us. He didn’t respond, just showed up on your doorstep at precisely the scheduled time.”

“Early, in fact,” said Mach, laughing. “I caught the bugger walking the neighborhood this morning as I was driving up.”

“And, did you see his face at dinner?” Sean said, joining in the laughter. “He really did his best to keep Jai in the dark. He didn’t want her to know anything was amiss. I had to bite my tongue a few times to keep from laughing out loud.”

“It’s really quite endearing,” Diana said, fondly. “To see that particular man squirm. He did quite well, I’d say, keeping up pretenses, answering every dig we threw at him, with only a hint of his trademark sarcasm. Must’ve been hard, after going cold turkey all those days. I thought he’d jump out of his skin if dinner lasted just one minute longer.”

“So that’s why dinner seemed like a round of Twenty Questions,” Jai said, smiling.

“Yea.” Sean shook his head with laughter. “Love that guy to death, we certainly do. We just couldn’t help it. When would we get another opportunity to take advantage of Borda actually restraining himself?”

“Never,” said Mach, laughing again. “It’s a real testament to you, Jai. He doesn’t do polite or punctual,” Mach reminded, as he nudged Jai’s side with his arm.

“Nope,” Diana agreed. “Just not in his vocabulary. At least, until now.” She looked at Jai fondly. “Yet another reason to have you in our happy little family.”

“And, now?” Jai turned anxious. “He’s clearly upset.”

“Don’t worry, Jai,” Mach said. “He bolted out of here like a bat out of hell, but he’ll be fine. He always is. As apathetic and inattentive as he often seems, he’s actually got a good head on his shoulders.”

“His temper just needs to chill,” said Sean.

“Well, I’m going to go find him,” said Jai. She left the three of them to finish the last bottle of wine, the only bottle Borda had left behind. She walked through the sala, to the living room where Avena sat, rubbing Borda’s back.

Avena walked across the room to meet Jai, his bottle of wine empty in her hands. She said, “I’ll take this to the kitchen and give you guys some time. He’s woozy still. Couldn’t be more tired than I am though. That guy can run.” Jai smiled and patted Avena on the arm. Jai saw him, his knees bent far past the couch, hunched over, as he held a photo of Jai, Darin, and her parents in his large, rough hands. Sitting down beside him, she didn’t say a word. Too often, people had told her “It’ll all be fine” when her family members had died. Inside, she thought the opposite. She sat quietly, for him.

Minutes passed before he opened his mouth to speak. “Does it get any easier? Has it, for you?” His voice shook, somehow rougher given the sincerity, the plaintive tone of his inflection.

Jai sighed before answering. “No. Time hasn’t done anything to dampen the pain, the longing. I lost Darin and Dad years and years ago. But, I miss them, just as much as I miss Mom, who’s just passed.”

Borda grinned as a tear ran down his face. “Thank you, for being honest. They just say it’ll get easier,” he said, throwing his head back, toward the atrium where they were all sitting. “You know them, though. They’d rather cut themselves than cut you. They think it’s better to lift my spirits with a kind word than level with me sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame them for encouraging me. I know how I can be. But, they don’t really know what it’s like.

“All their parents are alive. Though I’d like to kick Sean and Avena’s parents in the face, if only they’d let me, those black hearts are still beating along. And, Mach and Diana? Well, they’re lucky. One of Mach’s parents is sentient, and both of Diana’s are sentient. So, it’s no wonder they still enjoy a semblance of a normal family. Me? I’ve got two murdered parents. Two humans who meant the world to me, who gave of themselves, gave me every opportunity. Even when I told them I’m sentient, their response was simple. ‘That’s great, son. I always knew you were gifted.’ Gifted!” Borda repeated the word, cynically. “What good did that do? What gift could it have possibly been, when being sentient didn’t help me save them?

“No, this gift is a curse. Made me wake up, fully healed, only to find them dead, shot on the floor. You know, I could hear their cries as I passed out? I fought it and fought it, tried so hard not to go blank, but the blackness knocked me out. Only to shoot my eyes open a few minutes later. When I came to, their faces were shot off. I could only tell it was them from their clothes.” Jai placed her hands down, to steady his shoulders, as they heaved violently up and down. She held on to him, the couch shaking with his cries until suddenly, his body slumped, his head falling straight into her lap.

“Shh…shh…I know,” Jai said, stroking his deep blue-dyed hair. He blinked slowly, his eyes beginning to close. “I’m sorry, Borda,” she said. “I know you’ve had it worse than so many in this world. Even I haven’t been through that pain. I wish I could’ve been there to help stop it from happening in the first place. We all do. It’s no wonder you’re going through a hard time. You may have more hard days, you may. But, remember, today is different. Every day is new. And, we’re all here for you. I’m here for you,” Jai repeated it, as she continued to stroke his blue hair. She wondered what his natural hair color was, and noticed he hadn’t styled it in its usual spikey way. No, it was a soft, gentle mess. She looked at him, a mere boy in her arms, and realized how hard it must be, to know someone had murdered the ones you love. Not cancer. Not an accident. Not old age. But, a person, many people, with faces and names and evil plans, plans to rob you of the only family you would ever have. “I’ll help you find the murderers,” Jai said, her eyes growing distant. “They’ll pay for what they’ve done.” And, with a chill in her voice, she promised, “Of that, I’m certain.”