North x Northwest

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“I would’ve drawn you if it weren’t for mealtime. It’s a shame.”

When Ed pressed his lips on Lil’s, she felt her chest throb before he fell away.

‘How am I feeling this way when we are only an inch away? Love is complicated… I don’t feel happy or excited all the time. Rather, it’s more like an unknown, tingling sensation that’s close to pain… It’s not even funny. If my heart is squeezed this often, I seriously think I might die young?’

Lil looked at Ed’s side profile. Seeing the wind ruffle his hair, Lil found that the wind suited him as well.

“You look really good too.”

“Of course I do.”

“…”

Ed even said that in such a nonchalant manner that it sounded sincere.

‘Yeah, right! I forgot that this guy’s a narcissist…’

The chest pain Lil felt only seconds ago was instantly subdued.

She gulped down the cold tea, the awkward coldness seemed exactly like her heart.

While drinking, Lil pondered about her awkwardness.

‘I want to express my affection towards Ed too, but I can’t think of anything else to do other than lead on to go to bed together… every night… None of the affectionate words that Ed usually tells me are returned… All I do with Ed instead is kiss him and take off his clothes when I can’t overcome those intense emotions… But if I look at Levi and Linhardt…’

Levi was in ​​Linhardt’s arms. With the latter wrapping his arms around her waist, Levi’s lips were close to the man’s chin while she was constantly saying something. She then giggled and stamped her feet in joy. Lil could tell that on her part, she could never find herself rubbing her cheek and stamping her feet in Ed’s arms.

To put it bluntly, maintaining her relationship with Ed was more difficult than any relationship she had ever experienced. The reason probably lied in the fact that her emotions had always been repressed and never expressed.

Ed asked Lil, who was blankly tightening the hold on an innocent piece of bread.

“What are you thinking about so much?”

“I’m wondering if I can ever learn how to be flirtatious.”

Ed spit out the tea he was drinking and coughed. He was so surprised by Lil’s answer that his face turned red from embarrassment. After coming back to his senses he quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

“Why… ack… why are you thinking about that?”

“Well, I was thinking about how normal people express their feelings.”

“Aha. Courtship… So, you’ve been thinking about courtship.”

“Most people use sweet words or do silly things. I’m not good at either of that and at this rate, I might die first before I even get to learn how to do that…”

“…”

Ed suddenly sat with his head bowed down. He appeared to be clutching his stomach, but because he was wearing a coat, Lil couldn’t be so sure. It was only when his shoulders began trembling that she realised that Ed was indeed laughing wildly. She didn’t even need to see his quirky grin with her own eyes. She could simply picture it.

“How could you laugh at what I just said?!”

“…”

Despite her outburst, he went on with his laughter without listening.

Lil quietly put down the bread and teacup before dusting off her hands. After putting Ed’s meal aside as well, she pushed the man, still preoccupied with laughter, with both hands as hard as she could.

“Why are you laughing?!”

“…”

He wasn’t pushed away altogether but only staggered. Lil, however, was determined and pushed him again.

“Oh, really… you’re so…”

When Ed turned his head to face her, Lil noticed that the area around his eyes was moist, probably because he had actually shed tears. Seeing him that way made her feel as if he had become infinitely younger. Of course, they had a four or five-year age difference, but she usually didn’t feel such a gap in their ages at all.

“This is so cute, what should I do with you? Liloa…”

“..!”

Ed attempted to embrace Lil as he said that, but Lil saw through it and pushed him away.

“…Hey?…”

Ed lost his balance and fell beside the rock they had been sitting on, landing on the grass. Despite his situation, he couldn’t help himself and the laughter continued. If being kicked off the rock hadn’t caused any damage to his pride, he calmly sat down on the ground, placed his elbow on the rock, and rested his chin on his hand.

“I’m really curious about the kind of feelings you want to express.”

“…”

“Tell me, hmm?”

“I’d be a fool if I tell you now.”

“I might be able to help you? If it’s about being flirtatious, I’m quite confident.”

As if to prove his words, Ed smiled. He then slowly winked and indeed, the sight of him doing so made Lil swoon immediately. No matter how tightly the bars on her chest were fastened, Ed melted them even without touching.

‘It’s exactly like that…’

Getting giddy, Lil shook her head.

“Well, no matter how much I think about it, I can’t.”

“You can start with words.”

“But I’ve never said such unfamiliar words…”

Ed gently grabbed Lil’s waist. With both of his hands almost completely wrapping her torso, Lil’s body naturally followed him down. The scent of wildflowers and grass became closer. As soon as she felt the moisture on the ground, she landed on Ed’s thighs.

She absentmindedly brushed her palm over a handful of the rough grass, however, when she noticed she got close enough to touch his face, her face was slightly flushed.

“Come on, just try it.”

“…What?”

“It doesn’t need to be expressed in a flowery language. What matters is that you are honest.”

“…”

“What on earth do you want to express and do? You’re making me so curious that I can’t even finish my meal.”

“…But this rock isn’t even high enough to hide the top of our heads…”

Lil, who was sitting on Ed’s legs in the open space, twisted her body in embarrassment while he held her in his arms.

“As long as you stay still, the rock will cover us just well.”

“…”

“See, there are some shrubs, too. That should be enough.”

“…”

Lil looked around at the surrounding bushes before lowering her gaze. Meanwhile, Ed’s fingers patiently and gently brushed her lips.

“I can’t stand it…”

Ed pulled her by the waist. The hand that wrapped her shoulder went to the nape of her neck and into her hair. Lil naturally overlapped her lips with his and slid her tongue inside.

The bright afternoon sea breeze stirred their hair and swirled the hem of their coats.

It felt like the sea was rushing in. It gave her the feeling of sinking under the current, drowning, and being submerged from the feet down. When Ed’s heated body hugged her even tighter, a moan escaped her as she felt suffocated, not knowing whether it was pain or pleasure. Nevertheless, she couldn’t get away from him.

Both were out of breath right after breaking their kiss. Lil then rested her forehead on Ed’s rising and falling shoulder and turned her head away from him. Her view was filled with the swirling sea below the cliff and the sky touching the horizon.

Lil spoke, her voice entangled with the sound of the waves.

“I like you. It’s strange…”

“…”

Lil felt compelled to speak up as she looked at the world. On one hand, the world appeared stunningly beautiful and distant. On the other hand, her words seemed small and insignificant.

“In the end, I really can’t give up* and I keep falling deeper. I wonder if this is what love is.”

Ed’s body stiffened. Lil thought his reaction was related to hearing the word love, but his response was about something entirely different.

“When did you decide to give up?”

“…I’m just saying…”

“I thought you decided not to do that.”

Lil expected to hear some dissatisfaction, but the tone of Ed’s voice came out colder than anticipated.

Ed hugged Lil even harder so that she couldn’t turn to face him. After all, he wasn’t sure if he could afford to show her his face full of messy desires and obsessions. Embracing her tightly, he buried his face in the crook of her neck. Ed then rubbed his cheek against Lil’s warm, throbbing neck, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It felt so peaceful. He eventually bared his teeth and nibbled just above her collarbone. As Ed sucked in, her wet, swollen skin stuck to his tongue.

For a while, Ed indulged himself in licking Lil.

“Well, that’s right… Ugh…”

Lil, who let a moan escape, bit her lip hard. She twisted her shoulder, but Ed wasn’t pushed away. He kept on kissing her gently, moving up and down along her neckline.

“Then tell me again.”

“What… how…”

Lil, who was particularly sensitive near the nape of her neck, flinched due to Ed’s actions. But the more she shrugged her shoulders, the more he crushed his lips against her nape and bit the area below her earlobe to get the words out of her.

“Liloa, again.”

“It’s just that… I love you.”contemporary romance

***

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Reference:

“In the end, I really can’t give up and I keep falling deeper. I wonder if this is what love is.” = The ‘giving up’ probably refers to when Lil escaped from Venua’s rented mansion and was wandering the streets, thinking back about the warning Venua gave her about killing Ed. = chapter 239 – 241.

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