Never Have I Ever: Wanted my Brother’s Rival

“Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.” I smiled at the camera and rested my chin on my folded hands.

SuZaNnA: awesome show!

jayjay: pillow talk time!!

hotroddy: new place?

“Yup, pillow talk time. And yes. There were some issues at my place, so I’m staying with a friend for a bit.”

Usually, this was my favorite part of the show, where I could relax and chat and not have to worry about being sexy or getting tips. But I wasn’t feeling it tonight.

I wanted to go downstairs and hang out with West.

lilacsareblue: you should do a show with them!

pedrofan: are they a guy or a girl?

hisgirlfriday: is your friend hot?

“My friend is a guy, and he’s very hot.” I tried not to smile too wide as I thought about how hot West was. “But he’s not in the business, so no shows with him.”

hisgirlfriday: would you if he was?

“Maybe.”

bendmeover: do a show together and cut off his head!

I chuckled. “Sounds illegal and messy.”

bendmeover: you know what I mean! Don’t show his face, just his dick

“Maybe one day I’ll do some partnered stuff, but not right now. Am I not enough for you?” I pouted at the camera.

Reassurances rolled through the chat, and warmth filled my chest. They might be strangers on a screen, but the validation was nice. Camming was the only time I felt wanted or like I mattered.

Well, camming and when I was with West.

“I have to get going,” I lied. “I’ll be back online tomorrow at eight. Be sure to subscribe here to get the notifications and check my Twitter for updates and show announcements. Have a great rest of your night.” I blew the camera a kiss, then logged off without waiting to read people’s good-byes.

Not thinking too hard about why I was so eager to get downstairs, I snuffed out the fire, put my camming stuff away, and hurried into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When I was clean, I pulled on the nicest pair of sweatpants and long-sleeved tee I’d packed, ones that fit and weren’t three sizes too big.

Was this dressing up? Would West think it was weird or I was trying too hard?

Was I trying too hard? Hell, was I trying at all?

I’d spent my entire show thinking about our kiss. How safe and protected I’d felt in his arms. How hot I had gotten. How I’d lost myself in the moment and hadn’t even realized how close I was until I’d come in my pants like a loser.

But West had been so achingly perfect and hadn’t laughed or made fun of me.

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I did a quick check of the room to make sure everything was in order, then went downstairs.

A flutter of nerves shot through me. West hadn’t logged on to watch my show. He’d left the room hard as steel. Had he jerked off to someone else?

Ugh. Why did I care? He was allowed to watch or think about whomever he wanted. One kiss didn’t mean anything. Especially not to someone like him.

Pausing, I peered into the living room.

Creak.

Damn old house. I was used to being able to sneak around, but it was impossible when the floors were so freaking loud.

West looked up from the chair near the fireplace, a smile on his lips and a book in his hand. “Hey. All done?”

“Yeah. What are you reading?” I came into the room. Hopefully, he couldn’t see how out of sorts I was.

He held up the book and showed me the cover.

“I, Robot? Is that a first edition?” I crossed the room and took a closer look at the artwork.

He nodded and handed it to me. I turned the book over in my hands. The spine was worn, and the pages were yellow with age.

“This would be worth a fortune if it was in better condition.” I gave it back to him.

“How much?”

“At least seven grand. Maybe eight. You could probably get about half that from a hardcore collector.”

“I found this in a box of old books in the attic.”

“Really?” I sat on the edge of the chair.

“Yup. I had to throw most of them away because they were musty and had mold on them, but a few were salvageable. Have you read it?”

“It’s good. And kind of fitting, considering how AI is becoming part of our reality.”

“Do you think it’s possible that robots could really take over? That they could develop the ability to think independently?”

“AI ‘teaches’ itself by continuously absorbing and processing information from large sets of data, but I don’t think we’re at the level where it will be able to surpass its coding and start ‘thinking’ on its own.”

“But you think it’s possible?”

“Maybe. Machines are limited by the technology of the time. Right now, we don’t have the tech to create cognitive thought or the ability for a machine to learn and not just replicate what it processes. That doesn’t mean we never will.”

“I used to have Alexa set up in my old apartment and would always say thank you to it whenever I asked it anything. I kind of hoped it would remember that I was one of the nice humans when the robots staged their uprising.”

I snickered. “You don’t have it here?”

“Didn’t bother setting it up. I figured it would piss the ghosts off.”

“Ghosts?” I laughed.

“What? You don’t believe in ghosts?”

“I will when someone can show me evidence they exist.”

“Where’s your sense of whimsy?”

“Must have gotten lost in the mail.”

He chuckled and put the book on the small table next to the chair.

I should go sit on the couch.

“I’ll move if you want the chair.”

“No. It’s fine. I’ll sit over there.”

“We could share it.” He shifted to one side and patted the empty space next to him. “Plenty of room.”

The flare of heat and hope shooting through my chest was as concerning as it was annoying. Sitting on the same chair wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t mean anything.

I scooted into the space and leaned back. “This chair is amazing. I could live here.”

“I love it. Got it on sale too.”

“You shop sales?”

“Sure do.”

“Huh.”

I settled on the cushion and tried to ignore the little flutters in my stomach as West’s arm pressed against mine.

It was his arm. His arm! I needed to get a grip.

“What did you study in college?” I tried not to sigh as the heat from his body warmed me from the inside.

“Business.”

“Did you like it?”

“I didn’t hate it. And it’s practical. What are you studying?”

“Biochem.”

“What do you want to do with that?”

“Medical research.”

“Is that because…”

“Because I have an autoimmune disease?” I arched my eyebrow.

He grimaced. “Was that a rude assumption to make?”

“It wasn’t rude. And it’s not like you’re the first to ask. It wasn’t the reason I chose the field, but it did factor into things when I was figuring out what I wanted to study.”

“Can I ask how old you were when you were diagnosed?”

“Fourteen.”

He pursed his lips.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Fourteen wasn’t a good year for me,” I said dryly.

“It doesn’t sound like it was,” he said softly. “Is that why you got into fitness?”

I smiled at his careful tone. “That was the reason I started, but after what happened at the game… I was tired of feeling weak, so I kind of dove headfirst into working out. It also gave Gray and me a chance to bond over one of his interests. He helped me figure out a routine and taught me about nutrition and cooking.”

“You’re not weak. You were a kid.”

“Kids get picked on all the time. They get bullied and abused. Age doesn’t protect you from the bad people out there.”

“That’s true. Sad, but true. How come you stayed here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you end up at some Ivy League school?”

“Because it wasn’t possible.”

“Why not?”

“I got offers,” I said softly. “But I was too young to go.”

“Too young? Wouldn’t you being so young make you more appealing to them?”

“Sure. But most colleges won’t let you attend until you’re of legal age or close to it. No college is going to take on the liability of having a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old in their dorms. Rutherford let me start at sixteen because I’m local, and I turned seventeen before the official end of the first semester. The only way I could have gone earlier was if I had a parent or guardian attend with me.”

“So why didn’t your mom go to class with you?”

“Because I’m not the only person in my family. And because she has three other kids to take care of and couldn’t exactly quit her job and spend her days in lecture halls with me for a year.”

“I guess that was a pretty privileged thing to say.”

“A little, yeah.”

Silence stretched between us. I leaned my head against West’s shoulder.

“How was your show?” he asked softly.

“Good. Hit my goal in less than an hour, so I’m calling it a win.”

“Was the room okay?”

“It was great.”

Why were things awkward suddenly? Was it about the show? Had West changed his mind and now he regretted letting me use his room?

“I cleaned up,” I blurted. “And I was careful.”

“I’m not worried about that. It’s easy enough to change the sheets if something did happen.”

“I once knocked over a water bottle during a show. Almost a full liter of water spilled onto my bed.”

“Oh, man.” He laughed. “I bet that was a mood killer.”

“It was. I flailed around like a fish trying to stay out of the puddle and save my laptop.”

“Did you manage?”

“To save my laptop, yeah. But I was soaked. Ended up doing a shower show, since I was already wet.”

“Shower show?” His voice cracked.

“I don’t do them often because the moisture build-up in the bathroom and electronics don’t go well together, but they’re a nice way to get a break. All I have to do is soap myself up and jerk off. No talking or having to people.”

“I bet those are popular.”

“They can be. My shower content sells well too. Guess people like me wet.”

He shifted and pulled one knee up, blocking my view of his crotch. Was he hard? A thrill shot through me.

He cleared his throat. “I can see the appeal.”

Grinning and not knowing where my confidence was coming from, I dug my phone out of my pocket. “I filmed this last week. I haven’t posted it or anything. I’m not sure it’s good.”

He leaned over to see the screen as I went through the gallery in my hidden folder to find the clip.

I handed him my phone with the clip cued up. What was I doing?

I was flirting with West; that was obvious. But why? He hadn’t given me any indication he wanted to kiss me again. And I’d bet money he’d taken care of himself while I was working and hadn’t thought about me since.

Just because I’d spent the entire show reliving every moment of the kiss and had come with the memories of his mouth on mine and his hard body holding me close didn’t mean he’d spared it a second thought.

Horror shot through me as he pressed Play on the clip.

What if he hadn’t enjoyed the kiss? I’d been an eager, needy mess. It had probably been gross for him, since I had no idea what to do. And I’d come in my pants like a loser. He’d been hard, but I’d been rubbing up on him. Anyone would get hard from friction. It was a physiological response. It didn’t mean he’d been turned on.

God. He probably felt sorry for me. He’d let me kiss him because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by rejecting me again.

“It’s good.” He shoved my phone at me and cleared his throat again. “You should post it. You’ll get a lot of likes.”

“Yeah. Thanks. Maybe next week.”

“I need to get to bed. Are you tired? Or do you want to stay up for a bit?”

“I should go to bed too.”

It wasn’t late, but I was still a bit wiped from the craziness of the flood and power failure and could use an early night.

“Did the power come back at the house yet?” I asked.

“Yeah. While you were working. I’m meeting Phil at seven tomorrow to start cleaning up and figuring out what work needs to be done.”

“Sounds like it’ll be a long day.”

“Probably. I’ll take the truck and leave you the car so you’re not stuck here.”

“Thanks, but no need. I can’t drive.”

“You can’t?” He gaped at me like I’d told him I sacrificed puppies and not that I didn’t know how to drive.

“Never learned.”

“I can’t imagine not driving. I’ve spent hundreds of hours driving around on back roads to clear my head.”

“I do that when I run.”

He perked up. “You run? Did you bring your gear?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“What’s your usual distance?

“Three miles.”

“There’s a nice trail a few blocks from here that’s about that long for the loop. It’s so much nicer than running the streets.”

“Thanks. I’ll check it out tomorrow if the weather holds up.”

“It’s supposed to be cloudy but no rain.”

“What else is new, huh?”

He grinned. “Text me what you need for groceries too. I’ll pick them up on my way home tomorrow.”

“I can get my own groceries.”

“How? You don’t drive.”

“I can walk.”

“The closest store is more than five miles away.”

“Fine. But save the receipt so I can pay you back.”

“I’m saving the receipt, but not for you.”

“I’m confused.”

“My father’s company is paying. You’re here because you can’t stay at the house. Trust me when I say I’m billing him every cent I can get away with. Maybe he’ll think twice about ignoring Phil’s recommendations when he sees how much it’s going to cost him to fix this mess.”

“Won’t insurance cover most of it?”

“Yeah, but there’s the deductible and what they don’t cover. And if I inflate his out-of-pocket costs to get his attention, then oh well.”

“You’re devious.”

“I can be. Now, will you text me your list tomorrow?”

“Yes. And I promise I won’t cheap out or try to cut corners.”

“I’m going to buy the most expensive version of whatever you put on the list, FYI, so have fun and fleece my father for all he’s worth. It’s the least of what he deserves.”

He climbed off the chair and held out his hand to help me.

“You can sleep in my room again.”

“No way. I’ll sleep in the spare room.”

“I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn. You get to sleep in, might as well do it in the big bed.”

“I can’t take your room again. There’s no reason to with the power on.”

“It’s not about power or heat. I… I can’t explain it, but I liked knowing you were in my bed last night. I’ll sleep better if you’re there.”

I chewed my lip as I studied him. He seemed both sincere and confused, like he truly didn’t understand why this was important to him.

“Okay. Thanks.”