Never Have I Ever: Had a Bromance with a Teammate

Matt: I fucking hate you

I snickered and leaned back against my headboard.

Jax: no you don’t

Matt: yeah I do this was on the coffee table when I got home

A photo loaded in the text thread, and I burst out laughing. The package was wrapped in a white mailer, but the item didn’t appear to be in a box, so the packaging was tight around a very obvious dick shape with an impressive set of balls.

Jax: sorry not sorry

Matt: you’re an asshole

Jax: did you open it?

Matt: you’re lucky I didn’t drive over there and beat you with it

Jax: I didn’t know they wouldn’t ship it in a box

Matt: you said you didn’t order me a dildo

Jax: I said I didn’t order you a giant alien dildo. That’s a starter dildo

Matt: starter dildo???? It’s massive

Jax: massive? You really are a dick virgin if you think that’s big. Open it. I swear it’s smaller than you think

My screen went dark. I put the phone down, still chuckling.

I honestly hadn’t realized it wouldn’t come in discreet packaging, but that was one way to ensure it wouldn’t be stolen by porch pirates. I laughed again as I imagined his roommates’ reactions to seeing it on display on their coffee table.

Who’d put it there? Alex was the obvious choice; he had a fucked-up sense of humor and would have most likely busted a gut if he’d found it on their front porch. Finn was too sweet. He would have either left it there or discreetly given it to Matt. Beck was another contender. I could see him putting it on display to fuck with him. Eli was tough to get a read on, but he could be the culprit too.

My phone screen lit up, and I unlocked it and read Matt’s text.

Matt: this thing is… confusing

Jax: confusing? It’s a dildo, pretty self-explanatory. Did it at least come wrapped?

Matt: yeah, the casing was sealed

Jax: so what’s confusing about it?

Matt: why does it have a battery compartment?

Jax: …for batteries…

Matt: but why?

Chuckling, I hit the Call option. Matt picked up mid-ring.

“You sweet summer child,” I said before he could greet me with another expletive. “Did you read the packaging?”

“It said it vibrates. But why would I want a vibrating dick?”

“Because it’ll make your spot feel good.”

“Really?”

“I can’t believe I need to explain this to you, but yeah. Put it in, turn it on, and jerk off. It does the work, so you don’t have to.”

He was silent.

“Or toss it. Doesn’t matter to me. You wanted to know how to stimulate your spot. This’ll do it.”

“It’s kind of intimidating.”

I could see where he was coming from. The thing was smaller than a real dick but bigger than a plug and rather lifelike in design.

“Like I said, use it or don’t. It’s just an option. You can get a vibrating plug if you want something smaller to ease into it.”

“Yeah, I’m so not searching for a butt plug.” He snorted. “Can you imagine what my suggested buy section would look like?”

“Yeah, because mine is full of fake dicks now.”

“Serves you right,” he grumbled. “You know I’m getting you back for this, right?”

“Sure you will.”

“I will!”

“Do your worst.”

“You’re going to regret that.”

“What? The dildo or the challenge?”

“Both.”

I snickered. “Sure I will.”

“Ugh. You suck.”

“Yeah, I do.” Silence fell over the line. I’d figured he’d laugh. It wouldn’t be the first time today I’d made a joke about sucking dick. “Matt?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if I went too far,” I said. “I only meant to give you an option if you wanted to explore things. I didn’t know it would arrive like that.”

“I’m not actually mad.” He sighed. “It was pretty fucking hilarious to find a wrapped dick on the table, even if I’m never going to hear the end of it.”

“Do you know who put it there?”

“Eli.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Poor kid was so confused when I stuffed it under my sweater to hide it. He was, like, ‘sex is natural, so is experimenting. Nothing to be ashamed of.’” He snickered. “He’s not wrong, but that doesn’t mean I want my roommates to know I’ve been thinking about getting fucked and seeing a dick with my name on it.”

My brain stuttered. The hell? He wanted to get fucked? I’d thought all this was because he was curious about the wonders of the prostate.

“But whatever. It’s not like we’re shy in this house. You should have heard the shit coming out of Alex’s room last night. Kai has a mouth on him, that’s for damn sure.”

“Really?” I pressed the heel of my hand against my growing erection as the image of Matt on his knees getting railed merged with one of Kai spewing some dirty talk as he fucked Alex.

Voyeurism was one of my kinks, as was listening to people fuck. Both Alex and Kai were gorgeous, like ridiculously so, and picturing them together was hot.

Nowhere near as hot as the mental image of my best friend getting nailed, but that wasn’t something I could allow myself to think about. Matt was straight, and him wondering about having a dick in his ass didn’t change that.

“Oh yeah. Like porn-level dirty talk. Actually, he’s way better. I always laugh when guys in porn do it. It sounds so forced and fake, and they say the most ridiculous things. But Kai’s got a talent for it. And Alex definitely likes it. The two of them went at it for over an hour. I’m kinda shocked Alex wasn’t walking funny when I saw him today, to be honest.”

“Archie’s been seeing a chick who hoots like an owl when they get it on.”

Matt burst out laughing. “The fuck?”

“Like an actual owl. Who who who,” I pitched my voice higher and tried to imitate what I’d been subjected to. “And he shouts ‘yabba dabba doo’ every time he comes. Imagine hearing that through the walls in the middle of the night.”

Matt howled. “No fucking way.”

“I’m traumatized.”

“I swear not all straights are like that. I’ve never channeled Fred Flintstone during sex.”

“Oh, it’s not just the straights. When I was at a club the summer after freshman year, this guy hit on me and deadass said, ‘You must be Fred Flintstone because you could make my bed rock.’”

“Oh my fucking god. What did you do?” he managed between peals of laughter.

“I just kind of stared at him, then made an excuse to bail. Something about needing to find my cat.”

“You don’t have a cat.”

“I panicked.”

He snorted. “The weirdest thing a chick has ever said to me was ‘do you like monkeys’ and when I said ‘sure,’ she answered with ‘great ’cause I want to climb you like a tree.’”

A bubble of laughter escaped my throat. “Tell me you didn’t hook up with her.”

“Not a chance. All I could picture was her scaling some giant dude while making monkey noises. Another chick proudly told me she was an accomplished equestrian and compared riding dick to riding an ornery horse. Another mental image I could have done without.”

“I once had a dude say ‘what are the odds of me getting some head if I flip this’ and wave a coin at me.”

“Were the odds in his favor?”

“Nope. He wasn’t my type, so it wasn’t happening, even without the cheesy line.”

Matt chuckled. “Do you remember that chick Big D hooked up with for a few months last year?”

“I’ll never forget that.” I snorted.

Big D had lived in the room next to Matt’s, and we’d been subjected to one of his hookups screeching like a banshee during sex on multiple occasions.

“Or how he’d say ‘get ready for the D train’ right before the bed would start hitting the wall,” I said.

“Thank fuck he dropped that when the next girl laughed at him. I mean, I felt bad, but what did he expect when he shouted ‘woo woo’ like a fucking train midboning?”

“I’m pretty sure he was wasted that night. At least I hope he was.”

“I’m just glad my roommates aren’t ridiculous like that. If I have to keep hearing people fucking, I’d rather it be hot and not make me bust a gut laughing.”

Matt thought listening to his roommates getting it on with their male partners was hot? I liked listening more than the average guy but hearing a girl moaning or dirty talking was a sure-fire way to make my dick deflate. I had nothing against straight sex. It just didn’t turn me on.

“Too bad I can’t say the same. Between Archie Flintstone next door and Ren playing his porn so loud I can hear the dialogue across the hall, my room is not a sexy place to be.”

“Shit. I gotta go.” He heaved a big sigh. “Frat meeting starts in twenty.”

“You’d better haul ass.”

“Yeah. Later.”

“Bye.”

He disconnected the call, and I tossed my phone onto the bed, still internally snickering at the pic of the wrapped dildo on the coffee table. He’d try to get me back, no question, but when it came to pranks, Matt was nowhere near my level. As one of four kids, pranks were a way of life. Add being a military brat and constantly finding myself having to break into new baseball teams and deal with hazing every time we’d moved, and Matt didn’t stand a chance at outdoing me.

I shifted down on my bed so I was lying against my pillows and stared up at the ceiling. My dick was still half-hard from our conversation, and I breathed deeply, trying to force it down.

The last time I’d had sex was back in June, and it hadn’t been all that great. A guy I’d hooked up with a few times had contacted me and wanted to meet up to fuck. He was hot, but we’d never had much chemistry. The sex had been impersonal and brief, and I’d struggled to keep my head in the moment. We’d both come, but the orgasm hadn’t been satisfying, and I’d left his place feeling empty and antsy.

I’d never been one of those guys who needed to hook up. Some of my teammates acted like they’d die if they didn’t fuck a different girl every weekend. I liked sex as much as the next person, but I didn’t go out of my way to find it. Being a gay man on a D1 team also limited my choices, unlike my straight teammates.

I was out and had been since high school. My teammates knew, and so did the coaches and my friends. Most people in my life were cool with my sexuality on the surface, but sports culture still wasn’t completely accepting.

Chase was the only guy who was openly disgusted I liked dick, but more than a few of my teammates preferred I keep my sex life on the DL. They could talk about chicks in graphic detail, which they did constantly, but out of a team of thirty-five players, only a handful was cool with me talking about guys. And even fewer were okay with seeing it.

The biggest hurdle was that while Rutherford was a decently liberal school and my sexuality was tolerated, that didn’t translate into the rest of the baseball world. Like everyone else on the team, I had dreams of being scouted, and no pro team wanted a player who made headlines for who he fucked.

That meant I had to be careful with who I hooked up with. No strangers, no regular fuck buddies, and no boyfriends. Being on a winning team put me in the spotlight, and I had to be extra careful not to get mixed up with someone who’d use our time together to try and cash in on my status.

All of my hookups over the years had been with other athletes, and most of them were closeted. That didn’t leave a lot of room for connections, just chances to get my rocks off with another person and not my hand.

Matt and I had zero secrets, and we talked about sex all the time. Until recently, that hadn’t been an issue because picturing my best friend and whatever girl he decided to hook up with did nothing for me. Hearing that he was interested in getting fucked and enjoyed listening to guys boning pushed him out of the friend zone, and that was dangerous.

I’d always been attracted to him, but he was straight and my best friend, so I’d never allowed myself to think about him in a sexual way. I’d even made it a rule never to hook up with a blond because I knew my brain would replace them with Matt.

My dick pulsed as an image of Matt on his hands and knees and using the dildo flashed behind my closed eyes. Fuck. I pressed the heel of my hand against my erection.

He’d look so hot pushing it into himself, his dick hard and hanging between his legs. I knew what his cock looked like soft, but I’d never allowed myself to picture it hard. He was thick and long with full, low-hanging balls and a thatch of blond curls. Was he a grower or a shower? Did he let go and allow himself to be vocal when he was enjoying sex, or was he one of those guys who preferred to be quiet?

The moan he’d let out when we’d kissed echoed in my mind as the sensation of his mouth ghosted over my lips. That had been the best kiss of my life, but it hadn’t been anything other than a dare. Another fucked-up competition between us.

The memory of his hard body under my hands, his hot skin as he’d held me close, and the way he’d given in and let me take control swirled in my head.

Fuck.

Gritting my teeth, I slipped my hand under the waistband of my sweats and gripped my cock. Clearing my mind of all thoughts, I stroked hard and fast, my grip punishing as I worked my dick. This wasn’t about feeling good. I needed to come so I could switch my thoughts to homework or baseball or anything other than Matt and how much I wanted to kiss him again.

My orgasm hit hard and fast, tearing out of me. Cum shot onto the inside of my pants. My balls ached, and my shaft felt raw. Good. I deserved that little bit of pain for breaking my rule and perving on my best friend.