My Name is Not Cupcake

"N-Nova, what are you doing here?" Elias stammered, pushing the girl off his lap gently much to her dismay. She wasn't even ugly. She had long, shiny brown hair and sun-kissed skin. Her eyes were a very green hazel. She was tall and skinny and beautiful with legs to die for...

And then there was me.

I felt hurt and betrayed.

"I'm learning what mates are like. Isn't it just fascinating," I said sarcastically before turning on my heels.

"Nova, wait!" he said. Against myself, I stopped. I felt the tears welling up, but I held them back. "Kendra please," Elias muttered to the girl. It was like he was twisting the knife. He chose her, not me.

"No, allow me. I wouldn't want to interrupt anything. My apologies Alpha, I'll remember to knock next time," I said bitterly. I ran out of the office and outside. I don't know where I was going but I needed to get away. I'd had enough of this. I was sore and tired. It literally felt like I'd just been dragged through hell, only to come back to this. I pushed myself to run faster as I let my tears go. I cried as I pushed myself further away from the house.

"Nova," Elias said as he grabbed my arm. I looked at him as my tears fell.

"What more do you want from me?! Just leave me alone," I cried. It was quiet for a moment. I used the opportunity to pull my arm out of his grip.

"I can't leave you alone; you're my mate," he said as if it were just that simple. I huffed a breath with a sarcastic smile before I rolled my eyes.

"Is that what we are? I couldn't tell from all the lying, threats, and cheating. So why don't you just let me go then since I'm clearly not wanted here, nor do I even want to be here,” I said quietly. I had hoped that maybe I was jumping to conclusion. I sighed and calmed down briefly.

"What did you do when I was gone?" I asked softly. Elias didn't answer right away which was as good as him telling me. I held up a hand, immediately stopping him. "And spare me the lies," I added.

"You went into heat, which essentially puts me into something similar. In order to keep from hunting you down and finishing the mating process, I... I had Kendra keep me... preoccupied," he tried to explain delicately, but I got the picture. He had sex with her pretty much the entire two weeks I was gone. That hurt worse than seeing her in his lap. I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears started falling on their own accord. Elias grabbed my hand again. I quickly yanked my hand away.

"Just stop! Get the fuck away from me! Or better yet, just reject me. That'll probably be less painful than what you've already done. I don't want to see you. While I was practically burning alive, you were having sex with Kendra! Now, I may not know much about werewolves or mates, but even I know that you betrayed me," I said bitterly.

"I'm not rejecting you," he said sternly. I grunted and threw my hands in the air in frustration.

"Then why the hell am I here?! You say you need me but you obviously don't. You have Kendra. You always have, right? You took me from my family, you hurt my boyfriend, you threaten the life of the people I love and put me through hell and for what? To claim you do everything for me? If that were true, you wouldn't have slept with her! You bit me; you put me through this hell and did whatever the hell you wanted in the meantime. I want to just go home and pretend none of this ever happened. I hate you, Elias Madsen... I really do," I sobbed. I regretted my words as soon as I said them, but at the same time, I meant it somewhat. I hated Elias for what he did to me... but I didn't hate him, even as much as I wanted to. I was hurt. Elias froze and just stared at me. A look of pain crossed his face. I knew I hurt him too, and a part of me wanted him to know how I felt... but the larger part ached with the thought of hurting him. It only made me mad at myself. I grunted and puffed out a breath.

"I hate feeling this way. I want to hate you. I want to claw your face out and leave and never come back, but I can't. You and this stupid mate bond," I ranted. "I, Nova Moore, re-... reje-... God, I can't even say it anymore. Do me a favor and put me out of my misery. Let me go home," I asked. I hated that I couldn't even bare the thought of leaving him. I didn't want to feel like this anymore.

"Nova, you're being ridiculous and emotional," Elias said, dismissing me.

"Am I, Elias? You chose Kendra before you met me and you still do apparently," I said. He shook his head.

"No, I choose you," he argued. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down in sobs again. I turned away from him and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home," I said over my shoulder.

"You don't know where you're going," he reminded me. I only shrugged and kept walking. I walked towards the trees and quickly found myself lost, but I didn't care. I just kept walking. Eventually, my crying eased and I stopped. I just stopped. What exactly was my plan? Get lost and hope that I somehow find my way home? It was getting dark. I sat against a tree and sighed.

"I'm sorry," I heard from in front of me. I looked up in surprise to see Elias.

"Have you been following me this whole time?" I asked. He only shrugged.

"You didn't think I was going to let you wander off by yourself to get lost in the woods, did you?" he said, sitting across from me. I sighed and leaned my head against the tree. I just couldn't catch a break.

"Elias..." I said. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. At this point, I was just tired.

"I know I shouldn't have... done what I did with Kendra. It was stupid of me and you're right. That's not how mates are supposed to act. I know that nothing I do or say will change what I've done. You are everything to me, and I do chose you, Nova," he said. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore, Elias. I'm tired of fighting," I said tiredly. I felt his hand over mine and squeezed it back. For once, I didn't fight. I relished in the feeling of his hand on mine. I enjoyed the tingles and butterflies and the sensation of feeling safe and protected. But only that.

"I don't want to fight either. I know I haven't gone about this the right way, and for that I am sorry. I'll be the perfect mate, I promise," he said. I chuckled and shook my head.

"No you won't," I stopped him. "Regardless of if you're a werewolf or not, you're still a man. And men make mistakes," I said. Elias picked me up easily and placed me in his lap. I tried to move but he held me in place. His hand rubbed over my back, comforting me. I felt like the world couldn't touch us at this moment.

"I don't want to hurt you, Nova. You're not a prisoner here," he said softly.

"Then don't hurt me. Let me go,” I whispered, sitting up just enough to look at him. His hand caressed my cheek, making me sigh. My eyes fluttered at just the touch as I leaned into his hand. I hated that I couldn’t even control my reaction. Elias smiled softly and rubbed his thumb over my cheek.

"I love you, Nova," he said genuinely. I opened my eyes to see his eyes boring into me intensely. My breath caught as he stared at me. Suddenly, his warm, soft lips pressed against mine. I melted into him as his arms surrounded me. It was only him. All I could think about was him. I pushed against him, trying to break free before I couldn’t control myself anymore, but Elias pushed against me harder, knocking my back to the ground. His body hovered over mine. His hands roamed my body eagerly. I felt dirty. The same lips had been on someone else not too long ago. I tried to remind myself of that as I struggled to free myself. He groaned before he let go all together.

"Alright, fine. We'll take it slow," he said. "I've already scared you so much. I don't want you to resent me anymore than you already do," he said. I sat up and pushed my hair out of my face with a sigh.

"I can't bring myself to resent you anymore. As much as you've done, and as much as I want to hate you, I can’t. I want to but I can't," I tried to explain.

"Can we go back home now?" he asked. I simply nodded.

"I’m not sleeping outside," I agreed. He stood and offered me a hand. I wanted to take it, but I crossed my arms instead. We strolled back through the forest at a leisurely pace. It was comfortable and quiet. We'd come to an understanding of sorts. Minnie and Taylor were waiting outside for us. Minnie hugged me as soon as we stepped up to the house.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded and hugged her back.

"Just tired," I said. Elias brought me back to him gently and kissed my head. I wanted to melt into him again. If I were honest with myself, I loved the feeling of Elias' touch. And I hated that I wanted it. It was like a part of me I couldn’t control. Elias brought me back inside. He took me up to my room and sat me down on the bed. There were no words exchanged. Elias simply took off my shoes and placed them aside. He was on his knee in front of me. He took my hand in his and kissed it.

"Goodnight, my love," he said gently. I felt a longing feeling fill me at the thought of him leaving. I was almost tempted to ask him to stay, but I resisted. I was done fighting with him, but that doesn't mean I was going to let him in fully right of the bat. What he did was still wrong, and he would pay for it as much as I could tolerate. I pulled my hand out of his and buried myself under the blankets.

"Goodnight," I said softly. He gave me one last longing look before he left, closing the door behind him. The pull to follow him and never leave his side was strong, so I threw myself into getting ready for bed. I finally fell asleep dreaming of Elias, much to my dismay.

~