My Most Precious Human

I wished I had never heard Sariel's words. I wished I had never come there and heard the sounds of him and Elora making out. It was nauseating. It was painful. It squeezed a long stream of tears from my eyes. I was hurt and angry, but the worst part of it was that I couldn't even barge in there to make a scene, because legally... Sariel belonged to Elora, not me.

I kept my mouth covered, fearing that my cry would betray my presence. My heart hammered erratically, as if it was trembling, just as my whole body was, yet some masochistic whisper told me to keep standing there, by Sariel's chamber. Perhaps some part of me was waiting for Sariel to say something else...but truthfully, I didn't know what I was expecting him to say, and of course, he said nothing else. Instead of words, I could only hear Elora's soft giggles and moans.

I felt my heart crack.

My feet turned back by themselves, and, in some self-defense mechanism, I returned to my chamber. Just like that. I had never thought that I would be the "suffer in silence" type, but I swallowed my pride, ripped my anger to pieces, and closed the passage door as if nothing had ever happened. I sat on my bed and stayed like that for an hour, maybe two. I was an empty shell.

It took a long time for my mind to reboot and my emotions to stabilize. Once it happened, the painful processing began. My sadistic mind recalled every word and sound I heard. I swayed towards the bathroom to wash my face in cold water. Then I started to stare at my reflection in the mirror. It was time to acknowledge the cruel truth.

"You are an idiot, Lilith," I mumbled, looking into my own eyes. "Sariel is the King and Elora is his Queen. If he wants to keep her in check, he can't push her away... He needs to lie to her... He needs to make her believe that she is valuable to him... He needs to make her believe that he lo-"

I choked at my own words. I was no longer certain if my words concerned Elora. For some extremely painful reason, they sounded like they could just as well concern me. It might have been caused by my aching heart, but Sariel's voice while talking to Elora seemed as sincere as when he had been with me. I knew that I was supposed to trust him. I wanted to trust him. I wished I could rip to shreds all the tiny pieces of doubt gathering inside me. I guessed I was weaker than I thought.

I lied down in my bed and tried to fall asleep. I tossed and turned until I suddenly found myself in the Palace garden. It was early evening. The garlands of magnificent lanterns ennobled the fields of green grass with their warm golden glow. Then I saw three long, set tables, prepared for the guests to dine. I turned around and saw the members of the Moon Hill Pack gathering at those tables. Then the vampires came. I saw at least a few of them at the negotiation meeting. All of them wore official, elegant clothing. The men wore tuxedos and glamorous suits, while the few invited ladies wore fashionable evening gowns. I looked down at my clothing and suddenly found myself in a marvelous bottle-green silk dress. Draven gently grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"You look like every man's dream tonight, Lilith," he smiled charmingly and led me to my seat at the table.

Suddenly, the set changed, and I was talking with a group of vampires, with Mr. Parson among them. They all congratulated me on my contribution to the negotiations, although I had hardly done anything. Everyone seemed pleased with the outcome, as if the peace treaty had already been signed. It felt weird, but I covered my confusion under a courteous smile. My moment of moderate tranquility had been killed by a piercing chuckle from Elora. I turned my head towards the sound and saw Sariel and Elora standing by the lantern-decorated grand hedge wall. Mr. Parson looked at me with a beaming smile. "Perhaps the concubine should officially greet the King," he winked at me.

I responded with an awkward grimace that wasn't even close to resembling a smile. But I mustered my courage, took a deep breath, and walked towards the royal couple. "Greetings to the King and Queen," I squeezed out, making a superhuman effort to get my words to sound polite and natural.

I bowed down graciously, but as I raised my head, I saw Sariel's turning his eyes away from me, with most of his body open towards Elora. He ignored me, his body declaring as if he despised my presence, while Elora couldn't be more pleased with his attitude. As a victorious little smirk appeared on her face, she directed her full attention at her King, making sure that I would watch her every move.

She reached out her hand towards his cheek, gently stroking it while looking into his eyes. Then she stood up on her toes, bringing her lips closer to his. She put her arms around his neck, making a wave of excited "whoas" and chuckles spread across the garden. Sariel put a smirk on his face, watching Elora's attempt to kiss him, yet he didn't seem reluctant. As she placed her lips on his, he followed, embracing her and caressing her lips while I stood in front of them, seeing it all happen.

I froze. My heart rushed while every single beat seemed like torture. I started to shiver, as if my body had become sickly feverish. All the sounds of the crowd, cheering and rooting for the King and Queen couple made me break inside. That was all too much. How could I stand there, pretending to hold my dignity, keeping a smile on my face while my heart was being mercilessly stabbed over and over again? "No!" I burst out, opening my eyes wide and sitting up on the bed.

I panted heavily while my tears fell down my cheeks. This dream felt so vivid it made my emotions crumple. It took me a couple of deep breaths before I could inhale regularly.

"Bad dream?" Sariel's voice came from the corner of my room.

I flinched and slowly turned my head towards the source of the sound. Sariel was sitting in the chair by the table. The chair was turned towards my bed, as if he was sitting there observing me while I slept. He was barefoot, wearing black suit pants and a white, wrongly-buttoned shirt with half-rolled-up sleeves.

"A nightmare... I guess," I muttered, hesitantly looking into his eyes.

"You were outside my door yesterday, weren't you?" He got to the point right away.

I smiled bitterly. I knew that it was the only reason why he showed up in my room. Nonetheless, I hoped that he at least wanted to comfort me, and not only check if I wasn't about to make a scene of jealousy. "I came to tell you what I found in Elora's notes," I said, looking away from him.

He walked towards my bed and sighed, "Show me."

No apology, no checking if I was ok, or reassuring that he didn't mean the words he said to her. That was a bitter pill to swallow. Perhaps it was immature of me to expect him to strengthen my sense of security but that was what I needed from him at that moment. Yet, I felt that he was mad at me, letting me know that it was my fault for hearing what I'd heard the previous night.

I slowly got up from the bed and walked to the closet. Then I took out Elora's Diary as well as the messages and their decoded meanings, which I wrote on small pieces of paper attached to the decrypted ones I spread them on the table for Sariel to read.

"I have three for now..." I mumbled, like a student explaining why he hadn't finished his homework. "There's a signature from Beta Jax... I'm certain that it was my father's previous Beta who sent it, so that would mean that Elora collaborated with wolves and my father's pack to-"

"There's no proof of that," Sariel stated harshly.

"What do you mean, there's no proof?!" My agitation rose by the second. "And what about that one with your name on it?!"

"It only proves that someone planned to poison me, but it doesn't implicate Elora in any way." He clicked his tongue as if looking at those messages was a waste of his precious time.

"How can you say that?!" I stared at him in disbelief and rising annoyance. "Do you know any other Princess around here?! Or do you have another reason for these messages to stay inside a box hidden in he diary?!"

"You don't even know if it is HER diary!" Sariel roared.

I cringed and stepped back away from him. "Are... you trying to... protect her?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Lilith," he glared at me. "I am trying to be reasonable."

An ironic laugh escaped my throat. "Reasonable..." I muttered and forced myself to look into his eyes. "Is making out with her reasonable to you?"

"Stop being childish, Lilith. We are two steps away from war, and I am doing what's necessary to prevent it," he hissed.

"Did you... sleep with her?" I asked faintly.

As if it was my last resort before falling to pieces, I prayed that he would deny it. I stared into his eyes, pleadingly, and counted the seconds. Two, three, four...

"No, Lilith... I didn't sleep with her."

Lie. I was certain it was a lie, but I accepted his answer with a vague smile. Did he think that I wouldn't handle the truth in my messed-up state? Or did he decide that I wasn't worth his honesty? I swallowed and took a deep breath, shoving my restlessness into the furthest corner of my mind.

"I'm... going to keep decoding those messages," I stated, lowering my gaze.

"Do whatever you want," he tossed as he began walking towards the passage.

I followed him, focusing on keeping my balance. He opened the hidden door and stopped right before entering the passage.

"The peace treaty is sealed. Alpha Draven agreed to withdraw his ridiculous demand concerning taking you as a member of his pack, and I agreed to grant them an additional thousand Royal Army warriors," he said indifferently.

"That's... great," I muttered reluctantly.

He stayed in the doorway without saying a word. He locked his eyes on me while a peculiar hesitation appeared in his expression. He sealed his lips as if he was torn about something.

"Anything else?" I asked, ending the difficult silence between us.

"Yes..." He cleared his throat, "There will be a party to celebrate the treaty in the evening. It will be held in the garden. I accept you to be there," he said and left the room.

I closed the passage after him, strangely feeling that the crack inside my heart was about to become deeper.