Chapter Processing
The rest of the ceremony went smoothly... I think. My mind was elsewhere most of the time. I captured the sight of those standing at the foot of the hill and couldn't think of anything other than my father's unimaginable cruelty. He had sold a part of his own pack. He got rid of those who had come to the Southern Woods Pack with my mother. I bet that he had done it once when he killed her. What could be more disrespectful than selling members of her old pack as slaves? I couldn't bear the thought that I had that monster's blood running through my veins, but I figured that I should at least make good use of the genes he gave me: use them against him and against every wrong he had ever done.
Draven held my hand through the whole formal part, as if he was marking me as his, and I let him, not completely consciously, but I did. I stood still with my eyes numbly registering everyone and no one at the same time. My bewilderment successfully took away my attention from any kind of sound until the ceremony was over, which I wouldn't have known if it weren't for Draven pulling my hand.
"Let's go, Lilith." He put a proud smile on his face. "Our new pack members invite us to the party tonight. I'm sure they would like to get to know you."
"Yeah..." I muttered, slowly recovering from the state of daze. "I will gladly get to know them too."
He chuckled, leading me down the hill. I followed him obediently while keeping a mask of composure glued to my face, but inside I was falling apart. I couldn't even express how badly I needed to be alone for a while, and looking at my current outfit, a shower, and a change of untorn clothes would have helped greatly as well.
Once we got down, the currently former Scarlet Valley Pack members started to bow down to Draven and me. They wanted to shake our hands as if they accepted our blessing. I was embarrassed when they started to treat me like their queen, but looking at their hopeful faces shook my heart and made me give them a warm smile despite having teary eyes.
As we passed through the crowd, Draven led us to the van. The rest of our group was already waiting inside, including a grinning lan and a miserably gloomy Jetta. Since her childish attitude was at the end of my list of problems, I ignored her and sat in my previous seat.
"Where are we going?" I thought that I might be the only one unaware.
"We are staying at the town's best hotel," Ian explained. "Alpha and you could have stayed at the mansion, but we would have to clean all the bodies first," he chuckled wickedly.
"So... do we have any other assignments for today?" I asked shyly.
"No." Draven turned his head towards me. "You will all be given rooms to freshen up, and your only responsibility will be to participate in the party, which starts at 8 PM."
Draven's statement caused an excited uproar within the car, and I couldn't be more relieved knowing that I would be able to rest. I was unable to tell how many hours I had been running on fumes. I pushed myself beyond the limits of exhaustion far too many times in a row.
I felt like crying when I opened the door of my hotel room. I don't think I had ever been this excited about seeing a bed and a pillow. The only thing that stopped me from throwing myself onto the sheets was the way I stank. A combination of blood and sweat was something I needed to get off of me ASAP.
I threw my backpack on the floor and got myself naked, hurriedly losing what was left of my clothes. I closed the shower cabin door and turned on the semi-hot water. The painted confidence fell off my face as the water began to wash away the signs of my fights, giving way to tears. I wasn't able to name one reason why I was crying. I was overloaded with emotions and had to get rid of some of them instantly. I was slowly acknowledging the purpose of my participation in this war. I felt like I had to prove that I was worthy of my mother's and Ezra's sacrifices, and my contribution to freeing the members of my mother's pack was a good start. At the same time, I wondered if Draven knew about the Moon Lake Pack members working as slaves for the Scarlet Valley Pack before we got here. If so, I would have been pissed at him for not telling me sooner and using me to get all of them on his side.
After an hour-long shower, I became more emotionally balanced. I processed my feelings, sending prayers to the higher powers to take care of the souls of my mother and Ezra, with the promise that I would take time to mourn them properly after the war was over. At that time, I needed to focus on the upcoming battle against the Southern Woods Pack. The mere thought of standing in front of my father again filled me with rage. I wanted him to suffer, at least as much as all those people he had harmed.
Once I blow-dried my hair, I put on a loose T-shirt and hopped on the bed to relax. Only then did I realize how tense every muscle in my body was. I lay on the bed motionless for fifteen minutes before my limbs were able to work again. It helped. It was yet another time when I was grateful for my regeneration abilities.
Mobilizing my lazy joints, I reached for the phone, which welcomed me, flashing with information about ten missed calls. I snorted, thinking that Martha must have been worried sick again, but once I unlocked the screen, I saw that the notifications came from... Sariel.
An electric wave rushed through me, reminding me that his name was still deeply engraved in my heart. I debated with myself whether to call him back. My hesitation increased as I thought of that unnamed something that was between Draven and me, surfaced in my mind. Should I feel guilty for letting Draven kiss me and hold me in his arms the way he did? Of course, the other part of my heart scoffed at my sudden strike of guilt, reminding me of how Sariel treated me and that I shouldn't feel morally burdened over opening myself to the relationship with my allegedly destined mate. On the other hand, I couldn't just switch the "love for Sariel" button inside my heart, especially considering that time began healing the pain he caused me, making way for a more cold and rational explanation, which I began to understand. I took a deep breath and, telling myself that it was only natural to call someone back, I picked Sariel's number. I swallowed, listening to the long waiting signals before I heard his velvety, deep voice. "Lilith?" Coming out of his lips, my name sounded sweet and sensual.
"Hello..." I breathed hesitantly.
"You called me back." I heard relief in his voice.
I blurted out, quite hysterically, "I wondered why you called me so many times."
"I needed to know that you are safe. I had to hear your voice," he explained, his tone smooth and alluring.
"I'm all right," I stated, fisting my hand.
"You don't sound all right at all." His words pierced right through me.
I gasped and froze. How could he notice something I tried to cover so well? Everyone, including Draven, believed me when I said I was fine, even when I spoke through agonizing exhaustion. "What happened, Lilith? Tell me," he commanded softly.
I pushed air into my lungs as if I wanted to boost myself with courage. "I learned that my mother challenged my father to fight for leadership and my father killed her. I learned that my teacher and a friend had been tortured for I don't know how long and died, most likely a painful death... and I killed someone..." I swallowed salty tears I didn't know I shed. "I took someone's life."
"You knew the one you killed," he said as if he knew.
"Yes," I confirmed, taking another sharp breath, "I killed Derek... He was the one who tortured Ezra," I explained nervously.
Sariel stayed silent for a while, then he whispered to the phone, "I wish I could be there with you. If I were, I would have held you tight and let you cry all the anger and pain you carry in that precious heart of yours."
The stream of my tears painted wide lines down my cheeks. It felt strange. I always tried to hide my pain in front of Sariel. I could be angry and frustrated, but I didn't want to show him the weak, emotional side of me. I had never imagined myself telling him anything that had bothered me or hurt me, and the fact that I told him everything so easily surprised me. Nonetheless, the fact that he was willing to embrace this fragile side of me was so much more unexpected.
"I wish to hold you until you know that you have done the right thing, and then I would let you know how much I regret pushing you away from me," he continued, "It is killing me that I cannot touch you this very moment. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to prove to you that your heart was right to choose me, just as my heart knows that you are the one I have waited for my whole life."
I took shallow, insufficient breaths that forced my heart to race. Sariel's words, the way his voice sounded, I knew it was sincere. I knew that he meant it. I covered my mouth so he wouldn't hear my heart calling for him in a desperate moan.
"The degenerates are gathering close to Greystoneville. It is our destiny that pushes us to be together. We will see each other in less than a week. Wait for me." Raw emotions surfaced in the tone of his voice, making my reality painful.
I stood up from the bed and walked to the window while gathering my courage to speak.
"Sariel..." I muttered with my chest squeezed. "I have to tell you something... Draven and I-"
"Do you love him?" he asked restlessly.
"I..." I rubbed my chest as if I was looking for an answer, "No," I replied.
"Then just wait for me, Lilith," he said, clearly smiling.
"Sariel..." I breathed, hoping to find the right words to say.
"Trust me, Lilith. Once we meet again, it'll all become clear," he claimed, confidently.
"Fine..." I agreed shyly, my lips curving into a warm smile.
"See you soon, Lilith," he purred, making my whole body shiver.
"See you soon, Sariel," I responded with a soft giggle as I finished the call.
My face was blushing, and a stupid, teenager-in-love kind of smile couldn't leave my face. I turned around to put down my phone and froze. Draven was standing on the threshold of my room. His pupils were blazing red, his jaw was tense, and everything in his expression screamed that he had heard at least the last part of my conversation with Sariel.
Glaring at me, he stepped inside my room and closed the door behind him.
"Is this fucker trying to make his way back to you?!" he roared, sending a terrifying vibration through every surface in the room.
I gulped.