My Dad's Bestfriend

Evelyn

Jacob and I sat across from Dad and Clara. Dad looked ready to grill us both, clearly expecting some lengthy, soul-baring explanation, while Clara seemed keen to move past the awkwardness as fast as possible. Honestly, I was right there with her. I had zero interest in dissecting our reasons-or lack thereof for behaving like complete idiots, knowing full well it was wrong yet pressing on anyway.

Truth was, if "no answer" were a valid response, it would top my list.

Jacob and I exchanged a look as Dad wrapped up what felt like his hundredth question. We both knew we had nothing concrete to offer. Sure, we might've had a few scattered reasons, but none Dad would actually find acceptable. "Listen, you two," Dad barked, "stop staring at each other and answer my questions right away. Chronologically, starting from question one."

"Sorry, what was the question again?" Jacob's casual tone almost made me laugh, but I caught myself, noting the way Dad's expression twisted between irritation and disbelief. I clamped my mouth shut, reminding myself that laughter might get us kicked out of his house entirely.

Dad's frustration spilled over. "You stupid fuck," he snapped, his voice taut with irritation. "I've repeated myself three times, and you still don't get it? Are you five?"

Jacob grimaced. "Samuel, don't shout. What are you, a dog?"

I stifled a laugh, biting down on my lip. Oh, this was just getting good.

Dad's jaw clenched. "You piece of—"

"That's old. Try something new."

For a moment, Dad fell silent, the room simmering with tension. Then he flashed Jacob a wry smile, leaning in as he spoke. "Fine. My insults should match your age, shouldn't they? After all, you're hardly the young one here, are you? More like a fucking ancient relic."

Jacob's jaw clenched, his gaze narrowing at Dad, who only looked more amused by the second. Then, just barely, I saw the corner of Jacob's mouth twitch into a sly smirk. "If I'm an 'ancient creature,' then you, Samuel... you're practically prehistoric. Dinosaur territory, maybe? I'd say math's aged you a bit harshly, wouldn't you?"

Dad's expression darkened immediately. Math was a touchy subject for him-and, honestly, for me, too.

I tried to jump in, feeling laughter bubble up. "O-Okay, guys-maybe let's take a breath here?"

"Hey, your dad started it, baby," Jacob said with a shrug, his eyes flashing with mischief. "I didn't come here to argue; he's the one playing grumpy old man, grilling us for answers. We should be out, hanging around and enjoying ourselves."

Dad shot up from his chair, looking indignant. "Don't baby my daughter in front of me, you asshole! And 'hanging around'? You better keep five feet away from her at all times."

Five feet?

What in the five feet apart shit was he pulling up now...

Trying not to burst out laughing, I bit down hard on my lip, watching the two of them size each other up like it was some high-stakes match.

"She's my girlfriend-I'll call her whatever I damn well please. Baby, honey, sweetheart... anything! Got that?" Jacob snapped, standing up.

I let out a silent groan. Seriously, what were these two doing?

"Jacob, Samuel, can you both calm the hell down?" Clara interjected, clearly as over it as I was.

Dad jabbed a finger toward Jacob, scowling. "She should never have been your girlfriend, you moron!"

"Oh, please, Samuel," Jacob scoffed, grinning. "We've moved past that. Got anything fresh to complain about? Digging up old arguments just makes you sound... well, about as ancient as your math skills." Jacob had officially hit Dad's last nerve, and he knew it. From his grin, it was obvious he was having way too much fun.

"You son of a " Dad lunged forward, grabbing Jacob's collar. My eyes went wide.

"Dad, stop!" I jumped between them, arms outstretched as Clara just face-palmed in the corner.

Jacob merely yawned, barely flinching. "Easy, Samuel. You'll throw out your back at your age."

"Like you did the first time you ever tried having sex? Useless bastard!"

I couldn't stop the snort of laughter that escaped me, even as I tried to pry Dad off Jacob.

Jacob's eyes shifted from Dad to me, his brows shooting up in shock. "Did he... did he really just say that?"

Unfortunately, it seemed Dad had finally hit Jacob's breaking point too.

"How dare you say that in front of Evie!" And now Jacob had a fistful of Dad's collar.

"Clara, help!" I called, half-laughing, half-panicked.

"Coming, Evie!" Clara seized Dad's arm, trying to pull him back, but he wouldn't budge.

"Oh, I've got more! You want to hear it?" Dad grunted, his voice full of mocking fury. "Just wait-"

"For the love of God, shut up!" Jacob snapped.

Despite the fact that neither seemed to have any intentions beyond collar-grabbing and death-glaring, I could tell that if I didn't intervene,

things would escalate. Watchinnet

these two giants locked in some ridiculous, chest-puffing standoff

was unnerving, espec Standoff

wn

considering that one was my dad and the other was my boyfriend.

"Let her hear it, or I swear, I'll knock your ass out," Dad hissed. "Your choice."

"Oh, bring it, old man-"

"You absolute piece of trash! I will kill you!" Dad raised his fist, and I lunged forward, grabbing his hand.

"Dad, please! We're not even married yet!"

"Marriage? In your dreams, Evelyn!" Dad shouted, seething. "There's no way in hell I'm letting you marry this idiot!" "Who the hell do you think you are to decide that?" Jacob barked back.

"Her father!"

"So what?!"

"Jacob, enough!" I cried, my patience officially gone. I reached over, grabbing his ear, and yanked hard. "We're leaving!" "Ow-ow! Evelyn, that hurts!"

"You too, Samuel!" Clara snapped, grabbing Dad by the hair on the back of his head and yanking him away. "Enough is enough!"

"Clara, let go, what the hell!" Dad

protested as she hauled him

upstairs, his voice fading as hoolnet

continued shouting, "Let me go! I'll kill that bastard!"

ét

I finally shoved Jacob into the car, closing the door firmly as I heard Dad's muffled threats from upstairs. Jacob winced, rubbing his ear, and glanced up at me.

"Remind me to avoid any family gatherings for a while."

I let out a sigh, laughing despite myself. "Jacob, at this rate, I think that goes for both of you."