Mortal Magic: Broken

Two days passed since I woke up in Brickbourne. If I said that I felt comfortable here, living in the house of the young healer of the village without just like that would be a lie. I felt like I was intruding in her house, in her life, and I was sure that people were starting to wonder who I was and what I was doing staying with her. And as if that wasn’t enough I had Yuto bringing gossip about her and me being a couple from some of the old hugs in the near houses and some jealous as he called them girls.

If I didn’t have the pressure to find Lars before the blood eclipse then I would have time to find this amusing but now it was just a disturbance. Besides I knew he was overreacting and making the situation more dramatic than it was. The guy was literally a living, walking and talking reason to get me embarrassed.

Despite being his usual teasing self though he was actually trying to get information on Lars and that was more than enough reason to put up with him. He was almost always out to inquire the villagers about his whereabouts while being discrete and the only times he came back was when it was time to eat. And I was grateful for it but it was not easy for me basically being fed by the healer who insisted I just call her Maia. She said it was no problem and that I we were not a burden; in fact she was living alone for years since her parents passed away.

I asked her how they died and she was more than happy to share the story as she had no one to talk about even if everyone in the village knew her and they were not bad towards her. They were just avoiding her when they could afford it. She told me her father was part of the magi guard in Redgard and he rarely came home after they moved here when she was born. Her mother was a tailor and a gifted one at that, making clothes that were considered fit for rich people most of the time and many other things like saddles and fixing damaged clothes. Her mother liked to go to Redgard to sell some of her products and buying materials for new ones, but it was mostly an excuse to see spend time with her husband when he was off duty.

One day she left like usual but she never came back, and when she went to Redgard to ask her dad they told her that he died while on duty. She searched for her mother but she was gone and she assumed she was dead too, possibly in the same incident as her father. She was 10 when that happened and she had no one else to turn to. It took her months to recover from the feeling of emptiness and the loneliness but she decided it was time to grow up and be her own person, care for herself and someday have the life she wanted. I asked her what was the life she dreamed and she said that she wanted to see the world. The five continents were vast and her dream was to someday be able to go see each continent, explore and have fun.

That was when she asked me what I wanted to do in my life. The moment she said that I lowered my head and tried to avoid the question, but she was insistent. I had only one goal in my life for now, or rather two. And they both had to do with one person, Lars. But I could not tell her I wanted to kill someone. Nor could I tell her what I have been doing before. So I did what I felt was better for her and lied. “I want to go home, to my family, and live the rest of my days there”. This was partly true, I wanted to go home but right now I had no family there, and it had to wait for now.

My expression told her that this was a sensitive matter and she didn’t pry and more. Maybe she thought that it wasn’t her place to demand a person to tell her something he would normally tell to no one. We were still waiting for Yuto in the table to start with lunch and he was late. After I woke up again the same night for the second mana potion I was shown around the house. It was a simple small house with a living room connected to the kitchen, two rooms and the toilet. There was an old couch in the living room near the fireplace that served as Yuto’s bed now and the kitchen had all the necessary equipment for cooking and some ingredients that didn’t spoil fast. Meat and what had to be eaten the same day was bought on the spot. The other room was Maia’s and I didn’t want to go there even when she offered and said it was okay.

As we were sitting on the table memories came flashing back to me, memories of a past that hurt more than I was willing to admit to myself. In contrast to my sister I still remember our parents. I remember what they looked like, how happy they were and how much they loved us as they said. I remember the places they took us when they had time from their jobs and all the fun we had. I was old enough to remember many such things about them. And that was what made it hurt that much back then. The fact that I remember all this made their abandoning us in the middle of nowhere feel like the worst betrayal in the world.

She asked me many times about our parents hoping that I remember them being at the age of seven at the time this happened. I wanted to tell her every single time, and every time she asked the desire to tell her was stronger. But how could I do this to her? How could I look into her eyes and tell yet that our parents were perfect and they left us just like that? Like we were pieces of clothing they looked longer wanted or were too damaged to wear. How could I give her the same hurt I felt every time I thought about them? So with that in mind, every time she asked me about them, I lied to her, saying that I didn’t remember them that I wanted but somehow couldn’t remember. Every time I told her that, guilt had my heart in a death grip. In trying to protect her from the truth I was lying to the one person I had left and I hated myself for it. How was I any better than them if what I did was just as bad and shameful as what they did?

The door shutting loudly nearby brought me back from my self-pitting thoughts and I saw Yuto’s somewhat large form came to view. He was regarding me with worried eyes and a slight tint of curiosity on his expression. “What’s wrong? Did I interrupt something”? I was expecting such a comment but this time I was not the one he managed to get to, this time much to my surprise Maia was the one who got embarrassed even though she did a great job hiding it. “No. I was just thinking about something, that’s all. Why”?

He lowered his head slightly and hesitated for a moment before his resolve won and he spoke with conviction in his voice. “There is something I want to ask you. In private if you will”. I raised my right eyebrow in question to his words and what he had in mind but I never expected him to not have questions in the first place. Even when I first agreed to help him I encouraged him to ask me anything he wanted even if irrelevant. I got up from the chair and followed him to the room I was using in the back. When we got in I closed the door behind me and waited patiently for him to start leaning on the door. He started pacing in thought and for a minute or so that was all that was happening before he stopped abruptly mid step and turned to me. “That night, what was that arte you used”?

I wasn’t sure if he was serious of just messing with me again. He was asking me something that was quite obvious even for an amateur magus so I answered him with the same uncertainty in my voice. “Something that is totally achievable with my powers”? He was staring at me like I had grown a second head and for some reason I tried to make sure that I hadn’t by looking.

“That’s not what I mean Archer. What type of arte was it”? Now that made more sense, he was asking the type. And really it is still an obvious question with an obvious answer and I was losing my patience. “Where are you going with this Yuto? You know I’m not a mind reader”. Suddenly he came closer and stopped right in front of me; almost letting our whole bodies touch. The look in his eyes told me that this was important and he was serious as hell. “Was it a master arte”?

What now? What was he talking about, what is a master arte? “No you idiot it was simple high tier magic so it was a high tier arte. What the hell is a master arte”? I pushed him gently away demanding my space and he backed off as I was now questioning his sanity. Sighing he made a few more steps back and started pacing again, but this time he was also talking. “A master arte is magic even greater than high tier artes. It is the result of tiring, endless training in the art of magic and very, very powerful. It is the greatest magic a magus can cast based on his affinity, his most powerful arte, his masterpiece and the epitome of his magic. Only the strongest of the magi can develop a master arte and each one is unique and keyed to a single magus. What you did back there was magic strong enough to be a master arte”.

His explanation made clear what he wanted to know but all this was insane. I could not do magic like that and he knew it. Even if I was able to do it how would I be able to do it without the amount of training it would require? I was only 18 and he was asking me this? “I don’t know what’s gotten into you but what I did was only a bigger version of what I always do. I fired waves of projections one after another from the sky using all the mana I produced until then. I was simply using all my mana for basic projections in massive quantities and that is considered a high tier magic arte because it requires immense amounts of mana I can only store during a blood moon. Plus this was the first and last time I used it”.

Letting go of a breath he was holding while I was talking he stopped again and then he walked to the bed and sat down. I was still leaning on the door and he motioned me to sit too so I did. This was not over yet. “Maia says you will be completely healed by tomorrow but she wants you to take two more mana potions just to be safe. And I told her that we will be leaving tomorrow most likely”. My head turned instinctively when I heard his words and I didn’t even have to process them to know what he meant. He had found something. “I heard from the villagers that Lars will be in Starkhaven, the Crown City of the continent, to pay his condolences for the king’s deceased wife. Every year the master magi of this continent gather here along with others who want to do so, to pay their respects to him”.

This was it. This was what I needed. The chance I have been waiting for. “He is going to be here? When? How long? Where is this Starkhaven”? The questions were coming out of my mouth without me waiting for one answer first. I had turned my whole body towards his and holding him from his shoulders, shaking him as I was asking all these things with a voice louder than my usual. He grabbed my hands and removed them from his shoulders and tried to hold me still. “Hey stop it. I was going to tell you this even if you hadn’t asked but I won’t if you don’t settle down”.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he blackmailing me? He was blackmailing me. My mouth hanged open and I looked at him with disbelief. I was going to keep a grudge later if he decided to follow me still, but for now I would swallow my pride and settle down like I was some kind of kid that wanted something so much and was becoming unbearable. I saw a brief smile crawling its way to his face and that was making even more furious underneath and I had to tell myself that he was helping in some way that I couldn’t fathom. How was making me wait helpful at all when I don’t even have the time to wait? He continued only when he was satisfied with my silence.

“Starkhaven is a week’s journey from here on foot. However the road is complex and someone could lose the right path if not careful or not in possession of a map, and at some point the path becomes dangerous. Bandits are always lurking in the shadows to pick on lost and helpless people”. He was literally making me angrier by the second. I was not helpless for Ea’s sake. Granted I may get lost but I was more than capable to deal with the bandits he was talking about. Thankfully he continued before my eyes started twitching. “Lars will be there in just 9 days which gives us plenty of time even if we encounter complications along the way and he will stay there for that single day. That is our window of opportunity. He does not like being close to many people and prefers to be completely alone so that we can use to our advantage. We can corner him and then he will be all yours”.

His choice of words surprised me. He was making himself a part of the plan until the time I would kill Lars. I knew he was against killing, he said so many times in the past two weeks but if it was the only way then he would kill. And yet he wasn’t trying to talk me out of committing murder once again, in fact he was going to help me do it in a way. It felt like I was making him do this. In a twisted and horrible way I felt responsible for the times he lost a part of him by taking the lives of dozens of people. It felt like I was corrupting him.

We interrupted our plans to go and eat as we were making Maia wait and we acted normal in front of her, but I was restless the entire time. After we finished and washed the utensils we used we excused ourselves and continued with our planning.

It took us until almost night to make sure that we covered every difficulties and problems we could come up with. The only things we had to be careful with were Lars’s powers and his ability to fight. No one has seen him fight before and he doesn’t show off his magic even if someone were to provoke him. Of all the master magi he was the one most shrouded in mystery, making him the most dangerous of them all. And the fact that he is indeed a master magus while he kept his magic affinity and capabilities a secret is something that bothered me but I could do nothing about it. In fact I was most likely in the same boat as him. No one knows what I can do because there is no one with magic that resembles mine.

We told Maia that we would be taking our leave in the morning before the sun had risen to the sky and we were grateful for her hospitality and help. The look she gave us was most surprising. She wore the mask of happiness well and she could hide her feelings like it was a profession, but I could still detect the slight hint of sadness in her eyes when she looked at us before going to her room. There was something that was bothering her more than she wanted to let off and I wanted to know if it was because of us but I knew better than to meddle with someone else’s business.

That night I could barely close my eyes. I was restless and anxious to leave and it was wearing me out but not fast enough. It was way past midnight when I decided to get off the bed and test my magic just to get a bit tired. I started with simple projections, small knives and daggers that required the least bit of mana, and then I moved to bigger weapons like swords, small at first and then long ones. I made quite enough and I could feel that my core was not having problems with the mana flow to my body, so I decided to go a bit further and bring out my spear.

Closing my eyes I focused on the spear that was now the weapon I favored the most. The blood red spear that I killed so many people with, the only weapon painted in a different color than the rest and the one that saved me more times than I can count. Burning the necessary amounts of mana I materialized the spear and it glowed, that bright crimson red light in the room overshadowing the silver light of the moon coming from the window.

I hated what this spear symbolized, what I did and what I’ve become. But it was the only thing I have of her that will always stay with me, even if I can’t keep my promise. I felt my eyes water and tears started to fall on my cheeks as my memories of her flooded my mind. I let the spear disappear into nothingness and lied back on the bed where sleep finally found me and ended my sadness for now.