Mary's Path

“Don’t shout like that Zerden,” the woman said with a tone that only mothers use for their children. “You must be Mary,” she said, smiling at Mary.

“Yes, ma’am,” said Mary and curtsied.

“Call me Anna, my friend. Take your cloak off and come in and we’ll eat as soon as Zerden’s father arrives,” she said.

Mary hung her cloak on a hook and followed Zerden further into the apartment. Mary found herself standing in a kitchen. Not the kind of kitchen she was used to work in, but the kind of kitchen that she had had at home with her parents.

There was a fireplace for cooking, a large and sturdy table with several chairs around and shelves filled the walls. On shelves were everything from groceries to pot and pans.

Mary realized that it would not be possible to have it like that in a large kitchen like the one in the castle, but in a family kitchen where maybe only one or two cooked the food, it was sustainable.

The whole room gave a cozy and homely impression and Mary felt sadness bubble up her throat. She tried to swallow it and smiled as best she could.

“Sit down at the table,” Zerden’s mother said. Mary sat on a chair where she thought she would be the least in the way, Zerden sat on the chair next door.

“Do you like living here in the castle Mary?” the woman asked.

“Yes, very much. I was lucky to be able to come here ma’am” Mary replied.

“We’re so happy you wanted to help Zerden learn to read and write, aren’t we Zerden?” Anna continued.

“Yes” he replied.

“It was a pleasure ma’am” Mary said honestly. “He’s talented” she added.

“Yes, he’s a talented boy,” his mother said, seeming to radiate pride for her son. Mary saw how Zerden blushed.

Then they heard the door open, and the castellan came into the kitchen. Mary jumped up from the chair and curtsied as nicely as she could. The castellan looked at her as if he was wondering who she was and what she was doing in his kitchen.

“My friend, you don’t have to curtsey for Ken in this household” Zerden’s mother said with a laugh. “You didn’t forget we were having a guest tonight, did you?” she asked her husband.

“Of course not”, he muttered, clearly not telling the truth, and sat down at the head end of the table.

“Sit down,” the Anna said to Mary.

“Yes, ma’am,” said Mary, sitting down.

“Anna”, the woman corrected.

Soon the food was on the table and Mary smelled fish and freshly baked bread.

“I hope you eat fish stew,” Zerden’s mother said, lifting the lid to the pot. Mary could see that the fish stew looked tasty.

“Yes, I do” Mary replied. Zerden’s father began serving the food, and before they ate, he led them in a short prayer.

Once they started eating, the castellan asked Zerden about his day. Had he done his chores and had he listened to what the soldiers had said? Zerden assured his father that he had done both his chores and listened to what he was told.

Then Zerden began to question his father if there was any news. The castellan told them a little about the prince’s upcoming hunting trip and about other news. Here and there, Zerden and his mother asked questions.

Mary sat and ate in silence. She realized she wasn’t used to sitting as a family for a meal anymore. The mealtimes in the kitchen were not spent talking or chatting. They were mostly spent eating as efficiently as possible so that they could get back to work.

But she liked to sit and listen to the others while she ate the good fish stew and homemade bread. After everyone ate their fill, Zerden’s mother began to clear the table.

“I’ll help you” Mary offered and began to rise.

“Out of the question,” Anna said, smiling, “You’re a guest here tonight and you can sit and eat in peace”

When the table was cleared, a pear pie was placed on the table. Zerden’s eyes lit up when he saw it. Even the castellan seemed to light up at the sight of it. Mary thanked him when he handed her a plate with a generous portion on it.

The pie tasted wonderful, Mary thought when she ate.

“So Mary, did you grow up in the city?” asked Zerden’s mother.

“Yes, ma’am, Anna,” she corrected herself.

“She’s lived in the artisan quarters before,” Zerden said.

“Then you’re close to home,” said Anna, and plated another piece of pie for Zerden, who had eaten his piece.

Mary nodded, she didn’t know how to explain that her home was a small room in the castle and not the house she and her parents lived in.

“Do your extended family live in the city?” asked the castellan.

“No sir” Mary replied.

“Her parents are gone” Zerden said. His parents exchanged a look with each other.

“I’m sorry, my friend,” his mother said warmly.

“Thank you” Mary said, trying to smile.

“They got sick, but I don’t know why they had to go away” Zerden continued as if it were something he had thought about.

“Zerden!” both his parents said at the same time warning him that he had gone too far.

“It was my fault they are gone” Mary said quietly. The whole family looked at her questioningly.

“What do you mean it was your fault, my child?” asked Zerden’s mother. Mary looked at her and suddenly, the words came out of Mary’s mouth.

She told them about how first her father got sick and then her mother, she told them that no one wanted to help them and how she took care of them. She told them about the day she opened the store and how she had gone to the market.

“It was my fault,” she said lowly. “I should have stayed with them and taken care of them. Instead, I went to the market and when I got home, I milked the goats and looked for eggs. I should have taken care of them, but I was stupid and selfish and that’s why they died” she continued.

She continued to tell them about how she ran and looked for the Lady, how she had found her but that it had been too late.

“That’s why she brought me here” Mary said. She was sitting with her head lowered now. There were no tears, and she was calm, uncomfortably calm.

She didn’t dare look at any of the others sitting around the table. Now they knew it was her fault that her parents were dead, how could anyone want such a person in their home? They would ask her to leave and soon she would be alone again, she thought.

Zerden’s mother got up and knelt by Mary’s chair. But instead of asking her to leave, she gave her a long hug. It was warm and it reminded Mary of the hugs her mother had given her when she had fallen and hurt herself.

Mary sat still and let Zerden’s mother hug her. When she finally let Mary go, Mary dared to meet her gaze. There was no hatred, only sadness.

“Mary my friend, it is not your fault that your parents died. You’re just a child and you took care of them for so long all by yourself. The sickness is a cruel sickness, my friend. You couldn’t do anything even if you’d been by their side the whole time. You did the best you could and not everyone could have found such help as you did. Do you understand what I’m saying?” asked Zerden’s mother. Mary nodded, though she wasn’t entirely sure the woman was right.