Manipulate

“You missed a spot,” Donatella snarls.

I glance up and look up at the tall and cruel woman in front of me.

“I-I- I’ll get it,” I stutter.

“Good. We’re having company over tonight and I want the house to be spotless. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I whisper.

Donatella kicks over the bucket of floor cleaner. “Clean it up! Now!” Donatella yells.

My body trembles as I attempt to grab the bucket. Then, I feel pain shoot through my hand all the way up through my arm.

Donatella stepped on my hand with her heel. I bite back a scream as I grab my left hand.

“Get up and clean up the mess!” Donatella orders.

I scamper to grab the bucket and towels. I glance at my hand. Blood. Blood. She stepped on my hand hard enough to cause it to bleed.

The mess is cleaned up and now I’m standing in the bathroom with a piece of gauze pressed against my skin. I flinch as the medicine makes contact with my wound. Aj doesn’t know about this injury. He should’ve never known anything about it.

The water turned pink when I was washing the wound. Thankfully Aj or dad didn’t see this happen.

“Go to your room and stay there until I send Linda or Lillie up to tell you that you can come down stairs,” Donatella says as she stands in the doorway.

“Yes ma’am,” I whisper.

I trudge up the stairs toward my room. I close the door quietly and sit on my bed. I pull up my sleeves. The scars from the teapot accident are still there. They healed, but they’re still visible. I grab my pillow and yell into it until my lungs can’t take until my throat is hoarse.

I hear Donatella welcome her guests and lead them through the foyer. This is the stuff I hate doing. Her voice sounds so fake. It’s sick.

“Don’t go up there. It’s too dirty up there,” Donatella says to someone.

I roll over onto my side on my bed. I flinch when I smash my hand into the mattress.

I hear the conversations through the walls and floor.

I get up off of my bed and start pacing my room. I feel something speed up. What did I do? I think.

I glance at the clock. It’s seven thirty. But when I last looked it was six thirty.

I feel panic rise in my chest. My heart starts racing. “Oh my God. Oh my God,” I whisper. I run my hands through my hair. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay, I contradict.

The panic fades and I feel better. My hands are still shaking though. I turn and look at the long rectangle mirror on my wall. I lift my shirt up and look over my shoulder. I see all the healed but visible scars on my back. The scars are the paint and my back is the canvas.

Donatella, Linda and Lillie throw open my door as I let go of my shirt. Donatella has one of my dad’s belts in her right hand. “Both of you grab one of her wrists,” Donatella commands.

I try to fold myself in a corner. But Linda and Lillie each grab a wrist.

“Hold still!” Donatella snarls.

The belt comes down on my back. Once. Twice. Three times. She keeps doing it until my skin is raw and blistered. My screams come out in agony. “Quit crying. Shut your mouth now,” Donatella orders.

Half an hour later, the old scars on my back are now bleeding. They burn like hell and I can feel the blisters forming. “It’s only to help you Abhaya,” Donatella coaxes.

#

I wake up. My body is covered in sweat. I feel my heart beating in my throat. Stupid flashbacks. I think. Someone’s hand rests on my back, in a comforting way he or she is rubbing small circles around my back and shoulders. I can tell by the outline of it, it belongs to a boy.

“Abhaya? Abhaya, are you okay?” He asks.

I sit up and turn around. It’s still dark, but a little bit of line shines through the window. I shake my head. “I’m fine. I promise. Is that you Theo?” I ask

“Yes, it’s me. Are you sure? I heard you tossing and turning. You almost fell off of your bed,” Theo explains.

I feel my face turn red. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize,” he says.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“You should get some sleep.”

I pull the sheet up over my face. I touch my face. It still burns from the embarrassment I feel.

I wake up to someone shaking me awake. I feel my muscles tense up. The scars sting when someone touches them.

“Abhaya, come on. We have morning training after breakfast,” Theo urges.

I sit up, and rub the sleep from my eyes with the back of my hands. “Oh, okay. Give me a minute.” I yawn.

I grab my combat boots off of the end of my bunk. They hang on the opposite side of my backpack. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and start tying the laces.

“Sorry if I woke you last night. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay,” Theo whispers, as he waits on me.

“It’s fine. I understand, you had a reason,” I say. I push myself off of my bunk.

Theo and I exit the dormitory, before everyone wakes up. “Abhaya, you know what?”

“What?”

“You’re really different from all of the other girls in TID,” Theo says with a smile.

“What?”

“Yeah. You really are. It’s a good thing. I promise,” Theo says as we walk down the hall.

“How am I different?”

“Well, you’re more independent than most of the girls. You’re kind, brave and stubborn,” Theo adds with a grin.

“I bet all of the girls go crazy over you,” I say with a smirk.

“What are you talking about?” Theo scoffs.

“Well obviously lots of girls would have had a crush on you or they dreamed of dating you,” I say with an evil smile.

Theo stands there gaping at me. “Wow. Just wow. What is wrong with you, Abhaya?”

“Nothing is wrong with me. I was just teasing you,” I joke.

“Yeah right. You were just joking,” Theo says sarcastically.

I smile at his comment. “Come on let’s get down to the cafeteria. Race you!”

“What? Abhaya you can’t beat me even if you wanted to,” Theo calls after me.

But I’m already racing down the hallway.

Theo is almost ahead of me when we reach the end of the hall. “Wow, Abhaya, you are fast.” Theo pants as he attempts to catch his breath.

I laugh a small laugh. The clock on the wall says that it is six thirty. “Theo, does breakfast times change depending on the days?”

“They can. Why?”

“Well, when we left the dorm the clock said that the time was six and it can’t take us half an hour to get to the cafeteria,” I explain.

Theo looks at me. “It’s fine, Abhaya. Some clocks are faster than others. Don’t worry,” Theo coaxes.

“Fine. But I’m telling you-” My voice is caught off by a bunch of yelling.

The cafeteria doors swing open as the adults enter the cafeteria. My stomach growls. I don’t want to eat anything. I really don’t. I was deprived of food when I was nine. I’ve gotten used to the pain of having no food. I really have.

I grab a tray and enter the long line for food. I scoop eggs onto a plate. I grab a piece of toast and a glass of water. “You need to eat more than just that,” Alia states when I sit down.

She gives me a disapproving look of what’s on my plate. “Please go grab a muffin or a glass of milk,” Alia orders.

Before I can argue, Alia is standing up and walking toward me. “Please go get a glass of milk. It’s my job to make sure that you’re okay. I made a promise with your brother. He wants you to feel safe here. Please,” she whispers.

I nod and go and grab a glass of milk. I sigh when I sit down. Theo sits down next to me.

“Did Alia make you get more?” Theo asks.

“How would you know?” I ask.

“It’s kind of obvious. I mean look at your plate,” Theo says, gesturing toward my tray. “You know, Alia is actually nice as long as you don’t get on her bad side,” Theo adds, as he starts spreading cream cheese on his bagel.

“Yeah, I noticed,” I say as I pick up my glass of milk.

Alia glances at me across the table. She smiles when she looks at my meal. I manage to finish my meal before breakfast ends. The bell rings at seven fifteen.

“Here, I’ll take that for you.” Theo gestures toward my tray.

I look at him stunned. “Oh, it’s fine I can take it. But if you want to take something, I guess that you could take my cup,” I say, handing my cup toward Theo.

Theo accepts the cup gratefully. I take my tray and dump the remaining scraps into the trash can.

Everyone piles out of the cafeteria laughing and talking loudly. “Abhaya!” Someone calls from in the crowd.

It’s Nick.

“Abhaya, I wanted to talk to you.” Nick says, out of breath.

“What?” I demand.

“I-I-I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted toward you. I was being a real asshole. If I made you feel uncomfortable in any way at all, I’m sorry.” Nick chokes out. “Please forgive me?” He asks.

“I’ll forgive you just this once. But do it again, and we’ll see how it ends,” I state. “Got it?”

“Got it,” Nick agrees.

“Good,” I say.

I turn and disappear into the crowd, along with everyone else. But there’s a feeling inside of me. Something doesn’t feel right about Nick. The way he apologized to me; I don’t believe him. I don’t believe a single word he said.