Maliha

“He’s looking at you again. His gaze is actually quite intense. It’s almost unnerving how long he can stare at you without blinking. I think he would like to speak to you.”

“When is he not looking at me?” Maliha huffed, rolling her eyes as she felt Uja’s heated stare on the side of her face.

“Are you going to speak to him?”

“When I feel like it,” Maliha murmured, watching as Enzo joined in on the warrior training her brother was leading the younger boys in. Makaio was trying to reach them to move as a unit but they hadn’t seemed to understand the wisdom in his teachings yet.

“Maliha it’s been a few weeks; he won’t stand by for much longer.”

Maliha shrugged her shoulders, sending a quick glance at Ujarak. His eyes met hers and the desperation in them almost made her feel bad but Uja had yet to show her what she needed.

“Maliha, why are you torturing him? Just look at the poor man, he looks so distraught.” Maliha’s eyebrow raised skyward as she glanced back at Uja, quietly agreeing with Xiuri before focussing back on her friend. “See, he looks as if someone he loves has died.”

“I don’t recall you being so talkative Xiuri.”

Xiuri grinned widely, her teeth glistening against her dark skin. “I’m still quiet, I am,” She interjected when Maliha scoffed at her. “I just know how to vocalise my feelings now whereas before I was too scared or ashamed to.”

“Well- thank you for informing me of your feelings, Xiuri. I truly appreciate the insight but contrary to popular belief, I am not ignoring Ujarak out of my twisted desire to punish him. I merely have nothing left to say. He has not done anything different to warrant my forgiveness and acceptance. Until he can show me the truth of his words, I don’t want to hear him say anything more. All he speaks are falsehoods if he cannot show them to be true.”

“But it’s so clear you love him Maliha, you can’t hide your emotions from everyone so why torture yourself by denying this?”

Maliha sighed deeply, staring at the grass and hoping that it would open up and swallow her whole. She was tired or repeating the same things over and over again.

“My feelings for him have always been obvious, Xiuri. I won’t deny I love him, but I can’t love him more than I love myself and forgiving Ujarak and taking him back when he has not shown me that he has changed his toxic behaviour, would be doing just that. He is a creature of habit, so when he hurts me again because he will, I would have no one to blame but myself. I would willingly be subjecting myself to more pain. At some point, I have to love myself more than that.”

“I can’t disagree with that.” Mumbled Xiuri, squinting at Uja interacting with Kamir. “What exactly do you think it will take? What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know but after all that he has done it has to be something significant.” Maliha bit her lower lip as she pondered over Xiuri’s words. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for. “He hasn’t done anything but talk and stare at me intensely. It’s quite disconcerting.”

It was obvious that Ujarak had changed marginally because he was here trying to learn from her father and mend the broken ties, yet Maliha needed more. She had no clue what it would take for her to accept him back, if she ever would, but it was imperative that her brother Makaio not only approve but accept Ujarak. As it stood, her brother had no respect or care for the man and for Maliha, Makaio’s approval was a necessity.

“Maybe it’s in the small changes he has made. He is extremely active with Enzo. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Yes, it shows some sort of maturity on his behalf but still nothing that proves his love for me. It’s all moot Xiuri, I have prayed on it and until I feel moved in my heart, I won’t accept what he is offering.” Maliha clapped her hand in finality and climbed to her feet. “Now, let’s go.” The last part of Maliha’s words was mumbled as the very man she had been avoiding stood above them.

“Xiuri, Maliha,” Ujarak nodded in greeting.

“Hello Uja,” smiled Xiuri, her gaze flickering between the two lovers.

“Goodbye Uja,” Maliha puffed, as she waved goodbye to him, but he followed behind her. His long strides matching her shorter ones.

“I wanted to speak to you Maliha.”

“That’s nice Ujarak but we can’t always get what we want.” She shot over her shoulder as she retreated away from the busy crowd.

“Well, when can we speak?” He called after. His body halting in defeat.

“Never,” she shouted back before running towards the rocky cliff that led to her mother’s sanctuary.

Maliha had been spending much of her time up there. Her mind was constantly churning with all her options and all that she had lost and could still lose. She was trying to put up a hard-cold front in order to protect the last vestiges of her heart but seeing Ujarak connecting with her birth tribe and her father was slowly melting the ice and so she had to continually separate herself from him.

Maliha feared that she would forgive him for everything and fall into the habit that many women did. Falling for the apologies of today knowing that tomorrow would promise the same thing. Eventually, those platitudes would wear thin and then what would she be left with. Nothing, not even her own self-respect. She had to remain strong even when everyone seemed to be pushing them together.

Maliha sat up by the bridge for hours, watching the sun making patterns on the sea until Makaio and Enzo cane to get her for the midday meal.

“Are you okay?”

Maliha rubbed Makaio’ shoulder in thanks while replying with an unconvincing yes. She was okay, in fact, Maliha was more than okay. Even though Ujarak’s presence had tainted her joy, she couldn’t deny that she wanted him to be here if only to boost her battered ego.

“Just hungry, brother.”

“Well let’s go eat then,” he grinned bumping her shoulder lightly before wrapping his arms over her. Maliha looked down at Enzo as his small hand slipped into the palm of her hand.

“Do you think we can stay forever?”

Maliha was a little taken back by Enzo’s question, her steps faltered as she tried to understand at what point he had began to want to stay.

“Is that what you want? Do you want to stay here and not go back?”

Enzo shrugged his shoulders lightly as he played with her fingers. He looked to Makaio for guidance before focussing back on his nervous movements. “I miss my friends, but I like it here. I like my family here.”

Makaio chest puffed out with pride as he affectionately rubbed Enzo’s fresh hair.

“Don’t mess my hair up,” Enzo huffed, causing both Maliha and Makaio to laugh at his disgruntled appearance. “Will we be able to visit them?”

“Of course,” Maliha responded even though she had no idea if they would be able to. “But won’t you miss Ujarak?” Maliha questioned.

“But papa is here?”

“He can’t stay forever; he has to go back to his tribe. Hopefully soon.” Grumbled Makaio, his distaste for Ujarak apparent in his tone.

“But he said he wouldn’t leave us.” Enzo’s downtrodden voice made all of Malians guilt resurface. She was aware that the longer they stayed here the harder she was making it for Enzo, but she wasn’t ready to go back, and she didn’t know if she would ever be prepared to leave. “I don’t think I want to stay anymore; I miss Makula and Darsan. And Nahi and the babies.” His voice grew louder the more upset he became.

“So, do I, I bet they are super big now and who is going to guide little Namali if I’m not there?” Maliha did not like the thought of someone else taking over her role. It was her sacred duty to help raise Namali and Maliha wanted to be present for it.

“Do you think Uja will let us come with him?” Enzo whispered, unsurely.

“I’m sure he would be happy for us to go with him, but I don’t want to leave my father and my brother. I’ll miss my family.”

“I’ll miss them too. Maybe we can have them both?”

Maliha smile sadly at this wishful thinking. Only children could simplify such complex situations into easy responses and solutions. Ideally, Maliha would love to have both her new and old family but reality would not allow both tribes to merge together. It was not plausible.

“I don’t think it works that way, my heart but no matter where we go, we will always have them with us. Our energies are shared through the Ishanu and if you listen closely you can hear them.”

Maliha sighed softly as they finished their descent down the rocky cliffs. She motioned for Enzo to run off and the moment she did she turned to her brother for help.

“He’s full of questions, isn’t he?”

Maliha clicked her lightly, rubbing her against her thigh lightly. “Yes, my Enzo is quite the curious child.” Maliha smiled absentmindedly at her brother.

“Has Enzo’s words made it easier for you to decide? It’s been quite a few weeks and I can see that our people are getting restless with the uncertainty of the Der Surjaz presence.”

Makaio’s words did not belie the true frustration of his people. He had softened them for Maliha, but the reality was that the Nah Barros did not like that the Der Surjaz had imposed on their land. Many had not forgiven the years of animosity and hatred that the tribes had shared, and it would take longer than a few weeks of forced proximity for their feelings to change.

“No, I’m just as conflicted as I was before if not even more so.”

Makaio stroked his chin thoughtfully, his smooth fingers climbing up to his eye and rubbing along the material that covered his green eye.

“You think that by going back with them you are automatically forgiving and accepting Ujarak. It is understandable why you would think that but in the end, the only person you are punishing is yourself and your son.”

All throughout the meal Maliha could not keep her brother’s words from her head. The truth that he had spoken had struck a chord. She had been punishing herself and more importantly Enzo. By separating herself from their tribe, Maliha had hurt her son even though they had gained love in replacement it could never take away the pain of losing the Der Surjaz.

Maliha’s mind was in turmoil and Ujarak’s steady gaze upon her skin made her thoughts even more cluttered. He made no effort to pretend that he was looking elsewhere. Even when he took the time to feed Enzo, giving him an open display of his affection and protection, Ujarak’s gaze did not stray too far from Maliha’s skin.

By the time the meal was over her skin was boiling from the heated gaze and her conviction was wavering. It had been but a few weeks since their last proper conversation and yet Uja acted as if had all the time in the world. He preyed on her like a predator, stalking her from a distance and never keeping her too far from his sight.

Maliha purposely ignored him as she listened to the awe-inspiring stories of her ancestors. Every day her father regaled her with ancient tales of their tribe that instilled Maliha with pride of her people.

“My great mother, lead this tribe for years thinking that her husband was dead to only find out that he had been captured for years by the Svolik.”

“Yes, and that was when we first reunited with the Der Surjaz. Before then the alliance had weakened due to the defeating of the Svolik in the final battle. Her husband was kidnapped in that battle and presumed dead.” Makaio added.

“But we knew that the Svolik hadn’t completely been defeated and we continued hunting the small rebel’s left and found Kazuo,” interjected Ujarak as he continued to feed Enzo.

“Yes, that is correct. Our alliance was reunited then and broke some generations later as you know. I think the ancestors will be happy to see us coming together as one.”

There was a sense of unity amongst them all but Maliha did not feel comfortable in embracing the unity when there were still people missing. “Well we aren’t all completely one, are we? The N’galiki are not yet united but I think in time they will come around.”

Her father cleared his throat as he passed his pipe along the circle. “Well actually, they weren’t part of the original trifecta. The ancestor that the N’galiki take their likeness from is not the daughter of Solayka.”

Her father was extremely soft as he corrected Maliha, but his response only frustrated her further. What did it matter if they all prayed to the same goddess and were created in her light? They may refer to their goddess as different names but the N’galiki prayed to the same deity as the Dahsolik nation.

“No, she is not but Osemi is still the daughter of Pathikyo. His first child in fact and the only who adopted his favoured form to my understanding.”

“You seem well versed in these matters.” Makaio mumbled inquisitively.”

“Yes, my friend who helped me get here is, well was a Funai of the Feri tribe.”

“Nkechi,” called Enzo excitedly, “I miss her.”

“I do as well,” Maliha grinned while lightly tugging on one of Enzo’s plaits.

“Nkechi you say,” Makaio’s speech was slightly slurred as he rubbed at his eye patch. His face in a grimace as of his eye was paining him. “She brought you here?”

“Yes, she made the journey with us up until we reached the field where he Rak’haan herd was. Her father is the Razi of the Feri tribe. I used to live with them some years back when I first started my journey as a wanderer.”

Makaio just nodded his head slowly, his fingers rubbing over his eye patch in thought.

“Are you okay?” Maliha murmured, leaning into his side.

“Yeah,” Makaio mumbled. “I just get these headaches sometimes.”

Maliha rubbed on his shoulders affectionately until their aunt Filsan motioned for him to come with her. Their behaviour was odd, but Malika quickly dismissed it as Enzo sunk into her arms. His head buried in her chest as she rocked back and forth to the musical sounds of her tribes laughing and taking.

“What’s that noise?” Enzo’s thick brows furrowing as he tied to decipher what the noise was.

At first, Maliha thought nothing of it but as she began to concentrate, she could clearly hear a deep ringing noise that was climbing over the music.

“Baba,” Maliha called. Kaori halted his puff of smoke as he looked to his daughter. “What is that ringing noise.”

His face fell into a frown of confusion as he tried to listen to what Enzo and Maliha he heard. Kaori’s large hand swiped in the air as he waved for the musicians to halt their songs and instruments. The gathering was brought to a tense silence as they waited with the stilted breath for Kaori to explain himself.

A deep rumbling sound reverberated through the air causing the hairs on Malika’s arm to rise. A chill ran over her body as she looked to her brother in fear. The horn blew again, repeating in three harsh successions until the clambering noise was all that Maliha could hear.

“Is-is that-”

“It’s a war cry,” Makaio called, reappearing into the clearing with a glowing green eye.