Chapter 11: Mirror Image
Water dribbled down Maliha’s neck as the short strands of her hair lay haphazardly around her. The soft swaying of the river lulling her as she peeled at the long green plants. Wild life moving, chirping as she lay there under the harsh sun.
Alone
The morning portion of the Sanfr Nafti had been over for a few hours now, the heavy beating of the ceremonial drums carrying the people away from the lagoon and deeper into the forest. Travelling further in land to where they would climb the steep mountain to reach the goddess Savuriya’s temple.
They had remained tight lipped about what would happen up there, only informing Maliha time and time again that she was prohibited from attending. She was permitted to bathe with them, to swim in their holy waters while they bathed each other but she was forbidden from visiting her temple.
Ujarak had been one of the first to leave, his gaze had lingered on her naked form indecently for quite some time, but he hadn’t taken those final steps. He hadn’t made any move that indicated he was sexually attracted to her though it was clearly obvious to everyone e within the tribe that there was an attraction that never of them seemed willing to act upon.
Maliha didn’t want to become another lover, a woman that he loved fleetingly until tell he found his Solah and the true leader of the tribe. She would end up another bitter lover, like Tanzim whose slanted eyes of hate continuously burned into Maliha’s back.
She was not like these women. She was not uninhibited when it came to sex, she was relatively new to the practice and though she had her share of lovers nothing would compare to being with a man like Ujarak. She knew he would be demanding, he would expect her to give him everything she had, and she would have no other option but to give into him.
It was a good thing she did not plan to stay here for long. She had already been here two weeks. The longest she had ever stayed with a tribe was 9 full moons and she would not surpass that time frame here. Not when there seemed to be so many hidden rules and customs.
Heaving a sigh, Maliha began chewing on the long green plant. Suckling the sweet nectar that lay hidden beneath the sheath of its harder exterior. The clouds rolled above her as she lay there, languidly watching her day fly by.
A darkness climbed over her sky and cast her world into shifting shadowed figurines.
“Razi said it is bad to miss the Sanfr, he said the goddess will scorch our lands if we all don’t pray and make sacrifices” Whispered a familiar voice from above her.
His brown hands were clasped behind his back as he peered down at her with his big grey eyes. His hair was clean now revealing that his natural hair colour was a deep auburn and not the initial brown she had assumed it to be. The dark wavy locks hung around his face and swayed across his little button nose.
“I am not tribe, so I am forbidden from attending,” she responded plaintively as she climbed to a sitting position.
“What aren’t you there, Enzo?”
Looking at the young boy with long damp eyelashes and a rejected heart. Maliha wanted to take him under her wing and be that person he could turn to. Though she had spoken to Ujarak about being a father to Enzo she still felt that he needed a woman’s soft touch before the world turned him hard and cold.
He sunk down to the floor, his ruddy hands wrapped around his knees as he hunched over, resting his head on his knobby knees.
“It doesn’t matter if I am there or not, no one ever notices,” he whispered, eyes downcast as he plucked at one of the long reeds that grew along the river bed.
“I think it does matter. I think you are just as important as any other person in this tribe.”
He looked uncertain, face riddled with disbelief as he shook his head.
“But I don’t have parents.”
And that was the crux of the problem.
Somewhere in Enzo’s young mind he had begun to equate belonging into the tribe with having a biological family and because he had none, he felt as if he didn’t belong. He had no direct roots that would reassure him. All he had was Ujarak, who had been oblivious to the boy’s needs.
“Neither do I,” she murmured softly, heart breaking at the image this child made.
Seeing Enzo was like looking into a mirror and seeing her younger self. She had been such a lost child, she had craved love and all she had received was their discontent.
Maliha shuffled along the grass, until she was sitting close enough to wrap her arms around the little boy. His body was stiff at first, eyes wide as his breath halted in his throat. A contented sigh oozed from his lips as his body softened and he melted into her arms, his head burying into her shoulder. Her fingers ran through his coarse hair, stroking the abrasive strands.
“I like this,” his words full of wonder and joy as his little arms wrapped tightly around Maliha.
He squeezed her neck tightly and then she felt the warm drops of his tears gliding down her neck. Her lips began to quiver as she fought back her own urge to sob at this boy’s pain and her own. The pain that she had only buried deeper and deeper the longer she had followed the river that lead her here.
It festered inside her and in moments like this she was a bleeding heart, full of bubbling rage and overwhelming despair. She felt every single emotion Enzo’s felt as if it were her own.
“Thank you,” he smiled, pulling away from Maliha as he rubbed at his red rimmed.
Those words alone broke the damn on Maliha’s emotions.
“It was my pleasure,” she chuckled back rubbing his pink cheeks that had coloured with embarrassment.
“If you ever need another hug, you come to me and I will be there for you. Okay?”
His head nodded in agreement. He looked happier, lighter, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. A shy smile trailed across his lips as the visible pain in his orbs began to fade.
Enzo was such a special boy; his laughter and inquisitive mind had filled Maliha’s day with such joy. when they had both recovered from their emotional moment he had shown her the type of boy he was behind all the neglect and brooding. He fired questions at her like a seasoned interrogator, laughed like a wild hyena and was as mischievous and cheeky as any other six-year-old was. Enzo was such a precious child and each moment they spent together Maliha was becoming more and more attached.
“I hid in the bushes when everyone started leaving the water, so I didn’t have to go pray with them.”
He chuckled, his dimples sinking into his cheeks as he told Maliha his ruse of how he hid in the forest to miss the ritualistic prayer. She felt obligated to tell him off but how could she when at his age she had done the same thing.
The Melikit tribe every winter would have a celebration at the highest peak in the mountain, they would pray for a whole day straight, without food or water. At the end of the prayer they would slaughter the largest animal they could find and sacrifice it to the god Himala who was the god of life and death. They hoped that by slaughtering the animal to him he would provide them with a prosperous life and more food.
Maliha had always been absent at these yearly prayers, it was not as if her presence really mattered to the god. She was not one of the tribe and so she would not be unified with them.
She would let Enzo miss the prayer for the time being, but she would try to persuade him into attending before the day was over. It was time he made his presence known and felt in the tribe, but she had a feeling it wasn’t the same for Enzo.
“Why don’t you like attending?”
“I heard the other kids saying that they cut off our hair and burn it and that- and that the adults have to drop their blood in the fire,” his face scrunched up in displeasure, “I don’t want my hair cut,” he grouched, causing Maliha to laugh at his sulking face.
Enzo may not have wanted a cut, but he definitely needed one, his hair was a state even after it had been washed. The ends were knotted and matted and the strands rough.
“Well how would you know if it’s true if you have never been?” eyebrow raising.
He didn’t have an answer for that just as Maliha knew he wouldn’t. Climbing to her feet she towered over him, her hands in her hips as she contemplates her next move.
“Right,” she announced loudly, “I’m going up to the mountain to see what they are doing, feel free to come along Enzo,” she called over shoulder as she began traipsing through the long grass.
Looking back over her shoulder to see if Enzo had moved yet, he hadn’t. Enzo’s legs were crossed at the ankle as he picked at the plants along the bank. His bottom lip wobbled as he concentrated on decimating the poor shrubs at his feet.
The tribe had been neglectful of the boy, but Enzo didn’t help the matter by hiding from them. He was mischievous and purposely set out to evade them. Enzo needed to accept that this was his tribe just like the Der Surjaz needed to accept him by being more than just a body of disciplinary figures. They needed to be the family Enzo ardently craved.
Maliha kept walking, her back strong even as she began to doubt her approach to things.
“Wait, I’m coming too,” he shouted, climbing to his feet and throwing the blades of grass to the floor. He sprinted across the short distance until he was at Maliha’s side. His small hand wrapping around hers as he looked up at her in nervousness.
“Let’s go.”
They made their way back through the jungle and along the worn-out path until they reached the lagoon. From their they headed left and tracked the trampled earth footprints that carried them deeper into the jungle until they reached bottom of the hilly mountain. The walk to the bottom of the mountain as not far from the lagoon but they had been protected from the harsh sun rays by the tall trees. The mountain had small crops of plants and flora but not enough to always protect them from the sun.
The sound of drums carrying them through the wild shrubby and higher up the mountain. The sun was a lot stronger at this time of day making the journey they traversed that much harder.
Maliha and Enzo stuck to the shadows of the tall swaying trees as much as they could, abiding the unforgiving sun when they could. The air was becoming denser the higher they came and the two were struggling to make it to the temple, Enzo stopping every few minutes, so he could rest.
“I can hear water trickling, just a little longer and we can have a break,” coaxed Maliha half carrying half dragging the tired boy.
It finally made sense to her why they headed up to the temple so early in the day. When the sun was just beginning its climb the heat was not so unbearable, but at this hour? Maliha felt as if she were melting, her body sweltering with large droplets of sweat.
She had never been so happy to see water in her life than she was in this moment. The gushing of a fast stream had her mouth watering and her body keeling over.
“The current is strong so be careful,” she warned.
“Okay,” he huffed, air wheezing through his chest as Enzo collapsed by the water and began gulping it back. Maliha quickly joined him and started scooping mouthfuls of water past her lips and across her face.
She collapsed to the grass once she had her full, her body sloshing with the liquid. As they lay there by the stream and beneath the swaying trees Maliha’s sense began to take over. The sounding of drums thudding picking up and sounding louder than it ever had before.
They were perhaps ten or twenty minutes away from the temple, if the loudness off the beating drum was anything to go by.
“Enzo, what are you doing here?”
The boy shot up from his slumped position at the sharp voice of Nahi, Maliha following suit as she climbed to her feet.
“I have been looking for you for hours and you have been here just - just lying about,” her hand flapping about in front of her.
“I-”
“I don’t want to hear it, get here now” she spat, pointing to her foot as she berated the boy heavily.
Colour climbed across his skin and his shoulder sunk deeply, big soulful eyes losing colour as his excitement dimmed.
“We haven’t been laying here all day,” growled Maliha, stepping in front of Enzo and protecting the boy from Nahi’s high handed words.
“I don’t care wha-”
“Shut up Nahi,” gritted Maliha.
“If you would listen to Enzo for more than five minutes you would know that the boy was scared of your goddamn ritual and was unsure if he was even wanted there.”
She was livid.
“If any of you just took a little time out of your day to pay attention to Enzo, you would know that he is seriously neglected and in need of encouragement not your high-handed reprimands.”
She was a ball of fury as she let loose, ripping Nahi to shreds with a venom she had never heard inflicted in her tone before. She was livid, so livid because instead of being worried that Enzo hadn’t been hurt or worse, all Nahi thought to do was shout at him.
“He has not been neglected, I will not allow you to speak on things you don’t know Maliha,” her voice like ice as she lashed back.
She looked like a warrior, hair billowing in the wind with her dagger at her waist. Skin glowing with flames of fire, eyes churning with plumes of smoke.
A muffled whimper buried into Maliha’s back as he sunk his face into her skin, finding shelter behind her body. The noise was enough to push past any intimidation she felt at Nahi’s clear anger.
“How can you say he hasn’t been neglected?” she spat incredulously.
“Every time I see Enzo, he is wondering about aimlessly by himself,”
“And look at the time. I bet you hadn’t realised he was missing until you started separating the children.”
Embarrassment and shame lined Nahi’s face and coloured her red. Shame because Maliha had been close in her guess. She had not noticed Enzo was missing until Ujarak had asked her where she had told him to sit inside the temple. Her face had blanketed white because she couldn’t remember where she had seen him last. She had taken the blame personally because she had been asked by her brother to personally look after Enzo while Ujarak had lead the people to the temple.
She felt shame because no one could remember the last time they had seen him, and no one had been all that panicked to find him missing because that “was his way”.
“I-” she hesitated, lost for words. Excuses falling dead on her lips because any reason she gave would only fall on deaf ears and for good reason because there was no excuse that could justify this.
“You what?” prompted Maliha, bringing Enzo to her side and clasping him to her hip.
“Would you like to apologise to Enzo? Go ahead,” she groused, her head bobbing down to the little boy who stood there with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.
“I-I,” a deep guttural sound rolled up Nahi’s chest as she bent over clutching her stomach.
Horror struck Maliha’s face as liquid gushed between Nahi’s thighs as she rocked to the floor.
“I think the baby is coming” she cried.