Chapter 22
DUA'S POV:
I offered the fajar salah(before dusk). Life have been chaos recently but we must never ever forget to offer salah.
I got up and folded the prayer mat. Anam's little panda was awake. Watching my every move while holding his milk bottle with his hands and his left leg and drinking his milk. Wired kid of a wired mom. Anam was sleeping beside like from next a tax would be charged for sleeping.
To me sleep and my peace are out there places. I didn't sleep well yesterday not today and Allah knows what it would be tomorrow.
I took a deep breath I knew these day is gonna be quite long. 'After all it's d- day' my inner subconscious said it to me. I made my way towards the closest. I picked up the little folder bag carefully like it's an holy thing. I sat in the corner of the bed with the folder on my lap. I opened it carefully and slowly. It's one of the last sign of my mother. Her wedding saree. I ranked my fingers on the fabric my. Feeling it. It was an white plain saree nothing amazing in it apart from that it's my ammi's. Tears piled up in my eyes asking permission to roll down. I clutched the fabric to my chest as I closed my eyes making all the tears to slide down. How happy my ammi would have been seeing me getting married. I don't know how she would have reacted. "Ya Allah. Make my ammi one of the jannati." I whispered. I kept the fabric back on my lap taking it in last time before I keep it. I was closing the zip of the folder when the panda came to me walking on his knees and hand.
He looked at me with amusement in his eyes. These panda is adorable. I got up and placed back the saree to it's place. I came back and picked this panda you know when I say this panda is adorable he is heavy too.
"What your mum feeds you." I asked him. In response he made a weird sound "oooww" like something.
I laughed and took him down with me.
The hall was empty down. The fairy lights didn't looked that pleasant as they looked at night. Indeed the decorations were amazing one could easily have nikha in here but armaan wanted it to have in masjid. No one minded that. A nearby masjid was selected for the nikha as it's close to our house so the bride aka me would easily get there.
I climbed down the steps with panda in my hands he must be a year old may be.
I went to the kitchen no doubt bua was awakened and all active. She was on phone with someone and giving orders to them.I made my way in sharina khala(aunt), Musafa chachi(aunt), asma didi(sister) and khalajan(aunt). They were all sitting and having tea. Though we didn't meet often like very hardly but I am happy to see them. Even though they could have showned up at directly nikha (wedding) or walima (reception) but they all came week's before.
I said saalam to them they all replied.
"All set for the day." Asma didi asked me. They all laughed when I responded negative in my answer. I placed panda on the kitchen nook. Talking to them. They giving me advice and soothing words. Though it didn't calmed me down.
Bua gave me tea in a cup. We were chatting in the kitchen. Slowly the number of people increased and I made a rescue to my room. Anam was a quiet entertaining person whom you would take if you had to be on island for rest of your life. So it was easy to survive in room for long.
"Dua show me your hands. Let me see your mehndi." Saba said pulling my hands and examining it.
"Masha Allah. Seems like someone is lucky" saba said wiggling her eyebrows at me. This girl Allah.
"Dua the beautician and the hijab artist are here." Asma didi yelled Coming in with two ladies inside. Followed by anam and her panda.
"Asma didi. I'll be here. You please go and handle farhana massi I couldn't take that lady in." Anam said. We all laughed at her. Farhana massi is our family member and a wedding organizer. She is an hard women to handle.
"Okay. Fine." Asma didi said pulling panda's cheeks.
"Okay guy's let's create a wealth out waste." Saba said pulling me in front of mirror.
"Shut up." I yelled at them. Poor me.
I didn't wanted to apply any make up not on nikha day but may be on walima so but the beautician got masks of various kinds. Like charcoal, coffee and rose. I choose the rose one. It might took two hours but it felt like infinity to me. I was all cramped up after it.
"Hey dua why don't you apply nail paint it would look awesome." Saba said. I glared at her. Was she for real asking this. I might have applied it once or twice when I was in fifth grade or something. Saba raised her hands up in defense. I shook my head at her.
"Ladies farhana massi said we have to be there before 11. It was 9:45 now so hurry up." Asma didi came and said.
"Please hurry up guys. And you both" asma didi said pointing to saba and anam" be ready. You are going in same car as bride. Anam be mature. I have to go and see the caterer they ain't picking the call. Uff. Dua don't stress up and why haven't you dressed up." She said looking at me "Ya Allah. Wait I'll call someone to. No the beautician are here. Right. Guy's please hurry up now." She was in complete chaos. "Well. Let's hurry up then." Anam yelled.
The beautician made me wore the saree. I know how to wear it but she seems expert in it.
"Saba carry these bag with you. It has the dupatta in it. We will spread when we reach the masjid." Anam said to saba who was busy as the hijab artist was setting the hijab on her head.
"Ma'am. If you're finished with saree let me tie the hijab I have other orders too." The hijab artist said.
"Okay. Dua let her do her work. Then. I'll see when the we have to go" anam said and left. She didn't took, so he began crying so anam took him with her.
I sat on the chair and then the hijab artist began her work.
I looked at the clock it was 10 past 20 minutes. And my anxiety level was high. My hands were shaking constantly. It was making me worried. I began to recite Darood sharif.
I was sitting alone on the bed anam was down and saba told me she wanted to use washroom.
Suddenly anam came in the room with panda on her and his milk bottle. She scared me though.
"Did the car arrived?" I asked anam.
"Yes. It did but some of the relatives arrived here in the taxi when they were supposed to be coming directly to the masjid. So you'r car was last moments used to drop them. But I'll come back soon. Don't worry." She said looking at me.
"Okay" was only thing came out.
"Anam" I called her. She was sitting on bed feeding panda with the milk bottle.
"Yes." She said not looking at me.
"Jazak Allah." She looked at me but I continued. " you know I thought no one would come to attend my wedding but you all came. I don't what I would have without you all. I would end up eloping" I said. "Dua. Why wouldn't we attend your wedding. Are you mad." Anam said.
"We wouldn't leave the chance of having free food." Said saba coming out of the washroom.
I shook my head at her. A took a deep breath calming my self. There was a knock on the door.
"The car must have arrived." Anam said getting up. But saba opened the door.
I closed my eyes okay we got these. You can do these dua. It's just a wedding not a war. Relax. Calm down.
"Salman uncle." I heard anam.
I snapped my head quickly in the direction of the door.
"You all go. The car is arrived. I'll bring dua down." Baba said.
Anam came back to the bed and picked up the sleeping panda. Both anam and saba left the room. I got up and stood beside the wait.
He came and stood in front of me.
"You look just like your mother today when I saw her for the first time. I know I have been a bad father to you all my life. And I always blamed you for the past but it wasn't any of your fault. I hope you stay happy forever." He said with truth in his eyes and moisture.
I didn't say anything just kept looking down. He raised his hand and kept it on my head. It was hard to not cry. All my life even after having a father I was deprived of the affection and love from a father. But today finally I was having some. Allhamdullilah.
I was crying now. Ya Allah.
"Let's go." Baba said and made the move towards the car down.
All the way he kept a hand on my shoulder. I can't ask for anything more Allah.
When I reached saba was standing outside might be waiting for me while anam was inside with panda. The car was decorated with flowers and ribbons. I turned and look back at the mansion. Allah hafiz home.
I sat in the middle in the backseat with anam on one side and saba on the other.Amir chachu was driving the car with baba sitting beside him.
After few moments we reached our destination. I said Bismillah and climbed out. Anam spread the red dupatta over my head. For the first time in my life it was too hard for me to stand on my feets today. Anama and saba took the hold of me and took me where I should be.
I was hell nervous. Nervousness was an understatement for what I'm going through right now. I was feeling numb and all paralyzed. I was sitting in the masjid in the women's area no not alone I know I am sounding stupid but don't blame me I am really nervous. I am just Waiting for them to bring nikha nama on which I could sign and began my new life with him. With armaan. A month ago if you would had tell me that I would be this desperate to get married I would probably laugh at your face. I was feeling so hollow within me even words won't even describe a bit of what I am feeling right now. Anxiety and nervousness but were killing me inside. My throat was completely dry but was to nervous to ask for water like water crises where going on the world.
Uff. Dua relaxed I said for the millionth time today.
Anam came close to my ears and said "they are here to take your signature. Okay. Be relaxed." She said.
I nodded to her. Wait how was my signature. I forgot it I think.
Suddenly a register was pushed in front of me on my lap.
Saba gave me a pen which had feather at it's end. With shaking hands I took with my every energy in body I signed the nikha paper. Okay now what.
It wasn't hard to hear when the nikha was going on in the men section.
Thousands of thoughts were running down my mind. Will armaan say yes. What if he don't. What if suddenly I have an heart attack. What of earthquakes suddenly comes. What if... 'hold down your suddenly and what if dua' my inner me said.
When heart stopped when armaan said qubool hai. Then again and again till he said three times. When the speaker asked to make dua I don't know everyone started making dua or not but I did. Every said amen along with the speaker.
Soon the nikha was over. Sweets were being distributed. I felt immensely happy but I was crying. I am leaving my baba's house forever.
"Dua" I looked up to see ammi calling me. Happiness was written all over her face. She rushed me into a hug. I began to cry on her shoulder. She left me lifted up my dupatta and kissed my forehead. "Allhamdullilah (all praise to Allah) Finally you are my daughter now." She said.
I looked down and began to cry without weird noises. Anam and saba both gave me side hug from both side. Lile a sandwich. I was still crying. Next came bua, she hugged me. She had tears in her eyes. I was a bit calm now. One by one every one came congratulated me and hugged me. Every one was happy around me. So was I but I saw ayesha coming towards me. She had a smile on her face that made me relax a bit. She came an clutched both my arms tightly to the point that it hurt me. I was wining in pain but she hugged me. When I was about to leave her she held me tight and whispered.. "You, gonna pay for this with your life." She laughed a little. "Congratulations sister" she said and left me.
I... I thought she would be happy. What was I thinking. I. Ofcourse you hurt her. You wanted to build your dream castle on her happiness. Why did you ever agreed. You are selfish dua. You are the worst person alive. You traded her happiness for your. You are cruel. Who though only about her self. And you believed she would be happy. You took away what was her. You don't deserve this.
My veil was pulled down.
I don't want to stay here anymore. I wanted to go in my room and curl up on my bed and cry. I am a worse person. Ayesha would never forgive me. Hell I don't deserve a forgiveness too. Everyone around me went quiet. I looked up to see armaan coming towards us. I looked down.
I was underestimating ayesha. What if she does something to armaan or me. I wish I wouldn't have agreed on this. Regrets was all I had. I am devastated.
My brain stopped working when I felt armaan sitting in front of me. I was still looking at my hands on my lap.
He didn't pulled my veil up instead he took both of my hands and kissed them. I felt numb. People around me were howling at armaan's stunt.
Ayesha's words were echoing in my mind. 'You, gonna pay for this with your life'
Armaan said something making the audience around us laugh.
Soon his hands came and lifted up my veil. slowly.
I looked up slowly up at him he was wearing a white kurta. His face came into my view his chin, jaw, nose and finally his... his eye's.
If anything happens to you armaan I am gonna regret it. I am gonna regret this marriage.☐☐☐☐☐☐