Lycanthropy

From within the car:

We had driven all day, and as I drove by the grassy plains, where she was training her warriors, I saw that she was sparring with a strong, dark coloured man. It took me a second or two to realise that it was her Beta, and my wolf howled in anger.

I had stepped out of the car and I could instantly smell that her scent, was mixed with his! She is my mate, and she shouldn’t be touched by another man! Certainly not her Beta!

Memories of him touching the bare skin of her back, at the ball, came up again. She is mine to touch, and even though she knows, and recognizes me as her mate, she still let him touch her!

I don’t know what came over me. I’m positive that I don’t need a mate, so why am I this angry?

With big strides I walked my way to them, looking in the eyes of that filth! Mind you, I don’t care that he is black, never had felt any racial hate, but Goddess, do I hate this man right now! She might be stubborn, and acting like a child, but he should know better than to touch her!

“My King, it’s not what you think it is!” He instantly said, kneeled and bared his neck to me.

“What? You’re jealous?” Emerson said, filled with disbelief.

“The nerve! You have accused me of being a monster, you harassed me with texts, you keep underestimating me and now you are becoming angry because you saw him touching me?!” Her fury rising.

I switched my gaze from the Beta to her. She came standing in between me and him now, and she put her hand on my chest.

“I never accused you of anything. All I did was show you, what I have as information. Sooner or later, someone would come to find out, and would’ve probably wanted to kill you. And even though you don’t like it, I am still glad that I’m the one to have told you!”

“Yes, I know, my wolf told me the same. But that doesn’t mean you have to be all so possessive of me! I’m not a regular piece of woman, who can be ordered around, and you should know that!” She said and took a deep breath.

She is not an uncontrollable force of nature, she can stop herself, even when she is angry. And she was right, she is no ordinary woman.

“Yes, you are right, I apologize.”

She nodded and proposed to me, that she would take a shower, and then we could go on for a walk, to talk. Which is all I wanted to do, before she send me on a wild goose-chase across her pack.

So after her shower, she smelled good again, the scent of walnut and honey invading my nostrils. Then, we took a walk across the field and ended up at the pebble beach. There we sat on a large rock, next to each other, and while looking across the ocean, watching how the sun set, she started to talk.

“You know what I’ve been through at the arena.”

“Yes, you told me at the ball.”

“But I haven’t told you all of it.”

She said, that all that she had told me, were the things that only included her. At that moment, at the ball, when she talked to me about her past, her wolf didn’t allow her to tell every other single thing, that had been going on at that place.

“In between those fights, at the arena, the time had to be filled up with entertainment.” She said.

At the way that she said that, I understood immediately what kind of ‘entertainment’ she meant.

“And the other part of that entertainment, happened to be Terrence.” She continued.

Winston was roaring, massively. He was beyond angry now, angry at her Beta, and at the men that forced her to do this. I was angry too, because if he was the one to have sex with her, all those times, then why is he still here? Why does he still touch her! I stood up and wanted to walk away, but she took my hand and turned me around.

“Keep an open mind, please. I have to tell you everything, and if you want to leave after, that’s fine with me. But you owe it to me, to hear all of my life, even the bad parts.”

She is right, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept it, so easily.

“You gave yourself to him!” I said, and turned around again.

“You can’t blame me! We were forced to do this, and it was always only me and him there. No other men, besides Milos. And yes, me and Terrence enjoyed ourselves, but he never took advantage of me. Not even when we were in our cell. For eight years, him and I have seen each other from every point of view. Naked and dressed, weak and strong. He is the only one that ever had my full trust, and that trust in him, will never leave.” She said.

Somewhere I can understand, that he has seen her from every angle. That she feels so comfortable with him, because they have been together in that cell for so long. But she has met her mate now. How can she still continue, accepting that kind of closeness from any other man, other than her mate?

“But how can you let him touch you, even though you know you have a mate?” I said after I dared to look her in the eyes again.

“To me, touching is nothing but a gesture. I don’t feel anything with it. Nor does Terrence.”

“Not even with me?” I asked her desperately, while looking at my hand.

“Yes…” She stopped for a moment, and took a step closer to me. She put her hands on my chest, and I put mine on her hips.

“The touch of your hand alone, makes my pulse react. Hell, it even makes me want to jump your cock, and ravish every part of skin, that probably looks pristine, underneath that suit of yours. I can only imagine what you look like naked.” She said.

My wolf howled in joy! Arousal flared up in me, and so did it between her legs, as I could smell her arousal burning up.

“But..” She said, and she pushed herself away from me. Leaving a gap of emptiness and sadness in between us.

“That feeling, is only due to the bond, it’s only a thrill of boy meeting girl. It’s only physical, logical, as opposites attract. But you have to try to ignore, that it means more than that. Because I’m not capable of love. Not in the way that you might want me to.”

My heart broke. Even though I thought I never needed, or wanted a mate, this still hurts.

I knew from the moment that she started to tell her story, at the ball, that she was changed by it. That she used to be a happy girl, who got sold off, and got ruined by a scumbag. But that it was this bad, no, I would’ve never guessed that.

Her sarcasm and jokes, are just a way to hide her pain, her feelings and facial emotions. She has forgotten what love feels like, and it will take a lot of time, for her to accept such a feeling again. It may not happen at all, but I’m not going to give up. She is chosen by the Goddess after all, to be my mate. I might just give in, someday, to whatever feelings I have for her.

“So, you’re not rejecting me? Formally I mean.” I asked her.

“No, even though I don’t believe in the love between mates, I couldn’t hurt you in such a way.” She said.

I was happy to hear that, yet some part in that sentence bothered me.

“Believe?” I asked.

“Yes, my father killed my mother, Terrence killed his mate, Amy got raped before she ever met hers, and so on. Mate stories have never actually been a good subject for me.” She said.

“Shit… that’s why your Gamma cried.”

“She what?!” She yelled and instantly her eyes greyed over.

I let her talk to her, for a minute or two, before she returned to me.

“That’s why she was so…”

“Popular?” I finished her sentence. Knowing that she had said exactly the same as I did, when Michael’s phone kept beeping.

We laughed for a moment, only then realising that they have met at the ball, at which they shared numbers and such.

Her laugh though, was the most beautiful that I have ever seen or heard. I wanted to kiss her, there, on the spot. But I can’t, not yet. I don’t want to give in to what I’m starting to feel.

“Can I ask you something?” I said, and she nodded.

“Do you still undress, while he is near?”

“No, ever since he knew I had a mate, we stopped taking showers together.” She casually said.

She takes showers with him? What the hell…

“You really don’t think before you talk, right?”

“Nope.” She replied while popping the word.

Now I laughed. I’m starting to like this girl. But there is still something nagging me.

“Could I be the one, to comfort you now, instead of him?”

She bit on her lower lip, and furrowed her brows. Her eyes darkened for a moment, but soon she returned to herself again.

She walked to the edge of the rock we stood on, sat down, and patted on the ground behind her. I followed her, sat behind her, and kept her in my arms.

We just sat there, for more than an hour, to watch the sun disappear into the ocean. And after it turned dark, we let ourselves fall back, so we could gaze upon the stars in a cloudless night, and forgot about time.