Loving the leech (Guardians of Red Moon city #4)

Kaylin’s POV

I don’t want to have to see William, but now I feel ready. After Joseph’s attack, I realize that William isn’t the threat, but the council that should, in fact, hold my back as their royalty. I have to put my hurt feelings aside and talk to the father of my child. Somehow we have to solve the problematic situation we’re in, and a good start is to talk. I’m not looking for an excuse or to get an explanation of how he can be so mean in his actions; none of it matters, at least not more critical than Aurora does. She’s the priority; I always manage.

If nothing else, after all, I have Nathan by my side, and even though we haven’t had time to talk or hang out very much, I’m blessed to have him in my life. He shows his love openly and doesn’t care more about keeping his pack strong, unlike William. That’s, after all, what proved that my ex solely from the beginning been careful to point out that the strength of his clan will always be most important and that he didn’t want a beloved. Unfortunately, I was stupid enough to think that his changing behavior was good and that he genuinely liked me. Now I know better.

It hurt to hear his words, and even though I may someday forgive him for it, I’ll never forget. No matter from what angle we examine it, he betrayed me in one way or another. He has admitted that he knew somewhere that it wasn’t me he had in his arms at night, that I took Jennifer’s place. Just such a thing as he knew but chose not to do anything about it is abhorrent. On the other hand, it says more about him than me; it’s his loss and not mine. I’m not harsh by nature but usually try to be forgiving about other people’s misdeeds.

William, well, let’s denominate him as an extreme exception for that rule since I don’t know whether, in all honesty, I’m capable of forgiving him. A part of me will always love him, and I can’t answer whether it’s my pure emotions or our bond that makes it. The other part wants him to melt away in an acid bath slowly. Do you understand my frustration at my feelings that are all over the place and extremely challenging to deal with? I don’t know; at the end of the day, maybe it’s about me being dense and making it harder than it needs to be.

I try to be tolerant and neutral in my thoughts because I owe it to my daughter. My childhood was tough, even though I grew up with the thorough needs met. Dad had a hard time taking care of me alone, and I missed a mother who could explain how the world worked. My child shouldn’t have to feel the guilt and grief that I did. Aurora will have the opportunity to grow up with both her parents, even though we happen to reside in different places. If she chooses not to contact her father or me later in the future, that’s another matter since it’d be self-chosen.

It becomes self-chosen loneliness, making it more okay than us trying to force a way to live her life on her that she may not want. Aurora is my everything, and I haven’t understood the love between a parent and their children before. Not until I gave birth to my own. It isn’t possible to explain how prepared you are to give your life for them to live, that you’re happy to go hungry as long as your child is full, how much you would instead that your child should feel good than you have free sleep mornings. I do everything for her, and that’s what life as a parent is all about.

You learn to override your own needs for the tiny human whom you promise to protect and love as much as you can. It’s something beautiful in itself, while it’s a scary thought, how we don’t give a shit about ourselves as long as they’re safe. But maybe it’s just me thinking that way; what do I know? Even so, all anxiety disappears, and a smile replaces it as I look down at my daughter sleeping in my arms. We’re in the car, on our way to William’s clan, and I sincerely hope he doesn’t mind uninvited guests. I don’t have the patience for unnecessary conflicts right now with everything else going on.

The cars come to a stop, and Nathan opens my door to help me out with Aurora. The Everton family stands behind and follows me up to the door. A young man I don’t recognize opens the door and looks annoyed at first until he recognizes William’s family. I step in with all the grace I can produce, and the vampires running around everywhere to get the house in order stops to stare at me.

“William Everton, where is he?” I ask in a loud voice.

“Who are you?” one of the female vampires hisses, and I smirk at her.

“My name is Kaylin Clarkson, I represented your clan and also council head Salazar inside the arena,” I reply, and she stares at me with big eyes, evident with recognition. “Now, where’s William?”

No one moves but continues to stare at me with uncertainty and even look at each other as if they don’t dare to announce where their leader is. In the end, Ozzandra gets annoyed.

“For goodness sake,” she sighs and steps forward to stand beside me. “WILLIAM! MOVE YOUR ASS AND COME DOWN HERE!”

The vampires quickly disappear when they realize that I have the high-ranking vampires behind me, even though they give my mate the evil eye before moving away to do whatever they are doing. Heavy footsteps move from the stairs, and I mentally prepare for a dispute with my ex. But instead of meeting his usual irritated facial expressions, he looks sad and vulnerable.

“My little girl,” he whispers, and I walk up to him.

Gently, I lift Aurora and put her in his arms. He smiles down at the little bundle but collects himself quickly when he notices Nathan is with me. Although he tries to hide the irritation, it’s there. William clears his throat and indicates that we can follow him. At first, I think he means all of us, but rather quickly notice that only me and my mate follow him along. William’s office follows dark colors and the windows seem to have some kind of UV film over them to keep out the sunlight, even though he obviously manages the sun. If it’s for convenience or to keep the room dark, I don’t know.

William sits down in an office chair behind the large, dark mahogany desk and indicates that we can sit down in the black leather armchairs opposite. I take the opportunity to study the room more carefully, not because of nervousness but rather genuine curiosity. Massive bookshelves fill the walls, and behind my ex hangs a gigantic portrait of a man I don’t recognize, but guessing is William’s dad given the similarities in appearance. I don’t know much about him, more than what Ozzandra has told me, and, according to her, he wasn’t a kind man but power-hungry.

“I didn’t expect you to come this fast,” William suddenly says, and I stop gazing around.

“You have the right to meet your daughter as much as I do,” I answer in a calm tone. “In addition, I felt that we should discuss how it’ll work in practical terms now that we’re apparently going to live in the same city.”

I put the extra emphasis on “apparently” because, in all honesty, I expected that he would at least behave like a grown man and be honest. Although he has hurt my feelings, I hoped that he would take responsibility and discuss these differences that’ll obviously arise in my life from now on. The left side of William’s mouth moves a bit upwards, and I’m surprised he’s showing any emotion other than annoyance towards us at all, primarily considering he’s repeatedly demonstrated that Nathan isn’t his favorite person in the world.

“I apologize for not speaking to you personally; you deserved to know about it before I applied for the move; you both did,” he replies, and my brain achieves a higher level of confusion than ever before. “With what happened, there was also time to think, and I’m remarkably sorry for the pain I caused you, Kaylin. You didn’t deserve me putting all my anger on you, and I understand it must have hurt.”

Well, he’s not wrong that it hurts me to know that the partner the gods have chosen for me still loves his ex. But on the other hand, I believe that I can understand his part too. That doesn’t mean that I accept or tolerate what he has done, but it gives some understanding. Jennifer was a big part of his life for many years, and it goes without saying that at least some comparisons between us would occur, but I don’t think any of us planned that it would become this big. However, it hurts to hear these words from William because part of my heart will always be his.

“Thank you, William. I appreciate your apology and accept it,” I reply, and he breathes out soundly.

“As for Aurora, I agree to any terms; you can pick out when we’re going to have her. I don’t care about the details, as long as I at least get to be in her life,” William says, looking down sadly at his daughter.

It stabs my chest when I see and hear the grief in him over the possibility that he might not see her anymore. I look at Nathan, who’s smiling, nodding at me, and leans over the desk to put my hand over William’s. He looks questioningly at me, and I can do no more than smile at his sudden insecurity.

“Listen to me, please,” I start and don’t keep talking until he nods gently. “This little girl is yours as much as mine, we’ve created her together, and I take for granted that we love her just as much. No one can change my opinion that a child should have the opportunity to grow up in the presence of both of their parents. I grew up with one parent, and even though my father did his best, I always needed my mother with me. Aurora shouldn’t have to grow up the same way and miss one of her parents every day. Together we’ll try to create the best conditions for her, and talking about it, as we do now, is an excellent start for it to happen.”

William smiles, and I find myself seeing tears in his green, beautiful eyes. Aurora starts to whimper, and he returns our daughter to me. I rise and rock her slowly in my arms while walking around the room. My gaze falls on the two men who look at me lovingly and realize that we need to solve that problem too before a new start can take place.

“While we’re discussing Aurora, you must also understand that your conflict can’t continue to exist,” I begin, and they immediately look at each other with annoyed expressions. “That! That right there is exactly what I mean! She shouldn’t have to suffer through the negativity you both release, and honestly, no one else either. I don’t know why you’re at odds, but I know that it hasn’t always been this way. Mine and William’s relationship no longer exists, but that doesn’t automatically mean it’s okay that you guys keep arguing about trivialities that happened years ago. If this is going to work and everyone is going to be happy in the meantime, you need to figure this out.”

I study the men carefully to ensure that my ultimatum goes into their heads. It’s not explicitly an ultimatum but instead wrapped up to sound softer while keeping a promise behind that I intend to make sure to keep no matter what. Don’t start trouble near my child because I’ll end you. It takes a few minutes for the men to nod slowly and agree to my terms.

“Great!” I exclaim happily as if nothing has happened. “Then you can start discussing this while Aurora and I go to plague the lives of the vampires who were rude.”

Nathan’s POV

William and I are looking after Kaylin with big eyes as she walks out of the office. Okay, I agreed to her terms but didn’t realize, however, that she meant now. On the other hand, this is something that we dragged out on significantly, much longer than we had needed. The truth is that I really stopped being angry with William many years ago, at least when it comes to our old brawl, but some routines die slowly. I expect him to look mad at me or at least growl; instead, he rubs his face with his hands and sighs noisily.

“I never meant for this to go so far,” he says suddenly.

“Which one?” I ask. “That we kept stealing each other’s partners or that you broke our mate’s heart?”

“I deserve that,” William replies, nodding.

No shit, you garlic-hating fuck...

I laugh inside my head at Zac’s irritation towards the vampire. Although vampires and werewolves now co-exist, it’s still in our nature and instincts to hate each other, hence my wolf’s reaction.

“What’s your plan here, William?” I ask and strain my eyes on him. “Are you solely looking to meet your daughter more, or is there any hidden agenda behind it?”

“I regret everything I said both about and to Kaylin,” he whispers, and I raise an eyebrow in anticipation of him to continue. “It was out of shame I said such things to her. I didn’t see that it wasn’t Kaylin, and I’m ashamed of that, that I didn’t put more thought into all the signs there. Part of me will always love and care for Jennifer, but I know she’s beyond salvation. I want to be part of Kaylin’s life, be one of the reasons she wakes and gets up every morning. But even if she were to take me back, it doesn’t work if we don’t let go of what has been and together aim forward.”

I study him carefully with my gaze and see nothing but love in his eyes. William loves Kaylin, and he didn’t know how much until he lost her. However, I don’t think he realizes correctly how hurt she was and how broken her heart still is because of what he exposed her to. She hasn’t had the opportunity to process everything she has gone through and all the added changes just by knowing who she truly is. As much as it pains me to admit, I know she’s going to need both of us if she’s going to get through this.

“I’m sorry, Nathan,” William says, breaking the silence again. “I shouldn’t have blamed my best friend for the pain that my then beloved inflicted on me. You couldn’t know since I didn’t have time to tell you before she decided to get into bed with one of my best friends. She’s responsible for the beginning of this vicious circle, but I’m responsible for allowing it to continue. From the bottom of my heart, forgive me, Nathan.”

It’s like a big rock drops from my chest of hearing the words I’ve been waiting for many years and finally being able to move on without anger or irritation. I bear as much debt as William, though, since I didn’t stop it either before it went this far. Who knows, maybe Kaylin was the goddess’s way of making us friends again? No matter how it is, I know we have to solve it.

“I accept your apology and am also sorry that I continued. It wasn’t right of me to say all those things I said and did. Forgive me,” I answer, and William smiles back.

“Friends?” he asks and stretches out his hand.

“Friends,” I respond with an equal smile and shake his hand. “What’s your plan to solve it with Kaylin?”

“I don’t know, man,” he replies, rubbing his face again. “I caused her so much pain.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” I say. “I haven’t known Kaylin for long, but from what I’ve seen and know about her, she doesn’t take it lightly when someone betrays her. And I’m sorry to have to say this, Will, but I think you’re the one who betrayed her the most ever.”

“I know, and therefore I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing for Kaylin to compare to that puts me in a better light to solve it. If someone else had been worse off against her, then I would at least have a chance; instead, I’m Satan himself, deserving the title, who exposed her to pain that she may never be able to recover from,” he says sadly.

“Talk to her about it,” I reply and am aware that I make it sound a lot easier than it is.

“How am I supposed to do that? She made it very clear that we’re a closed chapter and the only reasons she came here today were for Aurora and for us to resolve our conflict.”

“Because she’s afraid you’ll say the words she’s horrified to hear,” I answer because it’s obvious what she’s scared of.

“What is she afraid I’ll say?” he asks and looks up at me hastily.

“That you don’t want her because she’s not good enough as she is.”

“But Kaylin is amazing in every way!” he exclaims.

“Yeah, I know that!” I answer. “However, that doesn’t automatically mean she does.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Convince her.”

A/N:

Hello lovely readers!

The mystery thickens as William’s feelings become more and more confusing. No one knows how he thinks, and he also seems unsure whether what he’s doing is right.

❀ Will Kaylin forgive him and give him a chance?

✿ Can the men’s friendship hold?

❀ How do you think it’ll develop?

Please comment as much as you can! I love to read your words and learn more because it’s with the help of your feedback that I get the opportunity to develop as a writer. Hugs and kisses!